by Mason Sabre
Shelley held her while she broke down in her arms. Only when Gemma seemed to calm did she whisper, “You have to choose. That’s what it is.” She peered down into Gemma’s face, lifting a hand to wipe her tears away. “If you didn’t want his baby, you wouldn’t be crying. You’d not be here, either. If you came here for me to tell you that you're doing the right thing, I won’t. I can't make this decision for you, Gemma. You have to do it. I will support you whatever you choose, even if I don’t agree, okay? I’ll be here for everything, but you have to choose because you are the one who has to live with it.”
“I have a life here. How can I just give it up?”
“Tell me what life? Do you know what I was facing before I met Tom? Marrying some bloke that my mother picked out for me. I don’t even know who he was. I didn’t care, either. And for what? To carry on the pure lines? I was going to spend the rest of my life doing my mother’s bidding. Do you think that I would have been happy? Is that a life … is that a way to live? Just because I was born into the position I had, didn’t mean that it was what I wanted to keep.” She stopped, jaw clenching. “Do you know that my mother is taking my power?”
Gemma raised her eyes to Shelley’s, shocked. “Because of Tom?”
“Yep,” she nodded. “She thinks that it will make me come running home if I can't do shit.” Shelley stepped away from Gemma and held her hand out with her palm up. It glowed blue in the darkened room and then the smallest of flames bubbled in her hand. “I used to be able to throw fire, remember? Now I am lucky if I can make the bloody smoke alarm go off.” She sighed and shrugged. “Does it matter, though? Because inside, I have everything I need.”
Gemma was prevented from replying by a knock on the door downstairs. They both jumped at the sound and Shelley quickly went to the window to peer down.
“Looks like your decision is outside,” she said with a smile.
Gemma raced to Shelley’s side, her heart in her mouth. Cade was standing at the front door. “Shit.” She turned to go, but Shelley grabbed hold of her hand.
“Look at him and think about what you see and feel just now. If it is not love, if your stomach isn’t flipping at the sight of him or screaming in longing, if your arms aren’t craving him, go down there and tell him to leave. Let him go because he also has a life, and it isn’t fair to make him hang between what he wants and what he has. If there is no hope, let him go.”
Gemma stared down at Cade’s tall, well-built frame as he stood there, her heart thumping loudly in her chest.
“Make your decision, Gem.”
It was Shelley who left the room first, leaving Gemma standing there staring down at the man who meant the world to her. He hadn't looked up, hadn't seen them in the dark room above. She watched him, the way he stood, the way he held himself ... his strong, muscled form. Every single part of him called to her and every part of her craved him. Light flowed out and he was framed in a soft glow for a moment when Shelley answered the door to let him in.
Tom emerged from the bathroom just as Gemma was sneaking out of Harry’s room. He wasn’t as built as Cade or Stephen—normal height, slim build. He was just Human … but his eyes and his heart were pure. Purer than most Others she knew.
“You okay, Kitty Kat?”
“I am now that you have stopped singing,” she teased, but her smile felt as fake as her lie.
Tom grinned at her. “It’s what Shelley loves about me. Won her right over.”
“She must be tone deaf,” Gemma joked, leaving him there chuckling softly and heading towards the muffled voices downstairs.
Cade was standing in the lounge—just standing. He didn’t need to be doing anything else to make Gemma’s heart race at the mere sight of him. It pounded loudly in her chest, the sound reverberating in her ears. Everything about him was perfect. His blue eyes, broad shoulders—everything about him was so male. But as he stood there silently staring at her, she had the overwhelming urge to go to him and ease the ache that she knew was in his heart.
“I know I shouldn’t have come …”
“Is something wrong?” she breathed.
He put his head down and it was enough to make Gemma grow cold, fear filling her. “Cade?”
“Aaron has chosen his mate,” he said slowly.
Gemma’s heart plummeted.
