by Jillian Hart
With a final click, she was secure and safe and unhappy. “I wanna sit with you, Daddy.”
“I want that, too, princess, but your mom is making me sit up with her.”
“Oh.” With a gulp, Madison quieted.
Before she could ask the inevitable why question, he hit the button on her cell phone. It rang with a cheerful electronic tune. “You’d better answer that. It could be your aunt.”
“Yip.” She smiled up at him angelically. “Hello?”
He shut the door and leaned on his cane the few feet to climb up into the passenger seat. His leg was wobbly and hurting him, but he couldn’t let Danielle know.
“And you said he could get a dog.” She winked at him as she settled behind the wheel. “As if we don’t have our hands full enough already.”
“Not full enough for me.” He winked at her, hoping he was being charming.
Must have worked because she laughed, gentle and warm, and the sound of her laughter made his world brighter. Better.
He clicked his seat belt buckle into place, bowed his head and sent a prayer heavenward as the van rolled out of the garage. Show me the way, Lord. Show me how to care best for these incredible blessings You have put into my life.
The van came to a stop, he opened his eyes.
“Please hit the remote for me, handsome.” Across the console, she was watching him with soft tenderness on her face.
Tenderness for him.
Yep, he was sure grateful for that. He reached up and hit the button, the garage door slid down and they were off, a family, rolling down the residential street together, awash in sunshine.
With Madison on her hip, Danielle peered through the arched doorway into the church’s sanctuary. A string quartet played, while the last of the guests were seated. White roses filled the church in fragrant, pure displays at the end of every aisle, and graced the altar where Aubrey’s William was waiting to marry her.
It was hard not to remember her own wedding, pink roses instead of white. She would never forget seeing Jonas standing at that altar, watching for her, and how his face had lit with awe when he saw her for the first time. The dress, she remembered, had been beautiful. She had it still, wrapped carefully and stored in case Madison should ever wish to wear it.
Jonas. There he was, sitting in the second row next to Spence. Marin Baylor, the church’s youth pastor and a family friend, was talking with both men. Jonas was smiling—how handsome he looked in his navy-blue suit—but there was nothing except polite interest on his face. Not a single drop of recognition.
“Dani?” Katherine touched her shoulder. “We’re ready to start. Is our flower girl ready?”
“She is. You look incredible.” She shifted Madison and lowered her gently to the floor, careful not to muss her champagne-colored gown. “Pregnancy agrees with you.”
“You have no idea the panic at the final fitting when I didn’t fit into this grown, but the owner managed to alter it just enough.” Katherine was the epitome of happiness as she took Madison’s little hand. “Come with me, princess, okay?”
“’Kay.” Madison tilted her head back, her silken curls tumbling around her adorable face. “Bye, Mommy!”
“Bye, baby. I’ll be waiting for you at the end of the aisle, okay?”
“Yip.” A seasoned flower girl after walking the aisle for now three of her five aunts, she happily trotted along with Katherine to where Tyler was. He looked like a little man in his black suit, now thankfully dry and in the watchful care of Ava.
“Go be with Jonas,” Ava assured her as she knelt to straighten Tyler’s bow tie.
That was her family, always reaching out to her, always helping to lighten her load. There was no way she could have gotten through Jonas’s coma and rehabilitation without them. They stepped up and looked after the kids, her house, ran errands, kept things together so she could be with her husband. And they were still doing it. Gratitude left her speechless as she looked up to see Spence holding out his hand to her.
“Jonas needs you.” No smile, but that was Spence. He was not a happy soul. “People keep coming up to him, and he’s having a tough time with it. Hasn’t said a word about it, but even I can tell.”
So many people he didn’t know, folks he had helped out in his job in times of crisis, people he knew from his volunteer work and his active role in the church. All strangers to him now. She could see the strain on his face, the deep-set lines and how pale he looked, how lost.
As she let Spence guide her down the far aisle past so many friendly faces, it was Jonas’s need she felt. Jonas’s worry. Jonas’s fear.
He was afraid he would never remember, too.
“He’s looking good.” Marin stopped in the aisle as they passed. “Isn’t God great?”
“Very.”
Marin’s words seemed to follow her the few short yards to the end of the pew where Jonas waited for her. The anxious look on his face eased when she slid onto the bench beside him. She was hardly aware of Spence scooting in on her other side, because Jonas took her hand in his and held on tightly. Relief eased his tense shoulders. Her hopes fluttered when he fit his fingers between hers, just as he always used to do.
“Our wedding was like this.” He leaned close to whisper in her ear, just as he used to do, too. Making it somehow feel as if they were all alone. “With our family and friends. I can see what the pictures didn’t show.”
“What?” She was hardly aware of the music changing or the rustling of the full church turning to watch the central aisle. To her, there was only Jonas.
“All the happiness in the air. How happy everyone must have been for us. How happy I must have been.” His gaze was tender as he spoke. “You were beautiful in those pictures. I think maybe more beautiful than the pictures could show. Just like you are now. No picture could be as good as seeing you with my own eyes.”
She was no beauty; she knew that. But to hear that her husband thought her so made her throat ache with more emotion than she could measure.
