by Mason Sabre
“What do you mean?” Gemma started scratching at her legs, her nails digging deep into the flesh of her thighs.
Stephen pushed himself up. “Gem, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She scratched and then let out a growl of frustration as the itch moved again. It was all over her, like tiny ants under her skin. She leapt from the bed, panting.
Stephen sat up at her sudden movements. “Gem?”
Her eyes were shifting—she could feel it. The world began to change in her vision, the colours blurring into one, like looking out through a kaleidoscope. The sounds around her became nothing more than a muffle. She backed away, almost losing her balance and falling over.
Stephen was off the bed in a heartbeat. Gemma saw him as a fuzzy silhouette as he rushed to her, blinking to try to clear her vision. She vaguely felt hands as they gripped her arms, Stephen’s voice coming from far away. Sharp canines dug into her bottom lip as her body started to transform of its own volition.
“No,” she whimpered. Pushing her tiger back down, she fought the change. She dug her nails into her palms until the pain started to give her some grasp on reality and helped her focus long enough so that she could take the helm from her tiger. Gemma opened her eyes and found herself crumpled onto the floor with Stephen kneeling down in front of her calling her name.
“Gem, what’s going on?” She tried to talk, but her mouth refused to form the words that lay jumbled in her mind. Stephen narrowed his eyes at her. “When did you last shift? The truth.”
“I don’t know,” she managed breathlessly, the effort to keep her tiger back a tremendous struggle. The tiger wanted out and she wasn’t taking no for an answer. “Maybe the shift makes me lose the baby …”
“Shit, Gem.” Stephen pulled her up and tilted her head up so that he could look at her. She stared back at him through eyes that were still tiger. “You’ve been holding back? Since you found out?”
“I don’t want to risk it ...”
“And you tell me that you are unsure whether you want this baby. I think it is pretty obvious right now just how much you do. You need to shift, tabby cat,” he said affectionately. “You know you do or your tiger is going to make you, and then what? You could lose the baby then for sure.”
“I can’t …” her voice trailed off in a pathetic whimper.
“You can.” He slid his arms under her knees and around her waist, and with no effort at all, picked her up and carried her out of the room. The land at the back of the estate their parents owned was a mass of trees and fields—perfect for running. Stephen carried her away from the house, determination in his every step. Gemma was thankful their parents hadn't heard anything and come out to investigate. When they were far enough away, Stephen set her down carefully. “You need to shift, Gemma.”
She leaned against the fence that surrounded the grounds and nodded. “I know, but …”
“There are no buts. You need to do this.”
She stared at him with desperation in her eyes. “What if something bad happens?” She was being illogical, she knew that. Women shifted with babies inside them all the time and nothing happened to them. But what if life was waiting to punish her and take away the gift she had been given because she had been debating abortion.
“What’s going to happen when your tiger is feeling so caged that she bursts out without you being able to stop her? You’ll be lucky to survive yourself then.” His jaw set into a grim line. “You need to shift.”
“Are you sure? Do you promise?” she whispered.
“Do you think that Mum didn’t shift when she was pregnant with us? She’s never lost a baby, and she is wife of the alpha. She’d have shifted a whole lot, you know that.”
“I wish I could ask her.” Pain pierced her heart with that thought. She was missing that bonding moment.
Stephen nodded. “I know, but maybe we have to trust nature this time. If you weren’t meant to shift while pregnant, your tiger would stay back, right?”
“She’s been the opposite—like she wants out more than anything.”
“See? There can't be any harm to it, because she wouldn’t do that. Your body is made for it. I’m right here ... let your tiger free.”
She hesitated, still scratching and gouging her prickling flesh. “Will you shift with me?” she asked, suddenly feeling panic rising in her chest. He’d shifted earlier so he’d have no need for it now, but she needed him there with her. The prospect of running out in the dark alone filled her with dread. She wanted him there, by her side. Maybe if he was with her, nothing bad could happen to the baby. His presence was powerful and made her feel secure. He’d keep them both safe. “Please, Stephen?”
