Guilty Pleasures

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by Kitty Thomas


  In many ways it made her feel more helpless than being chained and whipped because there was no ritual or protocol that had to happen to set things up. No defined moment where the punishment would start and stop. With the remote for the band around her wrist, it could happen anywhere, at any time without warning. And Brian showed no hesitation in using it.

  Even in the gym with other trainers and girls, she didn’t feel safe with this man.

  “I’m not supposed to come on you or fuck you. That doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to train you or punish you in the gym.” His voice came out a low snarl. He retrieved the other remote, the one that went with the toy and then his voice calmed to something approaching civilized human speech. “We’re going to have an interesting session today.”

  Interesting was a word only a true sadist would use to describe their session. He pushed her harder than she’d ever been pushed. When she pleased him, he let her have the vibrations. When she didn’t, it was an electric zap. Not enough to harm her, but it hurt like a son of a bitch. Every time he did it, he reminded her he was going easy on her and using one of the lower settings.

  They must have been in the gym for two hours. She’d lost count of both the number of zaps and the number of orgasms she’d been subjected to. Lindsay’s words from earlier about how she’d beg not to come anymore were ringing in her ears, and the day wasn’t half over.

  The session ended on the treadmill, as Brian ran her to the point of exhaustion. Somehow him using her body in the gym was even more degrading than if he’d thrown her down on the ground and systematically violated each hole.

  He’d taken to torturing her with orgasms instead of electricity by the end, leaving the toy on the strongest setting even after she came. As she ran on the treadmill, she wasn’t sure anymore if she was running toward or away from the constant stimulus.

  Finally, moments before she thought she’d pass out, he told her to stop and handed her a bottle of water. She didn’t say the words, but her eyes begged him to be done with her. She would have gladly consented to a rerun of the episode of her cleaning another woman’s pleasure from his boots while he jerked off, just to stop the pain he’d heaped on her here.

  Vivian was almost to the point where she’d beg him to. Almost to the point where she’d let him use her here in the gym in front of anyone who cared to watch, just to distract him from the one type of sadism he’d been allowed to visit upon her without restraint or a babysitter.

  He laughed and shook his head, no doubt reading the defeat and desperation in her eyes. “If I could do it without getting in trouble, I’d ride you so hard in bed and in the dungeon, you’d beg to come back to the gym for more of this abuse. There is no reprieve with me. Eventually they’ll let me play with you, and you’ll find out.”

  She was too weak to hold herself up, but he didn’t help her. He just let her crumple to the ground.

  Brian walked away but came back a few moments later and shoved another glass of something in her face. “Drink this. Proteins. Nutrients. It’ll replenish the stuff you just lost. Don’t drink it too fast or you might get sick.”

  She sipped the chocolate-flavored shake.

  “You may leave when you’re able to leave. Or you can sit on the floor all day. I don’t care which. I’ll see you again the day after tomorrow. Tomorrow you have to rest to rebuild the muscles we tore down.”

  She managed a weak “Yes, Sir” before he walked away in search of his next victim.

  FIFTEEN

  It was an hour before Vivian felt recovered enough to stand under her own steam and leave the gym. If she’d had the strength she would have run far from her sadistic personal trainer from hell, but all she could manage was a slow, painful walk.

  She told herself every day couldn’t be this bad. She’d get used to his special brand of torture. She’d build stronger endurance. But she knew he’d only push her farther, harder, faster.

  The rest of the afternoon was spent poolside. Men she’d never met, but had seen in passing, came by one at a time to lie on the lounger next to her. None of them felt compelled to strike up conversation, and none of them physically touched her.

  The impersonal nature of the visits were, in her mind, worse than if they’d fondled her or taken her back to their room for some kinky slap and tickle. They merely laid next to her and pressed the little button until she came while trying not to look like she was coming. That part may have amused them the most. The fact that she was still so ridiculously shy.

  Many of the other girls didn’t seem to suffer from that problem, if the situation could be judged by the woman being openly fingered by the side of the pool. Vivian shuddered, hoping that wasn’t her future. Gabe

  had said it wouldn’t be, and it seemed the woman got off on being on display.

  As if she’d read Vivian’s mind, the woman glanced over and winked, then tossed her head back and came with a moan.

  Vivian closed her eyes and went back to trying not to look like she was aroused. Each of the men had paid her a visit by now and they were starting the rotation again. Some began fast and hard, some began slow and let it go on at that low vibration forever, waiting for a pleading look or whimper before escalating the intensity.

  The dark-haired stranger lounging next to her, was one of the latter.

  “You have no idea how much I want to touch you and find out just how wet you are after all the times we’ve made you come today.”

  She was startled and uncomfortable by the sudden conversation. Apparently they could talk to her; they just hadn’t wanted to. That somehow made it worse. They’d wanted to use her like a toy, manipulate her like a rag doll, watch her come undone for their own personal amusement.

  Vivian chose her words carefully. “Why can’t you touch me, Sir?” She hoped that didn’t sound like an invitation. As attractive and sun-kissed as he was, it was yet another person to make her feel like a whore in the ever-growing list.