“Look. Maddy.” Jonas seemed so proud as he gazed on his daughter, who was a vision in silk and lace, joyfully tossing handfuls of white roses into the air, and then stopping to watch them fall like grace. With a grin on her button face and pleased that she had everyone’s attention in the room, she waltzed a few steps forward and repeated the process. Adoring comments floated through the sanctuary.
“That’s our little girl,” Jonas whispered to her. “Ours.”
She heard what he didn’t say. She felt it with every fiber of her being. Their marriage, their kids, their family. All had been built on the rock of their love.
She felt a touch at her other elbow. Spence leaned close. “I see someone who just came in. She’s in the back.”
He was gone, his ominous tone making her worry just a little. Who was this woman? She barely had time to glance over her shoulder; Spence was speaking with someone quietly, blocking her view.
Since Madison was almost out of flowers and nearly at the altar, Danielle regretfully withdrew her hand from her husband’s. With his smile in her heart, she went around to sweep Madison into her arms and out of the way of the coming bridesmaids and Tyler, carrying the ring pillow. Looking so handsome, he grinned at her. And resembled his father so very much.
God is great; she knew that of course, but Marin’s words had nudged her in a direction she had been already heading anyway.
With her daughter on her hip, she carried Madison past Gran, who waved; past Mom, who blew two kisses, one for each of her girls; past Katherine’s and Ava’s husbands, who both winked at the little princess. Madison preened sweetly the entire way.
When Danielle slid into place next to her husband, he reached for their daughter and took her onto his knee. Over the top of Madison’s frothy curls and gleaming tiara, there was no mistaking the joy in his eyes.
Maybe he was coming to the same conclusions, too. God had graciously answered her prayers. The good Lord had brought Jonas back to her; maybe
not whole as he was. Maybe not the same man he was, but he was here. She had her husband. The children had their father. It was time to let go of her own wants and wishes. She wanted Jonas, her best friend and soul mate back.
Maybe it was time to accept that it might not happen, just as the doctors had said.
The past was gone, whether Jonas remembered it or not. It was behind them. It could never be resurrected. And if his memories of their past never returned, that did not change the course of their lives, of their family, of their commitment to one another. As long as Jonas was here, unwavering in his promises, that was what mattered. Now mattered. This day, this hour, this moment.
She would have to let go of the rest and be grateful, so infinitely grateful, for what they did have.
When Aubrey appeared at the top of the aisle, Danielle scooped Madison into her arms and stood, holding out her hand to help Jonas. But he did not accept her help. He struggled to stand, gallantly and without his cane, and when he was on his feet and steady, only then did he take her hand. His touch was steadfast and rock solid, making her love him even more.
The reception at Gran’s country house was for family only. There had been a larger one after the service at the church in town, for their church family and friends. So it was late, nearly twilight, by the time Danielle did her share of cleanup in the kitchen and went in search of her husband.
Spence, who had promised to stay close to him, had told her Jonas had wanted to sit on the front porch. Mom, who always had the best instincts, decided at that moment to take charge of Madison, who was yawning and getting a little cranky. She’d also promised to keep an eye on Tyler, who was inseparable from Ava and Brice’s golden retriever.
As she followed the wraparound porch along the side to the front of the house, she caught sight of Katherine and her stepdaughter, Hayden, doing the last of the hand washables at the kitchen sink. She breathed in the scent of the first bloom of roses clinging to the rails, and realized she was at peace. The worries and hurt that had plagued her had slid away.
No doubt they would be replaced by other ones, since that was the way life always seemed to go, but for now, she felt light as air. Then she turned the corner and saw her husband in the bench swing, staring out at the beautiful mountain range.
“Hey, handsome. Mind if I join you?”
He didn’t startle; he must have heard her coming. “I’ve been saving a place for you.”
“Lucky me.”
“We’re going to have to get Tyler a dog.”
“I know.” It wasn’t the best timing, she thought as she joined her husband, but Tyler had waited long enough. “He’s hung on to poor Rex all evening long. It’s going to break his heart when we leave.”
“Rex’s or Tyler’s?” Jonas teased.
They smiled together. “That’s one of the things I love about you most. Your sense of humor.”
“Not my dashing good looks?”
“I don’t think you’re good-looking, but a girl can’t have everything,” she quipped, barely able to keep from laughing because it was so far from the truth.
That made him laugh, too, deep and rumbling, a sound of warm joy. He shook his head. “I asked for that one.”
“Yes, you did, handsome. Want to tell me why you’re out here all by your lonesome?”
“I’m just a little tired.”
There was more; she knew it by the lines on his face and the silence that settled like the evening between them. “It has to be hard for you being with all these people who know you.”
He looked surprised that she had guessed what he was feeling. “When we’ve gone to church before, we came late, stayed in the back, left with the last hymn still going.”
“Because you had a hard time in a crowd.” She understood what was making the lines of misery on his face, of what seemed to weigh heavily on his shoulders. “No one got the chance to really come up to you and talk to you before, unlike now. Spence said when I was in the back of the church with my sisters, that you had a few people talk to you.”
“More than a few.”
