But Ainsley didn’t want to give it up and she closed the doors with a snap and crossed to her bed. Laying on her stomach, she stared at the wall, a little battle in her mind. She wanted to be kind but she also wanted to be the belle of the party.
At some point, she fell asleep but was plagued with dreams and when her maid woke her, she felt more tired than she had before she’d rested.
Donning a simple gown, she made her way down to dinner.
Once again, most of the guests had assembled but she slipped in quietly rather than making an entrance. Still, James’s eyes found her the moment she walked in the room. His gaze was pensive and the sight of him filled her with both excitement and dread. What would he say tonight?
Her eyes cast down and she moved to stand next to her mother. Agnes joined them, as did Clarissa. They chattered about the party and the wedding plans, and Ainsley was content to listen, happy for Agnes.
She felt him before she saw him. James had come up behind her and his nearness was like a touch, sending tingles racing along her skin.
“Lady Ainsley,” his voice rumbled behind her.
Her eyes closed for a moment. She was tired and she didn’t feel strong enough to spar with him just now. “Lord Rotheport.”
The conversation about them silenced as he joined the group. “May I speak with you for a moment?”
Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him. Her wariness must have shown in her expression because surprise lit his. “Would you mind if we talked another time?”
He searched her face, his penetrating gaze seeming to read her deepest thoughts. Clearing his throat, his hand subtly brushed the small of her back. “I only wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I judged far too quickly, which I am often wont to do, and said a great deal more than was appropriate. After spending the day with you today, I can see that I was wrong. You are a woman of kindness and substance.”
Surprise made a blush climb her cheeks, which radiated heat. She was sure everyone could see and feel it. “I don’t know…that is to say…I didn’t expect…thank you.”
He gave her a nod, “You’re welcome.” His hand brushed her back again.
She looked up at him then, there was a softness to his features she hadn’t seen before, they now matched the warmth of his eyes. His compliment, his look filled her with a lightness she had never felt before. It was so much more fulfilling than any compliment she had received about her dress or her hair or her smile.
Instead of answering him, she turned to Agnes. “I was thinking about the party. I have the perfect dress for you to wear.”
Agnes beamed at her and James’s fingers brushed up her back to touch a loose strand of her hair. And then he was gone.
The loss of his heat next to her made her shiver. How strange that she wanted to be close to him, touch him. Not only did it make her ache with longing but it was comforting in a way she didn’t understand.
He didn’t speak to her the rest of dinner, and she was content to sit back and listen more than talk. But when she went to bed that night, she fell into a dreamless sleep.
Chapter Seven
James was avoiding the house. First because he needed to get his boat repaired. But the urgency of that problem was linked directly to the other reason he didn’t even dine at the house. He couldn’t stand the sight of that little blonde hellion with her tempting lips and spunky, sweet demeanor.
He was lying, of course. He actually ached for the sight of her. What he couldn’t stand was watching Callum woo her.
His subtle touches, the way Callum leaned in to whisper in her ear, the intimate conversations where Ainsley told Callum about her family. Callum was his best friend in the world. His compatriot and companion. But right now, he wanted to punch the man directly in the nose. Hard.
And Ainsley. Well, if she was preening under Callum’s attention like the peacock he had accused her of being then he could dismiss her. But instead, she seemed quietly resigned. And on the rare occasion that James joined the group, her eyes would drift to him with an almost pleading quality. They seemed to ask, Why aren’t you fighting for me?
For all these reasons, he needed to make sure his ship was done by the time Agnes and Keiran got married. So he kept working and he made his crew work with him.
His men were getting rather surly about it, actually. They considered this a shore leave and they wanted time to rest. He knew he’d have to give them Friday night to head to the village and he’d have no choice but to attend Agnes and Keiran’s engagement party.
It would be torture. He was sure of it. He’d rather go back into battle. Fighting in India was better than this.
