Going in Deep

by Carly Phillips

  By the time her appointment had ended, all Kendall knew was that she had a dog date with Julian, which would provide time for Kendall to watch him, get to know him again, and lean on her instincts.

  No time like the present, she thought, glancing at her prancing dog, who knew from the leash in her hand they were going out.

  “You ready to make a friend?” she asked Waffles, holding out her harness.

  The dog began to circle around, and Kendall hooked her up, clasped the leash, grabbed her messenger bag, put on her sunglasses, and was ready to go.

  She headed out, more excited for this morning than she’d been for her dinner last night.

  She still felt guilty for not mentioning today’s plans to her sister. She didn’t like lying, even by omission, but there was no way she could have explained the situation to anyone at the table.

  Besides, it was just one friend doing another friend a favor, showing him where to hang out with his dog.

  Liar.

  She frowned at her inner voice. Because the fact remained that Julian wanted more from Kendall than friendship—and a part of Kendall desired more, too. Something she’d have to take one step at a time, if at all.

  There was so much they didn’t know about each other. So many things that had changed about her since they’d been together last.

  She glanced up as she walked. White clouds dotted the sky, and the temperature was in the mid-seventies. In the sun, she didn’t need a jacket, but she’d tied a sweatshirt around her waist, just in case.

  Nerves dancing in her stomach, she arrived at the park early and settled in to wait, releasing Waffles into the gated area so she could play. On such a beautiful day, the park was crowded with different dogs and their owners, and Kendall recognized a few people from her prior trips here. She said hello and waited for Julian.

  Right on time, he arrived, gorgeous as ever in a pair of dark jeans and a white tee shirt, his biceps flexing, arm tattoo visible, giving him a sexy air. Add to that the aviators on his eyes and his dark hair glinting in the sun, and he simply took her breath away.

  In one hand, he carried a cardboard tray with two Starbucks cups in the holders. Steve trotted along beside him, gray ears flopping as he walked. He looked happy and a lot healthier than the last time she’d seen him, and she smiled in relief.

  “Hey, little man!” Kendall said to Steve, waiting until Julian let himself inside the gate and closed it behind him before she knelt down to greet the dog. “You look so much better.” She petted his soft head before rising to her feet and meeting Julian’s amused stare.

  “I hope you’re as happy to see me.” He winked, causing her stomach to pitch and pleasure and arousal to flood through her, her breasts suddenly full, her nipples hard and visible beneath her shirt.

  “I’m pleased to see you both,” she admitted.

  “I brought drinks. A grande vanilla chai for you.”

  “You remembered,” she said, touched by the gesture.

  He smiled. “When it comes to you, I couldn’t forget.”

  Unnerved, she focused on pulling the cup from the holder and removing his as well. He tossed the cardboard in the nearest trash can, released Steve from his leash, and let him join in the dog fun.

  “Here.” She handed him his coffee.

  “So this is where the cool dog parents hang out, hmm?”

  She laughed, looking over the dogs playing, wrestling, tussling for dominance. “It’s a nice-sized area and it’s clean. The people who come here are pretty respectful with their dogs. Oh, look!” She gestured to where Steve and Waffles had found one another.

  Waffles nudged Steve with her nose, then assumed a stiff pose, waiting for some kind of reaction. Steve, on the other hand, shifted his body and froze in another position, each waiting to see what the other would do. Eventually they were rolling around on the ground, wrestling like old friends.

  “Steve’s got good taste,” Julian said, folding his arms across his chest as he watched his dog play. “I guess it runs in the family.”

  Her cheeks warmed, and it wasn’t from the heat of the sun. “Julian,” she said in a warning tone. She wasn’t ready to have an intimate conversation with him about feelings.

  “So let’s catch up,” he said. As if sensing her discomfort, he quickly changed the subject. “How did you end up working at the shelter?”

  She blew out a breath, relaxing at the easy, softball question. She immediately decided if he wanted to have any kind of relationship with her, he needed to know everything—and choose whether to be her friend or to run far and fast.