“And you didn’t know who they were.”
He nodded, his mouth worked, and he turned away, staring hard at a red-tailed hawk circling above the neighbor’s far fields. “One was the pastor. I guess she’s friends with us?”
“Yes.”
“And there were more. People I knew from some committee. From a Bible study. From all kinds of things. I couldn’t keep track.” His throat worked, as if he were struggling with his emotions. “There’s a lot I don’t know. I will never know, unless you tell me.”
“I’ll tell you, Jonas. Anything you want to know.”
“Did we have a family party here, too?”
“Yes.”
“And did we head off on our honeymoon in a limousine the way Aubrey and William did?”
“Yes. We went to Hawaii. We stayed on Maui in a posh resort. You splurged for a wonderful trip for us.”
“I did.” He nodded once, as if not at all surprised. “I know why. I wanted to give you a time to remember. Something real nice for my amazing wife.”
“You said something like that to me at the time. It was a surprise, where we were going. You refused to tell me. You had Katherine pack my suitcases, so I didn’t even know if we were heading off to warm weather or cold. You were bursting with the secret, but when we went to board the Hawaii-bound plane, it sort of gave it away.”
“Were you happy?”
“Very. We were there three whole weeks.”
“Were you happy?” he asked.
“Very.”
“Good to know.” He turned toward her and laid his arm along the back of the top rail, not exactly hugging her, but close enough.
Just as he’d done on their second date. Always a gentleman, that was her Jonas. Why hadn’t she realized it before? Was he trying to get to know her again? She leaned back, luxuriating in just being with him. “We went snorkeling, surfing and sightseeing, too. We went on a helicopter ride and on catamarans.”
“You went snorkeling?”
“Yes, don’t look so amused. I know how to swim. We have a pool in our backyard, right?”
“Sure, but you look so…dainty.”
“I have pictures, buster. I’ll show them to you.”
“That’s a promise I’m going to make you keep. I want to see you underwater with fish and crawly creatures.”
“Now, I didn’t say I liked snorkeling, just that I went with you.”
“Did I like snorkeling?” He leaned a little closer to her.
It felt as if they were more than just physically closer. She ached with happiness from being so near to him. “That’s an answer that will have to wait for the pictures.”
“I’ll take you to lunch after my physical therapy appointment on Monday. Is it a d-date?” His voice wobbled on that last word.
Tears scalded the back of her eyes. She swallowed hard, to push them away, but his dear face was a little blurry. “It’s a date, handsome.”
His gaze caressed her face as if seeing her for the first time, as if treasuring every detail. She felt so exposed; this felt so intimate.
Footsteps rang on the porch boards behind them, pounding closer. It was Tyler, coming to find them. The moment was lost, but not the promise.
Chapter Eight
Sunday had been a wild and woolly one, especially with getting everyone ready and in the van for church. There had been Sunday school and the service, then an impromptu chat in the parking lot with the family, which had stretched into a long discussion of the latest on Aubrey and William. When Tyler couldn’t stand still a moment longer, the family gathering broke up. There had been lunch out at family favorite Mr. Paco’s Tacos, always an adventure with two small children.
Once they reached home, the pace hadn’t slowed down any. While Jonas had gone to their room to take a nap, she’d gotten both kids changed, Madison down for her nap, and got Tyler set up in the backyard with his fireman boots
and hat. Even as she sat down at her computer in the spare room in the daylight basement, she kept an eye on her son, who hosed down an imaginary fire in the petunia beds. Somehow, she had to finish last month’s books for the store before it was time to fix dinner. No problem, right?
Wrong. She’d watched the hands of the wall clock tick by for more than an hour, without a lot of progress on the troubled general ledger. Her back hurt from sitting so long in the secondhand chair, and she stretched, turning her attention away from the stack of invoices.
She was rewarded with a view of the backyard, where sunshine spilled through the glass. Tyler, drenched from head to boot toe, was now very diligently spraying the lawn with the garden hose, as if it had only been engulfed with a wildfire moments before.
Get back to work, Danielle, she told herself. She flipped the invoice over and started typing. When she glanced over the top of the monitor, Tyler was nowhere in sight. Expecting him to come back into view any moment, she turned to the next document and typed away.
Still no Tyler. But those were his footsteps pounding down the hallway.
“Mom! Hey, Mom! Did you see me put out that fire? Grass fires are the hardest. They can burn for miles and miles in the wild.”
“I’ve heard that, tiger.” Since he’d been the one to tell her. She stopped typing. Seeing him burst into the room, dripping and happy and with all his little-boy energy, simply filled her with endless love.
He clutched a handful of wild pink roses and held them out to her, along with a piece of paper. “Here. Dad said I had to give this to you, too, but it’s kinda wet.”
Wet was an understatement. She took the fragrant, delicate blossoms and the slip of paper he held out to her. “Thank you, baby.”
A devoted fireman headed back to the front line, he was already gone, calling out, “Bye,” his boots echoing down the hallway.
Roses. Jonas had remembered. The floral scent tickled her nose and her memories, brought her back to standing on the bridge with her husband in the hopeful light of sunset.
