Poor Bill. Even though she was a bit pissed that he’d run straight to her mother over her quitting the counseling sessions, she couldn’t really hate him for it. He’d been reeling since she’d asked for a divorce, and he had yet to recover. She didn’t think it was because he was heartbroken as much as he was struggling to adjust to the change in his life. He couldn’t fathom why she was suddenly not content to be his wife. She’d been truthful when she’d told him the day she left him that they both needed to be free to find what they were looking for. When he did finally move on, she sincerely hoped he would meet the one for him—because it wasn’t her. That had never been clearer to her than it was now. After being with Mark, she couldn’t go back to settling again for less than what she needed. She knew what true passion, desire, and—God help her—love felt like. It was a fire that consumed you. It took your very worst parts and made them into something new—better than you had ever been before. The fire burned so brightly, you wondered if you’d survive the flames. And rolled up within all of those exhilarating feelings was the counterbalance of peace. Just a feeling of knowing that you’d found the ultimate connection. The one that would spin you higher than you’d ever been before and then be waiting to catch you as you came down.
With these thoughts racing through her head, Crystal pushed the cover back and slid from Mark’s bed. Even at her worst moments, she’d never been the type to hide away from the world, and this wasn’t the time to start. She quickly splashed some water on her face in the bathroom before running a brush through her hair. Then she went in search of Mark.
She had almost given up and was going to get her phone to call him when she noticed someone sitting on the back deck facing the beach. She halted and turned that way, silently opening the door and walking barefoot across the warm wood to where he was seated. She ran a hand over his shoulder, letting him know she was there, before saying softly, “I was wondering where you were. I couldn’t find you.”
He reached back, capturing her fingers in his and pulling her around to sit on his lap. She cuddled closer to him, and for a while, they were content to watch the waves crash against the shore. In the distance, she could see people on the sand enjoying the warm day, but strangely enough, it still seemed as if they were in their own private world. “Feeling better, Angel?” he finally asked against her ear, causing her to shiver.
“Yeah, I’m good.” She smiled. “Nothing an hour in the DeStudo bed couldn’t take care of.”
He snorted, squeezing her lightly before relaxing his grip. Then he began speaking and by the end of what he had to say, she realized that she’d never really known what true fear was until that moment. “My parents weren’t that different from the ones that my friends had growing up. They weren’t like the ones on television shows, but they were all I knew, so I adjusted to their quirks pretty early on in life. Then I started spending a lot of time with Denny, and things were different at his house. He had a mother who did all of her own cooking and cleaning. Plus, she actually enjoyed having us around. His father was quiet and worked long hours at the auto shop he owned, but he was never too tired to toss around a baseball or spend time teasing us about some girl we liked. The funny thing, as we got older, I liked staying at Denny’s because his parents cared, even though it came with rules, and he liked staying at my house because mine didn’t give a damn where we went or how late we stayed out. I could have a party most anytime I wanted to because they either weren’t around or didn’t care if we used the pool house.”
“So each of you wanted what the other had?” Crystal asked when Mark paused to gather his thoughts.
“Yes, for a while, that was exactly it. Then, as my father started to drink more and more and the arguments between him and I ramped up, Denny gained a new appreciation for what he had at home. By the time we were eighteen, he avoided my house about as much as I did. That saying that you need to be a drunk to live with one is very true. Other than my mother, no one wanted to be around my dad when he was intoxicated. I’ve even blamed her through the years, thinking if she’d just get fed up enough to force him to get help, maybe he would change—or at least want to. But she’s always been right there, his enabler. I guess I should admire her unconditional love, but who is that helping? It’s certainly not good for him, and I can’t see how it can be for her either.”
“She seemed as if she wasn’t happy about it earlier,” Crystal pointed out. “She forced him to leave when he clearly wasn’t ready to.”
Mark nodded. “That was unusual. It did prove what I’ve long believed. She could so easily bend him to her will if only she would try. But I dare not hope that today was anything more than a momentary lapse in patience on her part. Celine has always been a permanent fixture in Team Marcus’s camp, and I don’t see that changing.”
“I’m sorry, honey,” Crystal stated honestly. Her heart broke for him. She, better than anyone, understood the kind of pain dealing with a foul parent could bring, and the fact that his father was also an alcoholic brought a whole different element to the equation for him. It made her shudder to think of how bad her own mother might be if she were drinking as well. The term hell on wheels would certainly apply.
He fitted his hand to hers before weaving their fingers together. He watched the act as if fascinated by it. “My father has been angry with me for years because my grandfather left his company in my hands. It wasn’t because he loved me more, it was simply because he didn’t want to see the family fortune or reputation go down the toilet because my father couldn’t stay away from booze. Since then, my father goes to the main headquarters every so often and makes an ass out of himself until he has my attention. It makes him feel powerful to jerk my chain because he knows I’ll come to save my employees from dealing with him. It’s been the same for so long that it’s almost part of my regular routine now. I’ll go to Charleston, pretend we’re one big happy family, and then I’ll have a short reprieve before we do it all over again. It’s my life, Angel, just as your mother’s behavior is in yours.”
