Adam made a strangled noise in the back of his throat.
Liam leaned in toward him. “Use your words,” he hissed.
“Promise,” Adam choked out. “I promise.”
Slowly — very slowly — Liam released him. He shoved the other man away from the wall, back toward the street. “Leave,” Liam said, in a more subdued voice. “And pray we never meet again.”
Pale, wide-eyed, and shaking, Adam scrambled for his feet. He took off running, in the way that only a mortal confronted by the unknown could manage.
Liam didn’t look at her. She saw in his posture the same awful shame she’d felt herself, just moments prior.
We’ve seen each other truthfully for the first time, she thought hollowly. Everyone has something ugly underneath the surface.
Elaine realized she had wound her hands nervously through the scarf around her neck, clinging to it for comfort. There were tears frozen on her cheeks.
“This was a bad idea, El,” Liam said hoarsely. “I can’t be here. I can’t be around you—”
“No.” The word burst out of her before the thought had even finished crossing her mind. Elaine forced herself to reach out and touch him, threading her fingers into his coat.
What am I doing? He’s right, I can’t handle this, what he carries terrifies me—
But that was the point, wasn’t it? Elaine had escaped Blackfrost due to Liam’s intervention. And instead of finding a way to save him in turn, she had abandoned him to it.
If he left like this, drowning in shame and despair, she knew that she would never see him again. Liam would lose what remained of himself, and all of it would be her fault.
“Please,” she said. “I need you to stay.”
Elaine saw the capitulation in his eyes, as she used the word need. It was a low blow. Some part of her had known he wouldn’t be able to deny her if she said it. But it wasn’t entirely the wrong word to use.
Liam curled his arm hesitantly around her shoulders. He leaned down to press his forehead to her hair. She felt him trembling, forcing himself to come to terms with the dark impulses that still whispered inside him.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said. For the first time, she heard his voice choke. “What if I become him, El? How can I hate him so much and still turn into him?”
“You won’t hurt me,” Elaine said. She believed the words, even now. “And… I won’t let this overcome you. I’ll figure something out, Liam.” She hesitated. “Please, just… come inside. I’ll make some tea, and we can both calm down.”
Elaine had intended to set on the kettle upstairs. But halfway to the stove, she caught sight of a small figure huddled up on the couch. She diverted her course with a frown.
Jenna hadn’t left the shop after all, Elaine realized. Her apprentice had come upstairs to wait up for her return. Even in the darkness of the loft, though, Elaine could tell there was something wrong with her. Jenna’s face was flushed. Her skin was damp, and her breathing came shallow in her sleep.
Elaine grimaced, and reached down to brush the hair away from her face. “Moron,” she said softly.
Liam glanced her way from the kitchen table. “What is it?” he asked. His tone was even again, though she knew he still had to be upset.
“It’s Jenna. And it’s… complicated.” Elaine sighed, nudging her apprentice gently awake. Jenna let out a soft groan, and her eyes slitted open. There was an unmistakable glaze to them that Elaine recognized well.
“Hey,” Jenna mumbled. “Faeries didn’t eat you?”
Whatever minor irritation Elaine had been carrying dissolved away. It was hard to stay upset with someone who sounded so pathetic.
“If any of them got in a nibble, it was so discreet I didn’t notice,” Elaine replied wryly. “You’re having a sick day? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Jenna rolled her eyes and slowly leveraged herself up to a sitting position. “If I took off work every time I had a flare-up, I’d be an invalid,” she said. “You let me decide what’s important enough to stay home for, huh?”
“What’s wrong with her magic?” Liam’s voice made Elaine jump. He’d somehow moved behind her without making a sound.
Jenna stiffened. Her hazel eyes narrowed in his direction. “You invited him in again?” she said.
“You let me decide who I invite inside,” Elaine retorted. “I warned you to leave. If you want to stick around, you’ll have to deal with it. And be polite.”