Chapter Six
Gemma couldn’t stop shaking as she sat at the dinner table in Shelley’s dining room. Despite the comfortable warmth of the house, her teeth wouldn’t stop chattering. She was glad that Shelley and Tom had gone back upstairs to give them some privacy.
Aaron had chosen his mate.
The words tumbled around in Gemma’s mind, unable to compute. She could understand it, she knew what it meant, but to actually believe it was another thing entirely. “The Council have agreed? My dad?” she whispered the last part with a touch of hope.
“They set me up ... my father ...” Cade sat next to Gemma, his chair turned so that he was facing her. He reached out to take her hand between his, running his thumb across the back as he sat thinking. She didn’t pull away from him, needing his touch as much as he did in that moment. He brought her hand to his mouth and laid a gentle kiss in her palm. She didn’t dare to make it more, though. She didn’t trust herself. She needed logic right now—they needed it. Decisions fuelled with overriding emotions would sure as shit get them in more trouble than they were already in.
Cade lifted his eyes to hers, his gaze penetrating. “The Castle woman was there,” he said carefully.
Jealousy surged through her, red-hot and malevolent. So much as she didn’t want to know, and didn’t want him to say yes, she had to ask, “And her daughters?”
“No. Just the mother. No doubt to witness it all and tie the noose around my neck more tightly.” Cade exhaled heavily. “My father knew. He had to. There was no other reason for me to be there except for him to set me up like this. He loved every minute of it, too.”
Gemma’s stomach clenched with dread. It would be typical of Trevor to do something like this. “He wanted to see your reaction when they told you?”
“I think he wanted to see if I would back out. It would be his chance to snatch Phoenix then and get rid of him. I can't even give him the flicker of a reason.”
Gemma swallowed hard. “You didn’t back out, did you?” Part of her wished he would say yes, because it fixed everything, but the other part of her knew she couldn’t do that to Phoenix. He would be out on his own, and he wouldn’t last long. She could never sacrifice his happiness for hers. God, she hated this gridlock they were stuck in.
Cade’s expression fell, his jaw clenching. “I can't.”
“I know. “She leaned into him, resting her forehead against his, their hands clasped between them. Nothing else in the world existed right then—just them. The Castle woman was nothing more than a bogeyman made up to scare her. It couldn’t hurt her if she had Cade. That was what she tried to tell herself anyway. But looking into Cade’s deep blue eyes, she could see that he was scared, too. His wolf roamed in the back, waiting to emerge. All Cade had to do was say the word.
Pressing her hands firmly to his lips, he inhaled deeply. “If I don’t do this, my father will come and take Phoenix. There won’t be any second chances. He is just waiting for me to mess up and give him the chance.” He breathed hard as he clutched her hands. “I love you so much.”
Her insides knotted with longing for him—a longing to be closer to him. When she was with him, she couldn’t ever get enough of him. Her tiger was hungry for him, just the way his wolf was for her. And when he let her hands go and cupped her face, bringing her mouth to his, she didn’t fight it. Instead, she opened her mouth to him and held on. She could kiss him forever, taste him this way. Just the feel of his mouth on hers had her wanting to cry out from the frustration of it. “I love you, too,” she whispered against his mouth as she broke their kiss. “This baby makes everything so impossible.”
And that was the word that
did it—baby. Cade let go of Gemma and stood up so abruptly that his chair almost toppled over. She tried to grab for his hand to stop him, but he was too fast.
“Don’t you see that we can't keep it?” Her tone was pleading, urging him to see how hopeless and crazy it was to even entertain the idea.
Cade turned and pinned her with a stony stare, the warmth that had been in his eyes just a moment before gone. “Don’t use this as justification to get rid of our child.”
His words were a stab to the heart. She looked at him, a hurt expression on her face. “Cade …”
In two strides, he was in front of her again. He sat down on his haunches and grabbed hold of her hands, his eyes boring into hers, desperation glimmering in their depths. “Leave with me, Gem,” he begged. “If you truly love me, leave with me. Please don’t take my child away.”
Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest. There was nothing more she wanted than to be with Cade, to have his child. Why did life have to be so cruel? “It isn’t that simple,” she whispered, “and you know it.”
“Isn’t it? We could just pack a bag and go. We could leave right now ...”
“And what about Phoenix? You just said that your father would take him out if he got the chance … and there would be no second chances. All Trevor needs is to see the opportunity and he will grab it.”
“We take him with us.” The words were spoken so matter-of-factly, so flatly, that she knew there was no moving him on this. His mind was made up. But this wasn’t Cade—this wasn’t the logical, reasonable man who never made rash decisions and who always thought things through rationally first. Right now, Cade wasn’t thinking at all. “We can leave tonight. No one will know. It will be days before they realise.”
“But they will realise eventually, Cade.” And they would. Maybe not Trevor—Cade didn’t live with him and their contact was sparse—but her father and her mother would know. Not that Gemma was a child, but she lived with them. It would just be a matter of how fast Malcolm or Emily noticed their daughter was missing.
“We can be gone before then. We can go to Exile.” Exile was the row of islands around the coast, far enough away that you couldn’t just swim there, but close enough that they were used to house prisoners and unwanted Others.
“How do we get there, Cade? Swim? We don’t even have papers.” That was the other problem. Admission into Exile needed papers. There were communities there—or so she had heard. She had never been herself. There were pockets of Others, but it wasn’t all fun and games. They lived in gated areas that were nothing short of prisons.
He pushed himself back up to his feet and ran agitated fingers through his short hair. “We can get papers. We can get them and do this properly. We take Phoenix with us.” He reached down suddenly and pulled her up from the chair, his movements gentle. Then his arms were around her, holding her with such tenderness that it threatened to break her heart all over again. She fought the onslaught of emotions as he held her, his proximity having its usual dizzying effect on her senses. It was so hard to say no to him, to push him away when all she wanted to do was seek comfort and safety in his arms. The look of desperation on his face inked itself on her heart.
“I can't leave Stephen,” she murmured against his hard chest.
“Stephen is a big boy … he will cope.”
She shook her head. “He is sick. Haven’t you seen it? The way he is? Something is wrong. I can't leave him like that, and neither can you. He’s your friend. Can you walk out on him?”
It was true. Something was getting worse with Stephen. He wasn’t sleeping—she’d hear him go to bed around two, and then he would be up roaming the house around four-ish again. She had no idea how he hadn't passed out from so little sleep.
“Something is going on with him. I don’t want to leave him.”
Cade exhaled heavily then let his arms drop from around her. He ran both his hands through his hair and turned back to the window. This whole thing was impossible and they both knew it.
“I don’t want to get rid of the baby any more than you do,” she whispered.
“Then why do it? We can find ways.”
Gemma’s heart cried with sorrow and frustration. “You are about to marry another woman. How …?” Her voice broke and trailed off as the weight of everything pressed down heavily on her. She sat back down, and let her head fall to her hands. She could feel Cade there—he had moved back to her—but he didn’t touch her this time. When she looked back up at him, he was staring at her, a tormented look in his eyes.
“How can I just have a baby when you are going to be with someone else? She will have your children. It is her place, not mine.” Each word tore another piece from inside of Gemma—each like a new sword piercing her flesh. But it was the truth. He wasn’t hers, and there was nothing she could do about it.
A light knock on the door brought both their heads around, their attention on Shelley as she slowly eased the door open and popped her head through the gap. “I wasn’t listening,” she said.
“Yes, you were,” Gemma smiled sadly. “But it’s okay.”
“Okay, I was listening a little.” She pushed the door open further and slipped into the room. “I’m not trying to interfere …”
“But?”
“Do you know how far along you are?”
Gemma shook her head. “I missed this month, that’s all.”
