Kendall swallowed hard. “Go on.”
“One afternoon, I met up with him to score. I had the shit in my pocket and all of a sudden, the cops came out of nowhere. I took off but the cops couldn’t catch me. Billy got popped for dealing and possession. I skated and he went to jail.” Julian shook his head.
Kendall blew out a sharp breath.
Julian went on. “Alex was left as a ward of the state. That was my wakeup call to get clean. Except… I was so wrapped up in withdrawal and my own problems I didn’t give a thought to what happened to Alex.”
Kendall tried to process his words and her feelings. Of course, she felt for the girl who’d lost her brother and ended up in foster care. “What’s going on now?”
“She aged out of foster care and has nowhere to go. She was staying with some kids who got out before her, but it was a bad situation, a rough crowd. They stole the money she’d saved from working. And I don’t think she’s been eating much, either,” he said, lowering his voice.
“She came here?”
He nodded. “I couldn’t very well turn her out on the street or send her back to where she came from, could I?”
“No,” she breathed out, taking in the story and feeling sorry for the young girl.
She also saw yet another side to Julian. A caring, sensitive, selfless side. So opposite of the man who’d callously used her last year. More proof that he really had changed. Was different. More self-aware.
The man she used to know would never have taken in a young girl who had nothing to do with him today. He wouldn’t feel guilty for leaving her behind to beat his addiction. This was the man she cared about.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“That I admire what you’re doing for her.” She felt the smile lift her lips. “That I admire you.”
He blinked in surprise. “You’re not upset that she’s here?”
“What would it say about me if I was?” Kendall asked.
It was his turn to grin. “Thank you.” He reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tight.
“For what?” she asked.
“For believing in me.” He met her gaze. “I’m not sure I remember the last time someone told me I did good.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close. Everyone should have someone who believed in them, she thought. Even at her worst, she’d had her twin. “You’re doing the same for that girl. Let’s call her back in so I can meet her.”
Julian gazed at Kendall appreciatively, as if she’d hung the moon. “Alex!” he called. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”
An hour later, she’d spent time with the girl who, despite a crappy set of life circumstances, had managed to come out with a positive attitude and a good work ethic. She wanted to make something of herself, did well in school, and held down a part-time job in the afternoons. She’d kept her head down in foster care and lived with a decent enough family—at least until she no longer brought money in from the government.
And she definitely trusted Julian, while he clearly had a soft spot for her, too. He treated her like a little sister, which made Kendall even more eager to meet his real sibling and check out their dynamic for herself.
“I want to meet the dogs at your shelter,” Alex said as Kendall was getting ready to go home.
“Everyone does.” Kendall grinned. “As soon as I tell people where I work, they want to come see.”
“Do you have a day you don’t work after school?” Julian asked.
Alex nodded.
“Then please come by,” Kendall said. “I’ll give you a tour.”
“Thank you.” Alex’s eyes had been sad when Kendall first met her, but now they sparkled with excitement.
Mission accomplished.
“I need to get home to my dog.” Kendall rose to her feet.
“I’ll walk you out,” Julian said. He led her to the door, his big hand on the small of her back.
Whenever he touched her that way, he never failed to make her feel delicate and important.
He stepped into the hall and shut the door behind them, pulling her into his arms and sealing his lips over hers. He kissed her, his tongue sliding inside. She moaned, threading her fingers into his hair and holding him tight, fully aware of every glide of his mouth over hers and the meeting of their tongues.
He pressed her against the wall, his body aligning with hers, his erection grinding against her stomach.
The sound of a door slamming penetrated her consciousness.
“Take it inside,” a male voice said, sounding annoyed.
Kendall’s cheeks heated as the neighbor walked by.
“Sorry,” Julian muttered, one arm braced over her shoulder, against the wall behind her.
“Are you?” she asked, her body still buzzing from that heated, sensual kiss.
“No.” He grinned and brushed his lips over hers once more.
She laughed.
“I’ll walk you down to get a taxi,” he said, grabbing her ass for a quick squeeze.
She blushed and shot him a faux dirty look. And wondered when the last time was that she’d been this happy. The answer came to her immediately.
Never.
* * *
For someone who spent life spiraling between highs and lows, regular old everyday happiness was a scary thing to face. Kendall woke up in the mornings excited for the day but not soaring and in search of another, bigger high. In the normal scheme of things, she was working, planning for the future, and learning she could live a fulfilling life. Julian had added a dimension she hadn’t considered, and she definitely spent a good amount of her therapy time discussing his return.
Her doctor, true to form, didn’t offer an opinion one way or another, but asked probing questions that led her to look at all sides of her own behavior and choices, that she thought about as she spent the morning at work cleaning up the cages.
