She heard the car’s engine start, and that pulled her back to the present. Her husband followed the car in front of him onto the ferry. They were directed onto the second level and parked near the stairwell that led to the observation level and the cafeteria.
He turned off the engine and said, “You seem a million miles away.”
She smiled, hoping to reassure him that all was well.
Roy reached for her hand, gently folding it in his own. “I didn’t want to talk about what happened … and the aftermath of it. You were right when you said I wanted to sweep everything under the rug.”
She hung her head. “I can’t blame you … I wanted to do the same thing, too.”
“But eventually it would have destroyed us. I feel better than I have in weeks.”
Maggie forced a smile. With everything in her, she wanted to assure him she felt that same sense of peace, but it would be a lie. A very big lie. In all her life, Maggie had never felt less like putting on a happy face.
“Let’s go up front,” Roy suggested.
Maggie’s legs felt like they wouldn’t support her as she climbed the stairwell to the observation deck. The ferry had upholstered beige booths against both sides of the windows and chair seating in rows in the middle. Roy led her toward the doors leading outside.
As they stepped onto the deck, the wind whipped Maggie’s hair about her face as the sun shone down bright and warm. The ferry released a loud honk as it glided away from the dock and toward Seattle. Seagulls followed, looking for handouts from the passengers. A teenager stretched his arm high above his head, holding on to a french fry. To the passengers’ delight, a large gull swooped down and grabbed it from his fingers.
Maggie looked down at the waves slapping against the sides of the huge boat. The dark green water mesmerized her. How easy it would be to jump from here and disappear in the deep waters of Puget Sound. That way she’d never have to face the future. Never have to face the consequences of a single indiscretion. She didn’t deserve this misery. It took all the restraint she possessed not to rant at God that this was unfair. It was all wrong.
Roy came to stand behind her, his hands on her shoulders, protecting her from the wind. Leaning close, he whispered, “I love you, Maggie, heart and soul, I love you.”
She leaned back and tucked her head beneath his chin and closed her eyes. Right now his love was secure, but she wondered how long he’d love her once she told him she was pregnant.
“You asked me earlier if I still meant the things I wrote in that letter back when we were in college,” Roy continued. “I shouldn’t have hesitated. I knew then and I know now, every word was true. We were meant to be together. You’re my soul mate.”
Maggie turned around and buried her face in her husband’s chest as he hugged her close. She found it difficult not to break down in tears.
“I’m going inside to use the restroom,” she told Roy. She needed a definitive answer.
“I’ll come inside with you. Do you want a cup of coffee?” he asked.
“Tea,” she said, wanting to keep him occupied if this test took longer than she expected. “You know how I like it.”
“I’ll find us a seat.”
“I won’t be long,” she promised.
Thankfully, the restroom wasn’t crowded. Maggie went into the narrow stall and removed the pregnancy test from inside her purse and quickly read the instructions. Five minutes. That was all it would take either to reassure her or for her world to implode.
Five short minutes.
Only they weren’t short minutes. They ticked by in agonizing seconds, one by one, until she thought she would go mad, waiting.
In truth, it didn’t take the required time. The test strip confirmed her suspicions long before the final seconds of her cell-phone timer ticked off. It was blue.
She was pregnant.
Chapter 17
“This is … my father,” Ellie repeated, when she found she could speak again.
The man standing in front of her looked as awkward and uncomfortable as she felt. Frowning, she turned to Tom, waiting for him to explain. None of this made sense. He’d mentioned a surprise for her, but surely this couldn’t be it.
“Hello, Ellie,” the other man said.
She didn’t return the greeting. Instead, her gaze held Tom’s, and when she spoke, it was to him. “I don’t understand.”
“I know this is something of a shock …”
“Something?” she repeated, incredulously.
“Give me a chance to explain.”
“Please do.”
Tom gestured toward a picnic table, silently suggesting they all sit down as if this was a big family reunion and everyone should be hugging and greeting one another.
Ellie shook her head. “No … no …” This wasn’t a family outing where she’d whip out a tablecloth and set down a few plates while he cooked hot dogs on the barbecue.
“After your mother and I divorced, I married Tom’s mother,” the man who claimed to be her father said.
Ellie stretched out her arm as though to ward him off. “I asked Tom. He should be the one to tell me what this is about.”
“I … wanted to find you for my dad,” Tom said.
“Find me?” she repeated. “Find me?” All at once everything started stacking up in her mind in neat, orderly columns. The book-club friend request on the social-media platform, the skillful strategy as he introduced himself and kept the communication open, carefully wooing her. Bit by bit, day by day, a little at a time gaining her confidence. Their meeting hadn’t been accidental or a quirk of fate but carefully orchestrated. He’d sought her out, discovered her interests, and then manipulated their meeting.
Ellie backed up two steps. “You planned this from the start … you hid who you are and used me. Was he in on this as well?” she demanded, nodding toward her father.
“This is as much a surprise to me as it is to you,” Scott Reynolds murmured. “I didn’t know anything about it until just recently … this morning, in fact.”
No wonder he looked so ill at ease and uncomfortable.
