by Anna Hill
Rebecca clasped her hands together in her lap, overwhelmed by her guilt and pain. “Maverick…” The name escaped her lips in a soft, shaky whisper as tears began flowing uncontrollably from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks and cascading onto the stark, linoleum floor below. “I’m so sorry.”
“Becs.” His voice was strained and raspy, as if he hadn’t used it in weeks. Rebecca flinched at the sound and kept her eyes averted, desperately trying to regain control over herself. However, once the tears started, they couldn’t be stopped. Everything she’d pushed down, all the hurt and sorrow she’d hidden deep within herself over the last two weeks came rushing to the surface in an irrepressible torrent.
“Becs.” His voice was stronger this time, almost imploring. “Becs, stop. Please, stop crying.”
“I did this to you,” Rebecca brought her hands up over her face, feeling them slip across her tear-stained cheeks as she pressed against them in anguish. “You almost--no--you did die. You died because of me.”
“Damnit, Becs, stop!” He barked harshly at Rebecca, shocking her enough that she looked up at him. She could see the dim light reflecting off the mist that was gathering at the corners of his eyes. “Please,” his voice had fallen back to a whisper, laced with a sorrow that was plainly written across his face. “Please, don’t do this.”
Maverick paused as he too fought to keep his emotions in check. “I never thought I’d see you again. When I said goodbye to you that day I--” Then, unexpectedly, a small smile crept across his face, prompting his eyes to crease and sending a single tear rolling down his cheek. “It’s good to see you, Becs.”
Unable to stop herself, Rebecca laughed, more from absurdity than any humor. “It’s good to see you too, Maverick,” she responded as she wiped wet cheeks. She took a deep, wavering breath, slowly feeling herself begin to calm. He was alive. Though she’d known this fact for the last fortnight, only now did the reality of it fully hit her. He was alive.
“You weren’t supposed to be awake, you know,” Rebecca remarked with false indignation. As she spoke, she rose and picked up her chair, scooting it up to the side of his bed. “This would have been a lot easier for me if you’d just stayed asleep.” As she sat back down, she smiled at him, the last of her tears drying on her cheeks.
“And miss this? Not a chance.” Maverick’s familiar devilish grin lit up his gaunt face. “Besides, from what Cailleach told me, you’ve been hanging around this hospital so long that I should be offended you didn’t come to visit me sooner.”
Rebecca furrowed her brow and was about to retort when Maverick dropped his hand over the side of the bed, stretching his fingers toward her. Lifting her hand slowly, she allowed her fingers to interlace with his as their hands grasped together. “Thank you,” he whispered as he squeezed her softly.
Rebecca’s face grew warm and her pulse raced as she blushed. Even this small touch awoke a yearning within her that she’d worked so hard to suppress. As difficult as the last few months had been between them, as much as she’d tried to hate Maverick, there was still something there. Something deep within her that drew her to him in a way she could never explain.
They remained silent for a while, holding hands, simply enjoying each other’s company, their closeness. Finally, Maverick spoke, his voice tentative, almost afraid. “Will you tell me what happened that day? I’ve asked Cailleach, several times, but she refuses to answer me. I need to know. I deserve to know.”
Fear surged in Rebecca once more, causing the hair on the back of her neck to bristle. She didn’t want to tell him, to have to relive it… But Maverick was right, he deserved to know the truth.
“You died--” she hesitated, “in my arms. I felt your heart stop. I felt your last breath leave your lungs. Then, the darkness came over me, like a terrible force that I couldn’t control. All I knew was rage. All I could think was that I wanted the Elites to feel my pain. I wanted them to pay the ultimate price…and they did.” Rebecca felt Maverick’s hand tense, his grasp growing tighter as realization slowly hit him.
“You killed them? All of them?”
Rebecca hung her head as horror hollowed out her chest. “All of them,” she whispered.
Maverick didn’t say anything for some time, but she could hear him breathing. Deep inhales and exhales, as if allowing himself to slowly accept what he’d heard.
