She looked at their sleeping son and could only agree.
‘Have you thought any more about us marrying?’ he asked.
Her answer was automatic. ‘No.’ She shook her head for good measure, her loose ponytail whipping with a crack.
He exhaled slowly. ‘What is stopping you from saying yes?’
‘Everything that stopped me when you first suggested it. Marriage is a terrible idea.’
An edge crept into his voice. ‘Why?’
Orla felt an edge form inside her too, defensive spikes lifting beneath her skin. ‘Because it wouldn’t mean what it should mean. You wouldn’t even be thinking it if it weren’t for Finn. I mean, come on, four years ago you pretended to be someone else and, while I believe you about Sophia, it doesn’t change that you did lie about your identity, and the only reason I can see for you doing that is because you never took me seriously from the start. I was so far removed from what you considered suitable wife material that you didn’t need bother tell me the truth.’
A long pause of silence opened up between them, broken when Tonino took a swig of his beer.
‘Thoughts of your suitability...’ he delivered the word with a curled lip ‘...didn’t cross my mind. When we first met my only thoughts were of bedding you. You didn’t know me. You had no preconceptions. You just wanted me. And that felt great.’
He turned his head to face her. Even with both their eyes masked by sunglasses, his gaze penetrated her flesh and set her heart racing.
She remembered her own instinctive reaction when she’d learned the wealth, connections and power Tonino and his family had. It had frightened her. For many other women, it would have attracted them.
His voice lowered. ‘But then you got under my skin and I knew I had to tell you the truth. The mistake I made was to fly to Tuscany before telling you because Sophia got to you first and fed you all those lies.’
‘No, the mistake you made was not telling me the truth to begin with.’ She shook her head to clear it from the effects of Tonino’s seductive voice. He had a voice that could recite the worst kind of poetry and make it sound like a masterpiece. ‘You were playing with me. I was just a joke to you, some naïve Irish girl you could play make-believe with.’
He downed the last of his beer. ‘Maybe it started like that,’ he admitted, ‘but that is not how it finished. I fell for you, dolcezza, harder than I had ever fallen for anyone, and you ran away rather than confront me and allow me to defend myself. You believed Sophia’s lies.’
‘She was very convincing.’ She rubbed her cheeks, feeling wretched. He was right. She hadn’t given him the chance to defend himself from Sophia’s lies.
‘Sophia is a superb actress.’
‘I think her hatred of me is genuine.’
‘What hatred? What makes you say that?’
‘Did you not see the dirty looks she kept throwing me at Aislin and Dante’s wedding?’
‘All I remember from that wedding is feeling sucker-punched by your reappearance in my life.’
‘She looked like she wanted to throttle me.’
‘Don’t take it personally. She looks at everyone like that.’ Tonino popped the cap off another beer, removed his sunglasses and looked at her squarely. ‘I’ve known Sophia all my life. She’s a bitch, yes, but she would never hurt you. She’s married now and has a child of her own.’
‘Oh.’ She gave a shaky laugh. ‘I suppose I imagined she’d spent the past four years making effigies of me.’
‘Put your fears to rest. She is a professional grudge holder, but her violence is only verbal.’
‘But why the grudge? If you didn’t cheat on her with me, why does she hate me?’
‘Because she knows I ended our engagement for you.’
‘What...?’ Until Orla had lost her memories, Sophia’s pain and her unwitting contribution towards it had plagued her. She’d hoped she could put her guilt to bed but now Tonino was saying the ending of his engagement had been about her? ‘You ended your engagement for me?’
Long moments passed before his nostrils flared. ‘It wasn’t strictly about you. It was about my desire for you. It was a desire no man who is bound to one person should feel for another.’
‘I might be Irish but that’s a riddle too far, even for me.’
He laughed but it contained a bitter tinge. ‘The truth is, Sophia and I should never have got engaged.’
‘Then why did you?’
‘It was something our families always hoped for. Our mothers have been friends since they were babies. It was a running joke between them from when we were babies that Sophia and I would marry and as I neared thirty and felt the urge to settle down, marrying her made sense. On paper we were perfect for each other. You see, dolcezza, when you’re rich you have to think of marriage in terms of reputation and with an eye to the future. My personal reputation is of little concern to me, but my parents’ reputations matter greatly to them. Marriage to a Messina, a family as old and as noble as the Valentes, could only enhance that. And vice versa.’
‘How did they take the ending of the engagement?’
She caught the flash of bitterness on his features.
‘Not well?’ she guessed.
‘No,’ he agreed shortly.
‘I suppose that was understandable.’
His features sharpened. ‘Understandable?’
Feeling she was dipping her toe in water infested by sharks that no one had told her about, she said tentatively, ‘If they were such good friends with Sophia’s parents, it must have been embarrassing for them.’
His jaw clenched. ‘They weren’t embarrassed. They were furious that I’d ruined their dream. They accused me of disloyalty. Can you believe that?’ He ran an angry hand through his hair and shook his head. ‘I knew they wouldn’t be happy about it, but I never expected my mother to come this close to slapping my face or for my father to threaten to disinherit me if I didn’t change my mind.’ He made a distinctive snorting sound. ‘As if I cared about his money. I was already worth far more than him.’
