by Krista Lakes
I almost texted him again at twenty-two minutes to ask him if he had gotten my text, but I managed to stop myself.
At twenty-eight minutes, I couldn't stop myself any longer. I sent him the text asking if he had gotten my previous text. No response.
At forty-five minutes, I heard an announcement that my flight was beginning to board. I had one bite of the spinach artichoke dip even though I didn't have an appetite, then paid for it and got over to my gate.
As I walked in line down the gate to get on the plane, I kept thinking I felt the vibration of my phone going off. I would check it, and there would be nothing there. The Phantom Vibration kept going off every few seconds until finally I decided to just ignore it and wait until I got to my seat.
My row was empty when I got there, but I knew that they packed every person that they could on these flights. Luckily, I had a window seat, my preference.
People continued to file into the plane as I pulled out my phone. Still nothing. As the number of people standing began to dwindle, a flight attendant walked by, closing all the overhead storage bins. She looked at me, stating, “Ma'am, you're going to need to shut that phone off before takeoff.” She kept walking, not making sure I actually turned it off.
I looked at the time on the clock. It had been seventy-eight minutes since I had sent him the picture, and by now, I had to assume that he just wasn't going to respond. Maybe he thought I was making it up, that that hadn't actually been what I was hiding. Maybe he was lawyering up, getting ready to have me sign some other humiliating agreement with a monetary payout, like he had offered Audrey.
Maybe he just didn't care.
As my finger pressed the power button on the top of my phone and held it down, I felt an enormous amount of sadness. I was sure that this was “Goodbye” between James and I. My phone shut off, and as it did, I felt like my own emotions shut down. I leaned my head against the window and looked outside at the darkened airport. Without thinking, my fingers went to my belly, simply for comfort this time. I was too drained to even cry, but I knew how terrible I must have looked.
Someone sat in the seat next to me, and I felt self conscious about them seeing me like this. I didn't ever wear makeup, but I knew that my cheeks were bright red and that my eyes were probably bloodshot and had puffy bags under them.
“If you need to, you can use my shoulder to cry,” a familiar voice said. I cursed myself, thinking that I was so distraught that my mind was playing tricks on me. Still, I had to look at whoever had offered.
My mind hadn't been playing tricks on me. And, even though his smile was weaker than usual, it still managed to melt my heart.
“We have a lot to talk about,” James said.
Chapter Forty-Two
I blinked once. Twice. Though the tears in my eyes made it hard to see, I knew it was James. There could be no doubting that voice, that smile, that smell.
“James!” I cried, maybe a little too loudly. I saw a flight attendant turn toward me, the same one that had told me I had to silence my phone. I moved to hug him, but stopped short. Just because he was here didn't mean that he was happy to see me. It didn't mean that he wanted this baby or that things were cleared up between us.
It just meant that he had gotten my text.
I swallowed hard. “James,” I repeated, this time a little more reserved as I folded my hands into my lap. “What are you doing here?”
He sighed. “We need to talk, Allie.”
I nodded, looking down at my feet. I risked a glance up at him. His face was made of stone and his green eyes were dark and angry. This wasn't exactly how I wanted to tell him that I was expecting, but I didn't feel like I had much of a choice.
A man made it to where we were on the plane and practically threw his bag up into the overhead compartment. He looked like he had been drinking all evening, and he was probably big enough that the airline would make him buy two seats. However, it seemed that they hadn't, because he sat down in our row. James made an annoyed sound as the very large man smushed into the aisle seat next to him.
“Not here, though.” he said, glaring at me. “Let's go.”
“Okay,” I replied, grabbing my bag from under the seat. Hope was starting to grow, flickering and dancing around in my stomach and chest, trying to catch fire and spread. I kept tamping it down, knowing that one word from him would send me careening into despair. Yet, so far, he hadn't said or done anything to make me think he wouldn't accept the child.
We both crawled over the man in the aisle seat. It wasn't easy. But we managed to do it and started walking down the aisle to get to the exit at the front of the plane.
The flight attendant came out of nowhere and held up her hand, blocking our escape completely.
“I'm very sorry, but you two need to sit down. We're about to take off,” the flight attendant informed us.
“We're getting off the plane.” James said, glaring at her.
“That's not possible,” she said, motioning to the doors. “The doors are closed. We're taking off in two minutes. Sit down.”
“Do you know who I am? I'm not staying on this flight. Especially not in coach.” James rose to his full height.
The flight attendant leveled her gaze at him, completely unimpressed. “I don't care if you're the President of the United States. This flight is taking off, so sit your butt down.” She was intimidating. “Sit. Down. Now.”
“You don't understand, miss...” I interjected, giving her a friendly smile and hoping that my bloodshot eyes would make her feel sorry for us.
“I don't care what your problem is, either. It's not possible.” She waved her hand dismissively at us. “Sit. Down.”
“Then we'll just move to first class,” James said, switching tactics. He flashed her his billionaire sweet-talking smile. “I'll pay whatever the fee is and also make it worth your time as well.”
