DE VERE
You heard him before. Even if we were to find the Great Carbuncle, he'd force us to leave in spite of it.
JOHN
You don't know that.
DE VERE
It's what he said, isn't it?
CACAPHODEL
You were aware? You seem to be completely healed. Amazing.
SEEKER
So does John here.
CHILLINGWORTH
It's impossible.
DE VERE
We...
DE VERE checks to make sure MATTHEW isn't listening.
DE VERE
We all know what we saw. A bright, crimson light followed closely by thunder. This is the Great Carbuncle. Do any of you disagree?
CHILLINGWORTH
It's impossible. The Great Carbuncle is a myth.
CACAPHODEL
Why don't we ask the expert? Seeker, was that it?
SEEKER
That was it.
CACAPHODEL
Did you happen to get a good look at it? Could you lead us to it?
SEEKER
Yeah. I know where it is. I know how to get there.
JOHN
We got to tell the Robins.
PIGGSNORTO
No, we don't.
JOHN
We have to!
ALL
Shh!
PIGGSNORTO grabs JOHN by the shirt.
PIGGSNORTO
You make him mad again, and I'll make a necklace out of your teeth. We can't trust a tasio like him. You saw how crazy he is. War's made him nuts. He'd take the stone and leave us to die.
CACAPHODEL
I don't know if I believe that, but...veterans typically do have a higher level of mental illness than most. He's unpredictable at best.
SEEKER
I'm not sharing.
Beat.
SEEKER
More than I have to. The fewer we have, the less we split up the goods.
PIGGSNORTO
Finally, we agree. What about you, doc?
CACAPHODEL
Other than his possibly irrational state of mind, I don't know if Matthew would leave Hannah behind to fend for herself, let alone take her with us. Perhaps it is best that we leave him behind.
SEEKER
Sure. We'll leave him a note saying that we're coming back for him.
DE VERE
Don't tell him of our destination.
SEEKER
I'll give him bad directions. He won't ever find us.
PIGGSNORTO
What about you, krasto? What do you say?
CHILLINGWORTH
I'll go.
PIGGSNORTO
Good.
DE VERE
Wait. Professor Chillingworth, you don't even believe the stone exists. Why would you go?
CHILLINGWORTH
To disprove it. That light and thunder must originate from some natural source. It has to be explained.
SEEKER
That doesn't make sense.
PIGGSNORTO
It don't have to. (To CHILLINGWORTH) You can come, but you're not telling the Robins. Agreed?
CHILLINGWORTH
Agreed.
SEEKER
And you, John?
JOHN
We should wake them up, but...
SEEKER
Don't worry. I'll come back for them later.
JOHN
We need to leave them some supplies.
PIGGSNORTO
They don't need it. If they stay put, they'll be fine without any food or extra blankets.
JOHN
Are you crazy? They'll starve.
CACAPHODEL
Not necessarily. As long as they don't over exert themselves, they'll be fine by the time we return.
PIGGSNORTO
You see?
Beat.
JOHN
Okay. I'm in.
DE VERE
Wonderful. Seeker, what do we do first?
PIGGSNORTO
I'll tell you what we do. Let's pack our stuff together, meet here in an hour, and then head off.
CACAPHODEL
In the dark?
PIGGSNORTO
No, not in the dark. With flashlights.
DE VERE
I have two specially made chrome Ash Flash Flashlights. We can share.
SEEKER
Good enough.
JOHN
Do the Robins still get a share of the Great Carbuncle?
ALL (except JOHN)
No.
CACAPHODEL
Then it's settled. We leave in an hour.
ALL nod and then slowly walking to THEIR tents offstage.
DE VERE
A pleasant night to you all. Professor?
CHILLINGWORTH silently exits with DE VERE.
PIGGSNORTO
We're gonna be rich. Dr. Cacaphodel, we're gonna be rich.
CACAPHODEL
It seems likely, doesn't it? Good night Seeker, John.
SEEKER
Night.
PIGGSNORTO and CACAPHODEL exit.
Beat.
SEEKER
I've been waiting for this for forty years. Forty years, and it's finally goin' to happen.
SEEKER and JOHN exit.
Beat.
MATTHEW enters, making sure ALL have gone to sleep.
MATTHEW
All it takes is a little muscle.
MATTHEW exits.
END ACT I, SCENE V
ACT BREAK
ACT II, SCENE I
It's morning. The clouds are as dismal as they were yesterday, and the temperature hasn't warmed up at all. The snow fell heavily overnight.
HANNAH and MATTHEW enter. THEY have a sort of glow about them. It's as if they found the perfect way to deal with a stressful situation.
