Love is complicated. I don’t know why Harold went away if he was in love with Amy. Why didn’t he marry Amy first, and take her with him? It would’ve saved me having to talk to her every night until very late to stop her from crying. I had to keep saying, 'of course he'll come back to you. Nee, he won’t meet someone else. He loves you, he’ll be back.'
I could only hope my words were true, and I think I was more pleased than anyone when Harold came back and asked Amy to marry him.
* * *
Heidi closed the book. Even going back generations, love was complicated. She agreed with Amy. If Harold had loved her why did he leave? Probably for the same reasons Heidi got on that bus and left Derek. In his youth, Harold might have thought nothing of love, the way Heidi had disregarded her love for Derek and Derek’s love for her.
Chapter 18
When Heidi closed Agnes’s diary and looked at the time, she remembered she hadn’t fixed her face yet, and she headed back to the bathroom. Once she had applied her usual makeup, she gathered her things and headed off to her favorite café for breakfast.
That morning, everything reminded her of Derek and the children. Everywhere she looked, she saw babies and loving couples and cute little girls.
* * *
Just after eight, she arrived at work and headed to her office. She was the first one there. The next to arrive would be the two receptionists who arrived at eight thirty. She remembered that her assistant, Amanda, wouldn't be in until one.
Hardly any appointments were booked for that day and half the agents wouldn’t even come into the office. The business would be closed between the twenty fourth and the twenty sixth, and then there would be a skeleton staff until after the New Year. People just weren’t interested in looking at apartments over the Christmas-to-New Year's Day period, but history told her they would start again in earnest on the second of January.
This close to Christmas, there were fewer emails to reply to and everything had already wound down. It was hardly worth the effort to go to work. That was to be expected at this time of year, but she didn’t like the lack of work because that also meant more time to fill and more time to feel lonely.
She grabbed a blank notepad from the filing cabinet and, taking pen in hand, she jotted down some ideas to take her business to the next level. On top of the list was getting her staff and the leads-distribution situation sorted. For the next ten minutes, she mulled over a few ideas she thought might work. She needed Janelle’s input, since she was one of the main agents in the company.
As some of the staff began to arrive, dragging their feet as though forced to be here, she realized none of them were as hungry to get ahead as she’d been when she had started. The difference was most likely that she had no family to return to if things suddenly went bad. She had no backstop. Her parents attitude had hurt her deeply, especially when she knew other Amish parents allowed their children who’d left the Amish to visit, so why couldn’t her parents? If they were trying to make her come back by disowning her, it hadn’t worked.
Heidi turned to her computer and did an Internet search to see if her father had died. She’d been too nervous to do it before, but she had to know. The first thing that popped up was a small article in a Lancaster newspaper. He was dead. He was one of fifteen Amish people who’d died around five years ago from a flu epidemic in one of the coldest winters on record. She covered her mouth with her hand as tears threatened. It was true, her father was dead and no one had thought to find her and tell her. She wouldn’t have been hard to find since she hadn’t even changed her name and they'd known she was headed for New York.
An email popped up on her screen; Amanda, who frequently worked from home before and after hours. The accountant had called and had postponed his appointment with her today, rebooking it in early January. Besides that, Frank, the developer, wanted an urgent meeting with her. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good.
Immediately, Heidi called Frank and got Warren, his assistant, and made an appointment to meet his boss. Frank was booked all day, despite his insistence of urgency, and she’d have to wait until five o'clock to find out why he wanted to see her.
Next on the list was a meeting out of the office with Janelle.
Janelle answered the phone by saying, “I’m only five minutes away.”
“I’m not calling about that. I was wondering if you want to go to lunch today?”
“Again?”
Heidi leaned back in her chair. “Are you complaining?”
“No. That would work. I’ve only got two appointments today. One at ten and one at three.”
“Good because I’ve got something I want to discuss with you.”
“You’re not letting me go, are you?”
Heidi chuckled and picked up her list of ideas she’d jotted down. “Of course not. I’ve got some ideas for next year that I’d like your input on.”
“Sure. There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, too.”
“What is it?”
“I’ll tell you over lunch.”
“Okay.” Heidi hoped Janelle wasn’t going to say she was leaving. “Meet me in my office at twelve and we’ll go from there.” She ended the call to Janelle and then called Amanda. “I’m having lunch today with Janelle. Could you book us a table for two and make it somewhere nice, but not too far away?”
“Sure. What time?”
“Make it for twelve thirty. And can you add the appointment I made with Frank for five o’clock tonight?”
“Okay. Did he say what it was about?”
“Beats me. I only spoke to his assistant.”
“Okay. I’m here.”
Heidi looked up to see that Amanda was standing in her office doorway with a bag over her shoulder and a take-out coffee in her hand. Heidi laughed and put her phone down. “I didn’t even see you there. I told you not to show up until one.”
Amanda handed Heidi the take-out coffee. “Here.”
“Thanks.”
