by E. M. Sadler
Right at 10:00 pm my phone lit up with the welcoming alert of Dale's call.
"Hello, Mr. Wilson!"
"Good Evening, my Kelly! How is your visit going?"
"It's going about as well as I usually expect. Though I think we shouldn't talk about it while I'm still in the house. He brings out the worst in me, and I don't want that to bleed into our call tonight."
Understanding my need to change the subject, we fell into an easy conversation about our schedules over the weekend and his upcoming trip to the Crayola Experience with the twins.
Around 11:00 pm, we were interrupted when there was a knock on my door, and I asked Dale to hold for a moment before pressing mute. If there was one thing Dale didn’t need to hear, it was the horrible interactions I always had with my ex.
"Come in."
"Hey, Kelly. I just wanted to let you know that I finally got Mazie to bed. Not sure why she was so worked up, what did you feed her for dinner?"
Oh! HELL NO!
"She had yogurt and pancakes, but didn't you give her M&Ms before bed? "
"Only a few pieces. It shouldn't have made Mazie so hyper. Are you sure you're keeping her on a good bedtime schedule at home? It's important to keep children on a routine, you know," Geoff said to me as if I hadn't been parenting them on my own for most of their lives.
OR THE FACT THAT YOU GAVE A 5-YEAR-OLD M&Ms BEFORE BED!!!!
"I'll make sure I get her back on track once we are home. Was there anything else?"
Shrugging his shoulders without commitment, he finally said, "Thanks for letting me take a nap tonight, I had a long day at work, and my head wouldn't stop pounding."
He said this without condescension, so as usual, I found myself forgiving him a little.
"It worked out okay, no worries," I said, as sincerely as possible.
"So, Mazie seems to like her new school. She seems to have made some new friends."
"She has. She's especially close with a set of twins in her classroom named Katie and John."
I know I should probably elaborate, but I still had Dale on the line, and I'd rather spend my evening conversing with him instead of dealing with Geoff's unusual attempt at a conversation.
"She did mention them and a man by the name of Mr. Wilson? She says that you guys hang out a lot."
"Dale Wilson is John and Katie's dad and the principal at her school. The kids bonded, so we try to have regular play dates," I said, hoping to mask as much of his importance as I could. Geoff had extensive experience in tearing down every piece of joy in my life, so I was not ready to give him full access to Dale.
"Oh Kelly, I can tell right now that you have a crush on this Mr. Wilson. Tssk, Tssk. Just remember that you don't know how to read people. Don't confuse Mr. Wilson's polite conversation as anything more than friendship," he said before adding, "How many times have I told you that life would be a lot easier for you once you realize that you aren't the type of person men go for? And I'm not just talking about your weight. You simply never learned how to socialize the right way. I should know, I was your closest friend for eight years for a reason."
Thank God I had Dale on mute at that moment, because how much more embarrassing could this conversation get?
"Thanks for the advice, Geoff. I'll see you in the morning," I said, trying to hurry him from the room.
"Just don't embarrass yourself, it's important that Mazie make friends, and I'd hate for your weirdness to get in the way of it," he said, trying to sound like a concerned friend, but coming across as the prick he was.
"You know Kelly, even though we aren't together...," he said, trailing off. "Well, you're still the only one I want to stick it in." Then he gave me his fucking bedroom eyes. "I can't promise anything, but I could probably stick it in you now if you're interested. But it would have to be quick because I'm starting to feel tired again."
Believe it or not, this was how he seduced me almost every one of the 72 times that we had sex.
"Geoff, I think it's best if we stay friends...without benefits. You know, for the girls."
"All right, but it has been over two years for both of us, this may be your last chance for a while. I'll be awake for a few minutes if you change your mind."
"Will do. Goodnight, Geoff!"
"Goodnight Kelly!" he said, before adding, "I hope you packed something other than dresses and skirts this time. If we go somewhere with the kids, I don't want to look weird when you're with us."
Then he shut the door.
