He backed the SUV out of the parking space before pulling onto the highway. Once he cruised to sixty miles per hour, he slid in a CD, cranking the volume so the kid in back would settle down. Shouldn’t take too long since he’d already figured out the tyke’s favorites.
He would have to wait until his child fell asleep tonight before making a move to regain control. But without question, something needed to happen soon to shake things up.
And what was the best way to get back at a man who didn’t scare easily? Hit him where he was vulnerable. Mess with his woman.
Luckily, he had access to Dee’s room key.
Sitting in the back of the Ford pickup and watching the stars, Jacob didn’t hear Dee’s footsteps until she tossed a blanket into the truck bed. He lowered the beer from his mouth. “Get back inside where it’s warm.”
He winced at his own irritable tone, not that it seemed to deter Dee.
“What are you talking about? It’s a balmy forty degrees out here tonight. And no wind chill. The snow’s even melting. I barely need a coat.” She hooked her knee on the tailgate and hefted herself up. “Mind some company?”
“Yes.” He’d had a crap day.
His time with Chase hadn’t netted any great reassurance either way. The guy vowed he loved Emily, but acted like more of a playmate with Madison.
Then he’d realized Emily had screwed up the cash drawer again, coming out short.
And to top it off, Dee looked too damn hot in the new clothes. Helping her was playing hell with his libido. The pink sweater had hugged her breasts all day long.
Just staring at her coat, he wanted to slip his hands beneath and find the soft cashmere—the even softer woman. “Dee, go back inside.”
Ignoring him, she closed the last two feet between them, working her way over the slick patches of metal. Parking lot lights hummed in the silence as she stood, unmoving, hands stuffed in her coat pockets.
Somehow he couldn’t scavenge the words to make her leave. “Damn, you’re stubborn.”
“Damn, you’re cranky.” Without giving him time for a comeback, she jabbed her thumb upward. “Get up.”
“What?”
“Get up. I want to spread out the blanket to sit on.”
He eased to his feet. Why did she have to invade his space, showing up all hot and smelling good when he just wanted to drink his beer and watch the Northern Lights in peace? “I didn’t invite you out here.”
“But you have the best seat in the house.”
Best seat? She couldn’t mean the double entendre the way he would have in referring to her. Still, a grin teased at his face.
Her startled gaze flew to his, down to his backside and up again. A flush crawled up her cheeks that threatened to raise the temperature five degrees. “I, uh, your seat…”
“Thanks.”
“Best place to view the Northern Lights, I meant,” Dee said in a prim, schoolmarm tone. She whipped the blanket out and plopped down. “Come on. Sit.”
He recognized a determined woman when he saw one. Arguing would get him nothing but fired up and frustrated—more frustrated. And he didn’t really want her to go.
“Here.” She flung a wad of something into his lap before dragging a corner of the blanket over her shoulder.
Jacob uncurled one hand from his bottle and picked up…a hat. He set his beer to the side and turned to Dee. “You have a thing about hats.”
“Well then, put it on.”
“Bossy.” A half smile touched his lips, if not his mood. He reached for Dee’s scarf. Did she know she swayed toward him anytime he brushed near her? Like now. Slowly, he unwrapped the length from around her ears. Dee listed forward. It would be so easy to cover her mouth with his and lose himself in her softness.
He tugged the stocking cap over her head. “Hat’s on.”
“Very funny.”
Taking more time than he needed, he pulled her hair free from the back, brushed stray strands away from her face. He ached to pitch aside his gloves and warm her skin with his.
The puffs of air coming from her mouth grew faster, heavier. “I meant for you to put it on yourself.”
His smile hitched higher. “To quote Emily, ‘Duh.’”
He flipped the collar of his coat up and retrieved his bottle. One long swallow later, he relaxed against the cab of his truck. He wasn’t drunk, even though he wanted to be, just buzzed enough to forget why he needed to send Dee back inside. So he let her stay.
