by Krista Lakes
Dennis laughed. “He’s close enough for me. Is he here?”
“James, here?” I laughed, glancing around Annie's place. “He's almost a billionaire. No reason for him to come to Annie's.”
“Good,” Dennis said, his eyes scanning the room anyway. “You know, I had a little bit of a crush on you when you were a freshman, but I didn’t have the balls to ask you out.”
I blushed and smiled. “Well, you should have just said something. I would have said yes.”
“That’s not why I didn’t ask,” he said, laughing. “Your brother made it clear to all of us just what would happen if we tried anything with you. You were off limits. Especially after what he did to that Tim Volker kid.”
“He didn’t do anything to Tim Volker,” I said, remembering that day.
I was a freshman at my locker and Tim, who was a creep with a date rapist reputation even in high school, had stopped me and asked me out. I was too nervous to say no and tried to talk my way around him, but whenever I tried to leave he blocked me from going, or grabbed my arm and pushed me back against my locker.
Then out of nowhere James was there, like a guardian angel answering my prayers. He slammed Tim back against the wall of lockers and just stared him down until Tim raised his hands, apologized, and walked away.
Tim never spoke to me again after that.
It was one of the few truly nice things James ever did. And in typical James fashion, when I went to thank him for it later, he acted like a jerk. He said he had no idea what I was talking about and told me to stop stalking him around school. His friends were all around, and their laughs had followed me all the way down the hall as I ran away.
“He just threw Tim against the lockers,” I said with a shrug. “It was nothing.”
Dennis shook his head. “No. Like a week later he literally beat him bloody at a party. Don’t you remember he had stitches over his eyebrow for like a month?”
I didn’t, but then I had barely seen Tim again after that day at the lockers. “I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, well. Needless to say no one was eager to see if Tim was a special case or a warning to the rest of us. Your stepbrother's got a bit of protective streak.”
I realized more than ever how much I didn’t understand my stepbrother. He was a jerk, but then, out of nowhere, he could transform into a knight in shining armor and ride in to save the day.
It was like the day he left for college. I had gone to his room to confront him, to try to make him realize how he had ruined my life. I walked into his room, ready to bitch him out. Without letting me say anything, he grabbed me, hugged me, and told me that he “wasn’t into tearful goodbyes”. It was a line that to this day I had trouble believing actually came out of that cruel, smirking mouth.
“Allie?” Dennis said. “You all right?”
“Sorry,” I said, returning to planet earth. “I think I just need to get some air.”
“Mind if I join you?” He pushed back the empty glass and tapped his jacket pocket. I heard the dull sound of a cigarette box.
“Not at all. Company is always nice,” I replied.
Dennis threw a couple of bills down on the bar and then guided me out of the bar area and out of the restaurant. Audrey waved as I left, her face darkening slightly as she saw who I was leaving with. I waved back, but didn't stop.
Outside it was freezing. Even with my coat on, the cold winter air was sucking the heat straight out of me. I could see my breath freeze on the dark air and flickering in the pale streetlamp light. Dennis kept walking, moving away from the restaurant and out toward the dark parking lot.
“Where are you going?” I called out. He turned, half his face masked in darkness. The street lamp for the parking lot was burned out.
“To my car. We can sit in there so we don't freeze.”
I pursed my lips. It seemed obvious enough what he was trying and I wasn’t adverse to the idea of feeling his lips on mine. I had certainly wanted it at one point. But something bothered me, and I hesitated.
“Or we could just go back inside,” he offered lamely. I hated the way he said it. Like I wasn't worth the effort. This was my shot at redemption, and I wasn't about to let some vague uneasiness make me give it up. “You probably don't smoke anyway.”
“No, lets go to your car.” The last thing I wanted was to get my old reputation back.
But once I got sat down in the passenger seat, Dennis made it clear he had no intentions of lighting up. His hand knocked my coat open and reached for my bare thigh, sliding up under my dress before I could even yell at him to stop. I had only had a couple of sips of beer and was no where close to being ready for that much that fast. I wanted redemption, some making out, maybe a little more. Something that he could brag a little to his friends and I wouldn't be the pariah anymore. However, I did not want to go all the way in the back seat of Dennis' car in the dark parking lot. “Hey!”
“What?” he said, grinning. He leaned in and kissed me, but I pulled away. He tasted like bad beer and stale cigarettes. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” I said, pushing his hand out from under my skirt. This wasn't going quite the way I had imagined. “Just, take it easy. It’s not a race.”
His eyes darkened and his body stiffened. I had embarrassed him, which was the last thing I wanted to do. This was my chance to get back in Springfield's popular kids' good graces and lose my awful reputation. I wouldn't have to be a social pariah if Dennis gave me his approval.
“All right,” he huffed, leaning back in his seat. He turned on the car to fire up the heater, then reached in his breast pocket for his cigarettes. He offered me one.
I tried to smooth his ruffled feathers back down. “Can I just smoke some of yours?” I fluttered my eyelashes and did my best to look demure. It usually worked for me.
“Sure,” he said. He lit up and took a drag, then passed it to me. I took a much smaller drag and passed it back, coughing. He laughed. “Not a regular smoker?”
