by Ruby Moone
Jared was speechless.
“Hello.” The man’s voice was gravelly. There was an underlying huskiness to it that feathered across Jared’s senses, making him shiver.
“Hello?” Jared’s voice was barely a whisper.
“Thank you.”
“Um…my pleasure…what just happened?” Jared’s head was whirling but his manners remained intact. His dog had just turned into a man. A man. At the stroke of the clock, he turned into a man. A naked man. Jared tried to keep his eyes on the man’s face.
“You released me from a curse.”
“A curse. Of course. Yes. A curse…What curse?”
The man took a step forward, holding out a hand. “Black. Wesley Black.”
Jared took the hand and shook it, manners still in place.
“Templeton. Jared Templeton.”
“I owe you a debt of gratitude,” Wesley Black said, moving closer, his green gaze roaming over every inch of Jared.
Jared backed away. “Um, really. Um…. Ah…” He was shaking his head and he could feel a tremor begin in his stomach. Still desperately trying to work out what had happened, Jared felt his head swim and had he been a fainting type, no doubt he would have keeled over.
“Please don’t be afraid,” Wesley Black said, head on one side like the dog had done. The expression in his green eyes was curiously familiar.
“What happened to my dog?” Jared said, his voice low. His heart was pounding now. “What did you do to my dog?”
“Well…I was cursed, you see. Cursed to remain in animal form.”
“Remain?”
Wesley Black scratched the back of his head. “Well,” he paused and looked at Jared and grimaced. “This is hard to explain, but…well…I am a shifter,” he said, as though that explained everything. I can change form as you just saw. Normally, I can change back and forth at will, but I was cursed to remain in dog form almost three months ago. To break the curse, I had to find…” He seemed to bite off the word he was going to use. “Someone,” he added cautiously, as though testing the word for size.
“Someone?”
The man nodded, all the time watching Jared carefully. “I had to find someone on a full moon that fell on Christmas Day. The bells have rung, it’s Christmas Day, and tonight there is a full moon. Had I not found you, I would have had to wait almost twenty years to try again.”
“Twenty years?”
The man nodded. “Until the next time the full moon occurs on Christmas Day.”
“Of course. I see.” Jared blinked and tried to think of something to say. “Why me? Why did you seek me out? Couldn’t you have sought anyone else?” he said, baffled beyond belief. “And who cursed you? What did you do? How does one even become cursed?”
The man hesitated, and then moved closer. Only the chair separated them. Jared clung to it.
“Well,” he began, then scratched his head. “Well, the person who cursed me was someone…unpleasant.” He nodded a couple of times as though pleased with the word and the explanation. “Yes. Unpleasant. And no, it couldn’t be just anyone.”
Jared waited and then shrugged, raising his eyebrows. “So it had to be me?”
The man stared into Jared’s eyes for a long time making his heart race and his skin prickle. The linen of his nightshirt brushing his skin felt almost too much.
“I had to find someone who would…love me.”
Silence beat between them.
“Love you?” Jared repeated, feeling heat creep up his neck.
The man nodded and lifted his chin. A muscle ticked along his jaw. “Someone who would love me, and…someone who could be my mate.”
The words bounced around Jared’s head.
“Let me find you something to wear,” Jared said, changing the subject. He couldn’t take any more. He turned away from the sight of all that muscled, naked skin, dark smatterings of hair and—Jared swallowed—erect flesh. Jared closed his eyes and tried not to focus on anything below the man’s waist. He fumbled in a cupboard and brought out a clean nightshirt and dressing gown.
“Here.” He averted his eyes and handed it to him.
Wesley Black’s face tightened as he looked at the garments and frowned. Then, his shoulders drooped along with another part of his anatomy. He took the nightshirt and gown, that intelligent green gaze searching Jared’s for a moment as he did so, and Jared began to feel ridiculously guilty that his response had somehow been…lacking. Why the hell he should feel guilty, the Lord alone knew. And what in the Lord’s name was all this nonsense about mates? What should his response have been?
