by Sara Brookes
“One night, I watched him try to pick a fight with Mom. Something in me snapped. I couldn’t watch him hurt her anymore. I stepped between them and when he went for me, I fought back for the very first time. I stood up to him because I knew it was the right thing to do. He made sure I paid for my disobedience by beating the hell out of me on our front lawn. Right in full view of the entire neighborhood and our neighbors who did nothing because they feared his wrath as much as we did.
“The cops threw him in jail and, thankfully, that was the last any of us saw of him. When they took me to the hospital, the doctors told me I would never play baseball again. Nearly every ligament in my shoulder had been torn in some fashion. Being the arrogant son of a bitch I was, I played the state tournament anyway. You know the rest. It’s because of him that I vowed to never, ever hit a submissive for any reason, be it with a whip, a flogger or my own hand. Even for pleasure.”
“I’m very sorry you had to grow up that way.”
Her voice hinted of sympathy. One thing he would not have was for her to feel any sort of pity for that monster or the brief glimpse of the one residing in him. “Don’t be. He’s dead now and doesn’t deserve to have anyone think about him for even a second.” He skimmed his fingers against the glass, using the chill of the condensed water on the side to cool this irritation.
“I let my anger get the best of me. It scared me because I realized I was very capable of being just as much of an asshole as he was. I’m sorry. I’ve regretted what I said. Most of all I regret what I did every instant since that night. I never intended to say any of those things to you. Nor do my best imitation of a foolish buffoon. I’m not perfect and I have flaws—a lot of them. Those guys are foremost your friends and I respect that choice. Just as I respect you. I should have told you all of this long ago so you didn’t come to believe I was some kind of emotionless bastard set on controlling you.”
“Yes, you really should have.”
“I wanted to apologize about what an ass I’d made of myself, I did. I wanted to fix what I’d done. I tried, but I think I just made things worse. Then I got the phone call about Mom getting hurt. Then there just wasn’t time. But that’s no excuse.”
He suddenly felt a little claustrophobic surrounded by the light dinner crowd. He needed a little more open space so he could breathe deep and not feel crowded by the memories hovering over the table. “Listen, can we get out of here? I need some air.”
She nodded and before long, they were walking down the sidewalk side by side. Dusk blanketed the sky as the sun began to dip below the horizon. Soon the antique streetlamps would switch on, casting puddles of light to illuminate the concrete.
He fiddled with the change in his pocket. “I would have called you later tonight if you hadn’t showed up at Perfect Shot. I probably should have called while I was away, but I didn’t. Any reason I could give will probably be an excuse.”
“Try me.”
He snorted. “I think a mix of embarrassment and pride kept me quiet. My stupid fucking pride got in the way. I saw shades of my father in me.” He stopped and caught her arm mid-stride to spin her around. With firm fingers on her chin, he lifted her face. “I will grovel for you all night, all week, all month and even all year if that’s what it takes. However long I’m made to atone for my sins, I don’t care. I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust again. I know I shattered every faith you had in me to keep you safe and secure. I also know it’s up to me to be the man you want and need.
“The bottom line is this, Allison, I want the world to see and appreciate you the way I do. You’re not someone who should be lumped into some off-hand category of ‘just one of the guys’. You are truly in a class all your own. I want people to see you just as I do and damn me for getting angry when that doesn’t happen. I can’t promise I won’t get irritated when someone lumps you into a category you don’t belong in again, but I will do my damndest to mitigate the damage if it does. But above all else, I will never, never touch you the way I did ever again. I refuse to be him.”
She reached up, brushing her fingers through his hair. “Don’t you see? Everything you’ve done, until that moment in the kitchen, made me feel special. You cherished and loved me more than anyone I’ve ever been close to. I felt feminine. Attractive. When I’m around you, I’m not one of the guys. I don’t know your father, Patrick, I only know you. But I imagine you’re nothing like him. In fact, from what Elena has told me, you’ve done everything in your power to be very far removed from your father.”
Leave it to Elena to butt in. She had always been the sister he never had. She held the honor of being one of the few females he’d let into his very guarded heart. Until Allison.
Needing her closer, he gathered her into his arms. What had he done to earn this woman’s place in his life? The knot in his chest eased when she offered no resistance, melting against his body. As he inhaled the coconut scent from her shampoo, he pressed his lips against the top of her head. Time to put that advice from his mother to good use.
“I want you to know I think you are an extraordinary and amazing woman who I don’t think I could live without. I have found myself because of you, and by God, I love the hell out of you for it.”
Her arms circled his waist to pull him close. “I thought I only felt this way about you because I just didn’t know any better. That I was too much of a newbie and confusing how wonderful you make me feel with the way you hold command over me. I thought I was happy just relegating things to sex between us, but I’m not, Patrick. I’m not. Is it wrong that I don’t want to go back to that?
“I didn’t think I could want you to do those things to me and love you at the same time, but I wanted to ask you if it was okay. And I was going to. Then you had to go and be stupid. I’m just…gah, my head was so mixed up from everything. And you feel so damn good. How is it possible for me to be so mad at you and want you to fuck me against the wall at the same time?
