In Time for an Amish Christmas

by Samantha Price

  “If you don’t tell me, I’ll have to think that’s what you’re doing.”

  “I told you, I’m having a look at different places much like yourself. Are you looking for a husband?”

  That made me laugh. “I can tell you that I’m not looking for a husband.”

  “And I can tell you I’m not looking for a husband either.”

  I laughed again. I never knew he was so funny, but I never talked to him alone until today. We’ve always been within a group and when he’s been at home, Mamm and Dat were always there.

  I never found out why he was traveling around and there was no use asking him again. We talked about home and he made me feel less homesick. He misses his dog, Gruff. I’ve seen his dog when we had meetings at his parents’ house. It’s the ugliest dog I’ve ever seen. Gruff's got orange fur and a lot of it, and one ear is torn. He had Gruff since he was really young and the dog is old now. Malachi told me Gruff wasn’t too good the day before he left. He’s worried he’ll get home to find his dog has died.

  It was nice to see a man care so much about his pet dog. As we drove on, we talked a lot more, but I can’t remember what we talked about. It wasn’t about anything in particular, but he kept making me laugh. If I keep laughing, I’ll become like Leah.

  I asked him if he was going to Morgantown, as that was my next stop. He told me he was going in the opposite direction. I don’t know if he was saying that as a joke, because by then we were back at Leah’s house and I couldn’t find out. He had James’s buggy, so he had to leave me there and then he would come back later for the evening meal.

  I helped Leah and her daughters cook. I can’t count how many came for dinner tonight. I guess there must’ve been thirty adults and just as many children. We cooked a large ham, and lots of roasted vegetables and mashed potatoes.

  Malachi was one of the last to leave and I hoped he was staying late to talk to me some more. I stayed up late to help the girls clean the kitchen and do the last of the washing up and now I’m so tired I could fall asleep standing up.

  * * *

  So, here I am, staying with the bishop at Morgantown. Mr. and Mrs. Wilson were to bring me to stay with a friend of my mother’s, Vida. When we arrived at the house, there were people there and we found out Vida died last night in her sleep. It was quite sad, I thought. Now instead of learning her cooking secrets, I’m going to her funeral soon, and I don’t even know her. Mamm will be so sad. Another one of her circle-letter ladies has died. This is the second one this year.

  Bishop John, from this community, asked me if I would mind staying with him and his wife until after the funeral, and then he would arrange for me to get to my next place, which will be York. I told him all of that was fine with me.

  When I get to York, I’ll nearly be home.

  * * *

  The funeral was today, three days after Vida died. She had one son and that’s all. He left the community many years ago. No one knew how to contact him. I wrote to Mamm about Vida and I hope the letter gets there before I get home.

  The graveyard was on sloping land. It was only a small graveyard, like the town itself, which I suppose makes perfect sense. There has been no sign of Malachi and I’m very upset. Perhaps I shouldn’t have questioned him so much about why he always turned up at the places where I was. I probably frightened him away. I just wanted to get to know him a little better.

  * * *

  I arrived in York just past sunset. I’m staying with a widow, Ruth Yoder, who has raised ten children. Ten minutes after I arrived there, she told me my mother wants me to know how to run a household. I consider I can do all that now, but I’m still open to learning other things. One thing I know; I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed in my own room with Furball again. I’ll show everyone at home how good my cooking is and everybody will be surprised. I’d reckon I’d know more than Mamm about cooking some things by now. Especially bread baking, because sometimes her bread doesn’t turn out so good. I’d never tell her that, of course, but maybe when I get home she'll let me take over that task. You’d think with all those years of baking it, her bread would be good by now.

  I’m really missing Malachi and if I marry him someday, I’ll be happy.

  * * *

  Heidi closed the diary. Her grandmother was falling in love with Malachi and she was reading about it.

  That night, Heidi went to sleep with a smile on her face as she thought about what Agnes had said at the beginning of the diary. And that was that she didn’t want to fall in love in a mushy way. Now she was heading that way with Malachi, if she was writing about missing him. Heidi was certain that’s how Agnes’s story was going to end, with her marrying Malachi.

  God, please take me back home. I don’t want this life. I just want my family back. She closed her eyes, too tired to finish the rest of her grandmother’s story and hoping she’d wake up to Derek’s soft lips on her forehead telling her he’s going to work for the last day before Christmas. She remembered she said she didn’t mind if he worked on Christmas Eve. Maybe before her accident they’d arranged to do something else that day. Otherwise, why would she mind?

  If she woke up and found herself back home, she and the girls could pretty the house for Christmas. She’d bake more cookies and make that special meal Derek had mentioned to take to his parents for Christmas. Then she decided to use one of her grandmother’s recipes as well. She fell asleep hugging Agnes’s diary to her chest.

  Chapter 21

  Sunday, December 24

  Heidi woke to the sound of her alarm. She sat bolt upright, devastated. She was in her cold and unfriendly apartment. It was a place she’d once loved dearly, but now the white marble and the Italian tiles made it cold and unfriendly compared with her house filled with love, warmth, and joy.