“Then, they know about you,” he finally responded.
Rebecca met his gaze, “They know.”
Maverick nodded his head once, as if accepting this frightening fact and storing it away to be dealt with later. “What happened next?”
“Faolan came over and pulled you off of me. She had Liam grab onto you as well, and they drug you into the house. I followed in a daze. I knew they were talking to each other, but I couldn’t hear anything--all sounds seemed muffled in my ears. Everything felt so surreal. It was all too horrible to be true.”
Rebecca shifted in her seat, working to keep her composure as she continued. “They brought you upstairs and placed you on the bed beside Aeden. Everyone was yelling and crying. Faolan kept pointing at you and then at Aeden as she spoke, angrily, and Liam kept shaking his head while shouting back at her. Then, it happened. Without warning, Aeden bent over you and placed his hands on your chest. He pumped his arms once and, suddenly, a bright light erupted from them and a deafening sound shook the room.
“Everyone fell silent, all of us staring down at both of you in shock…then, you breathed.” Rebecca felt her eyes misting over again, as the tremble in her hands returned. Maverick squeezed harder onto the hand he held, trying to stabilize her. “And your eyes opened. You were only awake for a moment before you passed out. But you kept breathing.”
Rebecca cleared her throat, sitting up straight and checking her emotions as she continued, “Liam called Cailleach while the rest of us worked immediately to stop the blood flowing from your wounds. Luckily, Cailleach was already on her way to do a final check on Aeden. She spent an hour trying to stabilize you before she finally called an ambulance. She used her ability to convince the ambulance crew to bring you here, to her hospital in Portland. Then, she used it again to convince the staff to allow you to have surgery and recover here at no cost and without any questions. She’s done a lot for you over the last two weeks, for all of us really.”
“She’s an amazing woman. I owe her my life, literally,” Maverick admitted with a smile, but it fell quickly as a thought dawned on him. “Aeden? Is he alright? He shouldn’t have used his power. It could have killed him.”
“Aeden lost consciousness after he shocked you. You’re right, he wasn’t strong enough to use his power. It slowed his recovery, but Cailleach brought him to the hospital with you and he stayed here for about a week before he was released. He’s up and moving now; all of his stitches are out, and wounds healed.” Rebecca paused for a moment, unsure of how to continue. “Maverick…”
“Yes,” he responded as he raised a questioning eyebrow at her.
“I think we’ve asked enough of Cailleach. We’ve all been living with her for weeks now, and her apartment isn’t exactly spacious. I think it’s time the crew moved on to a new safe house. I can ask them to start looking for somewhere else to go and to try to be out within a few days. I’ll stay here with you until you’ve fully recovered, and then you can join them.”
“I can join them?”
“Yes,” Rebecca answered sternly.
“And where might you be headed?”
“Away.”
“Away? Don’t be ridiculous, Becs. You know I’d never let that happen, none of the crew would. You’re one of us.”
“I know. But that’s exactly why I have to leave. I would never forgive myself if something else happened to one of you because of me. I can’t allow you guys to keep placing yourselves in danger.” Rebecca removed her hand from Maverick’s. “This is my choice, and I need you to respect it.”
“Then, I’ll come with you.”
“Now w
ho’s being ridiculous? You won’t fully recover for weeks, maybe even months. Traveling around the country on the run is entirely out of the question.”
“So that’s it?” Maverick scoffed. “You’re going to live the rest of your life on the run? Constantly moving, hiding your tracks, never able to settle down somewhere? Waking up every day and wondering if today is the day they finally catch you or, worse, kill you? Well, in case you’ve forgotten, I’ve already lived that life, Becs. I’ve faced those demons, and you know what, it’s no way to live. Your life will become controlled by a fear that slowly eats away at you from the inside. You can’t live like that. I won’t let you.”
“Then, what do you suggest? Hmm? What should I do?” Rebecca’s anxiety surged, panic tightening her lungs as her pulse quickened. “No matter what choice I make, my death sentence is already written. It was written the day I was born like this! At least if I leave, it’s only my death I have to worry about.”