“I figured out that you didn't see me, and I got bored at home so I figured I might as well work here where everything I need is at my fingertips.”
“How long have you been standing there?”
Amanda giggled. “Only since I asked you what time to book the restaurant.”
Heidi gave a little laugh. “Text me, please, and let me know where you decide to book us for lunch. Nowhere too expensive.”
“Got it. Is that all?”
“Yes, thanks.”
With a quick smile, Amanda headed to her office, which was really a small cubicle off from the large open-plan office the realtors occupied.
It’d be disappointing if Frank took his apartments from them, and until Heidi found out what he wanted, she knew she’d be concerned. She didn’t want to be negative, but the only reason she could think of for this sudden and unexpected appointment was that he’d changed his mind. Maybe some other agency had stuck their nose in and said something to cause him to change his mind about leasing his apartments. Or...could it have been another company trying to get in good with Frank and steal his business away from her?
Work always came with worries. Sometimes it was a constant juggling act. She took a deep breath and, exhaling slowly, she let the worry slide off her. If Frank was trying to get out of their agreement, she’d deal with that when she heard it from his own lips. Otherwise, there was no use worrying. She turned her attention back to her plans and worked on them until lunchtime.
* * *
“Is this a drinking lunch?” Janelle asked when she got to the restaurant and sat down at the table with Heidi.
“No, not if you’ve got another appointment this afternoon. I’ve got one and I know you’ve got one too.” Heidi jiggled her straw in the ice in her drink. “I was thirsty, so I couldn’t wait. It’s only tomato juice.”
“Well, it’s about time I gave up drinking anyway.”
She stared at Janelle. It was an odd thing for her to say since she was never one to say no to
a drink. “Is that so? You’re not sick or anything, are you?”
“No.”
“Then why—”
“I’m pregnant.”
She stared at her friend’s red lips as they curved into a smile. “No!”
“I am. It’s something that just happened; we weren’t even planning for it, not yet.”
Heidi’s fingertips flew to her lips and her stomach churned with a mixture of emotions. Life was passing her by. She was close to thirty and had no family and not even a boyfriend. Motherhood was only something she’d experienced in her vision. Then her thoughts turned to Michael and how sweet he was. Where was he? Did he need her? All she could do was hold her stomach.
“Well, aren’t you pleased for me?”
“Yes, you just caught me by surprise. Congratulations. That’s really wonderful news.” Heidi leaned over and kissed her friend on her cheek.
“When we have good news, we normally have bubbly. We can’t do that today,” Janelle said.
“Correction, you normally have bubbly. I rarely drink, and I don't care for champagne.”
“That’s true.” Janelle laughed.
Then Heidi realized her fears were coming to fruition. “You’re leaving?”
“I still want to work for as long as I can.”
That was good news for Heidi. “And what about after the baby’s born?”
“Scott is going to start working from home, so he’ll go part time and look after the baby. We'll hire a part-time nanny to help out. It’s a perfect arrangement.”
Heidi was pleased. “It certainly sounds like it. So, you’ll only have a few weeks off?”
“That’s right, the usual six weeks.”
The waiter came up to take their orders and after they had made their selections, Janelle asked Heidi, “What did you want to see me about?”
“I touched on it briefly with you before. I’ve got a couple of ideas for next year and I want to run them by you.” Heidi pulled some papers from her handbag and proceeded to go over the ideas for the new-lead distribution guidelines. Janelle was agreeable when she heard she was going to be overseeing a certain number of agents. She’d be responsible for training and then receive remuneration from their sales.
“I like it. I think the receptionists had too much power over who got the leads. I’m not complaining, mind you, but I can see why the others were.”
Heidi stared at Janelle. “I can’t believe you’re going to be a mother.”
“Neither can I.”
“When did you find out exactly?”
“We’ve known for a couple of weeks. We figured it was too early to tell anyone. I still haven’t told anyone, only you because you're my boss. We’re keeping it quiet for another couple of months.”
“I understand. My lips are sealed.”
Janelle laughed.
A small part of Heidi couldn’t help being envious of her good friend. She had a good husband and now she was going to become a mother. Why hadn’t it happened for her?
“We’ll have to find you a good man. Are you sure you don’t want to meet—”
“No, don’t ask me again.” Heidi raised her hands wondering if her friend was a mind reader. “The thing is, I can’t stop thinking about someone I knew a long time ago. We were dating when I left … when I left home to come here.”
Janelle’s eyes opened wide. “Have you been in touch with him lately?”
Heidi shook her head.
“Why not?”
“I don’t know.” Heidi squirmed in her chair, already sorry she'd said anything.
“Have you looked him up on Facebook, or anything?”
“He’s a very private person. He wouldn’t be on any social media or anything like that.”
“Are you sure? Maybe he’s changed from how he was so many years ago. People do change, you know.”
