He tried to figure out what to say to Charlotte, but every explanation he played over in his head sounded wrong. He had to make her realize that he trusted her, but he had wanted to protect the feelings of his crew, as well. They had been through so much, and he wanted to protect them from any more pain and upheaval in their lives. Long after the soap he had lathered over his body had washed away, he stood there under the stream of steaming hot water, trying to figure out how his life had gone from so wonderful to so complicated in such a short span of time.
* * *
The next morning, Ian came up with a plan. After checking with Boise and learning that the Yosemite fire had burned out, and that right now there were no other fires needing a smokejumper crew, Ian packed a cooler with sandwiches and bottled water. Then he went to find Charlotte. She wasn’t anywhere on the grounds or in the bunkhouse, but when he found the rest of the crew in the hangar making repairs to their gear, he learned she had gone off on one of her long runs. Ian ignored the daggers coming at him from Zach’s eyes, and went out front to hop into his pickup truck. He knew the direction she usually ran in, so he drove that way until he saw her pounding out her frustrations one foot after the other on the pothole-filled road. Her strong, muscular legs made his body heat up with longing, but he pushed down the feeling for the moment. He had to worry about winning her trust back before he could think about doing anything physical with her.
He drove up beside her slowly and honked his horn. Startled, she stopped to pull out her earphones and give him a look of disdain.
“Can’t I get any time to myself around here?” she asked, her voice frustrated.
“No,” Ian said simply. “Hop in.”
To his surprise, Charlotte didn’t protest, although she did keep the look of disdain plastered on her face as she climbed into the passenger seat.
“What’s going on? Is there another fire?”
“No, not today. I’m going to show you something, but it’s going to be a long ride.”
Charlotte glared at him. “What if I don’t want to go for a long ride with you? Just because you’re crew chief doesn’t mean you can force me to spend time with you on off days.”
“Just give me a chance, Charlotte. I know you’re mad at me, but I want to try to explain.”
Ian half expected Charlotte to make a break for it even though the vehicle was already moving. But she just scowled at him and turned the radio on, switching the channel to a country music station and turning the volume up impossibly loud. Ian tried not to smile as he focused on the road and turned his truck north.
After an hour in the car, Charlotte finally turned down the volume and looked over at him.
“Where are we going?” she asked, her voice icy.
“Point Reyes. It’s probably another hour and half to get there.”
“Well, I’m hungry.”
“There are sandwiches in the cooler. Help yourself.”
Charlotte scowled but leaned over to the backseat to get herself a sandwich. Ian couldn’t help but notice how perfectly rounded her ass was as it nearly hit him in the face while she searched through the available sandwiches.
She came back with two sandwiches and two bottles of water, keeping one for herself and handing one to Ian without another word. He raised his eyebrow slightly, surprised that she had thought to grab one for him, too. He felt a small sliver of hope rising in his chest. Maybe she didn’t hate him as much as he thought, after all.
They rode in silence until they reached a small, dirt covered parking lot. Ian turned off the truck’s engine, and opened his door.
“Come on, I want to show you something,” he said.
Charlotte wordlessly followed him to a spot at the end of the parking lot, where a small wooden sign marked the beginning of a trail. Ian led her through a short grassy meadow into a thick fir forest. The shade from the sun felt good, and Ian enjoyed the calming influence of the trees. The beauty of the forest balanced the heaviness in his heart as he neared the spot where he would find out for sure whether Charlotte would forgive him and stay with him.
They came out of the forest onto the beginning of a high, rocky cliff that overlooked a beach area, and Ian stopped to point at a spot where the cliff had collapsed into a rockslide.
“This is what I wanted to show you,” Ian said.
“Okay,” Charlotte said, her voice uncertain. Ian took a deep breath and began to explain the significance of the cliff to her. He couldn’t bear to look in her eyes as he spoke, so he stared off at the pile of rocks near the bottom of the cliff.