“No. Only when I drink.”
He took another few drags, staring ahead, still not happy with me. I needed to fix this and fast. I reached out and touched his face, turning him to face me. I hoped he wouldn’t still be mad at me for asking him to slow down.
But he smiled as I stroked his cheek, then leaned in, slowly this time, and kissed me.
I tried to kiss him back, but when I opened my mouth he pushed his tongue in, aggressive and rough all over again. The taste of old cigarettes was overwhelming. His hand groped and grabbed, nearly giving me bruises with the intensity of his grip. Way, way too much.
I pushed him off of me, my skin crawling this time. “Maybe this was a bad idea,” I said.
“What’s your problem?”
“Nothing,” I said, all those silent alarms a girl learns to program when she grows up sounding off in my head. I took a deep breath and coughed on the smoke in the car. “I just like to go slow, okay?”
But he was angry now. He took a hard drag off of his cigarette and flicked it out of his cracked window. It was time for me to leave. If I left now, I could say I felt sick. That the smoke was bothering me. It wouldn't be a death sentence for what little reputation I had.
Before I could turn for the door handle he had already turned around and grabbed for me again, his hand back on my bare thigh and the other pulling me towards him.
“Knock it off, Dennis!” I shouted, swatting at him. But he just grabbed my arm and pulled it down into his crotch, forcing me to feel his hard on. Disgust curled up in my stomach like a snake and I was afraid I actually might be ill.
“Come on, I know you want it,” he smirked. “Nobody likes a tease.”
“Dennis! Stop it!” Panic was starting to well up inside of me. I needed to figure out an escape route. I needed a plan. I needed to...
Dennis’ door suddenly opened, the cold air rushing inside, and with the wintry air two big arms in a navy peacoat. The gloved hands seized him and pulled him hard from the
car. I saw the look of absolute shock on his face just before he was dragged out of his seat and onto the wet muddy parking lot ground.
James leaned down into the open door, his eyes smoldering. “Get out, Allie.”
I obeyed, mindless in my shock, and scrambled out of the car. I nearly fell over on my high heels. I pulled my coat tight around me and started to circle the car.
“Stay,” James said, giving me another look before turning his attention to Dennis, who was getting back on to his feet.
“What the fuck, James? These are brand new clothes,” Dennis said. The pale light from the restaurant was just bright enough to let me see his unhappy movements.
James took a threatening step towards Dennis. My heart pounded, I was afraid for Dennis and what James was going to do to him. Dennis had been drinking and James had a good ten pounds of muscle on him. Dennis was a jerk but he didn’t deserve to get beaten up, and anyway everything was my fault. He was drunk and I shouldn't have led him on. I had just wanted to change things up from the way they had always been.
“I could have sworn I made this clear years ago,” James growled.
“She wanted to come out here!” Dennis shouted, gesturing wildly at me. Little bits of mud flung up in the air.
“Maybe, maybe not. But this isn’t about her. It’s about you, Dennis.”
Dennis brushed off his slacks as he stood up. “Fuck,” he mumbled, surveying his ruined clothes. He looked over at me, his eyes dark. He definitely blamed me for this. My heart sank.
“It’s true,” I said. This was still salvageable. “I asked him to come out here. Leave him alone, James.”
But James wasn't about to let this go. He seized hold of Dennis and swung him against the car. Dennis' body made a damp thud against the metal.
“James!” I shouted.
“Allie, go get in my car and shut up.” When I didn’t move, he glared. “Now.”
“No. I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“Allie. Get in my car.”
“Only if you let him go.”
“Now.”
“No.”
James glared at me, mulling it over. It took a moment, but he released him. He dusted his gloved hands off as if he had something dirty on them from touching Dennis. “If I ever see you trying to push yourself on my sister again, she won’t be able to save your ass.”
Dennis nodded. “Fine. Nothing even happened, man.”
James gave him a look of death before turning and walking away. He grabbed my arm, pulling me along back into the light of the restaurant where James' car sat idling. “Let’s go.”
***
We drove home in silence. James seemed to have let his rage go as soon as we pulled out of the parking lot, but not me. I had been too startled and caught off guard to make sense of what had been happening in the parking lot, but now, in the silence of the car ride home, I had plenty of time to sort my feelings and to let what just happened sink in.
James had just invaded and ruined my life again. I couldn’t even have one night, one night to maybe get the world of Springfield to change its opinion of me, to move myself out from under all the wreckage James started heaping on my social life four years ago.
It had to be his personal mission in life to ruin mine. There was no other way that he could do this to me. It had to be a sick desire to see me suffer.
He must have saw my face because he let out a long suffering sigh. “How can you possibly be mad at me?”
I didn’t answer him. Maybe he would figure it out himself. Mr. Billionaire should be smart enough to figure this out. He had figured out I was at Annie's easily enough.
But he just laughed, that deep, gravely laugh. “Incredible. She tries to get herself raped, I save her ass, and I’m the bad guy.”
I stared out my window, trying not to take his bait. I didn't deserve this.
