by Toni Aleo
“Ref! What the hell? That’s cross checking,” I yell as I skate by one of them, but he just shrugs. “What, is Arkansas sucking your dick?”
The asshole then blows his whistle. “Fifty-nine, two minutes for unsportsmanlike contact!” he yells, pointing at me, and I’m flabbergasted.
“Are you kidding me?” I yell.
“Go!”
“Fucking bullshit,” I mutter as I skate toward the box.
Sitting down, I throw my stick down and then my gloves in complete frustration. This is bullshit! Leaning on my legs, I suck in a deep breath, looking up at the clock to see how much time we have left. Nine minutes. I get comfortable and allow myself to cool down a bit. But once I look out at the ice, my blood pressure rockets through the damn roof.
The Bullies are doing great, sending the puck out of the zone. But when it gets caught in the boards, Baylor rushes the puck, looking back to see where Jace is and also to find Kuntz and McMinn. But then two guys come in, squishing her between them as they all three fight for the puck. Jace comes over, trying to get the puck while Kuntz and McMinn watch the goal. But then I see one of the guys digging his elbow into Baylor’s neck, and I fucking lose it.
“Look at this shit!” I yell at the ref who is standing by the box, but he is ignoring me. “That’s allowed? He’s basically choking her!”
Baylor doesn’t take it though, she’s throwing elbows too, but she isn’t getting anywhere. Finally, Kuntz rushes in and checks the guy in the chest with his stick, but the other guy gets the puck, sending it up to his forward, who has another player with him. Before Kuntz can get back to man the net, McMinn is alone and the one player does a sick pass through McMinn’s legs to the other player, who sends it over Shane’s shoulder to the back of the goal.
Fuck.
Opening the box door, I skate toward the bench as Coach yells, “Sinclair! What the hell? That’s on you!”
“What? They are beating the shit out of Moore, and no one is calling shit,” I yell back, and I feel her gaze on me but I ignore it. “I’m not gonna stand around… No, we aren’t going to stand around while they hurt our teammate.”
Grabbing me by my jersey, he yanks me up to the tips of my skates. “She can handle her own. You worry about you and that fucking puck, or I’ll sit your ass on this bench so quick, you won’t know what happened!”
“We are a team! I look out for my team,” I yell back, my voice breaking a bit.
I’m out of breath and I’m fucking pissed. Rage is in his eyes, and I know mine mirror his. I don’t know if he is really that mad at me or mad at the situation. I’m sure it’s the latter because when he lets me go and shakes his head; he then bends down to check on Baylor as I take a seat beside Jace, who is between us.
Leaning on the boards, she calls over to me, “I got this, Sinclair. I’m good.”
“They are gunning for you,” I snap back, looking over at her. She looks tired and her lipstick is smeared.
And it isn’t my fault.
“They are. It’s bullshit and no one is calling shit,” Jace says, sucking in deep breaths.
“I’m fine, guys, I swear,” she promises. “Everyone always guns for me, but I can take care of myself.”
“But you don’t have to,” I roar back, and her eyes go wide as mine bore into hers. “We are a team.”
“But it’s costing us. If I need you, I’ll holler for you,” she says, and I shake my head.
“No, that’s bullshit,” I bellow, venom in my voice. “I don’t know who you’ve played with before, but on this team, we look out for our own.”
“Fucking right,” Jace adds, and most of the guys all nod.
Nodding, she swallows hard before looking back at the ice. My blood is boiling, we are down by a goal, and I swear, one more person touches her, I’m going for blood. I’ve played rough games, even dealt with my fair share of guys trying to take me out, but this is beyond anything I’ve ever seen. It’s like they want to hurt her, which I can’t even fathom. Yeah, she is fucking amazing and she can skate circles around most of these dicks, but really? Their jealousy is that bad that they want to hurt her?
What the hell?