Jenna quieted at that. There was a deep unease in her posture that Elaine had begun to suspect was personal in nature. She looked away from Liam. “I got my magic too early in life,” she said shortly. “Or… something. It messes with my body sometimes. Kind of like a magical auto-immune disease.”
Liam contemplated that for a second. “I could siphon some of it off if you wanted,” he said.
Jenna’s jaw clenched. Elaine saw her bite back a knee-jerk response. “I try not to accept helpful offers from anything Arcadian,” she replied.
Elaine expected Liam to take offence, but he nodded slowly. “That’s not a bad rule,” he said. “I just thought I’d put it on the table.”
Jenna snorted, but she didn’t pursue the matter further. She leaned heavily into the couch arm. “While we’re all in a chatty mood, maybe you can tell me why he’s hanging around, Lainey.”
Elaine chewed at her lip. She glanced toward Liam, who shrugged uncomfortably. Your choice, the gesture seemed to say.
“…I spent a while in Arcadia,” Elaine said, after a bit of thought. “When I came back, I forgot something important that Liam needs.”
Jenna closed her eyes. An exhausted resignation flickered across her face. “Well, there’s an easy fix for that,” she said. “Didn’t you say scrying goes backward and forward?”
Elaine frowned. “Divination is one of your specialities,” she said slowly. “Not mine.”
“Yeah,” Jenna said. “I know.” The words clearly cost her something to say.
Elaine sighed. “I appreciate the offer. A lot. But I’ve never heard of anyone looking past the Arcadian veil before. I imagine it would take a lot of skill and power, Jenna. You’re a natural, I’ll admit, but it’s still a very tall order.”
Jenna opened her eyes again. The fever in them gave her a dazed expression, on top of the stubborn set of her jaw. “You’re nitpicking,” she said. “It doesn’t cost anything to try. You want me to stay out of your business, Lainey. I get it. But I’m not going to stay out of it. I’ve got a metric shit-ton of psychological baggage that won’t let me. I’ve lost more than one person to Arcadia already. I’m not losing you too.” She rubbed at her face. “See? Admitting stuff is good for you. You should try it sometime.”
Elaine let out her breath slowly. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to break down crying or strangle her apprentice. Maybe both. “You’re in no condition right now,” she said. “Come on. You can use the bed.”
Jenna rolled her eyes. “I’m not kicking you out of your own bed,” she said. “I’ll grab a cab home.” She shot a dark look at Liam. “I’ll get you what you want when my magic’s back to normal… as long as nothing bad happens to her.”
Liam didn’t reply… but as he turned away from Jenna, Elaine saw the unease in his expression.
Jenna’s words were still clearly bothering Liam, even after Elaine bundled her apprentice up into a cab. He hesitated on the threshold of the shop, and she knew he was thinking about leaving again.
Elaine took his arm. “Come on,” she said. “I want to show you something.”
Chapter 6
The greenhouse on the roof was no Allan Gardens, but then, it didn’t need to be — it was Elaine’s personal refuge, and it was enough to know that she had raised everything inside it with her own two hands. At the moment, the planters were primarily full of roses and poinsettias, to supply the holiday season.
The snow was still falling outside, though it melted as it hit the glass. The inside was artificially heated at night, whic
h made Elaine’s cardigan more than sufficient to keep her warm.
Liam raised an eyebrow at her as she closed the door behind them. “I thought you didn’t want me wilting your flowers,” he said.
Elaine shot him a smile. “The cut flowers are one thing,” she said. “But as long as they’re still alive and growing, my plants tend to be resilient.”
His face turned thoughtful at that. “They’re about as stubborn as you are, then.” His cold blue eyes flickered over toward her. “All of these are yours?”
Elaine closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of her greenhouse. More than the shop or even the loft, this was home. “All mine,” she said. She opened her eyes again, and found him looking at her strangely. “What?”
Liam shook his head slowly. “It’s such a contrast seeing you here, away from Blackfrost. I sometimes feel like I’m talking to a different person entirely.” He paused. “That’s a good thing. I don’t mean anything offensive by it.”