“What is it?” he was forced to ask as Wesley Black stood holding the clothing.
“You’re disappointed in me,” Wesley Black said softly, accusing, and definitely shocked.
That took Jared by surprise. “Disappointed in you? I’m not disappointed! I’m…I’m astounded, shocked, terrified even. How can I be disappointed? I had no expectation.”
Wesley Black put the garments onto the bed. His member that had been joyously bobbing about was now soft and long. It looked as defeated as he felt.
“Oh, Christ,” Jared whispered, a hand going to his mouth. His heart sped up in his chest as an awful realisation struck him forcibly. It was like a punch to the chest.
“Oh Christ!” The words came out as a moan as the reality of what he had done sank in.
“I talked to you.” He clutched at his hair. “Did you understand what I said?” he said, staring wildly at Wesley Black. “When you were a dog, did you understand what I was saying?” His voice became increasingly high pitched. Please say no, please say no. Jared felt ill. He had spilled his soul to the dog, emptied his heart and felt comforted, and…. Oh Christ, he had even told the dog his darkest, most shameful secret, and now that dog was a man…Oh Christ! Jared felt sick. He had told him secrets about the Department. Told him about Matthew.
He could barely breathe.
“What?” Wesley Black looked up at him. Suspicion in those green eyes.
“You heard me, didn’t you? You heard everything that I said. You understood me.” Jared’s voice was a horrified whisper.
“I could understand what you were saying, if that’s what you mean.” Wesley Black was regarding him oddly.
Jared’s knees gave way. He sank into the chair by the fire, hand over his heart, mouth dry. He closed his eyes. “What do you want from me?”
He felt Wesley Black move closer. “Anything you wish to give me.” His voice was soft. Low.
Jared opened his eyes and stared sightlessly into the fire. “I see.” He mentally calculated how much he could give the man to buy his silence.
“Very well. Once the bank opens I will make whatever transaction you want.” There was too much at stake to argue. His life, his reputation, to say nothing of the secrets that, if told, could destroy his country. It was too much to bear.
“Pardon me?” Wesley Black was frowning.
“You will have everything I can give you.” Jared steeled himself and looked him in the eye.
Wesley Black’s jaws were clamped tight, and that muscle ticked along his jaw again. He looked angry. “I’m sorry I’m not more.” The words seemed to be dragged from him.
“More?” It was Jared’s turn to look puzzled.
Wesley nodded, a jerky movement. “I’m not an alpha.” He sat on the bed and fingered the linen of the nightshirt that sat beside him. “I thought…I thought…” He sighed and the anger left him. “Never mind. What do you need to go to the bank for? What do you have there that you can give me? I don’t understand.” He looked up and gave him a lopsided smile. “Is that where you keep your heart?”
Jared frowned.
Wesley Black sighed and spoke carefully. “You already gave me everything. I can’t have misunderstood, or the spell would be intact. You must have loved me for a moment.” He seemed to droop even further. “It was only when you saw me like this that you stopped.”
Jared’s head was spinni
ng. Wesley Black stood up and came over to where Jared sat in his chair. He knelt beside him and took hold of his hand and kissed the back of it. His eyes squeezed tight as he pressed his lips to Jared’s skin, and his eyelashes were wet when he lifted his head.
“I owe you my life, and I thank you for it.” His voice was a whisper. “I’ll leave you now.” He rubbed his thumb over the spot that he had kissed, and then looked longingly at Jared’s mouth for a moment before making a soft, pained sound and, where Wesley Black had knelt, there was the dog.
The dog looked at him for a long, intense moment and then turned and walked to the door. His bushy tail that he usually carried like a flag was lowered.
“Wait!” Jared jumped to his feet. He couldn’t bear it a moment longer. He had no idea what the man was talking about, no idea how a man could slide from human to dog—he was sure there was something in all the terrifying science lectures he had heard recently that would explain it—but there was nothing in his understanding that could give him even the tiniest hold on it. All he knew was that he loved his dog. He knelt and held out his arms, and after a moment, the dog trotted back to him and sat before him, head on one side. Jared moved closer, and then wrapped his arms around him and closed his eyes.