In other words, her father had never had any intention of contacting her. Meeting her wasn’t his doing, his wish. He’d walked out on her and her mother and found a new family, a new life. Countless times Tom had talked about his stepfather, whom he always referred to as Dad. Dad this. Dad that.
Her father. Tom had been raised by her father. Tom had no real feelings for her. He didn’t love her. It was her father he cared for so deeply.
“It’s only right that you know the man responsible for your life,” Tom said. “You told me so yourself. Please, Ellie, give me a chance to explain.”
Tom had taken the confidences she’d shared with him and used them against her. “Let you explain?” she repeated, her mind whirling like the blades of a helicopter, only she wasn’t being lifted off the ground and taken away. Instead, she was left to face … she didn’t know what.
“Scott is a good man. At least give him the opportunity—”
“No,” Ellie cried, and for emphasis, shook her head. She turned on Tom, her voice shaking with emotion. “You used me.”
“No,” he protested, quick to defend himself. “It wasn’t like that.”
Ellie refused to believe him. “It was no accident that you sought me out on Facebook. You said so yourself.”
“Okay, in the beginning. Dad talked about you and your mother with such regret and sorrow. I felt it was only right that he have a chance to know his own flesh and blood.”
Ellie wasn’t willing to listen to any of this. She noticed her father had nothing to say, which was just as well. “I find it interesting that it was you who went in search of me and not him.” She pointed at the older man. “He couldn’t be bothered with me, right?” She glared at this stranger, accusing him with her eyes. All the years she’d been without him, all the years she’d yearned to know her father, and all there’d been was silence.
E
ven now he had nothing to say for himself. He seemed to find it difficult to even look at her. He was ashamed of himself, as well he should be. He abandoned his own flesh and created a home for other children.
Almost right away another realization hit her between the eyes, this one more painful than all the other neatly compiled facts coming together in her brain. Tom had urged her to come to Cedar Cove, but it wasn’t because he cared for her or wanted to make her part of his life. He had an agenda. Getting her to love him was a means to an end. His means; his end.
Once more she retreated, backing away from the two men.
Tom had involved her heart, gained her confidence for his own selfish purposes. He didn’t care about her; he didn’t love her. Almost everything her mother had warned her against was happening. Her big leap of faith, her single act of independence, had turned around and bitten her in the face.
Tears filled her eyes. “I don’t believe this …”
“Ellie, please. Please, listen, give me a chance to explain.”
“No.” She glared at Tom and then her father. “I don’t want to see either one of you again. Ever.” With that, she took off in a rush, unable to get away fast enough.
Tom hurried after her. “It isn’t like that, Ellie. Please listen. Okay, okay, you’re right. Finding you was calculated, but then I fell in love with you.”
She wanted to laugh. “Do you honestly expect me to believe that?”
“Yes. In the beginning my goal was to set up a meeting between Dad and you, but as time went on and we became more involved I realized I wanted you for myself.”
His face was a blur as she glared at him through the moisture filling her eyes. “Then you should have told me who you were.”
“You’re right, I should have. Give me another chance. Please.”
Ellie wrapped her arms around her middle as if to ward off a chill. “I need to think this through. And for now I need you to go away.”
“I can’t,” he pleaded. “I can’t leave things between us like this.”
“Give me time,” she insisted. “I need time to process this.”
He hesitated and then asked, “How long do you need? An hour, a day?”
Ellie couldn’t give him a timetable. “Let me put it like this: I’ll call you, don’t call me.”
“No,” he insisted, and stopped her, gripping hold of her by the shoulders. His eyes bore into hers, demanding that she pay attention. “You’re right,” he said. “I went about this all wrong, and for that I apologize. I’m sorry; I would never purposely do anything to hurt you.”
Distressed as she was, Ellie wanted to push him away, but her heart desperately yearned to believe him. She’d already made a fool of herself once because of Tom and she was terrified of making the same mistake again.
“I fell in love with you, Ellie.” His eyes were intent, serious. “I’m not making this up; I’m speaking from my heart.”
How badly she wanted to believe him, but she was afraid.
When she didn’t respond, he tried again. “Put my feelings for you aside. Your father loves you.”
Ellie had no proof of that, none whatsoever. She tried to jerk her arms free, but Tom held on tightly.
“It’s true,” he insisted. “I didn’t know about you until after my mother died.”
That fact alone belied everything he’d just said. “My father loved me so much that I was constantly on his mind, right? He couldn’t stop talking about me.” If Tom thought he was proving his point, he’d achieved the exact opposite.
“He told my mother.”
“That makes me feel worlds better,” she murmured sarcastically.
“After Mom died, Dad said he had a lot of regrets in his life but the biggest regret was not knowing his daughter.”
“It’s a little late, don’t you think?” She was unable to hide her sarcasm. “Somewhere along the lines of twenty years too late.”
“He showed me your baby photo. He still carries it in his wallet.”
“He could have called me. He could have written me letters.”
“He tried countless times to reach you, but your grandparents made it impossible,” Tom insisted. “If you don’t believe me, ask your mother.”