Elaine forced herself to meet his eyes. She’d started subconsciously shying away from doing that, she realized, since that moment when she’d thought he was going to kiss her.
“I am a different person,” she said. “I have a home again. I have… all of this.” She hesitated. “I don’t remember much from Arcadia. But I know what I missed while I was there. I thought you should see what you gave me back.”
Liam had been carrying a visible tension in his posture since his run-in with Adam. But just a little bit of that tension relaxed at the words. He managed a soft smile. “That… relieves me, somewhat,” he admitted. “Thank you.”
Elaine bit at her lip, bemused. Thank you implies a debt. A moment later, Liam seemed to realize his mistake. He laughed and shook his head. “Trapped in my own net,” he murmured.
He took a step forward, closing the distance between them. His thumb brushed across her cheek. “Ah, well. You strike me as a kind taskmaster.” His eyes looked down into hers. There was a dark, languid intensity to his gaze. The shadows in the greenhouse shivered around him. “I should pay for my misstep,” he teased softly. “Is there something you want from me, El?”
Elaine froze, her breath caught in her throat.
His heat was so close. The scent of him was overwhelming. The tickle of his thumb against her skin made her want to melt, even in the chill air.
“A kiss,” she whispered. The words slipped out before she could stop herself.
Liam blinked. The teasing air fell away from him, replaced with utter shock. Her heart froze in her chest. Oh god. Oh god, why did I say that? What on earth made me say that—
Liam’s eyes darkened. His other hand snaked around her waist, tugging her sharply forward. He dipped his head down to brush his mouth over hers — lightly, so carefully that his lips barely touched hers. The simple contact stole her breath instantly. A shiver shuddered through her body. His warmth, his soft cotton shirt, his muscled arms, all hit her senses at once. Liam’s scent was clean and exhilarating, threaded with sandalwood — as though he’d just stepped in from the outdoors. The combination made her light-headed, and a faint, surprised whimper of approval slipped out between her lips before she could stop herself.
Liam didn’t miss the sound. His grip tightened, and he hardened the kiss, cutting off her whimper. His hot tongue flicked out over Elaine’s lips, and she parted them with a gasp, allowing him access. He deepened the kiss, reaching up to weave his strong fingers through her hair. He tugged there, so that he could angle her mouth against his. He tasted sharp and intoxicating — much, much too real to be a dream.
Elaine already had her hands in his hair, urging him closer. His hair was just as soft as it looked, and every bit as satisfying to touch as she’d imagined. As Liam’s fingers tightened on her hip, she wound her arms around him, desperate to have him closer, to fit him into the cold, empty spot that he should have filled five years ago.
She had wanted this, needed this. Some part of her had been dreaming of it from the very beginning. The moment Liam had pressed his lips to hers, some awful, leaden misery had lifted from her shoulders. Her body reeled from the sudden lightness, and Elaine felt herself release a sigh of pure relief.
Liam responded to her touch, relaxing into it; he closed his eyes, and Elaine saw a flicker of the same bone-deep relief flicker across his face. He’d had the same craving, the same need for her that she’d had for him this whole time.
He opened his eyes again, and Elaine found herself caught. There was no mask of indifference hooding them now, no playfulness or sly amusement. Liam looked at her with a dark, possessive passion. He pulled a single breath away from her, dragging his teeth one last time along her lower lip.
“That… that was a terrible idea,” Liam whispered. He seemed to be talking more to himself than to her… but his fingers dug into her hip as he said the words, holding her in place against him.
Elaine stared at him, lightheaded. Her heart was pounding. Her skin was hot, her breathing short. It was so hard to think, with his heat burning against her, his eyes looking down at her with such pure hunger.
For five years, she had searched for something she couldn’t remember, aching for a dream. But even asleep, she had only ever yearned to hear his voice one more time, to feel him touch her again, to bury herself in his warmth. She had never dared to think that he might look at her the way that he did right now.
Liam’s hand tightened in her hair. Those icy eyes burned into her, possessive. “I want you,” he whispered. “So much. But I want to own you too, El. I can’t separate the two. I'm going to hurt you.”