“I know,” she agreed. “And you’re right; it does become somewhat routine after a while. It doesn’t mean that it’s any easier to deal with, though, does it?”
“No, baby, it doesn’t,” he sighed. “Which is why I can’t do this to you anymore. I saw what it did to you last night to have your mother say those things to you. Then you had but a few hours to recover before my parents were in your face saying even worse. I would have had to be blind this morning not to have noticed how much that hurt you. I may be able to shrug off the ugliness and go on, but I can’t ask or expect you to do the same.”
In a voice thick with panic, she croaked, “Mark, what are you saying?”
Instead of shying away, he faced her fully. His eyes were sad, but there was also a determination there that scared her to death. “You’re such a beautiful person, Angel—both inside and out. And I feel more for you than I could have ever imagined. If I didn’t, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But I do, and I can’t let someone who I care so much for suffer because of me. And that’s what it would be. I can threaten and lay down the law at every turn with my parents, but eventually they’ll manage to get you alone and unload some more vile accusations on you. With me, you’ll never get away from that. You’ll bounce back and forth from one bad situation to another. Eventually, you’ll grow to hate me for doing that to you, and that would kill me, baby.”
With tears rolling down her cheeks, she cupped his face as she shook her head. “No—baby, no. I could never hate you. God, I—I love you. I would deal with anything as long as we’re together. Please . . .”
He put his hands up, rubbing the tears from her face with his thumbs, only to repeat it again as they continued to fall. “Shhh, Angel, don’t you see it’s because I love you that I’m doing this? Baby, parts of my life are ugly, and they’re not going anywhere. One of the things that I love so much about you is that you’ve always seemed so bright I could have sworn you were lit from with
in. But after my parents left this morning, that light was so dim that it was almost nonexistent. And I won’t be the one to extinguish it forever.”
“Mark,” she cried, “you don’t have to do this. I can be stronger. They just surprised me today. I promise you, I’ll be okay. Just—”
“But you shouldn’t have to be,” he interrupted. “That’s the point here, baby. They’ll always catch you by surprise because you can’t and shouldn’t have to plan to be attacked.” Before she could argue, he lowered his head and locked his lips on her. Even as she responded to the frantic touch of his mouth, she knew it for what it was—good-bye. He was sitting here with her after professing his love, but he was already gone. Men like Mark didn’t make decisions lightly, and he’d decided to sacrifice his happiness, thinking he was saving her own.
He got to his feet and lowered her back into the chair. “Denny’s here to take you home. He’ll have your car delivered later. He’ll give you his card so that you can call him if you need anything at all.” Then he drove the final arrow into her heart. “Take care of yourself, Crystal.”
I’m no longer “Angel” to him. He’s letting me go.
She reached out and grabbed his hand before he could walk away. “Don’t do this to me—to us,” she begged, as she tossed her pride aside.
For a brief moment, she saw past his blank expression to the pain that blazed from his eyes. He cupped the side of her face, stroking her cheek. “Can’t you see, baby? I have no choice. This is hurting me too, but it’s better this way. I’m giving you a future of happiness and laughter instead of a life spent looking over your shoulder.” When she opened her mouth to protest, he put a finger to her lips, silencing her. “Don’t, Angel—this is hard enough already. Please just go with Denny.”
“I love you,” she whispered as he pulled his hand away. He closed his eyes and looked unsteady on his feet as he walked away.
Crystal was dimly aware of Denny showing up at some point and helping her into the car. He cursed under his breath, and she had no idea if it was directed at her or Mark, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care either way.
As she walked numbly down the hallway toward her apartment with Denny keeping a firm hand on her back, she was surprised to see her sister standing in front of her door, looking at her in concern. “Mark called me,” Ella answered her unspoken question as she got closer.
Crystal winced before focusing on finding her key in her purse. Ella took it from her hand and opened the door. Denny followed them inside and insisted on doing a walk-through of the apartment before coming back to her with a card in his hand. The look of sympathy on his face was almost her undoing. “I don’t need that, Denny. I’ll be fine,” she insisted as he tried to give her his contact information.
He put his hands on her arms, pulling her gently against his chest. “I know you will,” he murmured, “but humor me anyway. One night you might need someone to buy you a beer while you talk about what a dumbass my cousin is.”
Crystal laughed weakly despite herself. “What are you doing right now?”
He chuckled along with her, not appearing in any hurry to leave. When she finally pulled away, she was mortified to realize that she’d been crying hard enough to soak the front of his shirt. “Crap,” she hissed, wiping her cheeks. “Don’t you dare tell him about this,” she threatened. “If he asks, say that I was fine when you left.”
“You got it.” He nodded. “I’ll be the person that you both lie to about how not miserable you are without each other.”
Her sorrow turned to anger as she put her hands on her hips and glared. “This wasn’t what I wanted, Denny. I pretty much begged him not to walk away from me.”