He ran his knuckles down her cheek, a tender brotherly caress. “Okay. Give me a minute, tabby.”
She could have sobbed in relief, even though she knew he’d not have refused her. Stephen would give his life for the people he loved—and that was a very few. He piled his clothes with hers, thick, roped muscle moving fluidly under smooth skin, the tattoo that ran down his arm and back more like intricate shadows that had always been part of him rather than something he had chosen to mark his body with.
“Ready?”
It took Gemma a few minutes before she was able to see her tiger, the apprehension in her mind an obstacle that wouldn’t let her focus. She breathed in deeply and tried to centre herself. She had to tear down the protective walls she had built around her tiger and let her out. Stephen was right there—she was safe.
The shift came slowly at first, seeping in slowly. The bones in her hands began to move and realign, her claws and teeth gradually emerging. The feel of her ascending tiger was comforting, a friend she had been missing, and she welcomed her.
Please keep the baby safe, she begged her tiger. Don’t hurt it. An almighty growl ripped through her in answer, sending shivers along her spine. When she opened her eyes, it was to look out through those of her tiger.
She searched for her brother and found him standing a few feet away from her, his tiger big and magnificent in the night. Their eyes met and in silent agreement, they both set off in a leisurely run into the woodland.
Stephen had been right. She didn’t want to get rid of the baby.
But how could she keep it?
Chapter Ten
The sudden and violent hammering on his front door yanked Cade from his sleep and sent his heart racing. He jolted out of bed, adrenalin surging through his veins. He glanced at the clock on his nightstand ...
Two in the morning.
“Fuck.” He snatched the lounge pants from the end of his bed and hastily pulled them on. Bloody hell, it had taken him hours to fall asleep. Couldn’t people just leave him in peace? The hammering came again. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” he muttered angrily as he ran down the stairs, glancing back at Phoenix’s bedroom door and hoping— futilely—that the racket hadn’t woken him.
When he opened the door, cool night air rushed in to meet him, along with a very pissed off Stephen, “Jesus man, how long does it take you to answer the bloody door?”
He pushed past Cade into the house without an invite, but Cade wasn’t interested in Stephen or his snide remarks just now. His eyes were on Gemma, who stood quietly in the doorway staring back at him with her big, beautiful green eyes. She still had the power to take his breath away with her mere presence. He wanted so badly to reach out and drag her into his arms, his wolf needing for touch, its need to hold and protect and claim its mate consuming.
She stood there clutching her coat around her, even though the night was warm. Cade balled his hands into fists to keep from reaching for her. “Is something wrong?” he rasped, sudden dread filling him. “Something with the …” he swallowed hard, “… baby?”
“The baby is fine,” she said softly, her voice a light caress on his frayed nerves. They stood there staring at each other, uneasy and unsure how to act or what to say. “May I?” She motioned to the room behind him, and Cade could have ki
cked himself for his inconsideration. With a quiet oath aimed at himself, he quickly stood back to let her into the house.
Stephen was in the kitchen, head stuck in the fridge as he searched its contents. “Don’t you have anything decent to eat?” he grumbled. “I’m starving.”
Cade absently gestured to a plate of rabbit that was on the side, uninterested in Stephen or his hunger. His eyes stayed riveted on Gemma as she walked to the kitchen table and sat at the spot she always liked to pick, her movements feline and graceful. She drew her leg up and wrapped her coat more closely around herself.
Stephen seemed unaware of the tension in the room, or pretended not to notice. He stared at the plate as if Cade had just offered him sludge. “Wow. That’s disgusting,” he said, screwing up his face. “I still don’t know how you eat that shit.”
Cade glared at him, wondering how the hell he could be thinking about his stomach when Cade’s world was falling to pieces around him.
“Do you know I have shifted twice this evening, and the only thing I actually managed to bite was some tatty rag off a corpse?” Stephen continued to complain bad-temperedly. “I could waste away; you know?”