How tempting could she be, swaddled in a wool coat with an oversize knit cap on her head? Too tempting after his having spent the day battling his hunger for her. He’d all but gawked through the window at her like some drooling adolescent.
Damn, she was cute.
Jacob tipped the bottle back again.
She pointed into the distance toward the lights striping the sky over the Cascade Range. “That’s Mount Rainier, right?”
He nodded. “Yeah, except around here we call it ‘The Mountain.’”
She chewed her top lip. “That could be a sign, then, that I’m not from this area.”
“Could be. Nice catch on your part. The way you’re putting pieces together, it’s only a matter of time until you have your memory back.” He wanted that for her, even as he wondered how it would affect whatever the hell was drawing them to each other.
“I remembered something. I think my Internet cruising may be working at sparking memories.”
The beer turned flat on his tongue. He should be happy for her, and all he could think was, Now she’ll leave sooner.
“That’s great. Tell me about it,” he prompted as he’d done often during their memory-jogging sessions. Except now her voice held an edge that told him this one was about more than a simple prom dress.
“It’s not much really. Just a snippet.”
“Tell me anyway.”
She crossed her legs and canted forward. “I was looking up stuff on Valentine’s Day and I came across an article about Valentine’s Day getaways.”
“Valentine’s Day? Oh, hell, that’s today isn’t it? The holiday for women.”
She elbowed him. “For guys, too.”
“Yeah, whatever.” He grinned, then remembered…“Tell me about your memory.” A memory sparked by Cupid would likely be about some other guy. He wished he’d brought a six-pack of beer out with him.
“I’m swimming in an indoor pool, and there are mountains showing through the glass wall, like it’s a resort area.”
He so didn’t want to hear about her romantic getaway with a Mr. Smith. “Uh-huh.”
“I wade back toward the stairs, and I’m calling out to someone about not forgetting the baby’s water wings.”
Hell. He’d been a selfish ass thinking of his own needs when it came to her memory. He’d all but forgotten she had a child in the picture.
She glanced at him, her eyes unblinking. “You know, water wings, those little inflatable things that go around children’s arms when they’re swimming.”
“I know.” Over Dee’s shoulder, hazy lights streaked across the sky, as magnificent as ever, but he focused on her.
“Then I hold out my hands for my baby, and man, I’m happy.” She tipped her face up, a Madonna glow shimmering from her like the nimbus glow overhead. “I can already feel the weight of that chubby little body settling against my breasts. I can smell baby shampoo and powder. And I reach just a little more…into empty air.”
Strain pulled lines into the corners of her eyes. “I can’t help but wonder if it might be better remembering nothing. These hints are…torture. I don’t even know for sure if the child I’m remembering is mine. Maybe I was helping a friend or even some stranger as I longed for a kid I don’t have anymore.”
Seeing the pain in her eyes made him want to gather her in his arms and take life’s blows for her. Jacob lifted his bottle. “Want some?”
“Yeah,” she said through a watery chuckle. “I think I do.”
Dee gripped the ne
ck with her thumb and three fingers, pinky extended, and sipped.
She grimaced.
He allowed himself a rusty chuckle. “Guess we can surmise you’re not much of a beer drinker.”
“You wouldn’t happen to have a nice bottle of Merlot on hand would you?”
“Fresh out.”
“Too bad.”
The curve of her grin enticed him to forget with an intoxication that beat anything waiting for him in a bottle.
Northern Lights continued to shoot their paths, silver and pink fingers of light surging across the sky. He had a beautiful woman beside him on Valentine’s Day. It was the perfect setting for seduction—any other night.
Dee scratched a fingernail along the beer label. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m making these memories up, creating a past that I want to have.”
“Do you really believe that?”
She glanced at him. “No. But it’s easier to accept than thinking about a child going to bed without his or her mother.” Her fists clenched. “Damn it, Jacob, why isn’t anyone looking for me?”
