Communications Crash Course:
Eleven Strategic Conversation Frameworks for Everyday Scenarios to Enhance Your Conversations and Confidence
Series: Communication Skills 101
Alixander Dietrich
Contents
Title Page
Copyright and Disclaimer
Thank You
Your Free Gift
Foreword
How to Use This Book
Part I
Chapter I: Cars Are Freaking Complicated
Chapter II: Nonverbal and Verbal Communication
Chapter III: Medium of Communication
Chapter IV: Context
Chapter V: Types of Communication
Part II
This Is Not a Script!
Real Curiosity SCF I
Interest/Agreement Openers SCF II
Keep It Open
Topics: Storing and Referring
Topics: Amplification
Topics: Muting
Topics: Weaving
Plural Asks
Tridenting
Exit Strategy
Part III
Worksheets
References
About the Author
Did You Enjoy This book?
Copyright and Disclaimer
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Communications Crash Course: Eleven Strategic Conversation Frameworks for Everyday Scenarios to Enhance Your Conversations and Confidence by Alixander Laffredo–Dietrich
www.galhad.com
Copyright © 2019 Alixander Laffredo–Dietrich
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by US copyright law. For permissions contact:
[email protected]
This publication is designed to provide information and motivation to its readers. It is sold with the understanding that the author and publisher are not engaged to render any type of psychological, legal, or any other kind of professional advice. The information provided within this publication is for general informational purposes only and the views expressed are those of the author alone. The information is not intended to be a definitive set of instruction. Any use of the information from this publication is at the reader’s own risk and the reader alone is responsible for his or her actions.
Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at the time of writing, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any physical, psychological, emotional, financial, commercial, or any other damages by any cause.
Any perceived oversight or misrepresentation of any individual or organization is purely unintentional.
Thank You
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A lot of thanks go out to more people than I can list in a book; therefore, to those not listed but who have played a part in my success, I extend my sincerest thanks.
First, to Mom and Eric – Your constant support of me, even in my worst days, will not get the justice it deserves by thanking you here. When I say I could not be anywhere close to where I am without you, I mean it.
To Dad and Stacy – The work ethic and strict sense of perseverance could have only been inherited from the environment you raised me in. You both taught me to make demands of myself to get what I want, even if it makes me uncomfortable, and that is a skill I would never trade away.
To Uncle Barney – Even in my darkest days I know there is somebody in this world who will always love me, thanks to you. Your gratitude for everything in life—the good, the bad, and the ugly—is something I admire in you.
To my best friend, Tyler – Your candidness has helped me stay true to my mission and your motivation has lifted me up when I feel like giving up. You are the hardest-working man I have ever met or will ever meet, and that among many other reasons is why I look up to you. I am proud to call you my best friend of fifteen years. Here’s to fifteen more!
To Spaulding – There are many things I appreciate about you, but one in particular is your willingness and effort to keep people in your life. You deserve the best, my friend, and without your input, I would never have been inspired to write this book.
To JB – You are the person in my life who made my personal growth so successful. You were relentless in what you demanded from me so that I would grow, and you never let me get lazy. I can never thank you enough.
To Jorge – Thank you for teaching me to let go. If it were not for you, I would never have discovered what creativity means for me. And of course, thanks for starting the LC with me—I could not have done it without you.
To my friends in 5217 – For constantly pushing me forward while keeping my life entertaining—you are the best.
To Somiah, Aaron, and Dr. Blackwell – Thanks for your invaluable lessons and helping me discover my passion for entrepreneurship. Your classes were the best decisions I made in university.
To Huxley, Scruffy, and all my furry friends – For your unconditional love, loyalty, and plethora of smiles, I thank you.
And finally, to my love, Shveta – You give me somewhere to lean when I feel weakest and you restore my strength when I feel down. I love you more than you can imagine, and I am grateful for being fortunate enough to have crossed paths with you. You encourage me every single day. Thank you.
Your Free GIFT
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Welcome! I’m glad you have picked up this book – it means a lot!
As a show of thanks, I create a free workbook called, “Five Practice Tips That Will Bring Your Nonverbal Communication to the Next Level: Without Having to Talk to New People!”
This is filled with exercises I practiced when I first started learning to communicate that helped me get over the initial barrier of trying to figure out how to enhance my verbal communication.