  “Well,” she said, wrapping her hands around the warm cup, “when I got out of the hospital and Lexie gave Waffles back to me, I knew I needed to start life fresh and get a job.”

  “Whoa. Wait. Hospital? When were you in the hospital?”

  She ran her tongue over her dry lips. The bench had opened up, and she gestured toward it. “Let’s sit.”

  They settled in, and she turned toward him, her knees touching his. “You know I’m bipolar, and after what happened with you and what I did, stealing Kade’s watch, pawning it… I knew I needed more help than weekly therapy could give.”

  He dipped his chin and glanced away. “You did those things because I encouraged you to.”

  She shook her head. “I did those things because it gave me a rush. A high. I was sick, and to be honest, yes, you played into my illness.” She put the coffee cup down and twisted her hands together.

  He covered her hands in his, and she appreciated the comfort he tried to give. “You don’t need to do this.”

  “Yes. I do. Because I think you have this skewed version of who I am in your head. Once you know the truth, you’ll run far and fast, like everyone else,” she muttered before drawing a deep breath and continuing.

  “Anyway, I spent my life letting my sister clean up my messes and take care of me, and I treated her so badly. So after I found out the truth—that you set me up, knew who I was, used me to get to Kade… and I allowed it—I knew something had to change. So I checked myself into Maple Hill, an inpatient psychiatric facility.”

  He placed a warm hand on the back of her neck. “Relax,” he murmured. “And breathe.”

  Her entire body was rigid, she realized, her gaze focused on the playing dogs, because she’d been waiting for his shock, then horror, then any excuse to get away from the mental patient.

  She pulled in a ragged breath and exhaled, forcing herself to take in much-needed air and allowing her muscles to ease up.

  “I didn’t know about the hospital, but it doesn’t change what I think of you. Now go on. I believe I asked you how you got the job at the shelter.”

  He wasn’t running. He still wanted to get to know her. Relief rushed through her as that truth settled in. “Right. The shelter. When I got out of the hospital, medicated and more in control of myself, I needed a job. I’d bought Waffles during one of my manic phases, but she gave me focus in those early days. And I realized that’s what I was good at. Dealing with animals. I started walking the neighbors’ dogs, turned that into a business, and found the shelter job, too.”

  “You found your calling.” His hand remained on the back of her neck, his thumb gently rubbing back and forth. What started as comfort was fast turning to sexual awareness.

  It had never taken much with Julian in the past. A look. A kiss. And they’d duck into the nearest coat closet in a hotel, lock a single-person restroom and go at it there. The doctors explained her heightened sexual need was part of her illness, but she had to admit, she wanted him still.

  She tilted her head and met his gaze. “I guess I’m the female dog whisperer.” She grinned.

  “You’re certainly my whisperer,” he said in a husky voice, his face close to hers.

  His mossy-green eyes grew darker, and she thought he was going to kiss her. Her body was primed and ready, her heart beating inside her chest, her sex damp. Just from the thought of a public kiss.

&nbs
p; She pulled in a deep breath, and he moved in, sliding his nose along the side of hers. “Nothing you said changed my mind,” he whispered. “I want a second chance.”

  It wasn’t a claiming of her mouth; it was so much more. But she had reservations. “I don’t know. There’s so much … pain between us.”

  But the man in front of her wasn’t the same guy she’d known. She felt it deep in her gut.

  “How about we just get to know each other again? No pressure.”

  “What did you have in mind?” she asked.

  “Well, tomorrow night I’m going for dinner at a very good friend’s house. You spoke to him on the phone. Nick Cantone. He’s also my AA sponsor. An alcoholic.” He paused a beat, letting that piece of information sink in before going on.

  “I have dinner with his family on Sunday nights, and I’d like it very much if you came with me. Getting to know them will help you get to know me.”

  In his expression, she saw a vulnerability that was new. A fear she would reject him. He hadn’t run at her big revelation. She wasn’t about to run at his.