The frustration in her voice slayed him—and justified his near-savage need to touch her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I don’t know.”
Her head fell to rest against his chest. “You would never do it, let someone you care about fade away.”
But he’d done just that with his sister.
Jacob shoved the thought aside for the moment and focused on Dee.
She relaxed against him. “When I have these flashes, I know how I felt. Even when I can’t see everything, the emotions are so clear.” She tilted her face up to his. “I love this child, so it must not be a stranger after all. How can I feel so much for a person I wouldn’t even recognize on the street? Is that crazy?”
“Not at all.” The warmth of her seared his side, firing a need to pull her closer. But first he had to know. “What about when you’re asking for the water-wings? How do you feel about the person you’re talking to? What do you hear in response?”
“Airplanes,” she blurted, then looked down at the beer bottle between them, still cradled in her hand. “Silly, and not at all helpful.”
Abruptly she tipped back the bottle for a long gulp at odds with her pinky waving defiantly in the night. She swiped her wrist across her mouth and passed the beer back to him. “Here, take it before I finish it all.”
Their fingers brushed as he reclaimed his drink. He wanted her, wanted to lose himself in her softness, her innocence.
With a last, token effort at distancing himself from Dee, Jacob emptied his longneck with a final swallow. Damn, but he could taste her on the glass. And damned again if he didn’t intend to indulge in a fuller sampling of undiluted Dee.
Chapter 9
D ee watched Jacob lower the bottle, his lips still damp from the beer they’d shared. She couldn’t look away from his mouth, couldn’t stop wanting to kiss him again. But she wouldn’t be the one to make the first move, not this time. Parking lot lights shimmered with a muted glow while she waited, thirsty for the taste of Jacob.
Reaching past her, he set aside the longneck. His arm brushed hers, the heat of his chest warming her until her breasts tightened in response beneath her coat. His eyes stilled her and embraced her with a stormy blue desire, an ache mirrored inside her.
She could see he needed her, maybe for all the wrong reasons, just as she’d needed him after the doctor visit. Suddenly what should be wrong felt incredibly right.
She swayed forward.
“Ah, Dee.” He groaned her name, low and husky, more beautiful coming from his mouth than a simple syllable should have any right to be.
His hand shot up to cup the back of her head, tuck under the hat and flick it free. Her hair swirled around her as his fingers combed sensuous paths along her scalp.
Endless seconds later, Jacob’s mouth skimmed hers. Relief swelled through her as she nestled where she’d burned to be all day, all week, for as long as she could remember. He claimed her mouth. Claimed, and demanded she do the same in return. He tugged on her bottom lip, enticed until she opened to accept him.
Dee decided she’d acquired a taste for beer after all, or maybe it was the way the rich ferment tasted on Jacob’s tongue. The warm tang of it induced a heady rush. Surely the buzzing along her every nerve was a by-product of alcohol.
Yeah, right.
Locking her arms around Jacob’s neck, she explored the breadth of his shoulders as his restless hands slipped beneath her coat to her back, down her waist. God he was big, yet no longer intimidating as she’d feared the first time her eyes traveled up the length of him. She’d learned he used his size for protection rather than intimidation.
Dee snuggled closer, couldn’t get close enough. Without breaking their kiss, Jacob lowered her to the quilt and blanketed her with his body as their legs tangled. Dee danced her tongue against his, learning the taste of Jacob, which only served to send her into another dizzying spiral of pure sensation.
They rolled until she landed on top, and she found she liked it there. Jacob shifted to take her weight fully upon him. She liked that even more, Jacob allowing her some control for a change, even in such a fundamental way.
A clatter rumbled along the truck bed. Dee tried to block out what she didn’t want to hear. The beer bottle clanked, spinning until it shattered against the icy parking lot.
“Jacob—”
“I’ll clean it up later.” He nuzzled her neck again, but the moment had been broken, as well.