MATTHEW breathes in deeply.
MATTHEW
Smells fresh.
HANNAH
Smells like ice.
MATTHEW
You can't smell ice.
HANNAH
I can too. Your mother has an icemaker in the fridge, and I smell it every time I visit.
MATTHEW
And what does ice smell like?
HANNAH
Fresh.
MATTHEW
I can't argue with that.
HANNAH
Are we the first ones up?
MATTHEW
Don't know. Looks like it.
HANNAH
I'll go wake them up.
MATTHEW
Just...wait a moment. Let me enjoy this.
HANNAH
Okay.
Beat.
HANNAH
Looks like we won't be rich after all. Didn't even get a chance to look for the Great Carbuncle.
MATTHEW
Nope. We'll have to keep living as normal folk, but we'll live.
HANNAH
I just wish we could have found it. There are so many things I want for us. So many things we need.
MATTHEW
Like what?
HANNAH
A dependable car, good dishes, a sewing machine...a house we actually own.
MATTHEW
We'll get those things. Sooner or later.
HANNAH
I know. Sooner would have been nicer.
MATTHEW
Yeah.
HANNAH
We need to wake everyone up.
MATTHEW
Really? Can't we stay like this a little longer?
HANNAH
Matthew, I want to, I do, but I also want a hot bath and a real bed to sleep on.
MATTHEW
And eat a home-cooked meal.
HANNAH
And I'll cook it for you.
MATTHEW
Then what the hell are we waiting for? Let's wake their asses up!
HANNAH
Matthew, language!
>
MATTHEW
You know you like it.
HANNAH
Wait.
MATTHEW
What?
HANNAH gets her camera out and points it at MATTHEW.
MATTHEW
I thought it was out of film.
HANNAH
I have enough for a few seconds. I want something to remember this moment forever.
HANNAH puts the camera on the ground where it's pointing up at both of THEM. SHE then kisses MATTHEW and holds him. SHE then gets the camera and turns it off.
HANNAH
Now we can wake everyone up.
HANNAH and MATTHEW exit.
MATTHEW (OS)
No one in this tent.
HANNAH (OS)
No one here.
MATTHEW enters.
MATTHEW
Where would they be? Hannah?
HANNAH enters, reading a note.
MATTHEW
Where'd you get that?
HANNAH
In John and Seeker's tent.
MATTHEW
What's it say?
HANNAH reads it for a little more, then all HER morning bliss washes away in anger.
HANNAH
They left.
MATTHEW
They left? Where to?
HANNAH hands over the note to MATTHEW.
HANNAH
They left us here? In the cold? Without any food? Without any idea where we are?
MATTHEW
Those bastards! They're looking for the Great Carbuncle?
HANNAH
Last night, when I thought I saw red light, what did you see?
MATTHEW
I was seeing red long before that.
HANNAH
But I saw...no, I don't want to believe it.
MATTHEW
So we're on our own.
HANNAH
I saw red light. I swear I did! I heard the thunder too, but I thought it was another fight.
MATTHEW
I told you they weren't fighting. I would have beat them silly if they were. Now, I'm going to kill them!
HANNAH
They left without us!
MATTHEW
When I get my hands on them, I'm going to squeeze till their heads pop!
MATTHEW rips the note into pieces.
HANNAH
We had a pact. We all said we'd share the Great Carbuncle if we found it. They said they would!
MATTHEW
Worthless, good-for-nothing sons of--
HANNAH
We're finding them.
MATTHEW
Yeah, as soon as I get home, I'm rounding up all my cousins, and we're going to kill those--
HANNAH
We're finding them now!
MATTHEW
What?
HANNAH
Get our stuff together.
MATTHEW
Hannah, there's no reason to follow them now. We need to go home first. Who knows how bad this storm will get? We'll get them back later.
HANNAH
And if they find the Great Carbuncle? If they get rich and we stay poor all our lives? We'll be living in our little shack out in the sticks, and they'll be laughing it up in their castles.
MATTHEW
It might not even really exist. You ever think of that?
HANNAH
Then where'd the thunder and lightning come from? Hmm? You explain it.
MATTHEW
I can't, but it's safer to cut our losses now and--
HANNAH
We're getting our fair share, Matthew!
MATTHEW
They took the food, Hannah! We could starve!
HANNAH
You don't care if we live poor the rest of our lives, but I do! I'm not letting them get away with this.
MATTHEW
Hannah, calm down!
HANNAH
Matthew, we need this. Our honeymoon's ruined, you don't have a real job yet, we keep borrowing from your ma and pa, and...we need to be our own family. I love your folks, I do, but I don't want to live off them anymore. If we find this gem, then we can have all we ever wanted.