“I intend to do exactly that.”
“Talk to him, Ellie,” Tom pleaded. “At least give him a chance to tell you what happened between your mother and him.”
“No.”
“Do you think it was easy for him to come down here today? Don’t you think it was as difficult for him as it is for you?”
Ellie shook her head. “I thought you said his one regret was me … If what you say is true and you had to practically drag him here, then he couldn’t have wanted to meet me that badly.”
“I didn’t have to drag him. He came of his own free will because he loves you.”
She snorted with disbelief.
Tom dropped his hands, releasing her. “He told me that this would happen. That you would hate him … that your grandparents and your mother would have turned you against him, and he was right.”
“My mother has been there every day of my life, supporting and encouraging me. My grandparents were decent, honorable people who loved me.”
“They suffocated you and dictated your every move,” he challenged.
Ellie was too confused to think straight. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she insisted, backing away from him.
“Go ahead,” Tom said, “run away. Turn your back on your father and on me. You say you need time, then great, take as long as you need. If you want to talk, I’ll be here, and so will your father. Hate me if that will make you feel better. I’ve no doubt that I’m exactly the kind of person your mother warned you against. But if you walk away from your father now, I promise you, Ellie Reynolds, you’ll regret it the rest of your life.”
He left her then, rushing back to the waterfront and her father. Ellie watched for just a moment and saw him join the father she’d never known. Scott Reynolds sat on a park bench with his shoulders hunched forward as though he wore a mantle of steel.
Ellie hurried back toward the inn. By the time she arrived, she was breathless from the steep climb and so badly shaken that every part of her body started to quiver.
Because she didn’t want Jo Marie to see her when she was this upset, Ellie stayed outside. She made her way onto the porch and sat down in one of the chairs lining the deck, and looked out over the waterfront. From this viewpoint she could see the park, but she forcefully kept her gaze away from where she’d left Tom and her father.
A rogue tear wove its way down her cheek and was quickly followed by another. She wanted to believe Tom cared for her, but she was afraid to trust him, and who could blame her? The tears refused to stop, and her nose started to run.
Reaching for her purse to search for a tissue, Ellie was surprised to find that Rover had joined her, resting at her side, his chin on his paws.
“You won’t believe what happened,” she whispered, as she found what she needed and blew her nose.
“Rover?” It was Jo Marie.
Ellie grabbed a fresh tissue and wiped the moisture from her face, although she couldn’t avoid sniffling.
“Ellie?” Jo Marie said, as she approached her. “My goodness, what’s wrong?”
Not wanting to talk, Ellie shook her head, indicating that explaining anything at the moment was beyond her.
Jo Marie gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I have just the thing,” she said, and disappeared back into the house. To Ellie’s surprise, Rover didn’t follow the innkeeper. Instead, he remained steadfastly at her side, going so far as to place his chin on top of her foot. She found the action of great comfort.
“Have you ever loved someone who bitterly disappointed you?” she asked the dog.
A few minutes later, Jo Marie returned with a tray containing a big pot of tea, cups, and a small plate of cookies. She set it down on the table. “I can’t think of a single thing more com
forting than tea with cookies.”
Despite everything, Ellie managed a smile. The other woman poured; steam rose from the delicate china pot and then the teacup as Jo Marie prepared to hand it to Ellie.
“Milk or sugar?” she asked.
Ellie declined and took the cup. She held on to the saucer and blew into the steaming liquid. “I never knew my father,” she whispered. “My parents divorced before I had any memories of him.”
“You had no contact with him. Not ever?”
“No, until now … He was just here … down by the waterfront.”
“Here in Cedar Cove?”
Ellie nodded. “He’s Tom’s father.”
Jo Marie tried to swallow a gasp but didn’t quite succeed. “Tom’s your half-brother?”
“No, Tom is my father’s stepson. He raised Tom and his brother, Earl, as if they were his sons. The only reason Tom …” She paused, hardly able to say the words. “He wanted to reunite me and my father,” Ellie finally managed.
“Oh, Ellie, I don’t think that’s the only reason.”
Tom had said as much, but Ellie didn’t know what to believe.
“I saw the way he looked at you this morning,” Jo Marie said gently. “Tom’s crazy about you.”
Ellie shook her head, dismissing the other woman’s words of reassurance. “My father didn’t know what Tom was doing any more than I did. He could barely look at me … Tom said my father had tried to contact me through the years but my mother and grandparents intervened and wouldn’t allow it … but he could have gone through the courts. If he’d really wanted me in his life, he would have moved heaven and earth to make it happen.”
“Yes,” Jo Marie agreed, as she settled into the chair beside Ellie. “We all have regrets, though, don’t we?” she asked. “I imagine you would have welcomed the opportunity to know your father.”
“As a kid, I would have done anything to hear from him, to talk to him. I needed my father and he wasn’t available. I was an inconvenience.”
Jo Marie sipped her tea. “What’s so different now?” she asked.
Ellie turned to look at her. “What do you mean?”
Love Letters: A Rose Harbor Novel Page 15