“You should be thanking me. If Aubrey hadn't called to let me know you were with Springfield's favorite creeper, who knows what that creep would have done. Dennis-fucking-Kamp.” He shook his head. “Fucking prick.”
Finally, I couldn’t shut up any longer.
“You didn’t save me from anything I couldn’t handle,” I snapped. “And even if you did, you’ve managed to humiliate me again in the process, which is worse than anything Dennis Kamp was going to do to me in that car.”
James mouth fell open and his eyes went wide. I was almost afraid he would drive us off the road his shock was so big. “How could I have possibly humiliated you?”
I shook my head. “Don’t act dumb. It doesn't become you,” I mimicked one of his favorite expressions and rolled my eyes. “What do you think Dennis is going to say about what happened? That he was being grabby and my big brother came in and stopped him from date raping me?” I let out a short bark of a laugh. “No. I’ll just be a slut or a tease or whatever terrible thing he can think to say about me to make himself look better now that you humiliated him.”
“He won’t say anything,” James said. “Not if he likes walking, anyway.”
“Would you just stop? He's going to say whatever he has to to keep his reputation.” I sighed and leaned back in my chair, incredulous. “I mean, who do you think you are? I didn’t ask you to do me any favors. God knows I’ve learned not to do that over the years.”
James glanced over at me. We were the only ones on the road and his headlights were the only light for miles.
“Ok, now you’ve lost me. What are you talking about?” he asked.
I laughed, a crazy, shrill, hysterical laugh. There was no way he didn't know what he did to me. It was too intentional, too cruel to be by accident.
“Please tell me you’re kidding? Tell me you’re just trying to make me angry by pretending you don’t even realize how you totally ruined my high school life by being a total jack ass?”
James braked hard, and I fell forward as the car slowed rapidly. It was a good thing there wasn't anyone else on the road, or they would have hit us.
He turned in his seat, dark eyes serious and focused entirely on me. The full weight of his gaze was almost too much to bear. “I’m not trying to piss you off, Allie. I know I wasn’t always the nicest guy with you, but I hardly think you could accuse me of ruining your life.”
I shook my head. My throat tightened. I had wanted to confront him with this for years and now I suddenly had the chance and didn't feel prepared at all. “Do you remember my first day as a freshman? When I asked you for a ride.”
He paused before answering. “Yes,” he said carefully, his eyes never leaving me.
“Well, after you basically treated me like garbage every senior girl decided I was fair game for torture, and after they graduated the junior girls picked up where they left off. I was a game to them. If I told you some of the things they did to me...”
“I was just a stupid kid trying to look cool. I wasn't trying to ruin your life, Allie.”
“I don’t care! And that’s just one example of a thousand others.”
“Well...” He drew in a deep breath, as if it was hard for him to say it. “I’m sorry.”
I laughed in his face. “No, you don’t get to do that.”
“What? I said I was sorry.” Confusion filled his handsome features. “If I really caused you that much pain, I’m truly sorry.”
I stopped, my rage still frothing. But he had thrown me off balance. He actually looked sincere, as if he were really just a clueless idiot that didn’t know any better and felt bad about it now. Hell no, I wasn’t letting him off that easy. He had ruined too much already.
I tried to stoke my anger, to get back on track with my rant. “You don’t get to be a jerk your whole life and just say sorry and everything is better. That’s not how it works, James. You can’t just randomly be nice and think everything is perfect. You can’t just...”
I felt his warm hand on my cheek. He turned my face towards his and he silenced me with his lips.
I pushed him off of me and sla
pped his face. “What the fuck! You can’t...”
He took my face in both his hands again. Leaving no room for argument or escape this time, he crushed my mouth under his.
I gave in, more than willing to melt in his hands as his tongue dipped into my mouth, tasting and teasing mine. I kissed him back, stronger, fiercer, until my lips hurt from being pressed so hard against his. He bit at them playfully, moved his wet lips hungrily across my jaw line, down my neck and back up to kiss and lick my mouth again. I felt the intensity of his need and wanted desperately to reach down and feel for it in those tight blue jeans of his. I was practically humping the air in between us when he finally, unexpectedly, broke the kiss.
I panted, staring at him, feeling my lips swollen, my nipples peaking so hard they hurt, my belly aching with a horrible empty feeling. I wanted him inside of me. But I didn’t want to make love or have sex. I wanted him to fuck me, to feel the weight of his hard body against mine, to feel his marvelous cock thrusting deep into me with his violent desire until he came inside of me again and again.
I squirmed on my seat, waiting for him to grab hold of me, desperate to feel the heat of his touch again.
He stared back, his breath just as short as mine.
“We better get home,” he said, finally, his eyes not letting mine go.
I nodded, nervous and scared but still shaking with lust. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”
He turned away and put the car in drive, then pulled back onto the road. I sat back straight in my chair, fixing my skirt, trying not to think too directly about anything, trying not to think how wet the leather seat underneath of me was going to be when I got up.
When we got home we went to our separate rooms without a word.
I didn’t bother to get out of my dress before crawling into my bed. I was so exhausted, but it still took hours to fall asleep.
Chapter Seven
When I woke up in the morning, I was sure I had dreamed the whole thing. There was no way James could have kissed me. None.