  “I think I could if you said I could. They don’t want to introduce you to anything too fast. They don’t want to spook you.”

  His eyes were intense, drinking her in, and suddenly she wanted to let him touch her. If he touched her, it could only be with her consent. It felt like power. A type of power she hadn’t had since coming to the house.

  She wanted to consent, to explore and experiment with this new reality. To see if she could want this on her own terms, without threat or coercion.

  “Okay,” she finally said.

  “Okay? Give me more than that, little one. I want to hear you beg for it.”

  She glanced toward several girls splashing in the pool, and then the trainer with the wanton slut who had stripped down to nothing and was happily giving him a blow job right there in front of God and everybody.

  Vivian turned back to the stranger, growing increasingly aroused. “Please Sir, I want you to find out how wet I am.”

  He slid his sunglasses over his eyes and leaned back, feigning disinterest. “Hmmm. I need a more specific invitation than that or I can’t do it.”

  This was the devil. This was what temptation was. Gorgeous evil wrapped in a mask of innocence and consent. And she found herself falling to his seduction. She didn’t know where the words came from, or where her sudden bravery or shamelessness had been hiding out all this time.

  “Please Sir, I need your fingers inside me so you can feel for yourself what a filthy slut I am.”

  He grinned, and a little dimple appeared in his cheek. He turned toward her and slid the sunglasses up to perch on the top of his head. “Much better.”

  He scooted his lounger closer and shoved aside her gym shorts, panties, and the toy. One finger dipped inside her, and she moaned as it started to wriggle around.

  “I’m very pleased,” he said.

  Vivian couldn’t stop the rush of pleasure at those words. Even coming from a random stranger she didn’t know from Adam. She pushed her hips against him, begging for more contact. “Please . . . ”

/>   “But people could see you,” he said in a low, teasing voice. “Whatever will they think?”

  “Fuck it, I don’t care. Use me.” While the vibrator had teased and pleasured her clit to the point she’d lost count, his finger moving inside her was what she wanted right now. Penetration. Invasive, violating penetration.

  He chuckled and slipped another finger in, pounding faster and harder. Vivian’s head lolled to the side as tiny tugs of pleasure pulled at her with each thrust.

  “Come for me, little one. I want to watch you come from my fingers using you, not some battery-operated toy.”

  She needed no more than those words of encouragement. She came undone, writhing, moaning, whimpering. When it was over, he prodded at her lips to let her suck his fingers clean, and she enthusiastically complied, sated and grateful.

  Then she looked up, embarrassed to find she had attracted an audience. Gabe and Lindsay stood directly over the lounger, and a few others had been drawn to the fringes to catch a glimpse of the show.

  “Jake, leave,” Lindsay said.

  It was clear by now that Gabe, Lindsay, and Anton were the power players here. Everyone else appeared to answer to the three of them. She wasn’t sure what the exact hierarchy was, but it was obvious they were at the top.

  Jake, the man whose name she’d just learned after she’d come, shrugged and got up. He winked at her, then slid the sunglasses over his eyes and walked away.

  Gabe turned to go back inside and Lindsay held out a hand to help Vivian up. She was still sore from the gym, but allowed the doctor to lead her to his room.

  “Am I in trouble?” she asked when he’d closed the door.

  He didn’t answer. Instead he asked, “Did Jake force you?”

  She looked at the ground. Suddenly feeling uncomfortable standing next to him, she dropped to her knees and kissed his shoes. “No, Sir.”

  His fingers threaded through her hair. “No, you aren’t in trouble. You were told none of them were allowed to play with you, not that you weren’t allowed to play with them. I think no one imagined you’d initiate something, especially this early. Tell me why you did it.”

  “He gave me a choice. I wanted to know what it would be like to freely submit.”

  “You made a choice every time you went back to Dome.”

  “That’s not the same.”

  He nodded. “From now on, you are only to be with me, Gabe, or Anton unless we say otherwise.”

  The unless we say otherwise hung on the air, threatening Vivian with the potential of Brian. She wanted to ask if they’d ever let him touch her, but was afraid to hear the answer.

  Instead she simply said, “Yes, Sir. I’m sorry. Are you disappointed in me?”

  “No, Vivian. You weren’t disobeying anyone. And I told you you’d lose all your inhibitions. This is progress.”

  Lindsay spent the rest of the day fucking her and fulfilling his promise of tiring her out on orgasms. It was as if he was training her body so it didn’t know how to resist or close to pleasure. He wanted to wring every drop of it from her, and then when she thought she was wrung dry, he would start again, pushing her farther each time, until she began to internalize her own surrender and the power these men held over her body.

  He ordered food for them, and it was served in the room. After she’d eaten, he went to work on her again, using her for his own pleasure, then demanding she give him hers as she orgasmed for him on demand. When they were both sated, he allowed her to sleep in the circle of his arms.

  SIXTEEN

  Days turned into weeks, and the banshee finally died. With each day of pleasure and rigid rules and obedience, Vivian allowed another piece of herself to drift free. Gabe commented one day on the fact that she was the least punished girl they’d ever trained and how much it pleased him. The idea of their displeasure drove her even more strongly than the threat of punishment.