“I’m a bear shifter, as you know. So are the rest of the guys in the crew. We grew up out here around Point Reyes, in a small group of bear shifters known as a clan. Our families wanted to keep us away from heavily populated areas, and the combination of beaches and forests here gave bear cubs plenty of room to roam. My childhood felt like a dream, with days of running in the sand and splashing in the ocean, then playing in these forests and stopping for berries whenever I got hungry. It was idyllic, until the day my clan tried to take refuge under this rock arch during a heavy rainfall. Late in the afternoon, the arch collapsed, and buried most of the clan. The day was horrific, as you can imagine. Only the five of us who are now the Burning Claws Crew survived. Zach almost didn’t make it, in fact. He still has a huge scar across his back where a rock boulder hit him.”
Ian paused his narrative and looked at Charlotte to gauge her reaction. Her face held a neutral expression as she looked at the large pile of rocks below them.
“We were young and scared,” Ian said. “We had just lost everything important to us, and had no idea what to do from there. We spent a few years trying to make it out here alone in the forest, but the memories were too painful, and at some point we decided to leave and try our luck at living among the full humans. The crew nominated me as alpha, which basically means I’m the boss or the leader of the crew. With my encouragement, we all joined the army together, and somehow managed to get stationed at the same base in a small, quiet city in Georgia. After the army, we became firefighters. My men needed the chance to do some sort of meaningful physical labor. But we were outed as shifters on our hotshot crew, and things got rough. A lot of the human hotshots weren’t understanding of our differences at all, and we thought we were going to have to leave firefighting. It was heartbreaking, because we all really loved the work. But then, Forest Service struck a deal with us to make us into a smokejumper crew. We were told we could be by ourselves, working alone without any outside humans. Of course, Boise didn’t and couldn’t know about the deal, and they insisted on assigning you to our crew. We weren’t worried about you not working hard because you’re a woman, like you thought at first. We were worried you were going to discover we were shifters and all our work at getting reassigned to a smokejumper crew would be wasted.”
Ian paused again, giving Charlotte time to process everything. She stared off at the rocks for several long minutes before looking back at Ian.
“Why are you telling me all of this?” she asked, her voice losing its aggravated tone.
Ian took a deep breath. “I wanted to try to explain why I didn’t tell you I was a shifter sooner. I’m really sorry that I didn’t. But I was scared of how you would react, and my men have already been through so much—losing their clan and then losing their jobs on the hotshot crew, which they had loved. I didn’t want them to lose their smokejumper jobs in addition to everything else.”
“You should have trusted me,” Charlotte said, crossing her arms. “I wouldn’t have gone running in the other direction, or tried to out you to Boise. I’m a decent person, and I consider the crew my friends. Not all humans are evil people out to get you or make your life miserable.”
“I know,” Ian said, and hung his head. “All I can say is that I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I didn’t want to hurt my crew. And I failed everyone. I promised Zach not to tell you we were shifters until after the last mission, but then the be
ar showed up and I didn’t have much of a choice. I had to shift to save you. And Hunter joined right in. He’s got such a good heart, that kid.”
Charlotte smiled for the first time since Ian had picked her up from her run. “Hunter’s very sweet.”
Ian looked over at the rocks again. He was having a difficult time reading Charlotte’s response. She seemed to be taking everything relatively well, but she hadn’t outright accepted his apology. Ian told himself to stop talking for a minute and give her time to think. He glanced at her profile, drinking in the beauty of her face as she gazed out at the ocean in the distance. When she turned to speak again, what she said startled him.
“I knew you were a shifter,” she said. “Or, I suspected it, at least.”
Ian snapped his face up to meet her eyes. “You knew? How? And why didn’t you say something?”
“I overheard you telling Zach the night of our first mission. I wanted you to trust me enough to tell me yourself, though. It hurt a lot that you kept it from me.”
