CHAPTER VIII.
To lull affection's sigh, And dry the tear of sensibility; I'll think of thee, in all my lonely hours, Though thou, perhaps, may ne'er remember me.
[_NY Weekly_: Stanzas Addressed to a Young Lady, stz. 4.1-4:
To lull the heart-rent pang of Nature's sigh, And dry the tear of sensibility, In these lone solitary wilds I'll call on thee, Whilst thou, perhaps, wilt ne'er remember me.]
The next day Theodore returned to his studies; but different from hisformer visits to Alida, instead of exhilarating his spirits, this hadtended to depress them. He doubted whether she was not already engagedto Bonville. His hopes would persuade him this was not the case; but hisfears declared otherwise.
[_A&M_:
The next day Alonzo returned to his studies; but different from his former visits to Melissa, instead of exhilarating his spirits, this had tended to depress them. He doubted whether Melissa was not already engaged to Beauman. His hopes would persuade him that this was not the case; but his fears declared otherwise.]
It was some time before he renewed his visits again. In the interim hereceived a letter from a friend in the neighbourhood of Alida's father;an extract from which follows: "We are soon to have a wedding here; youare acquainted with the parties--Alida M. and Bonville. Such at least isour opinion from appearances, as this gentleman is now there more thanhalf his time. You will undoubtedly be invited. We had expected that youwould have put in your claims, from your particular attention to thelady. She is a fine girl, Theodore." I shall never be a guest at Alida'swedding, said Theodore, as he hastily paced the room; but I must againsee her before that event takes place, when I shall lose her forever.
[_A&M_:
It was some time before Alonzo renewed his visit. In the interim he received a letter from a friend in the neighbourhood of Melissa's father; an extract from which, follows:
"We are soon to have a wedding here; you are acquainted with the parties--Melissa D.---- and Beauman. Such at least is our opinion from appearances, as Beauman is now here more than half his time. You will undoubtedly be a guest. We had expected that you would have put in your claims, from your particular attention to the lady. She is a fine girl, Alonzo."
"I shall never be a guest at Melissa's wedding," said Alonzo, as he hastily paced the room, "but I must once again see her before that event takes place, when I lose her forever."]
The ensuing day he repaired to her father's. He inquired for Alida; shewas gone with a party to the shores of the sound, attended by Bonville.At evening they returned. Bonville and Theodore addressed each otherwith much seeming cordiality. "You have deserted us, Theodore," saidAlida, "we concluded you had forgotten the road to this place." "Was notthat a hasty conclusion?" said Theodore. "I think not," she answered,"if your long absence should be construed into neglect. But we will hearyour excuse," said she, smiling, "by and by, and perhaps pardon you."
[_A&M_:
The next day he repaired to her father's. He enquired for Melissa, she was gone with a party to the shores of the sound, attended by Beauman. At evening they returned. Beauman and Alonzo addressed each other with much seeming cordiality. "You have deceived us, Alonzo, (said Melissa)--We concluded you had forgotten the road to this place." "Was not that a hasty conclusion?" replied Alonzo. "I think not, she answered, if your long absence should be construed into neglect. But we will hear your excuse (said she smiling) by and by, and perhaps pardon you."]
He thanked her for her condescension.
[_A&M_:
He thanked her for her condescension.]
The next morning Bonville set out to go to New-York. Theodore observedthat he took particular leave of Alida, telling her, in a low voice,that he should have the happiness of seeing her again, within two orthree weeks certainly.
[_A&M_:
The next morning Beauman set out for New-London; Alonzo observed that he took a tender leave of Melissa, telling her in a low voice that he should have the happiness of seeing her again within two or three weeks.]
After he was gone, as Alida and Theodore were sitting in the room alone,"Well," said she, "am I to hear your excuses, Theodore?" "For what,madam?" "For neglecting your friends." "I hope it is not so considered,madam." "Seriously, then, why have you stayed away so long? Has thisplace no charms in the absence of my brother?"
[_A&M_:
After he was gone, as Melissa and Alonzo were sitting in a room alone, "well, (said she) am I to hear your excuses?"
Alonzo. For what, madam?
Melissa. For neglecting your friends.
Al. I hope it is not so considered, madam.
Mel. Seriously, then, why have you stayed away so long? Has this place no charms in the absence of my brother?]
"Would my presence have added to your felicity, Alida?" "You never camean unwelcome visiter here." "Perhaps I might be sometimes intrusive whenBonville is your guest." "I have supposed you were on friendly terms,"said she. "We are, but there are seasons when friendship must yield itspretensions to a superior claim."
[_A&M_:
Al. Would my presence have added to your felicity, Melissa?
Mel. You never came an unwelcome visitor here.
Al. Perhaps I might be sometimes intrusive.
Mel. What times?
Al. When Beauman is your guest.
Mel. I have supposed you were on friendly terms.
Al. We are.
Mel. Why then intrusive?
Al. There are seasons when friendship must yield its pretensions to a superior claim.