Orla, thinking of all the times her grandmother had threatened to cut her mother off without a penny without actually going through with it—after her death, her mother had shared the small inheritance with her siblings—said softly, ‘And how are things between you now? I assume they must be better if we’re taking Finn to their party.’
He made the snorting sound again.
Dismissive. That was what it sounded like.
‘I will never forgive them for putting their reputations and pride above my happiness but they’re still my parents. We’re still a family and nothing can change that.’
‘Did they disinherit you?’
Her question caused him to pause then give a low chuckle. ‘Not as far as I know.’
‘The threat was made in anger?’
He didn’t answer.
Despite the seriousness of the discussion, a bubble of laughter rose up Orla’s throat. ‘You are so your father’s son.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘When you get angry you make threats you don’t mean. Like your threats of taking custody of Finn... I wonder if he’ll inherit the Valente temper,’ she added musingly.
Tonino stared at her, part in disbelief. Was she taking his parents’ side? Surely not? If it had been one short argument he would get her point but he’d lived with their hot fury for months, a period when his mother could hardly bring herself to look at him. The first big argument had come the evening he’d ended it. He’d done the right thing by telling them personally and immediately.
He’d found solace from their fury in Orla’s arms. He’d turned his phone off and cloistered her in his oldest apartment. Those magical days together had pushed the mess he’d created far from his mind. Unfortunately it had given his parents the time and space to build ever
ything up so when he’d next seen them, they’d been ready to unload their venom at him. Reeling at their selfishness, reeling from Orla’s disappearance, he’d unloaded right back at them.
‘There are some lines that should never be crossed,’ he said shortly. ‘And now that I’m a father it makes their reaction even more unforgivable.’
‘Oh, come on.’ Her shades masked her eyes, but he could swear he heard her eyes roll. ‘They’re only human. Life’s too short to hold on to grudges.’
‘Can you forgive your mother?’
‘That’s completely different. She was always a useless parent.’ And then she surprised him completely by climbing onto his lap and straddling him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed. ‘Remember, to err is human, to forgive divine.’
‘When are you going to forgive me?’
‘I’m working on it.’ And then she kissed him with such tenderness that if Finn hadn’t been sleeping beside them, he would have ripped both their shorts off and taken her there and then.
CHAPTER TWELVE
LATER THAT NIGHT, dressed only in Tonino’s shirt, which she’d adopted as her own, and replete in his arms, Orla made circles around his nipples. ‘Can I ask you something?’
He answered sleepily, ‘Anything.’
‘Did you have any feelings for Sophia?’
She had no idea how she was going to feel whatever answer he gave, but it was a question that had been bugging her since their earlier trip to the beach. It took such a long time for him to answer that she thought he’d fallen asleep, but then a hand burrowed into her hair.
‘I was attracted to her—Sophia is a beautiful woman—but that’s as far as my feelings towards her went.’ He sighed. ‘The chemistry was not there. Not for me. I assumed familiarity would breed desire but I was wrong—all it bred was contempt. We’d been childhood friends but the more I got to know the grown-up Sophia, the less I liked her.’ He twirled a lock of her hair around his finger, his voice dropping to a murmur. ‘But it was only when a beautiful Irishwoman walked into my hotel that I knew I had to end the engagement.’
Her heart skipped.
Tonino kissed her head and tightened his hold around her. ‘You, dolcezza, were the most beautiful woman I had ever set eyes on. I spent the day organising the refurbishment of your room when I should have been in meetings with lawyers and accountants.’
He felt the heavy beats of her heart pressing against his stomach. He felt the stirrings of arousal.
‘I could not stop myself from fantasising about you. I fantasised about stripping you naked and making love to you.’ The stirrings grew stronger. ‘They were fantasies that told me I had to end things with Sophia—how could I marry her when I felt such intense desire for someone else? I did the honourable thing and ended the engagement immediately. I did not ask you out until after I’d spoken to her. When we made love, I was a free man.’ Moving smoothly, he manoeuvred her onto her back and covered her body with his. ‘And I am still a free man. Marry me and you will have me for ever.’
She stared up at him, her eyes like dazed orbs.
Cupping her cheeks, he pressed his nose to hers. ‘You, dolcezza, are still the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. There is no one like you in this world. I have never wanted anyone the way I want you. You are under my skin and in my blood. I want you there for ever.’
And then he kissed her.
Orla, hypnotised as much by his voice as his words, sank into the firmness of his mouth with a sigh, a throb deep inside her already singing its head off in anticipation.
He’d never wanted anyone the way he wanted her?
Well, she’d never wanted anyone but him...
‘Finn can have a good life here,’ he murmured as he kissed her neck. ‘He will have family, cousins to play with, sunshine, ripe fruits...everything he needs to thrive.’ He captured a nipple over the cotton of the shirt covering her body and sucked it greedily. ‘If you won’t marry me, live with me. Move in...’ He moved lower, kissing her shirt-covered belly, taking hold of her thighs and gently spreading them. ‘You will be close to Aislin and Dante.’ He moved even lower and gently raised her bottom. ‘I know how much you miss them.’
