“As soon as you’ve eaten, and before the outing, I’d like a word with you. I’ll be waiting in the library.”
“No need,” he said as he turned away from the treats. “Best to discuss this now.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, looking a bit surprised. He hid his grin. It was always better to knock your opponent off guard, not that he wanted to be at odds with Ainsley’s mother. But all the same, he would use every ounce of charm as well as every diversionary technique he knew to gracefully get through this conversation.
He held out his elbow. She looked surprised but placed her hand in the crook of his arm as he escorted her to the library.
Once seated, she looked across at him. “We may as well get straight to the point. What are your intentions toward my daughter?”
He cleared his throat, wondering how many more times he’d have to have this conversation. “Marriage.”
She looked surprised for a moment. “Please do not think ill of me, but I did not peg you as the type.”
“None taken.” He hadn’t pegged himself as the type either. “I hadn’t thought of myself the type either. But then again, Ainsley is like no woman I’ve ever met. I find I can’t deny her a thing. And so I have no choice but to pursue her, really.”
Lady McDougal looked at him as she tried to keep the corners of her mouth from turning up, but she failed miserably and then sat back in her chair with a laugh. “I see. And does she know your intentions?”
“Yes, I’ve made my intentions clear. She is considering my offer and suggested we’d discuss it in the morning.” James grimaced realizing how far he’d fallen. It got worse with every retelling to admit that a little blonde had brought him so low that he was following her around like a pup with a pack of other pups just for a scrap of her affection.
Her mother’s eyes twinkled. “I see.” She cleared her throat. “While I appreciate that you are serious about my daughter, I want you to know that we are a family that loves deeply. You have to be ready for that from both Ainsley and the rest of us. You’ll be like Ewan, with a house full of nosy relatives all telling you what you should do.”
James’s heart beat rapidly in his chest, “I’m sure that I can handle—”
“Did Ewan tell you that my husband tasked him with being Ainsley’s guardian for this trip? He isn’t even Haggis’s son-in-law. He’ll ask things of you that you’ve never imagined. And my daughter, Fiona, she’s going to drive you near mad.”
Taking a deep breath, James had a vision of a large happy family, snapping at each other, bossing one another about. He smiled. “Then I shall circle back to where I began. My childhood wasn’t the happiest. I carry it with me and I thought for a while, I might not have a family of my own but if I did, it would be out of obligation. But with Ainsley, I see a future that will be different for my children then it was for me.”
Lady McDougal looked away for a moment and when she looked back, her eyes glistened with tears. “You’ll fit right in.”
He gave her a grin. “Do you think, Lady McDougal, you might share that with Lady Ainsley?”
“Call me Rhona. And with all due respect, I’ll likely tell her that you are a terrible choice.” Her sparkling green eyes lit with laughter. “Truly awful and that I am taking her home as soon as the wedding is done to escape your evil clutches.”
She’d told him to use her first name and called his clutches evil? “Pardon me?”
“Trust me, I’ll do ye far more good.” She rose then. “Return to breakfast and eat before your outing. You are to be a gentleman and you’re to make sure the others are as well.”
“Yes, my lady,” he replied standing.
She shook her head one more time. “I’m glad you are escorting us home. It will give you a chance to meet Haggis.”
“Will he like me?” he asked, cringing that he cared.
“Likely not. But try not to worry. He doesn’t like any of the men who’ve joined the family this past year.” Her eyes twinkled again as she made for the door. “I’ll send Keiran this morning as well. Just to be safe.”
He raised an eyebrow at that. Apparently she only trusted him so much.
Chapter Ten
Ainsley stood holding the rail on the bow of James’s ship. She should like to sail sometime. While her father had a seaside estate, his land was the real asset, less the sea. She’d only ever sailed as far as London. “It’s so exciting,” she shouted into the wind, as it whipped her words away.
Turning her head, she caught sight of James staring at her. His eyes devouring her with their dark intensity. She’d nearly pointed out that he hadn’t changed his mind this morning nearly a dozen times but something held her back. She was sure at any moment he would shift into the other James, the one that went out of his way to avoid her. It made her stomach do flip flops of worry to think he might go back to that other man because this one made her heart sing.
“It must seem so,” he answered as turned his back to the view and leaned against the rail to better assess her. “But it gets tiresome after a time.”
That caught her attention. “You’re tired of the sea? I thought sure one of the reasons you weren’t interested in marriage—”
He leaned over to whisper in her ear. “I wasn’t interested because I didn’t think it would make me happy, nor did I think I had much to offer the woman who’d end up chained to me.”
She stared at him, overwhelmed by honesty in his statement. “I don’t understand how you, of all people, could think you’re not good enough.”
“Me of all people?” He grinned and made to reach for her waist. She stepped away slightly. For one day, he could behave as a gentleman. While her resolve was weakening, she wasn’t ready to concede to him yet. She wanted to know he could sustain his attention for some period of time.