“I didn’t expect dinner guests at fucking two in the morning, or I might have got you something.”
Gemma was unusually quiet, no sarcastic or teasing remarks of her own for Stephen. Concern creased Cade’s brow and permeated his very essence “Is everything okay?” he asked her softly, paying no mind to Stephen as he continued to gripe about him dying of starvation and no one caring.
Before Gemma had a chance to answer, Phoenix pushed the door open cautiously and peered through the gap. His eyes lit up when he saw Gemma, and he pushed the door open the rest of the way. “Hey,” he beamed at her, and she returned his greeting with a warm smile of her own. When he saw Stephen standing there, a huge grin spread across his face, making Cade’s heart squeeze painfully in his chest. Could he really take Phoenix away? Uproot him from his life when it was only just getting stable? Take him away from the people he had grown attached to? His gaze fell back to Gemma, discerning the sadness in her eyes despite the smile on her lips.
His jaw set in a determined line. Yes … he had to protect them both.
“Hey, loser,” Stephen said affectionately. “Wake you?”
“Nah,” Phoenix said casually, trying to look cool and unconcerned.
“Good. Then you can come tell Mr Stick-in-the-mud over here to start keeping normal food around the house from now on.” Phoenix chuckled and sent Cade an apologetic look, well aware of Stephen’s preference for freshly-hunted game and his continuous harrying of Cade over it. Stephen took a bite of an apple he had eventually grabbed from a fruit bowl on the counter and turned his attention back to Cade. “I told Gem about the bodies,” he said between bites. “And about us having to go to Manchester and Liverpool.”
Cade glanced at Gemma, measuring her reaction, but she rested her chin on her knee and fixed her gaze onto a spot on the floor, not saying a word.
“I told her that maybe it would be a way for us to get you both away. Give you a head start kind of thing ...”
“That’s all very well,” Cade said before he could stop himself, “but she doesn’t want to keep the baby.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness from his voice, but when he saw the pain that flashed across her face, he immediately regretted his words. There was such fury in him, such pain that she would have even considered hurting their child, that while one part of him sought to protect her from any kind of sorrow, another couldn’t stop being angry with her. Why didn’t she realise that he was hurting, too? It was all in her hands. It was her body, her choice, and whatever she decided, he would have to live with that. He never imagined that one day he would have to beg for his child’s life.
Both Stephen and Phoenix had frozen, standing there quietly as they waited for either Cade or Gemma to say something. Phoenix knew about the baby—Cade had talked to him the same night. He didn’t like to keep secrets, and the bond between them would make it hard anyway. He would have to try to lock Phoenix out every single minute, and that was impossible. At least if he told him, he didn’t have to worry about keeping his mental shields in place.
Stephen cleared his throat suddenly. “Maybe Phoenix and I should go out and hunt something. There’s nothing edible in this god damn place and I’m a grown tiger … can’t expect me to survive on bloody apples …”
While Cade knew it to be a pretext to leave them alone, he was grateful for the privacy they were being given. He didn’t look at them as they left the house, his gaze steady on Gemma as they stared at each other.
“I don’t ever mean to hurt you,” she said meekly. “You mean everything to me. It is the last thing I want.”
Cade’s features hardened, and his anger rose again full force. “Is this where you tell me that you’re booked in to … how did you put it? Get it fixed?”
Gemma pushed back her shoulders and kept her stare level with his, refusing to look away. “Stephen made me shift today. I didn’t want to because I was afraid, but he made me anyway. My tiger was about to rip me apart.” Concern flickered in his eyes but Cade said nothing, letting her speak. “I didn’t want to shift … because I was afraid,” she repeated tremulously.
Her lip quivered and it took every ounce of mental resistance Cade had to stand there and not go to her. She wiped at her eyes and took a deep breath.
“Of?” he prompted, his tone gentler this time.
“I thought that I might lose the baby if I shifted,” she said softly. Cade’s stomach twisted with hope and fear all at the same time.