Thank GOD for the mute function on my phone!!!
Chapter 40 – Dale
What a DOUCHEBAG!!!!
Not only was he condescending and rude to her, but after he tried to make her feel as undesirable as possible, he offered to "stick it in" her for a pity fuck.
It took everything in my power not to reach through her phone and piss a circle around my woman. How dare he tear down my beautiful Kelly.
"Dale? Are you still there?"
"Is that how he spoke with you, your entire marriage?" I asked, unable to hold back my frustration at my own inability to defend her.
With a sharp intake of air, Kelly asked, "Oh God! You heard that?"
"I did. And it's important that we recognize that most of what Geoff said was complete crap."
Eliciting a nervous laugh, she said, "Thanks, I needed to hear that. So, tell me about the Crayola Experience."
After two more nights of conversations like this, only without the entrance of Geoff the Douchebag, we had finally reached Sunday and Kelly's return to Danville. Even though I knew I wouldn't get to see her till Tuesday, there was a peacefulness about knowing that my beautiful girlfriend wasn't receiving a passive-aggressive beat down every day when I couldn't protect her from it.
My trip with the kids to the Crayola Experience had been a huge success, and the kids were excited about going back to school and seeing their friends. Thus, it was with much relief that they spent the rest of Sunday afternoon ignoring me and murmuring amongst themselves.
Dale –
Are you officially home yet?
Kelly –
I am indeed home, Mr. Wilson.
Dale-
Love you! Talk to you at 10?
Kelly –
Love you too! Told the kids about us when we got home. Mandy was confused, but Mazie is super excited. I explained that it meant we could see Katie more often and she was sold.
Dale –
The kids overheard me talking to you when we were in the hotel room in PA. John asked me if you were my girlfriend, so I sat them down. I told Katie and John that it meant more play dates and a weekend at the Halloween festival.
That night was a breath of fresh air compared to the previous three nights. I could tell that Kelly had a hard time talking to me knowing that her ex-husband was just down the hall, so it was nice to hear her speak candidly once again.
By the time Tuesday rolled around, my need for Kelly was insatiable. I hadn't seen her in five days. The plan for tonight was to meet at Kelly's house after work on and catch up. Then, when it was time to leave for the PTA meeting, we would drive separately for appearances, but leave the kids at her place.
Since I was able to convince my regular babysitter to watch all four kids for an extra two dollars an hour, it made sense.
When Kelly opened the door to greet us on Tuesday evening, I didn't hesitate to kiss her hello, which surprisingly didn't bother the kids. There were obviously more important things going on in their minds than paying attention to our love life.
Thank God for big blessings. Maybe it was the fact that the kids were all so young?
My best friend Kevin was a divorcee with three girls over the age of 11, and they had an opinion about every single woman he dated. Unfortunately, his desire to please his surly adolescents was making it hard for him to have second dates. Even with the women he liked, it only took one negative comment from his girls, and his happy dating bubble would burst.
Settling the
kids at the table for grilled cheese and tomato soup, Kelly whispered in my ear, "Can you help me in the kitchen for a second?"
A wink from her mother signaled that she didn't mind chatting with the kids so that we could steal a moment alone.
As soon as I enter the kitchen, Kelly threw her arms around my neck and kissed me thoroughly.
Man, I needed this woman. Was it possible to sneak her into the laundry room with her mother in the other room? Probably not.
When she pulled away, a meek shyness came over Kelly. It was almost like she was shocked by her wanton behavior.
"What's wrong?" I asked, wrinkling my nose.
"I just wanted to kiss you properly before the PTA moms start their Parade of Singleness, but now I feel like I may have come across as a little needy."
Before she could ramble on further, I pulled her body tightly against mine and kissed her as thoroughly as I could, making sure to press my growing stiffness against her hip so that she knew that her advances were welcome.
"Never apologize for showing me affection. Affection is important in a relationship." Looking her in the eyes so that she knew the truth in my words, I only released her when I saw the relief wash over her and she relaxed in my arms. "Now tell me again about this Parade of Singleness," I demanded in jest while raising one eyebrow.