Obviously though, these guys weren’t raised like me because as Baylor’s line and mine hit the ice, they gun for her again. They pin her against the boards, and I watch as she fights for the puck. I sink my teeth so hard into my mouthguard, I’m sure my teeth are gonna shatter. But I stay back, watching as she fights, and now, she’s being just as ruthless as they are, which makes me proud. When she gets the puck under control, she sends it out just as Jace is rushing the net. But he drops it back to Markus, who somehow puts it to the back of the net, tying the game.
As all of us join up to congratulate each other, she nods. “See! They are so worried about me, if we stay in position, we can catch them off guard. Way to go, Markus.”
That doesn’t seem right to me, though. She’s basically suggesting we use her as bait, and I don’t like that.
She may be as strong as an ox, but I have to protect her.
Lining up again, Baylor wins the puck when it drops, sending it back to me, and I send it to Kuntz as we skate past the blue line. When he sends it back to me, I look up to see her hauling ass to the net, her stick is down, her eyes are on me, and she’s ready. Sending it up quickly, I fully expect her to send it to the back of the next.
But what I didn’t see was the two-hundred-pound defenseman.
And then everything happens so fast.
I’m not sure what he hits her with, his shoulder or elbow, but she goes flying back like she weighs nothing, hitting the ice hard, her helmet sliding against the ice. I spot Jace and Markus waling on the guy, and then all of a sudden, the benches clear out and it’s utter chaos.
But the only thing I can see is that Baylor still hasn’t moved.
Ugh.
My head is throbbing.
What’s that beeping noise?
Shit, am I dead?
I feel like death, that’s for sure.
Blinking awake, I look around to find that I’m in a hospital room. Why am I here? Groaning from the pain in my head, I find my dad sitting by the window, chewing on his nails. A nervous habit of his. The noise I made must have gotten his attention because his eyes fill with relief as he looks over at me.
“Little 50,” he says softly before coming over and sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Dad,” I say as he leans over to kiss my head. “Ugh, my head hurts so bad. What the hell happened?”
“Wilkie took you out, Bay,” he says softly, pushing my hair out of my face. “They think it’s a concussion.”
Oh yeah, that’s right. Dude is a bull, and I loved having on my team. But playing him, yeah, that sucks. Okay, a concussion, that’s curable and I’ll heal, but that isn’t the issue anymore. “How long am I out?”
“They said it depends on you. They’ll probably come in to examine you soon. They wanted to wait till you were awake. I’m saying a week though, no matter what they say.”
Figures, and I know better than to argue with him. “Okay. It just aches right now. I’m not dizzy or anything.”
“That’s good.”
Next important thing. “Did we win?”
“Nope, couldn’t finish the game, so they called it a tie. But the whole team did get suspended, well, except you. But let’s be honest, you can’t win it on your own, so we have to forfeit the next game.”
“What?” I ask incredulously. “How?”
“They all jumped off the bench after Wilkie, but then Arkansas came off the bench too, so that’s why it’s only one game.”
“Seriously?” I ask, completely shocked. “Why in the hell?”
“For you, is the answer I got.”
“Huh?”
“I know, it’s crazy. This team, they are different,” he says softly. “They really are a family.”
That sends chills down my body, and I honestly can’t believe it. I’ve never had a
group of guys want to protect me like this, and I’ve been on a lot of hockey teams. “Wow,” is the only thing I can think to say.
“Yeah, I’m over here screaming at them, and the little Sinclair stands up and says, ‘She’s our sister, what do you expect?’” Dad then shakes his head. “I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even punish them. I let it go.”
Smiling, I decide that I want to keep Jace around. He’s good people.
“They are all outside. Waiting to make sure you’re okay.”
“All of them?”
“Yup,” he says, a grin pulling at his lips. “I’ll let them come in after the doctor comes in.”
And on cue, the doctor walks in and then I’m being examined. I want to say that I was paying attention, but I can’t stop thinking about the fact that my whole team is waiting to make sure I am okay. It’s just so mind-blowing to me that they care enough to not only get suspended but also to wait to make sure I am okay. I know that they’d do it for any of their other teammates, but I was so damn sure they all hated me.