“You didn’t want to lose the baby?”
She shook her head forlornly. “It’s part of me ... it’s part of you.”
Cade was kneeling in front of her before he could stop himself. He gripped the side of her seat, scared to death of the ‘but’ that was to come. “What does this mean?” he asked in a hoarse whisper.
“I'm not getting an abortion, Cade,” she sobbed. “I can't.”
“Gem …” Cade breathed her name gruffly, relief washing through him.
“It wasn’t meant to be this way.”
He cupped her face, his eyes searching hers in a desperate attempt to make sure he hadn’t heard her wrong. “Maybe it was ... maybe this is how the baby was meant to come into our lives. We’d never have planned one together.” He slid his hands down the sides of her legs until she lowered them to the floor, allowing him to slide between them. He rested his face on her thigh and placed a kiss there, his arms slipping around her middle and holding her tight. He finally had what he had been starving for—Gemma and his unborn baby. He squeezed her more tightly when he felt her fingers thread in his hair. “We’ll really do this?”
She hesitated. “What if you die?”
Cade pushed himself up so that his face was a breath from hers. He breathed her in—she smelt like apples and soap. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” He slid a hand up to cup her cheek. “Together ...”
Gemma turned her face into his palm and placed a kiss there. Then his lips were on hers, hungry and demanding. She opened for him, needing the touch of her mate, her wolf—hers. When Cade reluctantly broke the kiss, it was to reach for some papers wedged under the plate that he kept his loose change in.
“What’s this?” She frowned as she took the papers he handed her.
“I have to pick a mate,” he said. “I have a day left and then my father wants an answer. I don’t want to answer him because you're not one of them, but if I don’t choose by midnight, he is coming for Phoenix.”
She froze, and he could sense the distress in her. “Does Phoenix know?”
Cade shook his head. “I figured I would just pick one. It doesn’t matter which … they aren’t you … they never can be, so what does it matter?”
Gemma stared at the papers in her hands but didn’t open them. Cade had retrieved them from the ground where Stephen had tossed them and had tried to flat
ten them out.
“Stephen chose the top one for me.” Despite all the joking and ridiculous teasing on Stephen’s part, if Cade had been forced to choose one of them, Natalie was most probably the safest bet like Stephen had suggested.
Hurt flashed across Gemma’s face. “Stephen helped you to choose? He helped you to look for another woman?”
“No ... shit ... it wasn’t like that …” he floundered. “Stephen was just being Stephen.”
Gemma nodded, but the hurt was still there. She eyed the papers in her hands. “I don’t know if I should look. Is she ugly?”
“Fuck … I don’t know, Gem,” Cade said uncomfortably. “She’s not you.”
She took a deep breath and opened the papers slowly. When she saw the woman who was Natalie in the photograph, her eyes brimmed with tears. She brought her hand to cover her mouth and stifle a sob. “Oh god. This is real, isn’t it?” Her eyes searched his. “You’d really mate with her?”
Cade stared at her in earnest. “If you don’t leave with me, what choice would I have? I’d have to. I can't let them take Phoenix. He is just a kid.”
She didn’t answer for a minute, letting his words sink in. “When?”
Cade frowned.
“When do you have to mate?”
“I don’t know ... maybe when Aaron has his first born. I can't have children till then anyway, so I think that right now it is just a matter of having to pick one of them and make an official announcement. But until Aaron has a child, I’m not obligated to do a damn thing. Couldn’t risk the precious throne being stolen by my child.”
Gemma gave him a weak smile. “They don’t realise you already have.”
Cade took the paper from her and threw it back onto the table. He rose to his feet, bringing Gemma up with him and, like he always liked to do, slid his hand along the side of her neck so that his thumb rested against her jaw. He held her there for a minute and simply drank in the sight of her. She was so damn beautiful —and she was his. He pulled her to him and lowered his mouth to hers. Their kiss was gentle this time, one that held a promise of belonging to each other forever.