"You know, the single moms who will be getting all dolled up for you tonight? I was at Chipotle for lunch today and overheard a group of moms talking about the psychological cat fight that was going to be occurring tonight."
As she was telling me this, there was a palpable nervousness about her admission. I was sure hearing about the potential pursuit other women would be attempting tonight was part of it, but after hearing the underhandedness of her ex this weekend, I knew that the four days she was forced to spend with him had wheedled away at her confidence.
"Those women may think they have a chance, but my heart is already taken by you, Kelly," I said, before pressing another kiss to her forehead. "Now I think I just heard Candace's Vespa pull up outside. Let's check on the kids again and then we'll head out."
After Kelly and Joan gave Candace a quick lay of the land, all three of us departed in our different cars: Joan to a city council meeting, and Kelly and I towards the school.
When I arrived at the school, I made a quick stop at my office before walking toward the auditorium doors. As soon as I entered the room, my eyes scanned it for where Kelly might be sitting. Though every bone in my body wanted to claim the empty seat next to her, I was respectful of her need to make a few friends before all of Danville knew that we were an item. That is why, I made sure to sit as far away from her as possible, but still picked a location where I could sneak glances in her direction.
Apparently, being Kelly's secret boyfriend turned me into a teenage boy crushing on a girl in his chemistry class.
When the PTA meeting was adjourned, and we were all mingling in the cafeteria across from the auditorium, the "Parade of Singleness" as Kelly put it, came out in full force. Almost every eligible mom in the school suddenly wanted to flirt. Trying to be as polite as possible and without hurting feelings, I was thankful when Nate Alexander pulled me aside for a "chat" regarding his sons Hunter and Calvin.
"What can I do for you, Nate?" I asked, hoping that it was a complicated issue and that my look of seriousness would send out a giant LEAVE US ALONE to the circling vultures.
"Nothing Dale. It just looked like you needed a little rescuing."
Breathing a sigh of relief, I admitted, "Nate you're a lifesaver! Now I feel guilty for teasing you last year when you became the most eligible dad in the PTA. How did you handle it?" The desperation in the room was insane.
"Well, I didn't garner half of the attention you have, but then again, I'm a little chunkier than you," he said, patting his belly and laughing.
I was secure enough in my masculinity to admit that Nate was way more attractive than me, he just didn’t have a whole lot of confidence. Like Kelly, Nate had a spouse that liked to tear him down on a regular basis. She also liked to cheat like Maggie.
Even after a year of women flinging themselves at him, he still tended to be self-deprecating. It probably didn't help that he was holding a torch for Trish Samson, who made sure to make him feel invisible at every meeting.
Unfortunately, our private conversation was soon interrupted by the focus of his desires. Even though Trish was the worst of all the PTA scavengers, his eagerness for her attention meant he always welcomed her interruptions.
"Oh! I hope you don't mind if we steal you two gentlemen away for a few minutes? " Trish asked, pulling me towards Polly Wilcox, while Nate followed like a trained puppy.
"Hey, Dale! Hey Nate!" Polly said with genuine excitement. If she weren't Trish's best friend, Polly would be the perfect mom friend for Kelly.
"Hey, Polly!" Nate and I said in unison.
"I was just telling Polly that I'm having several of the parents over to my parents' cabin for a fall party this Sunday afternoon. You, gentlemen, are welcome to come," Trish said, while still holding onto my arm.
Who taught her about boundaries growing up? Because, whoever they were, had failed.
Gently easing my arm out of her claws without causing a scene, I used this opportunity to reach over to the drink table behind me and grab a soda, just as Kelly walked up to do the same.
Since Polly and Nate were currently engrossed in whatever Trish was spewing, I took an opportunity to speak quietly in Kelly's direction. "If we both can get out of here by 8:30 pm, maybe we can stop for some quiet time at my house for 30 minutes," I whispered before adding, "Candace said she could stay till 9:45 pm."