“Can’t you see that this choice is no longer yours alone to make? You mean too much to us--to me. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.” Maverick fell silent, his eyes locked upon hers as they filled with affection and resolve. “I meant it, you know, what I said to you. I meant every word.”
Rebecca, her heart filling with sorrow, closed her eyes as she recalled what Maverick had whispered to her whilst he lie in her arms. It was the only part of that day she could relive without overwhelming terror gripping her. In fact, during her time in the hospital it had replayed through her mind, over and over and over again until every word had become forever imprinted in her memory. In that wonderful moment, he’d returned to her. The Maverick she’d first fallen for had spoken those words to her, the words she hadn’t known she so desperately needed to hear. And then, she’d lost him. She’d felt him slip away from her, watched as the light slowly faded from his eyes. For a brief moment, she’d had him back, the man who had captivated her heart, and then he was gone, forever.
“Becs, I still lo--”
Suddenly, the door swung open, filling the room with the loud sounds and bright lights of the hospital.
“You’re awake?” Cailleach beamed as she walked over to inspect the drip to the right side of the bed. Either she hadn’t noticed the tension left over from the moment she’d interrupted, or she was very good at ignoring it. “How are you feeling, Ricky?”
Maverick’s penetrating gaze lingered on Rebecca for a moment longer, his look conveying more than words ever could. Rebecca could see his regret, sorrow, and even pain etched within his eyes--every emotion that echoed within her own heart. An overwhelming urge to reach for him washed over her. She wanted to touch him, to be close to him, to have him hold her once again, as he did before all this madness.
Breaking the intense moment, Maverick gently pulled his hand free of Rebecca’s and placed it back on the bed. Clearing his throat, he righted his features and turned to look up at Cailleach. “Good. I mean, I’ve felt better, that’s for sure. But all around, I can’t complain.”
“I’ll take it.” Cailleach’s gaze was pinned on the clipboard in her hands, her eyes scanning over the top sheet as she spoke, “You’ve got a long road to recovery, but I’m happy to say you’re going to make it.”
“Phew,” Maverick sighed sarcastically, and then chuckled. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Doc.”
“And don’t you forget it.” Cailleach looked up and winked at him, then dropped the clipboard down to her side. “Actually, I’ve come here with a proposition, for you both.”
“What’s up?” Rebecca turned in her chair to better face Cailleach, exhaling heavily as she swallowed her intense feelings. She didn’t have room in her over-burdened mind to deal with them right now. She was barely able to keep her disturbing Feiceann impulses and dreams in check, the last thing she needed was suppressed emotions running wild.
“Not that I don’t adore all of you, but I’m a grown woman and I think it’s about time I was able to live like one again. Plus, the crew needs to be hiding somewhere far more secluded than my apartment if you’re going to prevent the Aillil from finding you. So, I have an idea. Our Chief of Staff has a quaint house in Black Butte Ranch that he’s so very generously offered to the crew for the next few months.”
“Offered, huh?” Maverick smirked.
Cailleach rolled her eyes, “Well, he isn’t using it; might as well have someone living in it. Anyway, I’m going to arrange a transport for you, Maverick, and the rest of the crew will follow in the SUV. If you agree with this plan, then I’ll have it arranged for you to depart tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? You really are sick of us aren’t you?” Maverick laughed, but as Cailleach was about to retort, he held up his hands in a sign of peace and continued, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. You’re a brave woman for putting up with all of us for as long as you did. It’s a great plan. Thank you, I mean, seriously, I can’t thank you enough for all that you’ve done for us.”
Smiling, Cailleach leaned over and kissed Maverick’s forehead, “You’re welcome.” Then, she adopted a serious face, staring straight into his eyes. “But don’t ever do this again, you hear me? You’re not allowed to die.”
“Agreed,” Rebecca seconded with mock severity.
Maverick smiled, glancing between the two of them, “I’ll do my best.”