...]
"Will you answer me one question, Alida, are you engaged to Bonville?""He has asked me the same question concerning you," replied she,(blushing.)
[_A&M_:
Al. Will you, Melissa, answer me one question? ... Al. Are you engaged to Beauman?
Mel. [blushing] He has asked me the same question concerning you.]
"Do you," continued Theodore, "prefer him to any other?" Alida,(blushing deeply.) "He has made the same inquiries respecting you."
[_A&M_:
Al. Do you prefer him to any other?
Mel. [deeply blushing, her eyes cast upon the floor] He has made the same enquiry respecting you.]
"I beg, madam, you will deal with me candidly," said Theodore, (takingher hand with anxiety.) "I am entitled to no claims, but you know whatmy heart would ask. I will bow to your decision. Bonville or Theodoremust relinquish their pretensions. We cannot share the blessing."
[_A&M_:
Al. [Taking her hand with anxiety] Melissa, I beg you will deal candidly. I am entitled to no claims, but you know what my heart would ask. I will bow to your decision. Beauman or Alonzo must relinquish their pretensions. We cannot share the blessing.]
The cheeks of Alida were suffused with a varying glow, her lips werepale, her voice tremulous, and her eyes cast down. "My father hasinformed me," she said, "that it is improper to receive the particularaddresses of more than one. I am conscious of my inadvertency, and thatthe reproof is just. One, therefore, must be dismissed." But, (sheblushed deeper,) and a considerable pause ensued.
[_A&M_:
Mel. [Her cheeks suffused with a varying glow, her lips pale, her voice tremulous, her eyes still cast down.] My parents have informed me that it is improper to receive the particular addresses of more than one. I am conscious of my inadvertency, and that the reproof is just. One therefore must be dismissed. But--[she blushed.]
A considerable pause ensued.]
At length Theodore arose. "I will not press you further," said he."I know the delicacy of your feelings; I know your sincerity; I will nottherefore insist on your performing the painful task of deciding againstme. Your conduct in every point of view has been discreet. I would haveno just claims, or if I had, your heart must sanction them, or theywould be unhallowed, and unjustifiable. I shall ever
pray for yourfelicity. Our affections are not under our direction; our happinessdepends on our obedience to their mandates. Whatever, then, may be mysufferings, you are unblameable, and irreproachable."
[_A&M_:
At length Alonzo arose--"I will not press you farther, [said he] I know the delicacy of your feeling, I know your sincerity; I will not therefore insist on your performing the painful task of deciding against me. Your conduct, in every point of view, has been discreet. I could have no just claims, or if I had, your heart must sanction them or they would be unhallowed and unjustifiable.--I shall ever pray for your felicity. Our affections are not under our direction; our happiness depends on our obedience to their mandates. Whatever, then, may be my sufferings, you are unblamable and irreproachable."]
He took his hat in extreme agitation, and prepared himself to takeleave. Alida had recovered in some degree from her embarrassment, andcollected her scattered spirits.
[_A&M_:
He took his hat in extreme agitation, and prepared to take his leave.
Melissa had recovered in some degree from her embarrassment, and collected her scattered spirits.]
"Your conduct, Theodore," said she, "is generous and noble. Will yougive yourself the trouble, and do me the honour to see me once more?""I will," said he, "at any time you shall appoint."
[_A&M_:
"Your conduct, Alonzo, (said she) is generous and noble. Will you give yourself the trouble, and do me the honor to see me once more?" "I will, [said he] at any time you shall appoint."]
"Four weeks, then," said she, "from this day, honour me with a visit,and you shall have my decision, and receive my final answer." "I will bepunctual to the day," he replied, and bade her adieu.
[_A&M_:
"Four weeks, then, [she said] from this day, honor me with a visit, and you shall have my decision, and receive my final answer." "I will be punctual to the day," he replied, and bade her adieu.]
Theodore's hours from this time winged heavily away. His wontedcheerfulness fled; he wooed the silent and solitary haunts of musing,moping melancholy. He loved to wander through lonely fields, when dewytwilight robed the evening mild, or to trace the forest glen, throughwhich the moon darted her silvery intercepted rays. His agitatedthoughts preyed upon his peace incessantly, and deeply disturbed hisrepose.
[_A&M_:
Alonzo's hours now winged heavily away. His wonted cheerfulness fled; he wooed the silent and solitary haunts of "musing, moping melancholy." He loved to wander through lonely fields, or along the verge of some lingering stream, "when dewy twilight rob'd the evening mild," or "to trace the forest glen, thro' which the moon darted her silvery intercepted ray."
He was fondly indulging a tender passion, which preyed upon his peace, and deeply disturbed his repose.]
He looked anxiously to the hour when Alida was to make the decision. Hewished, yet dreaded the event. In that he foresaw, or thought heforesaw, a withering blight to all his hopes, and a final consummationto his foreboding fears. He had pressed Alida, perhaps too urgently, toa declaration. Had her predilection been in his favour, would she havehesitated to avow it? Her father had advised her to relinquish one, andto retain the other, nor had he attempted to influence or direct herchoice. Was it not evident, then, from her confused hesitation andembarrassment, when solicited to discriminate upon the subject, that herultimate decision would be in favour of Bonville?