Luckily, Trish hadn't noticed my diverted attention, and after a quick nod of understanding with my Kelly, I was able to blend back into our small group without bringing attention to my absence.
Just as Kelly silently began to make her way towards the exit, Polly noticed her out of the corner of her eye.
"Oh. Hey, Kelly!" Polly said calling Kelly over from the drink table. "I'm so glad you could make it, I'd like you to meet some of the other parents." Then she grabbed Kelly gently by the elbow and guided her towards our circle. "This is my friend Nate Alexander; Dale Wilson, our principal; and of course, you already know Trish."
Shaking everyone's hand including mine for a show, Kelly greeted everyone warmly, "Nice to meet you."
"Kelly's new to Danville, and I promised I'd help her meet some of the other parents," Polly said beaming in Kelly's direction. "You know what, Kelly? You should come over to Trish's cabin this weekend for the booster's fall party. I'm sure Trish doesn't mind, do you, Trish?" Polly asked with the best intentions.
"Of course not," Trish added, before grabbing my bicep again as if laying claim.
I knew I should have moved closer to Polly!
"So, what brought you to Danville?" Nate asked companionably.
"Oh, I moved here for work earlier this year," she said, obviously not wanting to share her life story with strangers.
"I thought I overheard someone saying that you moved here to live with your mom after your divorce," Trish said in her bitchiest tone.
Wanting to ease my woman's discomfort without bringing attention to our relationship, I said, "Kelly, luckily you're in the perfect group for being divorced and living with your mom. Trish just moved in with her mom last year, and all of us are divorced."
At this point, Trish was in complete shock. I rarely spoke with the woman, but when I did, I normally tried to remain kind even though I had to continually remind myself that regardless of her nasty attitude, she was still the daughter of one of my parents' closest friends.
Fortunately for Trish, Polly was desperately trying to de-escalate the situation, while also trying to defuse Trish's nastiness. "Living with your family after a divorce is hard. I just moved out of my sister Tiffany's house last spring."
Not appreciating my attempt to rescue Kelly and wanting to salvage her delusional clai
m on me, Trish added, "Nate, maybe you can drive Kelly out to the cabin on Sunday since she's so new to our roads."
Before I could combust from within and scream, "MINE!!!" Kelly decided to take control of the obvious power play that Trish had just begun. "Though I appreciate both yours and Nate's hospitality, I won't be able to join you on Sunday. My boyfriend Fernando and I have plans."
To stop myself from grinning like a crazy person, I chose this moment to take a long, refreshing drink of my coke.
Breaking off into conversation with Polly for a few moments, Kelly thankfully missed Trish's next comment. "Well, I guess that makes sense."
Not understanding her train of thought I asked, "What makes sense?"
"That her boyfriend would be a Mexican. You know because they tend to be more forgiving of girls her size."
You racial profiling bitch! Is what my brain said, but my mouth said, "Trish, I happen to think that Kelly is one of the most beautiful women here, so I'm afraid I don't understand your reasoning." Thankfully having a father in politics had taught me a lot about handling unsavory people.
While Trish was busy moving her mouth like a goldfish, I decided it was time for me to go. "Well I'm afraid that it is already 8:25 pm and I need to head home. It has been a pleasure seeing you all, and I hope you guys have a great evening."
Still desperately trying to force herself into my sphere, Trish asked, "But you'll still be coming to my party Sunday, right? I thought maybe we could ride there a little early and set up together."
Making sure that everyone within earshot understood that I was not with Trish romantically, I said, using one of Kelly's tricks, "I'm sorry Trish, but my girlfriend Imogen and I have plans to take the kids out for ice cream that day."
And! Mic! Drop!
Chapter 41 – Kelly
I loved my man!
I'm not a spiteful person, but watching a sociopath like Trish Samson being knocked off of her high horse made me want to send flowers to karma.
If I knew someone named Karma, I would probably send her flowers right about now just out of my love for all things karmic.