And there was a lot to clean. It seemed if one dog got sick, another did, too, even if the illnesses were unrelated. The local vet who volunteered came by and checked everyone out, administering medication and fluids where needed.
She hadn’t planned on a boyfriend. A man who was willing to integrate his life with hers, to accept her, flaws and all… just as she was accepting him. But for every minute of happiness, she had a few moments of can this be real? She realized that he’d contributed to that fear and the fact that she now trusted him scared her.
She washed her hands well with a lavender-scented antibacterial wash and returned to the front room to find Lauren Cantone talking to Josie.
“Lauren!” Kendall walked over, and Lauren gave her a hug.
“I told you I’d be by.”
Kendall smiled. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Don’t tell Brian. If he knew I didn’t bring him along with me, he’d be so upset. But if I brought him, he’d fall in love, and be begging me to bring a dog home tonight.”
“I totally understand.”
“You aren’t looking for a dog?” Josie asked from her seat at her desk.
“We were waiting until we sold our apartment, and this past weekend we got an offer and accepted! We also found a house we love. It’s all moving so fast, but we’ve been ready for a long time.” Excitement shone in her brown eyes. “I thought I’d come say hi to you and look at the dogs.”
“My favorite thing.” And at least it was all clean inside, Kendall thought wryly.
She took Lauren into the back, and they strode down the walk with the cages on either side. She stopped at each crate, paying attention to the individual dogs. Most were mixed breeds, some fluffy, others flat-haired, all sweet and looking for homes.
“As soon as we’re in our new house, I’ll bring Brian back,” Lauren promised.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” Lauren paused, leaning against the metal grating.
“You’ve known Julian for a while now. Nick said he’s changed a lot in the last yea
r, and I see it, too. But do you think it can last? That I can trust the man I see now?” Kendall bit the inside of her cheek.
On the one hand, it seemed like a betrayal to talk about Julian to his friend’s wife. On the other hand, who knew him better than his sponsor’s family? And ever since she’d considered confiding the truth to her sister about her relationship with Julian, one thing nagged at her. Trusting her own instincts. They’d betrayed her in the past. And it wasn’t just her instincts involved now, it was her heart. Much more than before.
Lauren met her gaze. “You care about him a lot.”
There was no point in denying it. “I do. And honestly he hurt me before. I’m afraid I’m listening to my heart too much.” But her head was telling her she could believe in him, too.
“Here’s what I know, from someone who’s dealt with an addict their whole lives. The man you’re seeing now, the sober, in control man who has learned his lessons, he’s real.”
“But he was sober when he hurt me last.”
Lauren inclined her head. “I know. I think everyone’s rock bottom is different. For some it happens when their family walks out and they realize they have to get sober because they’ve lost everything. For others it happens because they end up hurting someone else. A drunk driver can kill or injure someone in an accident.”
Kendall winced at the realities and nodded her understanding.
Lauren went on. “In Julian’s case, he held on to bad behaviors that probably preexisted the addiction. It took hurting and losing you for him to see who he’d become. He didn’t like that man and he decided to change.”
“Just because of me?” she asked.
“You were the catalyst that forced him to see himself.” She shrugged. “Is it that simple? I guess in his case it was.”
That, along with his life events that had shaped the man he was today, Kendall thought.
“Thank you, Lauren. I’m so glad you came by.”
Lauren pulled her into a hug. “Me, too. Maybe we can get lunch one day?”
For other people, the offer might not mean much, but for Kendall, it meant she had something precious. It meant she had a friend.
Chapter Nine
Over the next two weeks, Julian fell into a routine he could get used to. He woke early, worked from home as usual, then often met up with Kendall, spending his evenings at her apartment with the dogs until nearly midnight, at which point he headed home. He didn’t want to leave Alex alone overnight.
In the time she had been staying with him, she’d been a model houseguest. She went to school in the morning and worked in the afternoons. Occasionally she made dinner for them both or accompanied him to Kendall’s to eat. Or Kendall came up to his place and the three of them hung out for a while.
Julian admired how quickly and easily Kendall had taken to Alex, and vice versa. Kendall’s new easygoing personality, her calm, caring demeanor had brought Alex out of her shell. It was obvious she hadn’t had a mother figure in her life, and she looked up to Kendall.
On the nights he and Kendall were alone, they made the most of their time. There was plenty of talking and getting to know one another better, but there was also sex. Which was coming to feel like a lot more than just satisfying an itch with a woman he desired. It wasn’t something he dwelled on, not when things were going so perfectly. He just wanted to indulge and enjoy.
Tonight he wasn’t seeing Kendall, so he turned into bed early. He couldn’t sleep, and it wasn’t because Steve’s body was aligned with his, pushing him to the edge of the bed.
Needing a distraction, he reached for his phone and called the one person who always made him smile.