Ian felt sick to his stomach. “I should have told you. I wasn’t fair to you, putting you in the same category as other humans who haven’t been understanding. I was just so afraid of losing you, though. The thought was agonizing.”
Charlotte sighed. “I know you’ve been through a lot, but you’ve also met some really good humans. The people at Forest Service have taken care of you, after all. Not everyone is out to get you just because you’re a little different. And, honestly, you should stand up to Zach more. He’s a good guy, but you’re the crew chief, and the ‘alpha’ as you put it. You need to step up and lead. I know he’s your best friend, and you want to protect his feelings. But sometimes as a leader you just have to do things that aren’t popular. It sucks, but, at the end of the day, people will respect you more for it.”
Ian pondered what Charlotte had said. Zach had become noticeably brazen in the last few weeks. Ian gave him a lot of leeway, but maybe the time had come to lay down the law a little more.
“You’re right,” Ian said. “I tried too hard to protect everyone’s feelings instead of stepping up and leading. I had good intentions, but I ended up hurting everyone and satisfying no one.”
“I’m always right,” Charlotte said with a smirk. “You should get that straight right now.”
Ian laughed. “Okay, okay, you’re always right. Got it. Does this mean you forgive me?”
Charlotte took in a deep breath before answering. “I forgive you, but I want you to trust me more in the future. I understand why you kept your secret from me, but I don’t think you made the right choice at all when you did that. I’m on your team, Ian. Treat me like that from now on, okay?”
Ian looked down at the ground sheepishly. “Okay.”
“I’m really sorry about your family that you lost, too. Unfortunately, I know all too well how awful it is to lose your family. I know the pain never really goes away. But you have to be careful that you’re not hurting the people who are still here with you and really care about you.”
“I know,” Ian said. “I messed up. I can’t promise it won’t happen again, because I’m not perfect. But I’ll do my best.”
Charlotte gave him a sympathetic smile, and he felt his heart warming. She still cared about him! He wished he could have stayed in the forest with her all day, but he needed to get back to base in case the crew received another mission assignment.
“Come on, let’s head back before it gets too late,” Ian said, pointing to the trail. “Can I…can I hold your hand?” He felt a little like a timid high schooler asking the question, but he wanted to respect Charlotte’s space if she still needed it. To his relief, she smiled at him again and nodded.
“That would be lovely,” she said, as she held out her hand to him.
Chapter Ten
Charlotte savored the feeling of Ian’s rough, warm hand covering hers as they walked back to his truck. Her anger at him had been slowly fading since he picked her up from her run. She had wanted to stay self-righteous and angry, but during their drive and hike, she had realized that she was being stubborn for no good reason. Ian had messed up, but he had realized it and apologized. And he didn’t hide his secret from her to be malicious on purpose. He had been trying his best to take care of both her and the crew. It wasn’t an easy balancing act.
The look of relief on his face after she forgave him had been so heartwarming. She knew when she saw it that she had made the right decision. Throwing away a relationship with such a wonderful man because he had made a goodhearted mistake would be ridiculous. No one was perfect all of the time. And she loved the way he had asked if he could hold her hand—the gesture had been respectful and sweet.
Now, as they walked along in contented silence, his index finger stroking the inside of her palm, her thoughts went from sweet to sultry. She let herself admire his body once again, taking in the sharp outlines of his muscles and the strong jaw line of his face. Now that she had seen him in bear form, she could see that certain things remained the same no matter what shape he took. His even, paced gait was the same, and his eyes didn’t change. They had the same intense, inquisitive look that sent Charlotte’s heart racing with desire. As they neared the truck, he turned his eyes to her and Charlotte saw the blue-green of his irises churning in a now familiar pattern. The sunlight up here had started to wane, and the late afternoon light made the skin on his face glow warmly.
“How did I get so lucky?” he asked, reaching up to caress her cheek. It was the first thing he had said since they started the hike back, and his voice sounded earnest and full of longing.”