His first mate, Mulcahy, approached him, giving him a salute. “All the cargo has been secured. Repairs on the hull are almost complete.”
He gave a nod. He didn’t really need to be here. Mulcahy could more than handle it. He just didn’t want be up at the house. “Thank you.”
Swinging down onto the dock, James set back to walk to the house. It wasn’t that far and he wasn’t in a rush. He was never in a rush to get back.
As he made his way up the path, he saw a lone figure coming toward him. Recognizing Ainsley, he stopped for a moment, considering turning back. But she saw him too and he sighed to himself as he continued forward.
“Hello,” he called as they drew nearer.
“Hello, Lord Rotheport,” she replied. “How go the repairs?”
He said a silent prayer of thanks that she hadn’t used his given name. He wanted to keep his distance and that made it exceedingly difficult. “Very good. A few more days and we’ll be seaworthy again.”
“How wonderful.” She looked away as she said those words, a sadness in her eyes, and he tensed in frustration.
“I would imagine you’ll see Lord Blackwood soon. Worry not, Lady Ainsley.”
“What?” She looked at him with confusion for a moment before recognition dawned. “Of course.” Then she cleared her throat and stepped closer. “I wanted to thank you for your apology. It meant a great deal to me. It wasn’t something you were required to do and I appreciated it.”
“It was required, but you are welcome.” He didn’t want to discuss it. He’d misjudged her and he owed it to her, after being so rude in front of everyone, to publicly apologize. But in his own way, that apology had been meant to ease some of the tension between them and create more distance.
She bit her lip, giving him a thoughtful stare. “Will you always be a captain?”
His lips pursed. Honestly, he didn’t want to answer. The longer they spent together, the more likely he’d be drawn back into her. “No, at some point I’ll fulfill my obligation to my title and marry, have a family. At the very least an heir.”
“Why wait?” She had moved closer again.
“It’s not all that appealing to me.” He straightened. With her so close, it was honestly difficult to remember. He needed distance from her. “If you will excuse me, I’m headed to the house to change before I fetch more lumber.”
She curtsied. “My apologies for keeping you.” Stepping around him, she headed toward the water.
If he’d thought about it, he wouldn’t have spoken but the words spilled out before he could stop them. “Where are you off to? Alone, no less.”
She turned toward him then, a little twinkle in her eye. He knew he should have just let her walk away but part of him wanted her here. “Contrary to what everyone seems to think, I like being alone. It’s rather soothing to only have your own thoughts to keep you company.”
Visions of how she likely wouldn’t be alone much longer filled him with a jealousy that overrode his rationale thoughts. “There won’t be much of that once you’re married.”
She turned her head to the side, looking at him with one eye. “Who said anything about marriage? It’s not all that appealing to me either.”
“Why not?” Despite his best intentions, began walking toward her. Her answer surprised him. The longer he knew her,
the more suited to the role she seemed. Kind, caring, and capable, she’d make an excellent wife.
Even heartless women like his mother wanted to be wed. Though her reasons for wanting the protection of matrimony were completely self-serving.
She gave him a glittering smile. “I am a peacock, remember? How will I strut about if I’ve tied myself with apron strings?”
Despite himself, he let out a laugh. Damned if she wasn’t the most interesting woman he’d ever met. This was the real reason he stayed away. Though he did hate watching Callum fawn over her. But she was too charming by half and he found that dangerous. He was liable to fall right into her beautiful trap and then he’d be no better off than when he was a boy. Able to be crushed by a woman in a single stroke.
“Good day, Lord Rotheport,” she said as she turned again and headed toward the beach.
He didn’t follow her, though he wanted to. Instead, he turned in the other direction and walked for a long while. Try as he might, he couldn’t get thoughts of her out of his mind.
The days leading up to the party were more fun than Ainsley had had in months. And truthfully, helping Agnes gave her less time to spend with Callum, which was a welcome relief.