“I will miss you,” he whispered. The dog whimpered and licked his face. Jared smoothed his ears, and the dog pulled away and ran from the room, leaving Jared so utterly bewildered he didn’t know which way to turn.
* * * *
Two days later, morning dawned crisp and cold, and Jared was still alone with an aching heart. The days and nights since Wesley Black had appeared and then disappeared from his life had been spent piecing together the conversation, attempting to work out what Wesley Black had been saying, and desperately trying to ignore the gaping hole in his chest that ached incessantly. It felt as though part of his soul was missing. He missed his companion walking home so badly he had taken to using a hackney. He couldn’t bear the loneliness of the walk.
He’d gone to bed on Christmas Eve and around four o’clock in the morning it had hit Jared with the force of a blow that he was not being blackmailed. Wesley Black hadn’t been asking for money, he had been offering himself. Offering love. As a man. He recalled those odd words. ‘I’m sorry I’m not more.’ Did he somehow think that he was lacking? That Jared had not wanted him? Jared swallowed. Every time he thought of Wesley Black his heart ached alongside other parts. He’d thought Jared wanted and alpha male, or whatever that was.
He’d used the word ‘mate’ and Jared didn’t think it was the cockney term for ‘friend’ he was talking about. He’d refused to even allow his mind to process that word for so long, but Jared said it out loud in the four o’clock inky darkness and felt his heart clench in his chest so badly he had to get up and walk about.
So now, here he sat, in his study with a plate of roast ham, wondering how on earth he could go about finding Wesley Black. His dog. His mate. How did he ensure the words that had passed between them when Jared thought he was talking to a dog stayed between them? He also needed to know if there were more like him. Where did they come from? Who were these people? Did they pose any kind of threat?
He allowed himself a moment to wallow in his fear and misery, but then steeled himself and went to the library and pulled out his maps and did what he did best. Started searching.
* * * *
By New Year’s Eve, Jared knew he had failed. He had scoured every inch of London, talked discreetly to hundreds of people…it was what he was good at. It was what he was. A spy for the government. The man that found all the secrets, plots against the King, seditious plans and threats, foreign agents and plotters. The dark feeling that Wesley Black and his kind, whatever they were, represented probably the biggest threat to King and Country he had ever encountered had grown gradually stronger. The irony was not lost on him. On the one hand looking for a man who claimed to be his mate, but on the other hand someone he most certainly should turn over. His heart was heavier with each step.
The pavement beneath his feet was frosty and slippery, and his breath bloomed before him. New Year’s Eve excitement prickled in the air and as he passed grand houses he saw candles in their thousands lighting balls and parties. He trudged on alone through Berkley Square one last time, then down Curzon Street and on to Half Moone Street. Head down, hands in pockets, much in the way that he had been the first night he had found the dog, he made his way home.
A bark sounded in the stillness of the night. Jared stopped and looked around but saw nothing.
He got to the house, and unlocked to door. He divested himself of his outer garments and then stood in front of the roaring fire in the study, holding out his hands to warm them.
A soft knock on the study door saw him jump almost from his skin. He hesitated, then pulled the door open. Surely the staff had left.
There stood Wesley Black. Dressed in the clothes of a gentleman, much like himself, but with no hat. His dark silky hair still curled madly, his green eyes were watchful but hard, and his lips were drawn into a solemn line.
Jared put a hand to his mouth and choked down the emotion that swamped him. He had to swallow several times, and clear his throat before he could speak.
“I looked for you.”
Wesley nodded once. “I know.”
“We need to talk.”
Wesley didn’t move.
“Please, come in.” Jared gestured to the room and Wesley walked in. His spine was ramrod stiff, his shoulders back. It didn’t bode well.
Wesley stood by the fire and turned to face Jared. “You thought I planned to blackmail you.”