“I know, Crystal,” he agreed solemnly. “It was a rather unexpected time for Mark to be so damn noble. But, in his defense, he’s doing what he feels is best for you. And I’ve been around the DeSantos long enough to know how ugly things can get. For the record, though, I don’t agree with him, and he knows that. He’s been happier since meeting you than I’ve ever seen him, and I think that scares him.”
“Why would he possibly be afraid of me?” Crystal asked in frustration.
Denny looked conflicted for a moment as if afraid of betraying Mark by talking to her. Finally, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You got past the public Mark to the private one, and he doesn’t let that happen. He has many acquaintances, but no one close. He let you in, though, and discovered how good love could be with someone more than a one-night stand. Then the whole scene happened with his parents this morning, and it hit him hard how it would feel to get even more attached and then lose you. Which he feels like is inevitable due to the fact that they’ll always be crazy and ride his ass at every opportunity.”
“I swear. What is it with you men and this honorable, do-the-right-thing crap?” Ella shouted, shocking them both. “Declan was the same way, and it took me getting hit by a car to bring him to his senses. For God’s sake, if not for being scraped off a bumper, I might still be single!”
“Um—Ells . . . are you okay over there?” Crystal asked tentatively. A glance at Denny showed him opening and closing his mouth as if unsure whether to speak or not.
“Of course,” Ella sniffed. “I’m just tired of the Webber sisters having to deal with this bullshit. I’m telling you, though, if I didn’t like Declan’s guy part so much, I’d go home and cut the sucker off just for putting me through this.”
“Is this some kind of weird flashback?” Denny whispered.
“It may not be safe for you to be here, since you have a penis,” she whispered back. “You’d better leave while you can.”
She saw his hand drop down for a moment and wondered if he’d cupped the family jewels out of fear. “So, I should run along now,” he began as he edged toward the door. “I’m going to leave my card right here, Crystal,” he added as he laid a white rectangle on the coffee table. “Call me if you need anything at all.”
“Thanks, Denny,” Crystal called out as he opened the door to leave.
Looking from Ella to her, he cringed, saying, “Um, good luck with all of this,” before closing the door behind him.
“Damn, I thought I’d have to go after him with a pair of scissors next,” Ella huffed. “Talk about not getting the message.”
Crystal stared at her sister incredulously. “Are you saying that whole thing was an act to get rid of Denny?”
“Well, duh,” Ella snorted. “Although I was serious about men being stupid. Don’t think I haven’t pointed that out to my hubby a few times either. He agrees that he was out of his ever-loving mind back then to consider walking away from me.”
Looking at her normally sweet sister in amazement, Crystal said, “You’re just a little scary sometimes, Ells. And possibly a bit nuts. But I like it, and I sure needed it today.”
Ella closed the distance between them, pulling her into a hug. “I’m so sorry, Crys. If it makes you feel any better, Mark sounded miserable when I talked to him.”
“I’m glad you’re here, but I have no idea why he called you,” Crystal admitted.
Ella kept an arm around her as they walked to the sofa and then collapsed onto it. “He told me briefly that you two had broken up and that he was worried about you. He asked if I could come here and stay with you. So of course, I told Declan to watch Sofia and came right over.” Pushing a piece of hair from Crystal’s face in a motherly gesture, Ella asked, “What happened, Crys?”
Crystal repeated everything that had occurred that morning before, during, and after Mark’s parents’ visit. She was proud that she managed to get through it without choking on another wave of tears. “So, I guess, points to our mother for starting the downward spiral of my weekend and also planting the seeds in Mark’s head that I couldn’t handle any more drama in my life.”
“Crap.” Ella dropped her head back onto the sofa. They both had stared at the ceiling for a few moments before Ella said, “I don’t think he’s right in his decision
, but I can understand him trying to protect you. I mean, what you described about the way his parents treated you sounds even worse than Mom. I can’t imagine how it would feel to have three people in my life who were always gunning for me. Look at how you and I text and call each other when Mom is on one of her rolls. Sometimes we spend hours a week trying to coordinate our efforts to avoid her until she calms down. How draining would it be to add two more people to that kind of toxic mix?”
“Trust me, Ells, I get that part,” she sighed. “Is it wrong that I wished he’d loved me enough to at least attempt to look for another answer other than walking away? I mean, we didn’t even try. He just made the decision and sent me on my way.”
“I wasn’t kidding when I said that Mark sounded bad when I talked to him. He might have thought he didn’t have any other choice, but he’s suffering as well.”
“Good.” Crystal smiled weakly before closing her eyes and resting against her sister’s shoulder. She was no happier about Mark’s misery than she was her own. She wasn’t sure what the answer was or even if there was one. The only thing she did know was that she was going to have to be stronger than she ever had before; otherwise, losing him would destroy her.
Chapter Twenty-one
“So, we’re back to running away again, huh?” Denny asked as he settled next to Mark on the company plane. “Plus, I know you’ve been dodging me for the last week.”
“How would that even be possible?” Mark asked out of curiosity, even though it was true. He had been avoiding being alone with the other man since his breakup with Crystal on Sunday.
The One For Me (Danver #8) Page 21