If looks from this flight attendant could kill, James would have been dead and buried. I was actually rather impressed that she wasn't bowing to James. I knew I couldn't have said no to that smile of his.
“The flight is full. You see all those people behind you?” She motioned to audience behind us who was watching our every word. “They want to go home. So sit down.”
She crossed her arms and I knew that she wasn't going to bend on this, no matter how charming James' smiles were.
“But-” James tried one last time. The flight attendants look darkened and I was fairly sure she might murder us right there if we tried to argue again. She was tiny, but scary. There was no way we were getting off this flight. James' shoulders sagged as he relented. It wasn't worth the publicity or a fight right now. It was just a flight. “Yes, ma'am.”
We sheepishly retreated back down the aisle and crawled over the man in the aisle seat yet again.
“Damn,” he said as James and I put our seat belts back on. “I was really hoping I'd get the whole row to myself.” I glanced over and realized that he was half in James' seat.
“Yeah,” James agreed. “I thought we'd get the whole row too, especially when I bought both seats.”
The man snorted. “So you're the sucker that didn't show up. They sold me this seat at the last minute.”
“The airline will definitely be hearing about this,” James said. The other man had already stopped listening, though. He put on a big pair of sound-proof headphones and closed his eyes.
The flight attendants started the flight safety video and the plane started to taxi. The video barely ended as the plane lifted into the air. The flight attendant wasn't kidding about taking off in two minutes. She was correct almost to the second.
“So...” I swallowed down my nerves and bit my lip. “You got my text.”
“You're damn right I got your text,” James said. Then, he sighed. “That's not something you should put in a text message, Allie.”
“I didn't know how to tell you-”
“You fucking tell me,” he cut me off. He glanced around to make sure non
e of the other passengers were listening, but everyone was fully engrossed in their headphones and electronic devices. “You should have just told me.”
“You say that now, but you weren't exactly in a listening mood earlier.” I glared at him. “I never know how you're going to react and I really had no idea how you were going to react to this.”
“Allie, you should have told me.” He sounded so sure of himself that for a moment I almost believed him.
“Right. Okay,” I nodded and then crossed my arms and looked at him. “How would you have reacted if you had seen that picture on my phone?”
“Better than this,” he snapped.
I rolled my eyes and pantomimed looking at my phone. “Just scrolling through my pictures- oh, hey- there's Tessa making a duck face, a picture of you onstage, and oh... what's this?” I lowered my voice and glanced around making sure no one was listening. “A positive pregnancy test after you just finished fucking me without a condom. Yeah, that's going to end well.”
James' mouth tightened. “I fail to see where this is my fault, Allie. You're not being really fair right now.”
“You're absolutely right, it's not fair,” I said, exasperated. “But, that's where I was. You wanted to look at my phone, and I wasn't ready for you to see that. I wanted to tell you the right way, and I know that this isn't it, but neither was that.”
James let out a slow sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. I could tell it wasn't the first time today he'd made the gesture.
“It is yours, though. In case you were wondering,” I offered. “I haven't been with anyone else.”
“Good,” was all he said.
I thought of how I had imagined telling him. Something cute. Something when the two of us were alone and I could make it special. He'd gasp and take me in his arms, telling me how happy he was. How he'd always wanted this. We'd kiss and then go make sweet love and celebrate the life growing inside of me.
This was about as far from that dream reaction as I could get.
“What happens now?” I asked. Fear surged through my lungs and danced along my ribs. This was it. This was the do-or-die moment. Would he live up to my expectations or would he turn me away? My stomach churned and I looked for the little paper bag in the seat-back in front of me just in case I had to throw up. There wasn't anything in my stomach since I hadn't really eaten the artichoke dip, but I didn't want to risk it.
James ran his hand through his hair again and then rubbed the bridge of his nose like he was getting a headache. “I don't know, Allie.”
I stared at the paper bag, willing myself not to use it. Just because he didn't know, didn't mean that he didn't want me. Didn't want us.
“This wasn't in the plan,” James said after a moment. He stared straight ahead. “I'm working ninety hours a week. I travel constantly and I can't even keep a houseplant alive without someone else coming to water it.” He closed his eyes. “I'm still struggling with the idea.”
I tentatively held onto a thread of hope. He hadn't said he didn't want the child. He hadn't said that it wasn't possible. Just that it wasn't in the plan.
“I'm keeping it,” I told him, surprised at my own defensiveness. “I'm not going to terminate or give it up for adoption. This child is mine.”
His eyes went a little wide. “I would never-” He seemed to cut himself off to calm himself down. I knew what he was going to say and it made me smile.
“I know you'd never ask me to give it up. I just wanted to let you know what I was thinking,” I said softly.
“How did this happen, Allie?” James asked, ignoring my statement. His voice was low and dangerous. “Did you forget to take your pills? How could you let me... I could have worn a condom.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek for a moment. I could lie. Tell him it was an accident. Birth control pills were only 99% effective, it was plausible that we fell in the 1%. But I didn't want to lie to him. I didn't want this child's life to be based on a lie, any more than it already was.
“I wasn't on anything,” I said. My voice trembled slightly.