MATTHEW
I have all I ever wanted.
HANNAH
Matthew...please. We can have furniture, new clothes, appliances, a better truck. When we have kids someday, don't you want to be the dad who gave them everything he could? And didn’t have to go back in the Army to do it? Please.
Beat.
MATTHEW
Okay. We'll do it.
HANNAH
We will?
MATTHEW
Yeah. You're right. We can't live off my folks forever. Even if I start working soon, my paycheck won't cover all the bills. I'd really like to be able to live in our own little house all alone.
HANNAH
With the Great Carbuncle, we can buy a mansion!
MATTHEW
We can buy the White House if you want, so long as you're there sharing the same bed as me.
HANNAH kisses MATTHEW, then SHE exits.
HANNAH (OS)
Hurry up and help me pack!
MATTHEW
You know, they have a head start on us. How you figuring we'll catch up to them?
HANNAH enters.
HANNAH
We'll just have to move fast. They got the doctors with them, how far could they be? I'll pick up the pace. I promise.
HANNAH exits.
MATTHEW
Doesn't sound safe with this ice and all.
HANNAH (OS)
We'll be safe. Help me pack.
MATTHEW
(to HIMSELF) Like my mother used to say, One bird in the hand don't mean nothing when you got two birds in the bushes just waiting for you...and a few jackasses to kill.
HANNAH
Huh?
MATTHEW
I'm coming.
MATTHEW exits.
END ACT II, SCENE I
ACT II, SCENE II
The weather continues to get worse. The clouds have become so thick that they're blocking almost all the morning sunlight, and the temperature remains to be freezing as a blanket of snow covers the landscape. DE VERE and PIGGSNORTO are still using the flashlights. The area is up high on a cliff.
SEEKER (OS)
I swear, the only people more annoyin' than preachers are know-it-alls. I said I know where I'm goin'.
SEEKER enters, followed by PIGGSNORTO, JOHN, CACAPHODEL, CHILLINGWORTH, and DE VERE.
DE VERE
I believe that you believe that, but we've been hiking for some time and with no results.
CACAPHODEL
I would assume that we'd see the Great Carbuncle's glow again if we were as close as you say, Seeker. Perhaps we took a wrong turn?
SEEKER
We didn't take no wrong turn. I saw it shine down from over here.
PIGGSNORTO
Hey, doc. There's no sun here. Maybe it's gotta have the sun to work its magic.
CHILLINGWORTH
Many historical reports suggest that the crystal shines its brightest during winter storms. However, they are stories and tall tales.
DE VERE
Then shouldn't we see it by now?
JOHN
It's karma.
PIGGSNORTO
What?
JOHN
We didn't tell the Robins, so now we don't get the stone.
CHILLINGWORTH
Assuming that I could ever believe in such a thing as this mythic stone, I could never believe that it chooses when to shine and when not to due to a moral issue.
SEEKER
It should be here! What the hell?
CACAPHODEL
We should scan the area to see if it is simply out of sight.
DE VERE
Yes. Capital idea. Let's all separate and search for the gem individually. Of course, I get to keep my flashlight, and one of---
PIGGSNORTO
So you can run off when you find it? How don't I know you're just pulling a trick on us?
DE VERE
Are you accusing me, a Lord, of treachery?
PIGGSNORTO
I'm saying you, a mezza fanook, would steal it as soon as you got a chance.
JOHN
Hey, don't fight. No one wins when you--
PIGGSNORTO
Shaddup! (to DE VERE) You say something stupid like that again, I'll make you eat my fist. Capish?
A red glow from the Great Carbuncle offstage increases as the travelers fight.
DE VERE
You can try it if you wish. I will no longer allow myself to be bullied by such a prat as yourself.
PIGGSNORTO
You're such a moo-shadda! You think you can take me on?
DE VERE
I'd take it as an act of duty to put down a beefer such as you!
PIGGSNORTO
Why you...come here!
PIGGSNORTO grabs DE VERE by the shirt and prepares to hit HIM with the flashlight.
DE VERE
Get your hands off of me, you wanker!
JOHN and SEEKER grabs PIGGSNORTO and keeps HIM from releasing the hit. CACAPHODEL quickly moves out of the way. CHILLINGWORTH simply observes.
SEEKER
What the hell are you doing?
JOHN
This isn't the way!
PIGGSNORTO
Just one swing. Gimme one swing!
DE VERE
I'll give you your one swing and ten more after it!
As the glow finally becomes too bright to ignore, ALL stop what THEY were doing and stare at the Great Carbuncle offstage.
CACAPHODEL
Is that...could it be?