Cailleach straightened up, holding the clipboard in front of her chest. “Good, I’ll get to work setting up your transport. Rebecca,” she remarked, turning toward her. “I’ll need you to rally the crew, fill them in on everything, and get them ready to leave.”
Rebecca arose from her chair. “Of course, I’ll head back right away.” Dropping her hand to her side as she spoke, she subtly slid it across the bed until she found Maverick’s. Their fingers interlaced as they grasped onto each other.
“Excellent.” Cailleach turned and began walking out of the room. “Liam is waiting for you in the hallway. He’ll bring you back to the apartment and help you get the crew ready.”
Cailleach’s words hung heavily in the room as she disappeared from view. Even the loud noises of the bustling hospital couldn’t break the tension that suddenly filled the air around them.
Before Rebecca could stop it, Maverick loosened his grip. Slowly, his limp fingers slid coldly away from hers, leaving her feeling empty.
Liam. Liam was waiting in the hallway.
She’d barely spoken to him since that horrible day. They’d been so blissful in the woods before the Aillil had attacked; everything had felt perfect. In that moment, she had been absolutely certain that Liam was who she wanted, that he was what she needed in her life. But after the fight, after Maverick had said those things to her, after she’d killed all those soldiers, she couldn’t find the strength to face him. She didn’t know how to tell Liam the truth of what had happened in her mind, of what killing those Elites had done to her.
So much of her heart longed to be with Liam. He made her feel safe and protected. His presence always put her at ease. None of that had changed. And yet, she couldn’t ignore her feelings for Maverick either. There was something about him that she simply couldn’t explain. Even after everything that had happened between them, she longed for Maverick. No matter what she felt for Liam, she couldn’t be with him. She couldn’t be with either of them. Not now, not while her heart was so confused and her mind was so infected by her Feiceann lineage.
“Better go meet your boyfriend before he gets worried.” Maverick’s voice was cold and sarcastic, shocking Rebecca out of her train of thought.
“Maverick,” she turned to look at him, but he’d shifted his gaze over to the far side of the room and refused to acknowledge her. “Fine!” Rebecca snapped and spun on her heels. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess.” Angrily, she marched out of the room and slammed the door behind her.
Chapter Three
“I’m sorry.” Rebecca’s words broke the tense silence in the vehicle. It was the first thing either of them had
said since she’d met Liam in the hallway.
He’d been standing stiffly, his shoulders rolled back and the usual air of strictness about him. But, no matter the rigidness of his posture, he couldn’t hide the hurt etched within his bright, eagle eyes as he’d watched her approach. When she was within a few steps, he’d pivoted and headed down the hallway without so much as a greeting.
Rebecca had followed a few paces behind him, all the way to the SUV. It was almost unbearable for her to see him like this. She’d caused his pain. She’d made him feel this way. As much as she wanted to throw herself into his arms, to kiss him, and to tell him it was OK, that her feelings hadn’t changed, she couldn’t lie to him. Right now, she didn’t know what she wanted, or who she wanted.
“I never meant to hurt you. You’ve done so much for me, and I want you to know how much you mean to me and--”
“Stop,” Liam snapped, cutting her off. He kept his eyes pinned to the road, his knuckles turning white as he tensely gripped the steering wheel.
Rebecca waited, expecting him to continue speaking, but as the silence slowly stretched on, it became increasingly apparent that he had nothing more to say. Rebecca’s heart weighed heavily in her chest, her sorrow slowly suffocating her. Liam was the only person who’d ever sincerely believed in her and she’d pushed him away. She’d lost him.
As Liam pulled the SUV up against the curb in front of Cailleach’s small apartment building, Rebecca jumped out, before he’d even placed it in park. The air inside the vehicle had grown painfully stifling, and she needed to escape, to get away from him. With five quick steps, she crossed the sidewalk, climbed the front steps, and bounded into the building, refusing to look behind her.
“You’re back!” Owen shouted cheerfully as Rebecca burst into the apartment. His smile faltered slightly when he caught sight of Rebecca’s tense face.