James gripped the arm rest of the chair until his fingers went white. “What?”
“I wasn't on anything,” I repeated, my heart sinking into my stomach. He was going to hate me. “I've wanted you for so long... and it was just too hot to stop.”
“Too hot to stop?” James raised his eyebrows. “You're smarter than that.”
“Yeah, well.” I blushed. Time to lay all my cards out on the table. “I kind of wanted this.”
“You wanted to be impregnated by your stepbrother?” James was incredulous.
“I wanted to be impregnated by you,” I shot back. “I wanted you to be the father of my child. I always have.”
James leaned back into the seat and let out a long breath. He stared up at the ceiling for a moment, his brain obviously racing. I picked at my fingernails, needing something to keep my hands busy. I couldn't believe I had just told him that. That was probably the last thing in the world I should have said. Now he was just going to think I was a gold digger or that I was sick in the head.
I should have just stuck to the “it was too hot to stop” line.
“Anyway, I'm keeping it.” I tipped my chin up, determined to be brave. “You can choose to be a part of their life or not. But, I'm having this baby.”
“You think I wouldn't be a part of my child's life?” James rounded on me, his eyes blazing. “If it is my child, I'll be his father.”
My heart melted. He wasn't going to abandon us. He was going to be the man I knew he was and take this child as his own. I hadn't ever really doubted that he would, but the fear had still been there until I heard the heat in his voice.
“Or her father,” I corrected softly.
“What?” James looked confused for a moment.
“You said his father. It could be a girl.”
“Then I'll be her father,” he repeated. Something in James' face melted. He grew softer around the eyes and more gentle around the mouth. It made his handsome face somehow even more attractive.
Someone walked down the aisle at that moment, and bumped the arm of the man sitting in the aisle seat. Since he was half in James' seat anyway, the motion rippled into James. The man's elbow landed squarely in James' ribs. James glared at the man, rubbing the spot where the man had elbowed him. The guy didn't even open his eyes.
“I'm a fucking billionaire and I'm in fucking coach,” James whispered under his breath. “What the hell did I do to deserve this?”
I giggled and James glared at me. I promptly hid my smile behind my hand. It took a moment but I straightened out my face. “So, what do you want to do next?” I asked.
“Besides get the fuck off this airplane?” James shot another evil look at the man as he got bumped yet again. “I'm still working on that part. Obviously, we can't tell anyone.”
“I know.” I rubbed my stomach, thinking of how it was going to start growing. We had a few months before people started asking questions at least. “What about Dad and Nancy?”
“Especially not Frank and Mom.” James said, paling slightly. “I like your dad, remember? I'd rather not have him shoot me for knocking up his daughter. His daughter that I'm supposed to look out for like an older brother. No one can know.”
“Okay,” I said with a nod. “So, no one will know.”
“They can't,” James insisted. “Seriously, nobody can know. I am my business. News like this would shake people's confidence in my company. A company that employs hundreds.”
“When people start asking, I'll say it was some guy at school,” I told him. “No one will ask questions. You can stay separate from this.”
“I'm sorry, Allie, but that's how it has to be,” James said with another sigh. “I wish it could be different, but people's livelihoods are at stake here. If my business goes under, a lot of families go hungry. I can't risk them.”
“I know. I understand.” I hated the way my eyes teared up. I wanted James
to be a father, not an uncle. “It'll just look like you're a doting uncle to your unwise, unwed sister.”
“Allie, I'll take care of you.” James took my hand in his. “I just can't claim the child as mine. Even though I want to.”
“You do?” I sniffled and wiped at my cheek. I didn't mean to cry, but I couldn't help it. Damn hormones.
“Yes.” James reached out and carefully brushed a tear from my cheek. His fingers were calloused from playing guitar, but his touch was soft and gentle. “Of course I do. I love you, Allie.”
My pulse fluttered and if I hadn't been sitting down, I would have collapsed.
“You do?”
He smiled at me, his green eyes the only thing I could see with my blurry tear-filled ones.
“Yes.” He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “I thought it was pretty obvious by now.”
I burst into full out sobs. Whether it was stress, hormones, lack of sleep, or the sheer emotion of being loved by James, I couldn't control myself. He leaned over and wrapped his strong arms around me. He smelled so good and felt so strong. I was safe when I was with him.
He ran his hand over my hair, making small soothing noises as he comforted me. I wasn't alone. I had James. Even if he couldn't acknowledge that the baby was his in public, we wouldn't be alone. But most importantly, he loved me.
The flight attendant from earlier stopped at our row, but James just held me tighter and waved her on.
“You know, it's customary to say something back when someone tells you they love you,” James teased once my sobs quieted.
I giggled through my tears. Leave it to James to make this about him. I sniffled, and looked up at him.
“I love you, too.” I grinned. “I thought it was pretty obvious by now.”
James laughed and pulled me back into him. I loved the way he felt wrapped around me. I tucked my head on his shoulder. For right now, I felt like I could do this. James would be with me every step of the way with the pregnancy and then he'd be as much of a father as he could be without jeopardizing his company.