‘You...don’t...play...fair,’ she groaned, stickily wet and aching for him.
‘I play to win.’ He pressed his thumb to her swollen clitoris.
She moaned and grabbed hold of the pillow.
‘Tell me this doesn’t feel like winning to you too.’ And then he replaced his thumb with his tongue and any semblance of coherent thought vanished as Orla was suffused in intense, hedonistic pleasure.
* * *
‘We’ll stay until the party. Save Finn having to do all that travelling.’
Orla’s whispered words cut through the sleep pulling Tonino under.
He kissed her shoulder and murmured, ‘If you move in he won’t have to do any travelling between our countries.’
‘I know.’
‘Think about it. For Finn’s sake.’
And, as Tonino finally fell into the oblivion of sleep, his last conscious thought was that it would be for his own sake too.
* * *
The next ten days passed with nothing more said about marriage or them living together. At first Orla had been glad of the reprieve but the longer time passed, the less she trusted it. Tonino was quite capable of bamboozling her with the subject when she least suspected it. She was supposed to be returning to Ireland tomorrow and was still no closer to making a decision.
The problem was, she admitted to herself, she was torn between her head and her heart. Her heart wanted Finn to have all the advantages living in Sicily would give him. Her head, however, kept pointing out that Tonino only wanted her for Finn. The sex between them was just a bonus—a free leg-over, as her grandmother would have primly called it.
But not for Orla. For Orla, the sex they shared... In the depths of her consciousness, she called it making love.
To make things worse, she missed him when he wasn’t there.
He’d been with her and Finn all the time during their first week in his home but then, during their second week, he’d had to work. Work for Tonino consisted of attending important meetings and travelling around Europe on business. At least, that was how it looked to Orla.
There was something incredibly sexy about watching this hunk of a man dress for work, tucking a crisply ironed shirt into his tailored trousers, doing the buttons of the waistcoat, fixing his cufflinks into place, tying the laces of his handmade shoes... The urge to leap out from under the bedsheets and pounce on him would hit her so hard that she would clench her fists and force her mind to think of non-sexy things, like dirty laundry.
How was it possible to ache for someone so badly? And how was it possible to miss someone so much that she kept her phone close at all times, hurrying to answer it whenever he called. Which was often.
He was considerate too. The nights he arrived back so late that she’d already fallen asleep, he would slip into bed and do nothing more than wrap his arms around her. He didn’t wake her for sex. He let her sleep, saving their lovemaking for the morning.
Then yesterday he’d arrived back at the chateau at lunchtime declaring his working week over, and she’d had to fight her legs again not to pounce on him with glee at having him back. Finn had been thrilled to see him too. He’d been so overjoyed to see his father that Orla’s happiness had dimmed and she’d found herself torn into pieces with contradictory emotions that shamed her.
She was ashamed too that the moment he’d left for work on Monday, she’d got straight onto the phone and video-called Aislin for advice, shamed that she called herself an adult when she couldn’t make a decision and shamed to be disturbing her sister’s honeymoon.
Aislin had listened carefully to Orla’s woe then her face had lit up. ‘I knew it! He’s nuts about you.’
She’d burst into peals of laughter. ‘If he still wants you after I made that threat to him, he’s nuts at the least.’
‘Are you drunk?’
‘On happiness!’
‘He isn’t nuts about me. He wants Finn. I’m just the mother of his son.’
Aislin had rolled her eyes. ‘You really need to get out more if you believe that. Look, missus, don’t rush into any hasty decisions but, from my perspective, it would be grand if you moved to Sicily. I miss you and Finn.’
‘You’re having your own baby.’
‘And my baby will want his aunty and cousin close by. I’m not telling you to marry him or even live with him, but if you could bring yourself to live in Sicily then we’ll all be happy.’
‘Why does it have to be my life that’s uprooted?’
‘Because you don’t have a life.’
That was a fact Orla could not argue with.
She’d had a life once. A long time ago. When she’d first met Tonino she’d been excited to embrace the newest chapter of it by starting her dream job. The pregnancy had seen the future she’d worked so hard for slip through her fingers. The accident and its aftermath meant it was unlikely she would ever work again. Even if she could, she didn’t think she’d be able to leave Finn. And if she couldn’t contemplate leaving him for a few hours a day for a job, then how would she cope letting him visit his father for weeks at a time?
Everything pointed to her agreeing to live with Tonino. Or she could do as Aislin suggested and just move to Sicily independently, but that would only cause additional issues.
Marriage was out of the question. Marriage was a commitment that should only be entered between two people who meant their vows. Her mother had been shamed into marrying Aislin’s father because her grandmother couldn’t bear the shame of her daughter having a second illegitimate child by a second man. The marriage had been a disaster and ended after two years.
Deep down was the painful peripheral wish that Tonino’s proposal meant more than a means to having their son living under his roof, but she would not let her mind go there.
Her Sicilian Baby Revelation Page 13