  AA. Alcoholics Anonymous. He’d mentioned that once before, in the car when he’d apologized. He, too, was working on his issues. She didn’t have to think twice about her answer.

  “I’d love to come.” She didn’t know what she was getting herself into, but she couldn’t deny she wanted to find out.

  The rest of the afternoon didn’t involve anything serious in the way of conversation. Instead they talked about his job, the building of his business, and the surprises involved with adopting a pet.

  He picked up a stick and threw it. Steve ran for the object and brought it back to Julian. “Good boy!” He petted the dog on his head. “All that ball tossing in the apartment paid off.” He glanced at Kendall. “I throw toward the bathroom. He’s got room to run and retrieve.”

  “I’m impressed.” She picked up a different stick and tried the same thing with Waffles.

  The fluffy dog ran, picked up the stick, lay down, and began chewing on it.

  “Terriers,” Kendall muttered. “They have a stubborn mind of their own.”

  Julian laughed. “She definitely does her own thing.” He met her gaze, laughter in the green depths. “This has been fun,” he said. “We should do it again.”

  Pleasure suffused her at his suggestion. “Because the dogs are now best friends?” She gestured to where the two pets were now tussling for the same stick.

  “That’s one reason. And because, like I said, I want us to be more.”

  * * *

  Julian headed to pick up Kendall for his dinner at the Cantones’. Every time he recalled her agreeing to join him, he released a breath and sat up straighter, knowing he’d accomplished something important during their trip to the dog park. He’d gotten her back into his life.

  Baby steps, he thought, the whole experience putting him on edge. What did he know about taking it slow? Baring his soul? But he was doing it, wasn’t he? She was joining him for what would be as close to a family dinner as he could have.

  He’d never known his father, who’d abandoned the family when Julian was nine and his sister, Alyssa, was one. They hadn’t gotten along anyway, except clearly they’d gotten together, because Alyssa was an oops baby, as his mother liked to say. His mother had turned into a functioning alcoholic, as Julian thought of her. She’d worked and raised her children, but alcohol was her crutch and always in her system.

  Julian had sworn he’d never let a substance dictate how he lived or behaved. Damned ironic. That was exactly what he’d done. His mother’s trigger had been his father’s leaving. Julian’s trigger had been his sister’s accident. Not something he liked to think about, but he’d dealt with it enough, so for now he pushed that thought away and focused on the night ahead.

  He’d never brought a woman to meet his friends, let alone this friend, his sponsor and the man who’d all but saved his life. And knew him best.

  Kendall opened the door, wearing a V-neck, multicolor draped dress in light blue tones. Her eyes sparkled, her cheeks were bright, and he caught a glimpse of the woman he’d known, who was always up for any adventure.

  “Looking good, kitten,” he said, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her on the cheek. He wanted to do more, but “tread lightly” was his motto.

  She blushed. “Thank you.” She turned to Waffles, who was nuzzling her head against Julian’s jean-clad legs. “Be good, girl. I’ll be back later,” Kendall said.

  Waffles whined in response.

  “We’ll bring you to see Steve again soon,” Julian promised in an attempt to soothe the dog.

  She whined again and lay down on the floor, gazing up at him with pathetic eyes.

  “Are they born knowing how to make us guilty? Steve does the same thing.”

  Kendall laughed, the sound light and airy, going right to his groin.

  “Ignore her. She’s perfected the sad face. I have a camera here and an app on my phone. I can see her while I’m gone. She sleeps the whole time. Bye, puppy.” She blew a kiss, grabbed a bakery box from the counter, and they walked out the door.

  She led him to the elevator, giving him a view of her spectacularly tight ass, hips swaying as she walked ahead of him.

  Nick and his wife, Lauren, lived in a two-bedroom on the Upper West Side. The apartment was for sale because they were ready to move to a house in the suburbs, but they hadn’t been able to sell it for what they wanted yet. Julian would miss them living in the city and attending the same meetings, but like everything else in life, he’d adjust. He was just grateful he was finally in a good place and didn’t have to rely on Nick as he had in the past.