“So, early then. Chances are just a couple of weeks. It means you have some time.” She glanced from Cade and Gemma. “If you abort the baby tomorrow, the day after, or even next week, it’s final. It’s done. You can't ever bring it back. Take some time and think about the possibilities.” She faced Cade. His anger was still etched on his face, palpable in the room. “If you leave tomorrow like you want, what will happen? All you have is the money in the bank. You have no papers, nowhere to go, nothing. You can't uproot Phoenix like that. What if he doesn’t want to leave? Have you thought about that? He is quite attached to Stephen, right?”
Gemma nodded at Shelley’s words, her eyes seeking Cade’s, gauging his reaction. Over the past two years, Phoenix had found different parental qualities in all of them in a way. Though he was way too young to be considered it, Cade played the part of a father—he was for the more serious stuff. He was there to teach him and guide him, to give him his education and to offer him protection. Gemma was more like the big sister to him—protective and loving and teasing. But Stephen ... he had taken on the fun role—they went running and shifted together, and Stephen had taught him how to hunt more efficiently. He taught him the things that Cade had felt could come with time and didn’t bother with so much. But that was unacceptable to Stephen, who thought that they were fundamental to his role in the shifter world. Phoenix had got attached to all three of them, and each of them had connected with him in turn.
“You both need to sit and think about this properly. You need to sit and talk about it without the emotions.” She walked over to Gemma and knelt down in front of her, placing her hands gently over her own. “You have some time still.” Shelley smiled reassuringly at her before glancing over her shoulder at Cade. “How long until you have to choose one of the women?”
Cade’s hands balled into fists at his side. “I don’t know,” he said gruffly. “My father didn’t say. I would imagine he’d want this one nailed as soon as possible.”
Shelley grimaced. “Business deal, right? I forget what an asshole your father is.” She turned back to Gemma. “Give it two weeks. Okay? See what you both want. See what is possible. Maybe you can get the papers and leave. Maybe Phoenix wants to come. Shit, maybe even Stephen wants to come. Maybe the pregnancy …” Shelley’s voice trailed off as she got carried away with the maybes.
“Doesn’t last?” Gemma finished for her.
Shelley glanced away. “Sorry.”
The thought echoed in Gemma’s mind. That would be the best solution—not that she wanted to lose the baby. Some part of her feared it more than anything
. Mix babies were harder to carry to term. “It happens,” she eventually said slowly. “At least then we know it wasn’t meant to be.”
“You’re hoping to lose the baby?” Cade’s tone was hard, cutting.
Gemma’s eyes flew to his. “No, I wish I had never …” She was going to say hadn't got pregnant in the first place, but it was a lie. To know that she was carrying part of Cade inside her filled her with a warmth she couldn’t ever begin to explain.
“You never …?” Cade urged her to finish, anger written all over his face. She couldn’t say what she had thought, though. She knew that if she did, he would walk out. She didn’t want that, either. “You wish you never …?” His jaw clenched as he shoved his fists into the pockets of his jeans as if to keep from ramming them into a wall.
Gemma knew she was walking a fine line. She met his stare, refusing to look away. “I don’t know. I wish lots of things.”
“Got pregnant?” he persisted.
Gemma squeezed Shelley’s hand tightly and Shelley squeezed back. If it wasn’t for her friend grounding her, Gemma was sure that she would have passed out and slid to the floor. Her mind was swimming with the agony of everything.
Her expression was anguished as she looked at Cade. “If you die because of this baby, I don’t know how I can live with myself.”
Cade’s stare was unblinking as he said, “If the baby dies to save my life, how do I live with that?”
Unwittingly, tears rolled down her cheeks. Why couldn’t he see that she was hurting, too? Why couldn’t he see beyond his own pain and what his words were doing? She had always known she would never carry Cade’s child, but it had never stopped her dreaming about it. It didn’t stop her imagining her belly swollen with their child. It didn’t stop her imagining Cade holding his newborn child—the child that she had given to him.