He was truly wonderful. Handsome, kind, respectful, and attentive but her feelings stopped there. He didn’t make her yearn. Not that he pressed her to do anything other than talk. Yet, somehow, she still felt as though he had expectations of her.
It was curious, however, because he never tried to touch her. Unlike James, who had held her in his arms. She’d wondered for a brief moment, if Callum had touched her, would she feel differently? Would a kiss ignite a flame between them?
Somehow she doubted it. But she had no time to think on it further as Agnes asked her opinion on table linens.
“What do you think? A green or a cream?” Agnes furrowed her brow as she looked at the two.
“Cream,” Ainsley touched the delicate leaf pattern that was embroidered along the edge. It made her wistful and a vision of James crept into her thoughts. His image never seemed far away. “It will accentuate the holly on the tables where it would blend into the green.”
Agnes nodded. “I hadn’t thought of that.” Agnes bit her lip a worried look crossing her face. “There are a lot of things I haven’t thought of.”
“That is why you have me, and your mother, and your aunts to help you. Don’t worry.” She gave Agnes a hug but her friend didn’t look convinced.
“But what about when you’re all gone? Keiran has a large estate. I’ll have to run it. I don’t know how and I am afraid I won’t honor him the way a wife should.” Agnes’s voice grew more frantic with every word.
She folded Agnes into her arms again. “Stop fretting. Keiran doesn’t care about table linens. He wants a beautifully kind woman who will love him. All the rest will get sorted.” She rubbed Agnes’s back.
“Do you think? What if I’m not what he wanted after all? What if—”
“Agnes,” she interrupted softly. “You’re just have wedding jitters. They’ll pass.” She leaned back to look Agnes deep in the eyes. “I see the way Keiran looks at you. You are everything he wants.” What she didn’t add was that it made her a touch jealous. She wondered if a man would ever look at her like that.
Agnes blinked at her for a moment before grabbing her up into another fierce hug. “I wish there was a man here for you too. I wish you could stay. I’ll miss you when you go back to Kirkcaldy.”
“I’ll miss you too.” She was about to say more. Confess that she was worried, for all her beaus she’d had, none of them had ever felt anything close to what Keiran did for Agnes. Ainsley was beginning to worry that she was always chasing the wrong thing. A movement in the doorway caught her notice. As her head snapped up, she saw Ewan and James silently assessing them.
Heat flushed her cheeks. With a jolt of understanding, she realized that part of her hoped James would look at her the way Keiran did Agnes. Silly fool. He was not the type to give her his heart and he’d only break hers. He’d been abundantly clear he didn’t want any part of a relationship with her.
Ewan cleared his throat. “How are the preparations coming?”
“Good,” Agnes’s voice quavered as she said it.
Ainsley gave her arm a squeeze and then turned to take over the conversation so that Agnes could compose herself. “Since it’s nearing Christmastide, we thought we’d decorate with holly and other greens. Is it all right if we ask the gardener to cut some from the property?”
Ewan gave her a big smile. “That is a grand idea. What about plates and such? I’m not sure I’ve enough settings.”
Agnes clutched her arm. “I didn’t think of that.”
Patting Agnes’s hand, she used her most soothing voice. “We did, remember? We sent for crates of dishes to be brought from Keiran’s home. They’ll be here in the morning.”
Ewan looked from one woman to the other. “Keiran is just making the rounds about the grounds. I can send for him if you need help.”
“We’re fine.” Ainsley smiled brightly. “In fact, I was just about to tell Agnes to go lie down. If there is a spare servant or two, I can arrange the tables.”
Ewan’s brow crinkled. “I don’t think—”
“We’ll manage, I’m sure.” She gave Agnes’s hand one more squeeze. “Go lie down.”
Agnes wiped her hand across her brow. “If you’re sure, a rest would be lovely.” She walked toward the door passing Ewan and James without a backward glance.
Ewan watched her go. When she’d disappeared from view, he turned to Ainsley. “Is she all right?”