He was right. It was a terrible idea. Elaine knew that. But her body was hot, her mind spinning, her heart in her throat. With that kiss, Liam had reached inside her and stolen a piece of her soul.
Or maybe he’d given her back a piece that she’d been missing.
“I don’t care,” she breathed. “Own me. Just for tonight.”
The words sent a shudder through him. Liam yanked her mouth back to his, hot and demanding. His hand pressed into her lower back, molding her body against his.
Elaine moaned into his mouth. She didn’t bother to try and hide it this time. She closed her fingers on his shirt, twisting them in the fabric. Liam surged forward, pinning her against the glass of the greenhouse. His long fingers unbuttoned her cardigan, and he slid his hands inside. The heat from his palms soaked right through her shirt, like a brand on her skin.
His lips curved up against hers. “Should I give you a moment to find protection?” There was a tease in his voice. He knew she was just as tightly wound as he was.
Elaine huffed at him. “I did not put on that little black dress without birth control,” she told him.
“I should have peeled that dress off you before,” Liam growled. He bit down on her lower lip, and Elaine gasped. He took advantage of her parted lips to slide his tongue against hers, claiming her mouth once again with his own.
His hand skimmed over her breast, and she lost the last of her self-control. Elaine arched into his touch, winding her arms around him. She shifted to lift her leg around his waist, but her skirt tugged tight, restricting her movement. The frustration was momentary, and easily forgotten. Liam curled the material of her skirt in his hand, hiking it up above her hip until his fingers touched the heated skin of her thigh. Cold air slid across her skin, but Liam’s warm hand skimmed upward and she couldn’t bring herself to care. He tugged her leg tightly around his waist.
There was no coming back from this, she knew. Neither of them had the strength to stop. The thought should have scared her, but it thrilled her instead.
Liam paused to take a shuddering breath. Elaine found herself enraptured at the sight of him. In daylight, Liam had seemed boyish, charming — she had almost managed to convince herself that he wasn’t dangerous at all. But in the coldest, darkest part of night, his power became that much harder to ignore. He was still beautiful in form — painfully so, in fact — but there was now a subtle, sinister edg
e to that beauty. He was at once both frighteningly lethal and unbearably enticing. The darkness invigorated him, adding a wicked edge to everything he did.
Elaine could have physically removed herself from his embrace, she knew — but she felt inextricably caught, all the same. There was a fey, unearthly light to his eyes, and an undeniable possessiveness to the way that he touched her.
She should have been terrified. But oh, god, she wanted him to touch her more.
Liam smiled slowly, inches away from her. The expression made her knees weak — especially as he rubbed his thumb across the nipple that currently strained against her bra, beneath her blouse. “You have no idea… the things I’m going to do to you, El,” he promised, in a low, dark voice.
Elaine met his eyes, breathless. His cock strained against his jeans, pressed directly against her dampening panties. The heat that suffused her, the sheer, wild desire, was like nothing she’d ever felt before. “Please,” she managed. “Show me.”
Liam’s lips descended to her jaw, trailing feather-light to her neck. The raw, desperate hunger on his features hadn’t dimmed at all — but he had her pinned, aching, willing, and he knew it. His touch became light, sensual. His lips teased at her skin, leaving behind the lingering heat of his breath.
Elaine let her head fall back, eagerly offering herself to his lips. She slid her hands up his shirt, savoring the scorching heat of his skin. At her touch, the muscles of his stomach tightened, and he hissed in his breath. His teeth nipped at her neck, hard enough that she knew it would leave a mark. The hint of pain mixed with the delirious pleasure of his body against hers, heightening every little sensation. Elaine let out a surprised, approving whimper, and his teeth grazed her skin again.
Liam paused suddenly, though, and she blinked, struggling through the haze to figure out what had caught his attention.
His eyes were fixed on the lacy red bra strap that currently peeked out from the loose collar of her blouse. His body coiled against her hand, and he hissed in his breath. “Is that what I think it is?” he murmured.
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