  They molded and trained her body so well she could barely remember a time when she couldn’t come or a time when she would have felt shame over it. Shame became an abstract concept, cloistered as she was in this place where the only shameful thing was being modest or disobedient.

  She transformed into something she didn’t recognize, but liked, even if someone from her old life would have told her she shouldn’t. When she looked in the mirror on the rare occasions she had a free moment in her room, she saw a new confidence and peace had slipped over her features. The lines that had begun to form on her face softened as everything inside her relaxed.

  At first she’d feared they would start sharing her with others, especially Brian. But the fear never came to fruition, despite his complaints that she’d been there long enough. She wasn’t sure why, but Anton was

  possessive of her in a way he wasn’t with the others. After awhile, the excuse that she’d been brought to the house too soon, wore thin. That couldn’t be the real reason. Not anymore.

  She’d come to think of herself as perhaps special to him because he seemed to go easier on her and protect her more than others. Vivian had convinced herself this favor she’d garnered was because of how deeply and completely she’d submitted to them.

  Her training was split evenly among the three men, Anton deciding that she was becoming too attached to Gabe and Lindsay. As if adding himself back into the mix would solve anything. She was attached to all of them and hated waking every morning because she knew each day took her closer to the day she’d be sold.

  She’d developed a fantasy that the three leaders of this house had become so charmed with her they’d never sell her. She’d remain in the house forever with them dominating and possessing her. One morning Anton stepped into the room and burst that fantasy bubble.

  Vivian knew something important was about to happen because Gabe was nowhere in sight, and he always came in for their morning shower. She wiped the sleep from her eyes as the grogginess lifted. Everything felt surreal as she left the bed and crawled over to kiss his boots.

  He stroked her hair. “Did you sleep well, flower?”

  She kept her head down. “Yes, Sir.”

  “I have excellent news. Tomorrow morning you’re going to have a master.”

  Everything in her seized up, then she started to cry. “Please, don’t sell me. I don’t want to go. I thought . . . ” She shut her mouth to stop herself from spilling out her absurd fantasies.

  “You thought we’d keep you? That you’d be the house pet?”

  She shrugged, still not able to meet his eyes.

  “You’ve been sold for half a million just as I said you would be. What could you possibly do to be worth that price if I let you stay?”

  “Nothing, Sir.” Whatever they wanted of her, they could get, free of charge.

  All at once the room began to grow smaller. Her throat tightened; her breath came out in short bursts. Anton was crouched beside her an instant later, raising her chin. “Stop it.”

  “I can’t help it.”

  “What is wrong with you? You’ve been lovely. Better than lovely. You’ve been a dream to train, much better than I ever expected. And now you’re having a breakdown?”

  She felt as if she were regressing back to the night she’d been brought to the house, suddenly needing to latch onto anything that would rescue her from this world and put her back someplace safe. “I want Michael. Please, if you don’t want me, send me back to him. He’ll pay you. Please.”

  Anton laughed. “He’d pay half a million dollars to get you back? After everything you’ve done in this house? After everything you’ve enjoyed? I have hours and hours of footage of you writhing around like a bitch in heat, taking cocks and toys in every available orifice. You want to go back to your husband after that? To your safe life where you play the little woman and get your nails done? Is that what you want?” His voice came out clipped, his accent causing words to blur together.

  “Yes.”

  “Liar. What did we say about lying, Vivian? Do you wish to be punished on your last day w
ith us?”

  She shook her head. “No, Sir.”

  There were a thousand things she wanted to say, a thousand things she wanted to accuse him of. If the banshee were still with her, screaming and crying in indignation, she would have had a laundry list of grievances to assault him with.

  She could have complained about how none of it was really her fault. There had been blackmail and coercion and later kidnapping. He’d led her into this spider’s web. She’d had no choice, no hope.

  But she could no longer give credence to those lies. The first day with Anton in Dome, when she’d spread her legs for him, she’d done it without much fuss or fighting because she needed to know if anyone could make her feel.

  Anything.

  She’d needed to remember what it felt like to surrender under the hands of another and feel pleasure. And he’d done that for her, over and over, while giving her the comforting lie that he’d tell her husband, that he was somehow forcing her to these clandestine meetings.

  Maybe he would have told Michael. But her choice had always been to come back, to allow herself to slip further under Anton’s control. She’d played with the fire and still wasn’t sure if she’d gotten burned, or if the fire had reshaped her into something new like a phoenix rising from the flame.

  Michael was safety, but what Anton promised her was peace. She just didn’t want to leave.

  When her tears had run their course and the room was silent again, he spoke. “Tomorrow, when you are sold, you will be placed in your collar. You will address him as Master when you meet him. Annette will walk you through the protocol. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  He left, Gabe came in, and the day went along like any other. Even on her last day she wasn’t spared the gym where Brian let out all his sadism on her in the only way he was allowed. During their session he seemed pissed off.

 

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