Realization chilled Dee more than the frost in the air. What was she doing? Not five minutes ago she’d been sharing memories of the family she’d most likely left behind, and now she was crawling all over Jacob like some sex-starved teenager because of Valentine’s Day sentimentality.
Dee pushed herself up beside him. Jacob blinked twice before flinging his arm over his face.
His arm fell away. “I’m s—”
“Don’t say you’re sorry.” She hugged her knees to her chest in counterpressure against an ache with Jacob’s name tattooed all over it. “I’m the one who should apologize.”
Jacob jackknifed up as he raked his hands through his hair. It wasn’t long hair, but she’d managed to make a fine mess of it all the same, just like she’d done with her life. And might do with his if she wasn’t careful.
“What is it with me, Jacob? I told myself it didn’t matter what had happened before, only what I do now, but I can’t even keep my hands off you for a week. I barely know anything about you, like your favorite ice cream or why your friends call you Mako.” She squeezed her knees harder, pushing all the air free until she could only whisper, “What kind of a woman am I?”
He grasped her chin, his grip a fraction past gentle. “I don’t know what the hell was going on in your life before you came here, either. But regardless of how long we’ve spent together, I do know who you are, the person that’s real, underneath any layer of memories.” His touch gentled to a caress. “There’s an innocence and goodness in you that’s rare, special. Don’t doubt it for a minute.”
She wanted to believe him, yearned to grasp his words with both hands and accept them simply because Jacob said so. But that kind of blind faith, a dependency, also raked over an innately pragmatic part of her.
She had to prove to herself she wasn’t simply a “Mrs. Smith” who drooled over any man. “Then why do I want to lie back on that blanket and finish this?”
Jacob’s jaw flexed.
Dee’s shivered in response. “Not smart, huh?”
“Nope.” His hand shook as he hooked her hair behind her ear. A lone trailer of the Northern Lights shimmered across the sky. “I think you should go inside now.”
“Right. Of course.” She scrambled toward the tailgate.
“Dee?”
She glanced over her shoulder. Heaven help her if he called her back. “Yes?”
“Butter pecan ice cream. And Mako started out as Maaco, like the auto repair company, because
I can fix any engine on any vehicle. Later the spelling tweaked to Mako, as in the shark, because it sounds cool.” He tipped back his head, eyes tipped toward the stars, conversation over.
His words settled into her memory along with his assertion that he knew her very well, regardless of time. She wanted…She didn’t know what.
A final look at Jacob confirmed he’d withdrawn from her. How remote he seemed, with those shadows muting the vibrancy of his beautiful eyes like the aurora lighting the sky then slipping away leaving the world feeling colder and darker than before.
In spite of all her intentions to be his friend while she pieced her life together, she’d done it again. She’d thrown herself at him. It didn’t matter that he’d made the first move tonight. She hadn’t thought to push him away for a long time.
Still wished she hadn’t pushed him away at all.
Dee scrambled out of the truck and raced as fast as she dared through the sludge back toward the warm safety and stark isolation of her hotel room.
Dee sank deeper into the soothing bubble bath, then jolted as she realized the water had cooled. How long had she been in here since tearing off her clothes to soak after the frustrating encounter with Jacob in his truck?
She swiped at the remaining few frothy patches of soap. She must have drifted off. Too bad she couldn’t wake up and find this whole time had been some freaky nightmare.
Except she wouldn’t want to wish away Jacob.
How many of her feelings for him were tied up in dependence? Or some sort of weird crush because he’d saved her? She wanted to think she was above such shallowness, but she didn’t really know that much about herself.
She did, however, know everything about Jacob so far spoke of honor and goodness. Her attraction to him was based on more than the way he filled out his blue jeans.
Laughing, she blew bubbles from the back of her hand. Laughter echoed in the small bathroom, bouncing off the tile and back around her until silence fell again.
Out of Uniform Page 9