How wrong was I?
“She’s good, no swelling was on the film, but she does have a nasty bruise. It’ll be tender for a couple days.”
“But I can play?” I ask him, and he nods.
“Sure, as long as you don’t get dizzy or get a really bad headache. If that happens, come in,” he answers with a nod. “But you’re in perfect health.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Dad says.
“No problem. To be sure though, I want you to stay overnight so I can check you again in the morning. In the meantime though, you have a room full of guys who are waiting to see you. Two of them have been sitting on the nurse’s desk, tag teaming the nurses and asking every five minutes when they can see you,” he says, and it’s obvious he’s annoyed by that.
Probably Jace and Markus.
They are so adorable.
Laughing, I nod. “I’d like to see them, please.”
“Just a second,” Dad says though, and I look over at him. “I want to talk to her before they come in.”
“Sure, just let the nurse know.”
“Will do, thank you, Doctor,” Dad says as he leaves, and my brow rises as I look at him.
“What’s up?”
Chewing on his lip, he holds up a finger almost like he is trying to collect his thoughts. Finally, he looks at me and says, “Bay, are you sure this is what you want?”
Confused by that, I ask, “What do you mean?”
“This, playing professionally with men?”
Looking at him like he’s crazy, I nod. “Duh, Dad, why are you asking that?”
“I have to be honest here. This was scary.”
“Dad,” I say with a laugh, “it isn’t the first time I’ve been in the hospital. It’s hockey, you are bound to get hurt.”
“But this time, it was intentional. They were gunning for you.”
Rolling my eyes, I suck in a deep breath. I don’t know why he is making a big deal out of this. “They always gun for me,” I say with a shrug. “It makes me stronger.”
“I don’t know, Bay, it makes me nervous. This is a college league. If you do make it—”
“You mean when,” I correct him as my heart starts to pound in my chest. “When it did change to if? Do you not believe in me anymore?”
Taking my hands into his, he shakes his head. “No, Bay, I do. It’s just if these boys can’t handle all your talent, how will the men in the NHL?”
“I don’t care what they can handle,” I snap, jerking my hands from his. I feel betrayed by him. Hasn’t he always fought for me to live my dreams? “I’m gonna make it and I’m going to kick ass.”
“But Baylor, it’s your safety. Be smart here.”
“And what, quit?” I yell, sitting up, ignoring the pain in my head. “I’m not a fucking quitter, Dad, and I don’t know what is wrong with you, but I don’t need you doubting me.”
“Damn it, Baylor!” he yells, standing up and slamming his hands against his hips. “I am thinking of your safety. I’m doing what any father would do.”
“No, you can’t do that. When it comes to hockey, you’re my coach! If this were another player, what would you say? ‘Suck it up, buttercup, and press on or you won’t get anywhere!’ I’ve heard you say it tons of times.”
“But those boys are not my baby,” he says softly, shaking his head. “Baylor, I can’t watch you get seriously hurt. I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t. If I fall, I get back up, no matter what,” I snap back. “If I fall six times, I get up seven!” I say, quoting him.
“Baylor—”
“No! I didn’t work this hard to give up after one little injury.”
“He hit you so hard, you flew five feet in the air!”
“But I’m getting up, and I’ll be on the ice tomorrow, working harder to be ready,” I say back, my hands trembling with anger.
“Maybe you aren’t ready for this league,” he suggests and my glare deepens, my heart sinking. How can he say that?
“Are you serious right now? Because I got hit by some bigger dude and he knocked me out, I’m not ready?”
“Yes, it was a nasty hit that can happen again.”
“Oh my God,” I sputter, shaking my head. He’s lost his fucking mind! “I’m done talking to you.”
“Excuse me?” he snaps, his brows going into his hairline.
“You aren’t being rational here. When did it change? When did your need for me to succeed vanish? You’ve pushed me—so fucking hard—my whole damn life, and now you want to play the dad card? No. That’s not fair. Believe in me or don’t, but I’m going into the draft and I’m going to get picked up and I’m going to bring the Cup home.”