Want to really sell what you are saying?
Get your copy here!
What You Will Get
A simple practice curriculum designed to help you absorb as much information as possible!
Basic tips to improve various nonverbal communication elements such as posture, eye contact, and more!
A workbook with simple assignments to help you pick up on what powerful nonverbal communication looks like!
Download your copy here!
Foreword
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I’m going to share a secret with you: I used to not be able to talk to anyone.
Not my friends.
Not girls.
Not even my family.
Think about that—being so shy that you cannot even hold a conversation with your own mother (who, by the way, makes a mean bowl of guacamole).
Let me tell you a story that I think sums up my situation perfectly.
When I was a kid, I spent most of my childhood growing up just outside of Reading, Pennsylvania. Back then I was an avid gamer and a huge fan of the Final Fantasy series. I wanted to work for Square Enix, the company that made those games. Unfortunately, being so engrossed in video games stunted my interpersonal skills and prevented me from having many friends. When I graduated from high school, my dream was to be a concept artist for Square Enix, and I needed to figure out what college would give me the best shot at fulfilling my aspirations.
Square Enix employed top-of-the-line artists. Going to a second-rate university would never land me a spot working for them. I needed to go to the best art school to even stand a chance. At the time, Virginia Commonwealth University was ranked as the top public art school in the United States, and it was located in the city of Richmond, Virginia—a bit of a hike from Reading. The
thought of moving so far from home was utterly terrifying.
But it was also an opportunity.
I had a chance to start fresh, meet new people, and make friends. As I grew up, I was alone most of the time. I had always wanted to talk to the other kids at school, flirt with girls in my class, and know how to answer when my family asked me, “How was your day?”—but I never knew what to say. The thought of how long I had lived like this tore me to pieces. I knew that this move would mark a much-needed change in my life and I had to take it. I packed my bags, said goodbye to my hometown, and headed south.
Once in Richmond, I immediately started going out to meet people. Unfortunately, as I went to malls, parks, parties, and other social events and venues, I began to realize something about myself that I had never known.
I was not just shy—I was afraid!
Sound familiar? Perhaps you feel this way too. If I could describe it, it is the tension in your neck, the blur in your vision, and the cold gripping your heart happening all at once. It feels like death.
And when did I feel it?
Every time I wanted to talk to someone but was stopped short by the thought, “I don’t know what to say!”
If I wanted to talk to somebody who was walking with a group of other people, you could forget it!
It all felt horrible! I felt alone in the world. Everyone else at those social venues was talking, flirting, bonding—and there I was, alone.
However, after trying for months on end with little to no success, I had a revelation. I realized something that would help me converse masterfully and aid me in landing any job I interviewed for, talking to women, and having a relationship with my family.
I was sitting in my room one day after a frustrating day of “socializing” and started playing my guitar while composing a new song. As I was referring to music theory and researching frameworks that helped composers write pieces, I began to think about how I would have never been able to learn music if all I thought it comprised was random notes. How thankful I was (and still am) that this art has theories and frameworks that support the reasoning behind a piece of music sounding the way it does. I laughed to myself because I wondered how easy talking with people would be if the art of conversation had frameworks, too.
And that is when it hit me.
What if conversations were built on frameworks that could be strategically applied to any topic?
I will repeat . . .
What if conversations were built on frameworks that could be strategically applied to any topic?
It was one of those harmonious eureka moments when everything in the world seems to come together and make sense. This realization was the turning point in my view of conversation that took me from bedroom stowaway to being able to talk about anything with anyone—family members, friends, random strangers, CEOs, celebrity martial artists, and more!
What I will show you in this book are frameworks that I call “strategic conversation frameworks,” or SCFs. From getting past small talk to gaining trust in strangers, I cover the whole gamut in these easy-to-use frameworks that anyone can master.
After developing and implementing these SCFs, not only did I manage to make new friends and develop the relationships I longed for in my life, I also successfully interviewed my way into having numerous job offers before I graduated university, met and dated incredible women, and started my first business with a healthy number of clients.
I had finally found secrets that worked, and I am excited to share them with you in this book.
If you are sick of feeling left out and not knowing what to say, and you want to change that, this book is for you.