  Together he and Kendall took a cab to their destination, the driver talking to them the entire way. Kendall shot him an amused smile, and impulse had him reaching out and grabbing her hand and running his thumb over her soft skin.

  Her eyes opened wide, but she didn’t pull away, which gave him a silent thrill as they sped through Manhattan.

  Chapter Five

  Kendall trembled from the way Julian looked at her from the minute she’d opened the door. He had a way of making her feel beautiful with just that sexy glint in his eye, and she had to admit, a girl could get used to feeling that way. They were also growing more comfortable around each other, something else she couldn’t help but notice. And it was only the second time she’d seen him… or this new and improved version of him, anyway.

  Once they arrived at the Cantones’ apartment, Kendall didn’t have time to be nervous. They were greeted by Nick, a good-looking man who appeared slightly older than Julian, with gray streaks in his hair, and his wife, a bubbly, petite blonde named Lauren, and their ten-year-old son, Brian.

  “Uncle Julian!” The boy, with light brown hair, barreled into Julian in his excitement to see him.

  “Hey!” Julian did some kind of weird guy-bonding handshake with the little boy.

  Kendall’s heart did an unfamiliar thump at the sight of the man and the child together. It was an adorable sight to see.

  “I’m so happy to meet you,” Lauren said, interrupting her thoughts as she grasped Kendall’s hand.

  “Thank you for inviting me.” She held out the box of bakery cookies she’d bought to bring with her.

  “You didn’t have to, but thanks! Come, join me in the kitchen. I just have to put the finishing touches on dinner.”

  Julian met her gaze, and she reassured him with a nod and a smile. She could handle herself, and Lauren seemed friendly.

  They left the men alone and headed for the kitchen, which was a simple setup, white walls and stainless steel appliances. City apartments were so small; it was obvious why the couple was ready to move out.

  “Can I get you something to drink? I’d offer you wine, but I don’t keep alcohol in the house.” She glanced at Kendall, a knowing look in her gaze.

  Kendall understood Lauren’s husband was a recovering alcoholic and nodded in reply. “A Diet Coke
would be great. I don’t drink, either.” She drew a deep breath, deciding on honesty from the start. “Bipolar meds don’t mix well with alcohol,” she said.

  There was every chance Julian had already told Lauren and Nick all about her, and this was his family. She didn’t mind sharing.

  Lauren treated her to a warm smile. “We all deal with something, don’t we?” She opened the oven and put on protective mitts, pulling out a lasagna. “So Julian’s never brought a woman around before. This is a big deal.” She placed the casserole tin on the cooling tray on the preset kitchen table. “You’re a big deal.”

  Kendall felt her cheeks heat. “I don’t know about that. Julian and I have a complicated history. I think, by bringing me here, he wants me to see him in a different light.”

  “And do you?” Lauren asked.

  Kendall froze. She wasn’t ready to discuss her feelings for Julian with a stranger, even one as friendly as Lauren. She’d barely pieced them together herself.

  The other woman shook her head. “I’m sorry. That’s none of my business. I have a habit of being too forward. Just ask my husband. I invited him on our first date.”

  She laughed at herself, and Kendall liked her even more.

  “Let’s talk about something else,” Lauren suggested. “Julian tells me you work at a dog shelter.” She picked up the pitcher of water and placed it on the table.

  “The shelter is in Midtown.” And Kendall loved talking about her work. “There’s no better feeling than to place dogs that come in desperately needing homes.”

  Lauren spun back around. “Wonderful! Because when we move out of the city, soon I hope, I promised Brian a dog. I should come check out your shelter.”

  “Any time. We have an open door, and sadly, we get new dogs all the time.”

  “You can leave the information over there.” Lauren pointed to a notepad and pen by the phone.

  Kendall did as she asked, then turned back. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “Actually I’m all set. Boys!” Lauren called out, her voice rising. “Dinner’s ready!”