Looking at me with narrowed eyes, he shakes his head. “Why does it matter so much, Baylor? You can be anything you want, but you’re gonna risk your safety? Why?”
“It matters because you gave it all up for me. I’m doing it all for you!” I yell at him, and his jaw goes slack as he holds my gaze. My eyes flood with tears as I say softly, “I work myself to death because I want to make you proud of me.”
“Baylor, I am proud of you,” he says, matching my tone. “I completely believe you can get into the NHL, I know you can. But how many hits are you gonna take before you get there?”
“As many as it takes,” I answer sharply. “I will win.”
Letting out a roar of frustration, he pins me with a dirty look, but I don’t care. This has been my dream since the day my skates hit the ice. I’m not letting anything derail my dreams. I can’t, no matter what he says.
Shaking my head, I cross my arms, looking back at him defiantly as he asks, “So I’m supposed to throw you to the wolves, then?”
“Nothing stopped you before, so why now?”
“Because before now, I never had to see you lie lifeless on the ice, Baylor Irene!”
“I got up. I’m fine.”
Rolling his eyes, he shoves his hand through his hair before looking over at me. I know he’s frustrated, but so am I. I need his support, I need him to believe in me, and right now, I don’t think he’s doing either those things. “Dad, I’m not quitting.”
“I didn’t want you to quit hockey. I wanted you to play for the girls’ team.”
“Not happening,” I say simply. “I’m too good.”
Shaking his head, he looks down at the ground and says, “I know, but you’ll be safe.”
“I’m good, Dad, and that’s final,” I say as his eyes meet mine. “But the question is, are you going to help me get to the NHL or not?”
Looking away, he sucks in a deep breath and I fully expect him to say no, but instead he says, “You know I will.”
“Then nothing else needs to be said,” I say, tears threating to fall since I feel like all his faith in me is gone. “I’m fine. Don’t let this scare you.”
“Easier said than done, Bay.”
Shrugging my shoulders, I don’t care if it is.
I have one goal.
And that’s to bring the Cup home to him.
And I will succeed.
“I guess I’ll tell the boys to come in,” he says then, reaching for the door, and I nod.
“Thanks,” I say, wiping away the stupid tear that falls.
When the room fills up with my teammates, I almost start crying from the overwhelming love they all show me. Everyone is asking if I’m okay; they even brought me gifts. Some brought me flowers while others brought me candy and snacks since they decided to keep me overnight. I’ve never been showered with this kind of attention or love, and it feels amazing. But as I look out at my teammates, I can’t believe that I’ve only looked at these guys as my competition. That’s not what they are—they are my family.
When I don’t see Jayden, I start to freak out a bit, but then I notice that he’s standing in the corner, watching as everyone checks on me. When our eyes meet, I can tell he’s worried about me, but then he smiles and all my anger from before with my dad vanishes. It’s funny how one look from Jayden can make everything seem so trivial. I just feel better when he’s around, and while I really do appreciate everyone coming to see me, when they leave, I’m not sad to see them go.
Especially when Jayden hangs back.
Coming toward the chair by my bed, he reaches for my hand and kisses the back of it. When he looks up at me, I smile and then he stands up, taking my mouth with his. Letting my eyes drift shut, I bask in the feel of his lips against mine. I’ve missed his lips, his warmth, and soon I feel nothing, not the pain, the anger, anything, just him. When he pulls back too soon, I look up at him as he cups my face.
“You scared the shit out of me,” he says, his thumb trailing along my bottom lip.
“Sorry, dumbass got me. I was looking down,” I say, shaking my head. “Rookie mistake.”
He shrugs. “Happens to the best of us,” he says before kissing me softly again. Moving my hand up his jaw, I hold him in place as I deepen the kiss, needing to feel him. When we are like this, just us two, and I get lost in the way he makes me feel, I’m convinced that nothing can touch me.