“You know what I mean,” she replied giving him a cheeky grin. The wind was once again pulling strands of her hair from its coif and he caught one between his fingers, rubbing it before letting it go again. She heard the murmurs of protest behind her but honestly, she was enjoying being in the light of James’s affection.
One of the other men from the pack stepped forward. “Lady Ainsley, come look over here, I see something in the water.”
She tried not to roll her eyes. His name was McDurvey and she didn’t like him at all. It was the way he looked at her. He’d been her last dance partner before she’d retreated to Clarissa’s room to hold Ava. He made her uncomfortable and she’d had enough.
“Stay close,” she murmured as she moved toward the other man. It would be rude not to mingle.
Finally, lunch was served and then the outing was declared over. She breathed a sigh of relief as they made their way back up the dock. She didn’t know how, but she needed to have a more private conversation with James. Another day of his attention fixed upon her and she wouldn’t be able to resist him.
Did she want to? Not if he behaved liked this. But should he grow distant again? She was a peacock, after all, and they needed their attention, she thought with a grin.
Someone grabbed her hand and began pulling her away from the group. “You must see what I’ve found!” McDurvey tugged harder.
She tried not to scowl. He was insistent to say the least. “This not a good—”
“It’s just over here,” he waved away her words. “It’s a sea cave.”
She tugged a little harder. “That is rather interesting, but leaving the group isn’t a good idea.”
His fingers clamped down on hers in an almost painful vice. “It’s just fer a minute.”
They were moving away from everyone and headed toward a seam in the rock cliff that lined the beach. Ainsley did not want to be alone with this man. She didn’t like him and she certainly didn’t trust him to be a gentleman.
But just as they were about to disappear from view, a hand clamped down on his wrist at the same time that another came to her waist.
“That is quite enough,” James’s low growl
might have disappeared in the wind but by the look on McDurvey’s face, James’s grip left no room for misunderstanding.
He must have squeezed harder because suddenly she was free of McDurvey and James turned her to bring her back to the group.
McDurvey tried to follow. “Wait,” he called.
James let her go and turned, planting his open palm into McDurvey’s chest. The man fell, splayed in the sand.
“Ye didn’t have tae push him.” Ainsley linked her hand through his arm, relieved to be at his side, if she were honest.
“He’s lucky I didn’t break his nose,” James growled as he bypassed the rest of the group and led her to the stairs that had been built into the cliff. “If he touches you again, I think I will.”
Ainsley didn’t respond, but heat filled her cheeks. His protectiveness had a warming effect on all of her. She likely wouldn’t admit it but she liked it. Very much.
The days leading up to the wedding sped by. In the end, it was decided it would be held at Iverness. Ainsley tried not to openly laugh at Ewan as Keiran brought in more food and more staff.
She was busy helping Agnes get ready but she found James at her side a great deal. It was always in the group though, never alone. In fact, they’d hardly spoken beyond the niceties.
Nor did he try to come to her room again. She had to admit, at least to herself, that after several days, she wanted him to.
Well, perhaps not her room. But she would like to be alone with him. Experience another kiss. Just the thought heated her.
They were adding more tables in the great room to accommodate the additional guests that would be arriving for the wedding.
Several of the gentlemen, who’d arrived for the engagement party and stayed for the wedding, had stripped off their coats to help, James among them. Callum too. She had to confess that she enjoyed Callum’s company a great deal now that he was no longer pursuing her. He was a thoughtful and kind friend. She honestly hoped he found a woman that was worthy soon. He gave her a wink as he helped James move several chairs.
As always, when James was in the room, she stopped seeing the others and followed him about the room with her gaze. She should have been arranging flowers, or directing staff, but instead, she found herself staring.
He must have felt her gaze and as he turned to her she blushed. His eyes darkened, she could see if from here and, without thinking it through, she started toward him. Several men were chattering about him and she only walked close enough to quietly say, “I think I’ll check on preparations in the kitchen.”
It was difficult not to look back. But she managed to keep going, praying that he’d heard her. Just as she was about to go down the back stairs, a hand caught her waist. She turned quickly to find James at her side.
He didn’t say a word as he checked around them and then pulled her into the morning room.
As the door clicked closed behind them, his arms were around her, lifting her even as her back pressed against the wall. One of her legs hooked behind his as their bodies came together and he dipped his head to press his lips to hers.
She could have sighed with relief, it felt so wonderful. And her arms twined around his neck as she tilted her chin further to give him better access.
He groaned into her mouth and deepened the kiss, parting her lips and sweeping the inside of her mouth with his tongue.
Her passion blazed with the touch and she pulled his head closer, wanting more. Ainsley wasn’t sure how it was possible, but this kiss was better than any of the others. When he finally raised his head, his normally warm brown eyes almost black, she asked him. “How does it keep getting better?”
He grinned and then lowered his head to kiss her again, thoroughly ravaging her lips until she’d forgotten she’d even asked. Finally, when he lifted his lips, he pressed his forehead to hers. “Because, we have a connection.”
“What does that even mean?” She fought through the fog in her mind to follow the thread of the conversation.