Charlotte grinned at him, feeling familiar feelings of passion bubbling up inside of her. She tilted her face up toward his, her heart pounding with nervous excitement as she saw the heat of passion burning in his eyes. She parted her lips slightly, inviting him to kiss her, and she didn’t have to ask twice. He gently pushed her up against the side of the truck and met her lips with his, letting his hands slide down to her hips where held her body against his as he let loose the pent up desires from the last several days. Charlotte breathed in happily as she felt his body leaning into hers, savoring the feeling of his tongue sliding against hers. His movements were deliberate and tender, and Charlotte felt herself melting into him. His arms felt like home, and she felt her loneliness seeping away as he continued to kiss her deeply.
After a few minutes of passionate kissing. Ian stopped and pulled away briefly.
“Hang on,” he said. “I have an idea.”
He opened the door to the truck and reached into the back of the cab, where he grabbed a blanket before shutting the door again. Then he went to the bed of the truck and opened the lift-gate. He hopped onto the bed and spread the blanket out, then turned to offer his hand to Charlotte. She grinned as she took his hand and let him help her up onto the bed of the truck, where they lay together on the blanket and resumed their kissing session. The warmth of the sunlight was fading away, but the warmth of their passion was rising quickly.
Ian reached for Charlotte’s pants and tugged them down. She was wearing tight, spandex running pants, but he didn’t have much trouble sliding them down and over her hips. Her running shoes made the pants difficult to get off, though, so he tugged off Charlotte’s shoes and then removed her pants and underwear fully. Charlotte felt self-conscious about how sweaty she must be after running and hiking, but Ian didn’t seem to notice. He quickly pulled off his own shoes and pants, and then pressed his naked erection against her pelvis. Charlotte moaned, and felt her body tingling with anticipation. Ian didn’t stop to take off her shirt, which Charlotte was thankful for since the air was turning cold. Instead, he immediately lay on his side next to her, so they were both on their sides with their faces looking at each other.
He pulled her close and kissed her again, then used his hand to guide his erection into her well-lubricated entrance. The tingling sensation in Charlotte’s body intensified, and she moaned again as Ian moved his hand to hold h
er by her ass cheeks. With his mouth connected to hers in a fervent kiss, and his hips connected to hers by his rock hard dick, he started slowly thrusting his hips back and forth. He kept his movements gentle, but he was so large inside of her that it didn’t take much motion at all for the pressure to intensify. Charlotte wrapped her arms around Ian’s back tightly as the tingling sensation caused by his touch spread through every part of her body. It didn’t take long for the pressure to explode through her in warm waves, her muscles clenching onto him over and over. There was almost no sound as she squeezed her eyes tighter and just rode the waves of the orgasm he had given her. He let loose a few more forceful thrusts, and then found his relief as well. He pulsed into her, moaning quietly as they found their release together. They lay for several minutes relishing the moment and the feeling of togetherness.
Charlotte shivered slightly, and Ian pulled the large blanket over them. They cuddled together, holding each other close and enjoying the simple pleasure of being skin to skin. Any thoughts of getting back to base quickly seemed to be forgotten as they both drifted off to sleep. For the first time in a very long time, Charlotte’s dreams were happy instead of haunted.
Chapter Eleven
When the night grew cool enough that Ian woke up, he gently shook Charlotte awake.
“Hey,” he said softly. “We should really get back to base.”
Charlotte nodded sleepily and climbed back into the front of the truck, where she drifted off to sleep again as Ian drove them home. The earliest rays of dawn were just starting to crack over the horizon as they pulled back up to the hangar, and Ian parked the truck so the bed was facing the sunrise.
“Wait here,” he said. “I’ll go grab some coffee and some snacks, since I’m sure you’re starving. We can sit in the bed of the truck and watch the sun rise.”
A Blaze To Bear (Fire Bear Shifters Book 1) Page 8