“That can’t be normal. Right? It just can’t. You do something to me. I’ve never been this uninhibited. This…so wrapped up and completely out of control. For a while, I even questioned what was wrong with me. I kept wondering how screwed up in the head I needed to be to crave this…you, so much. I mean, who the hell wants to be tied up? Funny thing is—I do.”
She tightened her arms as she continued to babble, but he didn’t want to point it out to her. It would darken the enthusiasm bubbling under the surface. That babbling was one of the many things he loved about her. They were soaring too high at the moment to be brought down by the reminder of something she hated so vehemently.
“No, you haven’t been confusing your feelings at all. You and everything about you has knocked me completely off kilter too. We’ll figure this out. Make it right for us. I promise.” He touched his lips lightly to hers to make his point.
“Yeah, I think we will. With some work on both of our parts.” She shrugged as he pulled away, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as they continued down the street. “I have to say, it really would have been nice to see you grovel a little bit more.”
“And it would have been nice to fuck you against the wall.”
* * * * *
A month later, Allison watched Patrick enter The Copper Nickel. His roving gaze scanned the crowded restaurant, searching. When their gazes collided, the discussion she’d been having with Elena came to a screeching halt. She’d seen that look before. The sizzling, hungry intensity that signaled he was itching for a scene. Based on the heat aimed at her, she wondered if they would even make it through dinner.
She was mesmerized by the thought, her gaze never left his as he made his way to where she sat with their group of friends. He disappeared behind a stone column, breaking their moment. A tap on her shoulder caused her to turn around to find Elena staring at her in wide-eyed wonder.
Embarrassment heated her cheeks as she lowered her gaze for a moment. “Sorry.”
“That’s perfectly all right.” Elena’s
green eyes sparkled. “Believe me, I understand.”
Allison’s eyes fluttered closed as Patrick’s fingers skimmed over the back of her neck. His touch firmed a little as he cleared his throat. “If you will excuse us, Elena.”
The desire in his tone caused lurid images to form in her mind. Brain now focused on the pleasurable tingle between her legs, Allison was in his arms in the blink of an eye. A cheer came from their crowd of friends as their mouths met.
The sweltering hot kiss wasn’t the type they usually engaged in while out in public. At the moment, she didn’t care. She pressed against him, feeling the rigid length of his cock through his summer-weight slacks. When he wrapped his arms around her back, dipping her, another cry went up from the table.
She could easily let him take her right here—right now.
When they finally broke apart, he gave her a long, smoldering look. “Hi.”
His voice held a touch of breathlessness that sent a thrill zinging from her head all the way to her toes. “Hey there. How was your day?”
“Uneventful. I’m hoping to find some excitement later by wrapping a few things up.” His fingers brushed over her forehead as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The touch sent a wave of heat through her that ignited the already swollen flesh between her legs. She wanted nothing more than to go to Sanctuary to find out what he had in mind.
“Hey, you two, we’re hungry. Would you mind not being so in love that it’s vomit inducing, please?”
“Which is exactly why they’ve seated us apart,” she stated under her breath in annoyance.
Patrick squeezed her elbow as he pressed a light kiss to her cheek. “I’ll make it up to you later.” He pushed away and began greeting everyone as he made his way to the chair they’d reserved for him.
Blowing out a somewhat unsteady breath, she sat. She immediately decided it was ten times worse to have him directly in her line of sight than next to her. Sweet Christ, I’m going to kill whoever concocted this seating arrangement.
Alex sat to Patrick’s immediate right, followed by Dade and Elena. Cooper was at Allison’s left elbow with Tony, Mark and Beckett rounding out the party. While Mark and Patrick hadn’t spoken since the incident at her house, they seemed to have formed a silent agreement to agree to disagree.
In a few hours, the whole group would all head over to the theater for Cooper’s movie festival. She hadn’t checked the schedule, but thought they were all in store for a night of comedy. A mix of slapstick, satire and screwball, if she wasn’t mistaken. Dinner and a movie for the entire group. In a short amount of time, this mishmash of people had become her life. It seemed so natural and she couldn’t imagine it any other way. But someone was missing.
“Where’s Ryan?”
“He left earlier today to drive to New York in order to settle some legal matters.”
“Legal matters? Someone isn’t suing him because of one of his boats or something, are they? Patrick showed me some of his work and those boats are stunning. I can’t imagine someone being unhappy with that kind of craftsmanship. No one pays that much attention to detail anymore.”
A shadow crossed Elena’s eyes for a split second before she smiled tightly. “No, this is a personal matter. We can talk about it later if you want to. There’s no need to darken the mood, since we’re here to have a good time. I haven’t had a chance to ask how things are between you and Patrick. Though gauging from that kiss, I’m fairly certain I don’t need to.”
The friendship she’d struck with Elena since that day at Perfect Shot still surprised her. She’d never felt this close to a female before in her life. Kindred spirits, Elena called them. Whatever the connection between them, Allison never realized how much she missed out on with only choosing men for friends. She still loved her video games, movies and comic books, but there were times when she thoroughly enjoyed meeting with Elena to have a few drinks.