[_A&M_:
He looked anxiously to the hour when Melissa was to make her decision. He wished, yet dreaded the event. In that he foresaw, or thought he foresaw, a withering blight to his budding hopes, and a final consummation to his foreboding fears. He had pressed Melissa, perhaps too urgently, to a declaration. Had her predilection been in his favor, would she have hesitated to avow it? Her parents had advised her to relinquish and had permitted her to retain one suitor, nor had they attempted to influence or direct her choice. Was it not evident, then, from her confused hesitation and embarrassment, when solicited to discriminate upon the subject, that her ultimate decision would be in favor of Beauman?]
While Theodore's mind was thus in agitation, he received a second letterfrom his friend in the neighbourhood of Alida. He read the followingclause therein with emotions more easily to be conceived than expressed:"Alida's wedding-day is appointed. I need not tell you that Bonville isto be the happy deity of the hymenial sacrifice. I had it from his owndeclaration. He did not name the positive day, but it is certainly to besoon. You will undoubtedly, however, have timely notice, and receive aninvitation."
[_A&M_:
While Alonzo's mind was thus agitated, he received a second letter from his friend in the neighborhood of Melissa. He read the following clause therein with emotion more easily to be conceived than expressed:--
"Melissa's wedding day is appointed. I need not tell you that Beauman is to be the happy deity of the Hymeneal sacrifice. I had this from his own declaration. He did not name the positive day, but it is certainly to be soon. You will undoubtedly, however, have timely notice, as a guest."]
"We must pour out a liberal libation upon the mystic altar, Theodore,and twine the nuptial garland with wreaths of joy. Bonville shoulddevote a rich offering to so valuable a prize. He has been here for aweek, and departed for New-York yesterday, but is shortly to return."
[_A&M_:
"We must pour a liberal libation upon the mystic altar, Alonzo, and twine the nuptial garland with wreaths of joy. Beauman ought to devote a rich offering to so valuable a prize. He has been here for a week, and departed for New-London yesterday, but is shortly to return."]
And why have I ever doubted this event? said Theodore. What infatuationhath then led me on in the pursuit of fantastic and unreal bliss? I havehad, it is true, no positive assurances that Alida would be disposed tofavour my addresses. But why did she ever receive them? Why did sheenchantingly smile upon me? Why fascinate the soft powers of my heart bythat winning mildness, and the favourable display of those complicatedand superior attractions which she must have known were irresistible?And now she would have me dance attendance to her decision in favour ofanother--insulting; let Bonville and herself make it, as they haveformed this farcical decision. I absolutely will never attend it. Whydid she not spurn me from her confidence, and plainly tell me that myattentions were untimely and improper?
[_A&M_:
"And why have I ever doubted this event? [said Alonzo.] What infatuation hath thus led me on the pursuit of fantastic and unreal bliss? I have had, it is true, no positive assurance that Melissa would favor my addresses. But why did she ever receive them? Why did she enchantingly smile upon me? Why fascinate the tender powers of my soul by that winning mildness, and the favorable display of those complicated and superior attractions which she must have known were irresistible? Why did she not spurn me from her confidence, and plainly tell me that my attentions were untimely and improper?--And now she would have me dance attendance to her decision, in favor of Beauman--Insulting! Let Beauman and she make, as they have formed, this farcical decision; I absolutely will never attend it.]
But, I have engaged to see her at an appointed time; my honour istherefore pledged for an interview; it must take place. I shallendeavour to support it with becoming dignity, and I will convince Alidaand Bonville, that I am not the dupe of their caprices. But, let meconsider--What has Alida done to deserve censure or reproach? Herbrother was my early friend; she has treated me as a friend to thatbrother. She was unconscious of the affection which her charms andmental graces had kindled in my bosom. Her evident embarrassment, onreceiving my declaration, witnessed her surprise and prior attachment.What could she do to save herself the pain of a direct denial? She hasappointed a day when her refusal may come in a more delicate and formalmanner--and I must therefore meet it.
[_A&M_:
--But stop:--I have engaged to see her at an appointed time; my honor is theref
ore pledged for an interview; it must take place. I shall support it with becoming dignity, and I will convince Melissa and Beauman that I am not the dupe of their caprices. But let me consider--What has Melissa done to deserve censure or reproach? Her brother was my early friend--she has treated me as a friend to her brother. She was unconscious of the flame which her charms had kindled in my bosom. Her evident embarrassment and confusion on receiving my declaration, witnessed her surprise and prior attachment. What could she do? To save herself the pain of a direct denial she has appointed a day when her refusal may come in a more delicate and formal manner--and I must meet it."]
Alida; or, Miscellaneous Sketches of Incidents During the Late American War. Page 47