  The diary hadn’t taken her back. What if she never saw Derek and the children again? Tears streamed down her face.

  She stared at the diary lying halfway under the sheet. Why didn’t it work this time?

  Maybe it had been just a coincidence that the two times she’d been reading it she’d crossed from one dimension into the other. Her stomach churned and she blamed herself for leaving Derek all those years ago. And for what? She’d been chasing a stupid whim and then got caught up in money-making greed and pride in her accomplishments.

  Now she knew that the most precious things couldn’t be bought with money. Everyone always said money couldn’t buy happiness, but it had certainly bought her a two-million-dollar apartment. Her apartment was just an object. Yes, it represented all the hard work she’d put in over the years, but she lived in it alone.

  Now it wasn’t enough for her and she’d gladly give it all away to be back with Derek in their humble home. She felt ashamed that in the past, she’d been too mindful of what others thought of her and that’s why she’d never told anyone she’d been Amish.

  Before she got out of bed and got back on the treadmill of the everyday familiar routine, she prayed that her life wouldn’t always be so wretched.

  After she dressed, it was off to the coffee shop for breakfast. Then it would be on to an early appointment before she headed to her office.

  Today she had to make some changes. She’d change small things at first. Instead of going home to a lonely TV dinner, she would have dinner out by herself. Wanting to feel close to home, and find out the rest of her grandmother’s story, she shoved Agnes’s diary into her carry-all bag.

  Heidi headed out of her building, relieved that Dennis, the temporary doorman, already had someone talking to him. She slipped out of the building without making eye-contact and walked briskly up the road to the café.

  * * *

  As soon as Heidi sat down at her usual booth for breakfast, she thought, Wouldn't it be fun to change things even further and take a whole year off work? She could even travel to all the places her grandmother had gone. She trembled when she realized that would mean her business wouldn’t grow while she was gone, and might even slide
backward. No, she couldn’t do it. Then she realized that her business hadn’t brought her freedom, it had tied her down.

  She pulled the diary out of her bag and as she flipped to the last page, a shiver ran through her. Today was Christmas Eve, and it was Christmas Eve ten years ago to the very day that she left the Amish and left Derek.

  Heidi skipped to the last couple of pages and found the last place that her grandmother had visited. It was the place where the widow, Ruth Yoder, was telling her how to keep house.

  * * *

  This is what Ruth said to me this morning, “This is how I ran my day when I had kinner. Wake up, nurse the boppli, cook breakfast for Joseph and enjoy time with him before waking the older kinner. Then everyone had breakfast, and then Joseph went to work. I’d wash the dishes and then clean the kitchen. Then I’d make the beds and clean upstairs. Of course, the older kinner would help before they went to school. Next, I’d nurse the boppli again, put him down for a nap and then clean the living room. Then it would be a meal for the kinner, before bed. Then I’d cook the main meal I’d eat with Joseph, then I’d wash the dishes, nurse the boppli, give the boppli a bath, put him to bed, have a bath myself and then go to bed.

  She tapped a finger on her chin. "I don’t think I’ve left anything out.”

  “Washing the clothes?” I asked.

  “Ah, that’s done one day a week, rain or sunshine.”

  I found it odd she’d tell me how she ran her household, but still, she was only trying to help me. Surely the daily duties would depend on how many children are in the family. No two households would run the same, I’m sure. Maybe Mamm sent me to the place she knew I’d least like before I came home, just so I would miss everyone more. Although she's very nice, I don’t feel the connection with Ruth that I’ve felt with the other women with whom I’ve stayed.

  * * *

  Heidi skipped some pages. If her grandmother didn’t enjoy the place, she didn’t feel like reading about it. Not today.

  * * *

  I’m home now and I’m on the last couple of pages of my diary. I’ve missed seeing Malachi and now I know that I could be interested in marrying him if he feels the same about me. We’ve never had a conversation about it, so I wouldn’t know. We seem to get along well together and I like being with him. He makes me feel good. We have a few people coming for the evening meal tomorrow night and I’m hoping Malachi will be one of them. I’ve heard he’s back. I feel nervous about seeing him again.

  My parents were right to send me away. I feel I’ve grown up into a woman. If they hadn’t sent me away, I don’t know what would’ve happened. I’ve seen all those different communities with different ideas on things. It was good to see how other people lived.

  To sum it all up, I’ve thought about all the people and places I’ve visited. I’ve zigzagged across the countryside and met so many nice people. I was sad that Vida from Morgantown died, but I met lovely people at Morgantown and will continue writing to Becky, the daughter of the bishop in the community at Morgantown where I stayed. She’s a little younger than I am and we got along really well.

  I can close my eyes and say a prayer for everybody, even Sally Anne. I never want to leave home. I’m sure Furball missed me too.

  When I walked back into the room for the first time since I went away, he put his head up and looked directly at me. I’m sure his eyes said, ‘Don’t go away again!’ Normally, he just stays asleep whenever I walk into my bedroom.

  I hope someday my kinner, if I have them, and maybe even my grosskinner will be interested in my travels and what I’ve written here.