“I’m not sure I understand it either but I can tell you that I knew it was there from the first time you said my name.”
“Oh,” she answered as her hands slid to his cheeks. It was undeniable that they were drawn together. And she knew she wanted his kisses, that she followed him whenever they were in a room together. But was that reason enough to marry? Part of her still worried that the man she knew now would return to the one who’d insulted, then ignored her. “I’m drawn to you too.”
His eyes searched hers and some of the heat left them. “I can see you still have reservations.”
She did and she couldn’t deny it but she didn’t want to stop whatever they were doing either. “I want to keep moving forward. I want to explore whatever is between us.”
He gave her a beautiful smile. One like she’d never seen before. It made him look young and fresh, much of his harshness melting away. “That might be the most perfect answer ye could have given.”
“When did you lose your Scottish accent?” she asked. She knew it was a change in topic but every once in a while, she heard it in his speech.
He didn’t answer for a long time. “I suppose at some point after I moved to England with my uncle. I think I thought he might have more affection for me if I didn’t speak like a Scot.”
She had a moment’s pang. Had he spent his entire life trying to earn someone’s affection? Was she doing the same? “No child should go through that.”
He found her lips with his in a soft kiss. “It could have been worse. I was fed, housed, and clothed. But I intend to give my children a mother that will love them.”
“Oh,” she said again. His mother had sent him away and now he wished for nothing more than a woman who would love his children. That woman, whoever she was, should be punished for her cruelty. “Most women love their children. It was your mother’s shortcoming and she should suffer—”
“What if it was mine?”
He hadn’t meant to say that. Shouldn’t have admitted it out loud.
“Don’t be silly,” she started but he shook his head.
“I’m not.” He looked into her eyes. “Even you are trying to decide if I am not worthy of love.”
She shook her head. “That isn’t fair.”
“It’s true.” He eased away from her, though he didn’t let her go. Couldn’t let her go now.
“It is not.” Her voice was firm and hard and she stood straighter, than came up on tiptoe until her face was close to his. “I am trying to decide if you will continue to have affection for me. Or, if I am passing fancy.” Then she pushed him away and swung open the door. “I meant what I said. I want to see where our relationship is going but you haven’t exactly been forthcoming with your affection. I’ve every right to be wary.”
Then she slipped out the door and closed it behind her.
Of all the bloody awful things to say to a person, that had to be one of the worst. Because she had a point. He’d been attentive, he’d been considerate of her families’ wishes. Though a new thought kept pushing from the back of his mind. He’d also been distant.
Callum’s earlier words come back to haunt him. His friend had warned him about being careful not to be too much of an arse because he might regret it. Well, he honestly wasn’t sure how to change it. Love was something he had no experience with. No one had taught him how to give affection.
Bloody hell, he couldn’t seem to get this right.
He’d never really tried to court a woman before and he could blame that, but he had to consider the fact that she was correct. He didn’t know how to let people love him. He’d tried and failed too many times.
He stormed back up to the great room to find she wasn’t there which only soured his mood further.
When she came back several minutes later, she didn’t make eye contact with him, and went to the other side of the room.
After only a few minutes, she whispered something to Agnes and then he watched her leave again. He saw her head up the stair
s as he debated what to do.
Agnes came to stand next to him. “Is everything all right?”
Reluctantly, he looked away from Ainsley to Agnes. His first instinct was to tell her fine but somehow, he didn’t think that would help him now. “I’m not sure. I think I might have upset her.”
Agnes bit her lip. “She said she was going to lie down. It’s only odd because she usually doesn’t unless she’s been out riding all day. Honestly, I was worried I was working her too hard.” Agnes stepped closer. “I could never have done this without her.”
Comfort was not his strongest suit but he was attempting to change that and so he patted her arm, albeit a little awkwardly. “It’s not you, Agnes. We had a discussion that didn’t end well. I am trying to be the man she needs but I don’t think I am doing a very good job.”
Agnes’s face opened into a wide grin. “You’re doing a marvelous job. I can’t believe how much you’ve changed in just a few short weeks. Remember that.” She reached for his hand then and gave his fingers a tiny squeeze before letting them go. “Keiran wasn’t sure he could be what I needed either. In the end, what I needed was him.”
With a final wink Agnes walked away and James stared after her. What the hell did that even mean?
Hadn’t he been there for Ainsley this past week? He wasn’t out at his ship. But when he thought about it, he wasn’t sure that he really had been. He was trying to keep his distance out of respect and, honestly, for protection. She might reject him. It was clear, however, that that wouldn’t win her hand in marriage.
He found himself wandering and thinking until before he knew it, he was outside her door. Turning the knob he found it unlocked.
She sat on the bed looking at him with her eyebrows raised. “What took you so long?”
For a moment he stopped. The bloody little hellion knew exactly what he was going to do before he did. Regaining his senses, he closed the door and slid over the lock. “You wanted me to follow you.”
My Laird's Seduction_Scottish Historical Romance Page 8