“Just nervous and tired. She’ll be fine.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “I think it would make her feel loads better if we got the dining room arranged for the occasion.”
“I don’t have anyone to spare, I’m afraid.” Ewan gave her an apologetic glance, but she was having none of it.
“That’s quite all right, the two of you will do nicely.” She waved them into the room. It wasn’t that she wanted to spend times with James. In fact, after what she realized, she wanted to be with anyone else, but Agnes needed her to get this done.
Neither of the men looked particularly happy about it either. While Ewan was beginning to pale, James looked downright irritated. She ignored them both for different reasons.
“I don’t mind moving tables,” Ewan started.
“Wait until you feel them.” She gave him an angelic smile as she pointed at the first one. “This is going at the head of the room perpendicular to the back wall.”
“But,” he continued. “Am I going to be serving food at the meal as well? I’ve only just realized I don’t have the staff for this. Nor the resources. And with Clarissa being tied down with the baby…”
Ainsley let out a sigh. “Ewan, I can only handle one nervous bride.”
He and James had been about to pick up the table when Ewan straightened. “What is that supposed to mean?” Ewan asked incredulously.
James, however, was chuckling under his breath.
“Listen, Keiran has sent for staff. Or, rather I sent for them, with his seal, along with one hundred and fifty pounds of beef, grains, and winter vegetables. I’ve also raided his wine cellar, though it’s taking a bit of time to get all those breakable items transported. But they’re en route and should be here tomorrow. We’ve hired a lovely local band of musicians. Please don’t worry. It won’t drain Iverness’s stores or tax your staff, but I would recommend you suggest Keiran have the actual wedding on his own estate.”
Ainsley flicked her hand for them to move the table. James chuckled again. “The captain has spoken.”
Ewan moved the table and several more without further argument. When nearly all were in place, and Ainsley had spread the table clothes, Ewan made his way back toward her.
“Ainsley,” Ewan rubbed the back of his neck as he approached. “I heard ye comforting Agnes. Thanks for working so hard for her and for Clarissa and myself.
I’m glad ye’re here.” He gave her an awkward pat on the arm. “Actually, I don’t know how I’d have made it through this dinner without ye.”
She winked at him. “Ye haven’t made it through yet, but truly I don’t mind. I’m sure this was all my Aunt Millicent’s idea. She’s family to me and I’ve been doing this sort of thing my entire life.”
“Ye mean, I’ll have to face more events like this?” Ewan looked slightly stricken.
Ainsley tried to hide her smile. “I suppose now would not be the time to point out that ye married into English nobility?”
Ewan didn’t answer but he didn’t need to. Looking as though he’d taken a swig of sour milk, he helped James put the final table in place. “Ye grew up in England,” he looked at James. “Did ye have to do a lot of formal parties?”
“Constantly,” James winked. “Why do you think I’m the captain of a ship and ignoring my earldom?”
That made all three of them laugh and Ainsley couldn’t help but wonder how she might feel about James if they had more moments like this. Quiet, easy, and not filled with tension. Well, that wasn’t true. She felt the tension but she was mostly ignoring it. “Fortunately for you, I no longer need your services. You’re free to go back to repairing your ship or running your estate.”
“What will you do?” James looked at her then and she nearly caught her breath. Turning away, she spread the last tablecloth. It was easier when she was busy.
“I will track down the greenery for the decorations and the centerpieces and then I will try to find someone that can see how the shipment of goods for the wedding is coming along. I think Agnes will feel a lot better when it is all here.”
James gave her a look that made her pause. It was warm, filled with admiration. “You are a good friend.”
A blush spread up her neck and over her cheeks. She could feel the heat of it. Ewan had said similar words but somehow when James said them, it filled her with pride. “Thank you.”
Callum walked into the room and Ainsley felt her lips turn down for a moment before she schooled her features.
My Laird's Seduction_Scottish Historical Romance Page 5