  I have one page left, so to whoever is reading this, these are my hopes. I hope to be able to live happily on my own, as Elizabeth did, if I ever have to. I hope to be joyful as Leah is, and be able to laugh at everything just as she does.

  And, there’s one more thing. I will be grateful for every day because we do not know what tomorrow might bring. Tomorrow is not guaranteed; we only have today. We can plan for our future but it is Gott who decides what will be. We can’t know what He has in store.

  * * *

  Time was getting away from her and Heidi closed the book. “I wish I remembered you, Mammi,” Heidi whispered as she closed the diary. “More than anything, I want to know if you married Malachi. I don’t think you did because my last name is King and if you married Malachi, my last name would be whatever Malachi’s last name was. I can’t remember what it was, but I know it wasn’t King. Oh yes, Arnold, I think it was. That’s an unusual name. Hmm. Unless you married twice, but that’s not likely.”

  Maybe she could write to Maize Yoder. Maize was interested in history and kept a lot of the genealogical records of the area where she’d grown up. That way, she would avoid contacting her mother. She just had to know what became of Agnes when Agnes arrived back home.

  Then it was back to business for Heidi. Even though it was a Sunday, she had an appointment. Just one, but it was still important. She had a meeting with a realtor to see an office space on the opposite side of the city. Even though she wasn’t quite ready to expand the business, if the office space was ideal, she could be tempted to jump in.

  As Heidi drained the last of her coffee, she looked at her wristwatch to see she was running late. That would not do. She was always on time for her appointments, and with the traffic the way it was, that wasn’t always easy. Heidi slid out of the booth, grabbed her bag and coat, and headed out of the café.

  As she stepped onto the sidewalk and looked up the road for a taxi, the rain poured down. Normally she loved the rain, but now it made her miserable. Her business felt like a millstone around her neck rather than a ticket to freedom.

  Instead of feeling blue, she told herself, I should be congratulating myself on how much money I made this year. I can buy anything I want and not worry about budgeting or saving for it.

  As she huddled under the awning of the café to keep out of the rain, she knew she had nothing to look forward to in the new year except more of the same. She wanted to be back with the children and teach them things about life. If she ever crossed back to her other life, she’d be able to tell them all about her grandmother and her travels. She’d also demonstrate all the recipes and all the special hints and tips out of Agnes’s book. Now shivering in the cold, she wanted to be back with her family where she belonged.

  A cold gust of wind came out of nowhere causing her teeth to chatter. If only she’d worn long pants rather than a skirt. She pulled her warm coat around her and then saw a taxi. It was traveling in the opposite direction, but it suddenly stopped. It was too good an opportunity to miss. With a quick look for traffic, she sprinted across the road. Before she reached the taxi, someone stole it and it had already zoomed away. Not wanting to arrive at her appointment wringing wet, she stepped back under another awning to keep dry. Then it occurred to her she might have put her foldup umbrella in her carryall bag. As she rummaged through her bag, she noticed the diary wasn’t there.

  I left it in the café.

  Looking up at the café now directly across the road, she hoped one of the workers had found the book and put it aside. No longer did she care about her appointment; the diary was more important right now.

  As she dashed to get the diary, she heard someone scream, “Stop! Look out!”

  Then the sound of screeching brakes rang through the air and Heidi whipped her head around to see a car heading for her. She froze; it was too late to move. Everything went black.

  In the recesses of her fuzzy mind, she heard someone scream about calling 911, but they seemed a million miles away. The next thing she remembered was an image of someone leaning over her in a white coat. There were bright lights behind him. She opened her eyes again and saw a face covered in a mask, and many muffled voices filled the background of her mind.

  Was she dying? Was this the end? She didn’t want to die, not yet. I need Derek, I need to see him just one more time. Derek!

  * * *

  �
�Wake up, Heidi. Wake up. I’m right here.”

  Heidi opened her eyes when she heard Derek’s deep voice. It was he. She had to blink a couple of times because the light was blinding. She looked down at herself and saw she was sitting up in a seat and clutching Agnes’s book to herself.

  She looked at Derek and watched his mouth open and close as he said, “You’ll miss your bus. They’re calling it now.”

  Chapter 22

  “Your bus is here,” Derek repeated when she didn’t move.

  Heidi straightened up and looked around the bus terminal where she’d left Derek all those years ago. Only thing was, it was happening now. This was it; the moment she’d left Derek, gotten on the bus and ridden right out of his life. This wasn’t like the other time she’d been back there. Derek was thinner and boyish. She reached out and touched his smooth shaven face. “Derek, it’s you.”

  “I hope so.” His lips twisted with amusement.

  If he was young, then that meant … “I’m young again.”

  He laughed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Now stand up and put one foot after the other, or you’ll miss that bus and you’ll blame me for you nodding off.”

  With one hand to her head, she looked over at the bus bound for New York. The queue was quickly getting shorter as people boarded. Then she looked back at the love of her life.

  “What are you waiting for?” He stood and tried to pull her to her feet.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  He smiled at her and sat back down. “Do you mean it?”

  “Jah. I’m staying. I’m never going anywhere again.”