If you want to make connections, boost your confidence, prepare for that interview, or talk to that special person you have always been too afraid to converse with, this book is for you.
If you want to see conversation not as some random words but as something structured and easy to engage in, this book is for you.
These SCFs will turn you into a conversationalist who will know what to say and be able to talk to anyone about anything.
So, without further ado, let’s get started in making you the conversationalist you were always meant to be!
To your success,
Alixander
How to Use This Book
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I designed this book with a specific method to allow you to absorb as much information as possible. The method is as follows:
Read Part I: Elements of Communication in order. It will give you a baseline understanding of theory to help you think about communication with a different perspective.
Read Part II: Eleven Strategic Conversation Frameworks in order. Each chapter includes an SCF’s name, a brief description of it, its benefits, when to use it, how to use it, a sample script, commentary and tips, and a series of challenges. Save the challenges for the second read-through.
Complete the worksheets on each SCF at the end of the book, referring back to the corresponding chapters as needed.
Read through the SCFs again and complete the easy challenges.
Read through the SCFs once more and complete the medium challenges.
Read through the SCFs one last time and complete the hard challenges.
You will notice that many of the challenges require you to converse with a friend or family member. Find a supportive influence in your life and/or somebody looking to improve their conversational skills and complete this book together.
Finally, a brief overview of a few discussions that I have had on the topic of conversation that are worth mentioning:
First, on nonverbal communication: Many people focus entirely on what to say without thinking at all about their nonverbal delivery. I believe this subject deserves a book dedicated to it, and I plan to write about it in the future. With that said, the main objective of this book is to pick out what words to say and topics to discuss and learn how to tie them into your conversations.
Second, on wit and humor: Like nonverbal communication, I find that wit and humor are topics worthy of discussion in their own right. However, I believe that these aspects of speech work best when the speaker has a solid foundation in the art of conversation.
Third, and finally, on the skills of others: In my experience of learning to speak, there have been times when, for the life of me, I could not get another person to respond in a manner that drives conversation. For a long time, I thought it was because I was not a good enough conversationalist.
However, a lesson I had to remember was that conversation is not a one-person activity; it requires input from the other party. While in this book I cover ways to nudge your conversation partner to speak in ways that keep the discussion going, the fact is that you do not have control over what they say and how they act. In short, sometimes people are either not in the mood to talk or simply have not refined their skills in conversation. Neither is something you are responsible for and therefore you should not blame yourself.
Follow the curriculum outlined above and you will achieve noticeable improvement in your conversation skills!
If you are curious about learning and mastering other aspects of conversation, visit www.galhad.com to check for new materials and updates!
Part I
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Elements of Communication
Chapter I: Cars Are Freaking Complicated
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Picture this: You are driving down the road and all of a sudden you hear an incessant thunking from under the hood of your car. It sounds like your vehicle is going to die on the spot. Oh boy . . .
You pull over to the side of the road and despite having no mechanical experience, you decide to pop open your hood and see if you can figure out what the heck is wrong. After you lift the hood, you look at what’s inside and the first thought that comes to your mind is probably something like this . . .
Cars are freaking complicated.
Despite driving one every day can you honestly say you know e
verything about how your vehicle works? Probably not. No worries though—most people don’t! We know how to drive it, but when it comes to all the elements that make up a vehicle, we don’t know how they tie together. Anybody can drive down the road, but how many people know enough about their suspension to hit a turn just right and maintain the maximum amount of speed and momentum to enhance their gas mileage?
Did that last sentence make your head spin? Good—because it illustrates this point:
There are things in our lives that we use so frequently that we don’t even think about how they work.
Communication, for many of us, is one of these things.
I’m sure you have heard or had successful conversations in your life, but do you know the elements that made those conversations so easy going? Perhaps you have realized that your communication methods are “breaking down,” so to speak, and you are “opening the hood” to look at the elements that make a conversation.
We are surrounded by communication every single day. Conversations with friends and watching the news are just a couple of forms in which communication can be manifested. It is so ubiquitous that we as individuals have never recognized the need to break it down into its elements to analyze them. How many people sit down and analyze an interview, a podcast, or even a conversation they had with their friends or family after the fact? My guess is, not many.
Communications Crash Course Page 1