Heidi shrugged her shoulders again and told a little white lie. “I’ve looked and he’s not on anything.” She could hold it in no longer. Heidi had to tell someone about her vision, dream, or whatever it had been. “The other night, I had this amazing lifelike dream that I was married to him and had three children. It was so lifelike it was eerie.” She didn’t tell Janelle that she'd had no idea who "Heidi King" was when Heidi called her, or that just as many days had passed here as had passed in her dream.
“Don’t you see, Heidi?”
“What?”
“It’s a sign that you have to find him. Look him up when you go home.”
“I don’t know about that. Someone like him would’ve been snapped up pretty quick. He would already be married.” She looked down into her tomato juice. “Small-town guys like him always marry small-town girls, and they marry young.”
The waiter brought their drinks to them. Janelle had sparkling water, while Heidi had ordered a second tomato juice.
When the waiter left, Janelle said, “Ah, yes, I know the kind of town you’re talking about. That’s why I like the city. Anyway, you must’ve had that dream for a reason. Maybe it was a sign you should try dating again.”
“I can’t. I’ve had too many disappointments.”
“Dating is just like sales. It’s a numbers game. If you keep swinging that bat you’re bound to hit a home run sooner or later.”
“I don’t know.”
Janelle grabbed her iPhone. “What’s his name? I’m looking him up to see what I can find out about him.”
“No. Forget him. I’m not going to tell you his name.”
“Aw, come on.”
Heidi shook her head. “No. Not telling.”
“I think you’re in love with this guy.”
“I was a long time ago and I didn’t value what I had. I thought love was something easy to find, if you know what I mean. I thought I’d find it again.”
“Love isn’t easy to come by. I can tell you that. I can’t tell you how many people I had to date before I found Scott.”
“And you’re lucky, he’s perfect for you.”
“I wouldn’t have found him if I hadn’t dated a lot of people.”
Heidi smiled at her friend, who was still trying to make her point and still hoping she’d go on a blind date with that retired baseball player. Heidi shook her head once more. “Not going to happen.”
“What?”
“I’m not going to date your husband’s friend.”
“Suit yourself. I’m just trying to help.”
“I know, and thank you.”
“How often do you think about this Mr. X of yours? What was his name again?”
“Nice try, but I’m still not going to tell you. I just think about him every now and again. I guess every few months, and well … around the holidays. I’ve been thinking of him nearly every day lately and then I had that weird lifelike dream. It went on over a few days. I’ve never had a dream like it, so real. It was really weird.”
“If I were you I would go back home over Christmas. Oh wait, you said you are going back home at Christmas.”
Heidi frowned at Janelle, wondering if Janelle knew she was lying about going back home. “I’ve never bumped into him when I’ve been back.” She felt bad telling her friend lies about where she was going to spend Christmas, but it was better than Janelle knowing the truth.
“This time, try to find him. Find out where he works, and show up there.”
Heidi giggled. “I couldn’t do that.”
“Well, could you please at least find out if he’s married or not?”
“I suppose I could do that.”
“Good. I feel as if I’m getting somewhere now. I’ve got a good feeling about this guy. I haven’t seen you like this before about anyone.”
“Like what?”
“All nervous and acting weirdly. And you’ve been dreaming about him. That’s always a good sign.”
“Maybe. Now let’s talk about you. I just can’t believe you’re having a baby.”
“Me either.”
When Janelle started talking about
her plans for the baby, Heidi tried to act like she was listening intently, when instead she was thinking about Derek and the children. She had a family in another dimension, and she regretted returning to this one so quickly. One bad day and she was ready to check out? She’d never been one to give up on something so easily.
It made sense that even in a perfect world there would be good days and bad days, not every day in someone’s life would be perfect even if they had the best luck in the world. It was only normal for the children to test their boundaries. What child wouldn’t want to run in the rain and play in the snow, even roll in the snow? Heidi remembered doing that herself when she was young, yet when her own children did it, she couldn’t handle it. It’d been daunting to be unexpectedly thrust into motherhood instead of easing her way into it. One day she was single, and the next she had three children and a husband.
When Janelle drew a breath, Heidi said, “Dessert?”
“We haven’t eaten yet.”
“Oh. Rats! Dessert sounds perfect.”
Janelle laughed, and at that moment the waiter placed their food in front of them.
Heidi thanked him and stared at her chicken salad, which was tiny. It was nothing like the portions of Amish food. That was something else she missed—hearty food and lots of it. “I meant after this, would you want dessert?”
“Of course, I’m eating for two now. I’m definitely going to need dessert.”
“Good. Then I’ll have to have a dessert as well to keep you company.”
Both women giggled.
Chapter 19
At five o'clock, Heidi was waiting for Frank Dyson at the same table at the same bar where they’d met the previous day. He walked in grinning from ear-to-ear, and from the look on his face it didn't seem like he was going to renege on their deal.
"Heidi, how are you?"
She stood up to greet him, and as usual, he kissed her on both cheeks. She noticed he was clean-shaven this afternoon, not sweaty, and more presentably dressed.
In Time for an Amish Christmas Page 14