Jared bit his lip and frowned. “I did.”
“I’m not going to do that.”
Jared nodded. “I worked that out. Eventually.”
Wesley’s eyes were still hard. “Why are you looking for me?”
Now he was standing in front of Wesley, it was hard to remember anything at all. The man radiated energy and warmth and Jared wanted nothing more than to go and take him in his arms. He remained still.
“I told you things,” he said. “Told you things that I should never have spoken of.”
Wesley nodded, and frowned. “And?”
Jared rubbed a hand over his face. “For God’s sake, man, I told you about me. Who I am. What I am.” He put a hand on his chest.
Wesley looked confused.
The tension that Jared had been carrying for days burst forth. “Oh, for crying out loud. I’m a government spy. I work for the Alien Office. The Alien Office. I seek out people who would infiltrate the country…” He threw his hands in the air. “Here you are telling me that you are some kind of…of…Well, I don’t know what the hell you are, I only know I should be handing you over to the authorities not…not…” Jared was breathing heavily and gesticulating wildly. “I even told you about my…personal…interests.”
Wesley rolled his eyes and sighed. “Do you people know nothing about loyalty?”
“Loyalty?”
“The way you say it, you clearly don’t.” Wesley moved to stand closer. “You are my mate. I could no more betray you than I could cut off my arm.” His eyes were intense, his whole body taught as a bow. “Yet, here you are, threatening to ‘turn me over’ to someone.”
Jared was open mouthed.
“Have you stopped for a moment to consider how this is for me? Have you?” Wesley’s voice was rising. “You are a human! My mate.” He patted his chest and leaned forward, green eyes glittering. “My mate is a human. A human who doesn’t understand anything. A human who would hand over his mate and have him killed.”
“I didn’t say I would….”
“You inferred.”
“This is ridiculous.” Jared paced the rug in front of the fire. “This is ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous?” Wesley’s voice was rising again. “I’ll tell you what is ridiculous. Me feeling as though my heart has been torn out of my chest, as though my life has been ripped apart, shred
ded in front of my eyes by someone who doesn’t understand loyalty or love when it stares him in the face.”
Jared’s control snapped.
“I can’t love you!”
“Can you deny how you have felt whilst looking for me? Can you deny your heart has felt torn out the exact same way that mine has?”
Jared couldn’t speak. His eyes closed briefly. “Just tell me you won’t speak of what I told you with anyone.” His voice was calm. Quiet. Measured.
Wesley actually growled. “You haven’t heard a word I have said, have you?”
Jared looked at him. Wesley took a step closer. So close Jared could feel his warmth. “I love you. I will always be loyal to you. I am your mate.” The words were hissed. Wesley waited, and when Jared didn’t speak he took a step back.
“I hoped you would be different to the rest of your race,” Wesley said. “I’d hoped that you might accept me and how things really are.”
“What are you talking about?”
Wesley smiled, but it wasn’t happy. “How things really are for those who care to see.”
Jared shook his head again. “Stop talking in riddles.”
Wesley shook his head too. “If you’d listen, you would understand.” He stared at Jared for a long moment, as though memorising him. “I must go.”
Jared’s heart clenched tight in his chest and his breathing hitched. “Go? Just tell me that you won’t reveal anything that I told you.”
Wesley seemed to vibrate with anger. “I just told you I wouldn’t! I offered you my loyalty and my heart. What more do you want? Do you want me to write it down? Carve it in blood? If I’d wanted to reveal your bloody secrets, don’t you think I’d have done it by now?”
Jared didn’t dare believe.
Wesley looked at him. Eyes flicking back and forth. He nodded once, bowed his head in defeat, and backed away.
Jared was horrified to feel tears prick at the back of his eyes. The pain in his chest became unbearable.
“You can’t go.” His voice was a thick whisper.
“Give me a reason to stay.” Wesley whispered. He searched Jared’s face and then a shiver ran through him. He walked to the door, opened it, and left Jared standing in the room. Alone.