“We’re fine. What about you?”
“Busy, but not as busy as you’ve obviously been.”
Allison laughed. “Patrick took me to meet his mother last week.”
A perfectly arched ruddy eyebrow arched in surprise. “And how did that go?”
“She’s tenacious. She kept going on and on about how she finally kicked Alex out simply because she couldn’t take him being at the boardinghouse anymore. Made us bring him back when we left.”
Elena’s darkened expression returned. “How is he?”
Patrick and Alex had their heads bent toward each other, appearing to be deep in conversation. Summer tourist season had begun with a bang over Memorial Day weekend, so they were undoubtedly discussing business matters. Most people wouldn’t notice, but she saw the shadows beneath Alex’s eyes and the dusting of hair along his jaw, which indicated he hadn’t shaved for a few days.
“Coping. The divorce papers arrived a few days ago.”
“So they’re going through with it?”
Allison nodded. “Patrick said every time Alex and Vivian tried to talk, it just erupted into a shouting match. They finally decided they were better off separated. He’s buried himself in work to compensate. To be honest, I’m surprised he agreed to come tonight. I was certain he’d find some excuse to duck out of it.”
Elena sipped her wine. “He may be hurting inside, but he wants to be there for his brother. He’ll push away his discomfort and stand up when his younger brother needs him. Everyone deals with stress differently. Knowing those two, Alex will bounce back just fine when he’s ready.”
Allison thought she detected a note of longing in Elena’s voice, but she couldn’t be sure. “Patrick still feels as if he had more to do with their separation. I know they’ve worked it all out and he truly didn’t, but still…”
“It’s all part of them being family. Something I suspect you’ll be part of soon enough.” The mischievous twinkle in Elena’s eyes caused Allison to give her an odd look. Just as she was about to ask what she meant, Patrick stood and circled the table.
His hand was a comfort on her shoulder as he leaned over to press a quick kiss to Elena’s cheek. “I think we’re going to skip the movie overload tonight.”
He’d barely been here a half hour and hadn’t even touched his food. As Allison started to protest, Patrick pressed his lips to her fingers. She had no idea what he planned, but her objection about leaving already died in her throat when his face darkened. No question, it was time to go. They both thanked everyone for their time without bothering to offer any sort of excuse. What would be the point? Everyone already knew where they were going.
Twenty minutes later, Patrick pushed her against the wall of his building, drawing her into the kiss he’d started at the restaurant. His teeth and tongue worked together, teasing her as a groan of pleasure vibrated her throat. When the kiss finally broke, she noticed lust-darkened eyes. Knowing he was on the verge of being unhinged and wild made her realize she was on the cusp of begging him to take her here against the wall.
“I have something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”
“Is talking really what you want right now?” She pushed her hips against his. The hard stab of his erection against her leg caused her pussy to go wet. Arousal poured hot into her belly, firing off the now desperate need to be one with him.
He blew out a slow, shaky breath as she continued to grind her body against his. “I’ve been putting this off, but I need to stop hesitating. I’ve watched the changes in you since we met and I want to do this now.”
Confused, she shook her head, her desire leveling a bit. “Patrick, what are you talking about?”
“Remember the day I strapped you to the cross and told you about forced orgasms?” His fingers skimming over her naked wrists.
“How could I forget?”
He tugged on her hand, opening a door to the right of where they normally entered the warehouse. “Come with me.”
“Wait, where are you going? Isn’t it your night on the schedule for Sanctuary?”
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“Yes. But tonight is different.”
She pulled back. Not because she wouldn’t follow him, but because she wanted to know what he had up his sleeve. “Patrick, what the hell are you talking about?”
“Just come with me.” His tone was authoritative, but it wasn’t a demand. He needed her to do this for him without question. She climbed the stairs, wondering with each step what he had in mind.
Patrick’s loft above the warehouse held few similarities to the room downstairs. The wood paneling on the walls was rich and dark. And bare. Not a single picture or decoration hung on the walls. A clear indicator he’d been a bachelor for most of his life. Despite the masculine appearance, there were homey touches that made the space his. Pictures of his brother and mother together in front of a mountain range sat on the bookcases to her left. There was even a snapshot of Dade, Ryan and Elena standing in front of an old Southern mansion.
Family was important to Patrick.
The rest of his furniture was nothing out of the ordinary. She turned in an unhurried circle, slowly examining his home in order to take it all in. It was an intimate glimpse of the man she’d dated for several months. Once she’d turned a full three hundred and sixty degrees, she found him grinning. “What?”
“Nothing. I just enjoy watching you.”
“I figured that was something we determined awhile ago.” His laughter filled her with warm energy that pulsed with life. “You know, I would think for someone so adept at knowing what women want, you’d do a little more to spice up your décor.”
“I haven’t had to because you’re the first.”
“Pardon?” she asked, stunned by his admission.
“Well, with the exception of Elena and my mother for family gatherings, of course. I don’t routinely invite women up here. That’s why I have the room downstairs—to keep this space mine. Sex has always been relegated inside Sanctuary’s walls instead of here. You said so yourself the first time you saw the warehouse.”