SEEKER
That's it. The Great Carbuncle.
Beat.
DE VERE
It's magnificent.
PIGGSNORTO pushes DE VERE.
PIGGSNORTO
Go get it.
DE VERE
Me? Why me? Why not you?
PIGGSNORTO
I told you to get it.
DE VERE
Aren't you afraid I'll steal it?
CHILLINGWORTH
(to HIMSELF) Impossible. It shouldn't exist.
PIGGSNORTO pushes JOHN.
PIGGSNORTO
You get it.
JOHN
No way. It might turn me into a pile of salt or something.
CACAPHODEL
Seeker, would you do the honors? You've been looking for it the longest. You deserve this moment much more than we do. Besides, you have a bag prepared for this special event, don't you?
SEEKER
Yeah. Yeah, I'll go get it.
SEEKER exits. The red light fades away, and SEEKER returns with the Great Carbuncle in the bag.
SEEKER
Got it.
PIGGSNORTO
Let me get a good look.
JOHN
Yeah. Let us see it up close.
SEEKER
Sure.
SEEKER opens the bag. ALL crowd around him.
JOHN
It's not glowing anymore, but it's...more beautiful than dreams.
DE VERE
My, my. It's still hot!
CACAPHODEL
I've never seen a specimen quite like it. Ever.
CHILLINGWORTH
It can't be. It shouldn't exist.
SEEKER
It does, professor, and it's amazin'.
PIGGSNORTO
Let me hold it.
PIGGSNORTO grabs for the bag, but SEEKER ties the bag closed. As the group argues, the red light slowly returns.
SEEKER
No! This is mine! None of you get it. I've been in these mountains my whole life. I'm not givin' this to nobody!
PIGGSNORTO
You'll give it to me, or I'll mess you up so bad, your mother won't know who you are.
JOHN
Yeah, Seeker. We all found it. Share it with the rest of us.
DE VERE
Indeed. We all have an interest in that crystal. It should be given to the one who knows how to benefit the most from it.
CACAPHODEL
Then I suggest it be handed over to me, as I am the only scientist and the only qualified individual to use it properly.
DE VERE
Hardly! You'd break it into a thousand pieces for your experiments.
PIGGSNORTO
It's worth more as a whole diamond than half of one. I'll take it to my boys and get a fair price for it.
CHILLINGWORTH
Are you all insane? It's not the genuine item. It never existed! We have to take this convincing anomaly to a college and have its authenticity tested. It might not even be of value.
PIGGSNORTO
I deal with diamonds as a career, and I'm saying this is worth something.
CHILLINGWORTH
No offense, but I'd feel more comfortable letting someone with a degree in geology confirm what I already suspect.
CACAPHODEL
I know many. I should be the one to authenticate the Great Carbuncle.
JOHN
This isn't like any other stone we found in the dirt. It's a gift from Mother Earth. We should keep it to ourselves. We--
SEEKER tries to run away, but PIGGSNORTO catches and throws HIM on the ground, near the cliff.
PIGGSNORTO
You stay there till the men are finished talking.
DE VERE
It should be placed in my family's treasury where it rightfully belongs.
CACAPHODEL
It rightfully belongs in a scientific lab, not in a dusty, closet surrounded by worthless heirlooms.
DE VERE
Don't you dare insult my family fortune, I--
CHILLINGWORTH
What fortune? It's obvious that you are on this trip out of necessity, not convenience. I doubt your family still owns an estate.
PIGGSNORTO
No more talking! I'm taking the stone, and I'll kill anyone who keeps me from it.
CACAPHODEL
You'll kill all of us? Are you capable of it?
PIGGSNORTO
You have no idea what I can do.
SEEKER
None of you are getting it!
SEEKER ties the bag’s slack rope around HIS hand and tries to run away again, but ALL get a hold of HIM and push him back. As THEY keep back SEEKER, they try to take it away from one another.
PIGGSNORTO
Give it up!
CACAPHODEL
I need to share it with the world!
DE VERE
It belongs with me!
SEEKER
It's mine, it's mine, it's--
SEEKER is pushed over the cliff. HE screams all the way down, until HE can't be heard anymore. The red light slowly fades away.
Beat.
DE VERE
Did you see where he fell?
PIGGSNORTO
No.
DE VERE
Did you see where the Great Carbuncle fell?
PIGGSNORTO
No.
Beat.
CACAPHODEL
If I remember correctly, there is a river directly below us. He most likely fell in it.
JOHN
With the crystal?
CACAPHODEL
Most likely.
PIGGSNORTO
How deep is the river?
CACAPHODEL
Too deep.
The Great Carbuncle Page 7