His sister. “Hey squirt!” Julian said, pushing himself up in bed, resigned to a sleepless night.
“Hey, pain in my ass.” Alyssa laughed.
“Is that any way to talk to your older brother?”
“It is when you haven’t introduced me to your girlfriend… and you promised.”
Julian groaned. “I know.” He’d planned on broaching the subject soon… and then Alex had intruded. “We’ll have to get you over here because I also want you to meet Alex in person.”
“The girl who’s living in your extra bedroom,” Alyssa said, as if reminding herself.
“Right. She has nowhere to go.”
“Aha, so you have two other women in your life. Should I be jealous?” Alyssa asked. Her quick chuckle told him she was anything but.
His sister was all sweetness and easygoing charm. She often spoke extra slowly, sometimes stuttered over a forgotten word or event, and needed the comfort of routine, but she was a genuinely kind, caring soul. How she’d ended up with Julian as a brother was beyond him. If she knew half the things he’d done…
“Julian, you aren’t going to answer me? Maybe I should be worried.” Alyssa’s voice cut him off from giving himself a hard time.
“Sorry. I got lost in thought,” he said honestly. “Of course you have nothing to worry about. You’re my favorite squirt.”
“So when can I meet them?” Alyssa asked.
“How about this weekend?” Julian made the offer hoping Kendall was free.
“Sunday,” Alyssa said. “I work Saturday afternoon,” she said slowly, as if she was thinking or checking her schedule.
“I’ll check with Kendall and see what I can do,” Julian said, pleased the two most important people in his life were finally going to meet.
* * *
Kendall met up with Julian, Alex, and Julian’s sister, Alyssa, at the dog park. The sun was shining overhead after a week of rain, and she welcomed the dose of vitamin D along with the warmth on her skin. Because it was early, the park was empty, but it would fill up soon enough because of the sunshine.
Waffles and Steve were excited to see each other and immediately began running, chasing each other in circles around the enclosed area.
Julian did the introductions, and Alyssa greeted Kendall with an excited hug. “It’s so won… wonderful to fin…ally meet you!”
Kendall hugged her back, understanding her slower speech from Julian preparing her on the phone last night about the challenges Alyssa still faced from her traumatic brain injury. “I’ve heard a lot of good things about you,” Kendall said to the pretty girl.
“Same here,” Alyssa said.
“You look like your brother. Same eyes. Same mouth.” Kendall grinned. “Good gene pool.”
“Thank you.”
Julian stood to the side, watching the interaction, a pleased smile on his face.
“Can I play with the dogs?” Alyssa asked, gesturing to where Alex was already kneeling down, petting Steve’s belly.
“Of course. It’s not comfortable on the ground. We can go back to my apartment, but it’s such a beautiful day I thought it would be nice to hang outside for a little while.”
“I love the fresh air.” Alyssa smiled and walked a few steps and knelt beside Alex.
The two girls began to talk, their attention on the playful pups who alternated between nudging at their legs and going for each other.
“Want to sit?” Julian gestured to the bench they’d sat on the last time they were here together.
“Sure.” She settled in beside him, their legs touching.
He reached out and curled his finger around a lock of her hair, tugging gently. “She likes you.”
Kendall smiled. “We just met but I like her, too. She seems sweet.”
“She is. The best kind of sweet. Innocent sweet.”
She was sure all brothers wanted to think that of their sisters, but looking at how Alyssa interacted with Alex and the dogs, Kendall figured Julian was right. Alyssa was special.
After twenty minutes of watching the girls with the dogs, talking about everything and nothing, and the park filling with people and pets around them, an idea came to Kendall.
“Look at your sister.”
Julian did as she asked.
“Look at how relaxed she is, the puppy in
her lap and she’s almost… serene.”
“She is,” he agreed. “She’s like that when she’s working with flowers. It gives her peace.”
“Did you ever think of getting her an emotional-support dog? Or letting her work with a dog to become one? It would be great for her to have a companion animal.”
He scrubbed a hand over his light growth of beard, a sexy addition, in her opinion. One that made her female parts sit up and take notice. She’d like to feel that whisker burn between her thighs, she mused, trembling at the thought. But not in a public place, and that’s where they were, so she waited for him to respond.
“I like the idea,” he said at last.
“Does she have a doctor who would write a letter recommending she have an emotional-support dog for her condition?” Kendall asked.
Julian glanced over at his sister. “She does. What would she need it for?”
“Flying or if her landlord doesn’t allow pets. But I think an animal would be a huge comfort to her,” she said, just as Alyssa picked up Waffles and buried her face in the dog’s fur.
“And I’m sold on the idea,” Julian said, laughing.
His laugh hit all the right parts of her, emotionally and physically. He was so handsome in his aviators and bright smile, her heart squeezed at the sight of him, just as desire worked its way through her body.
“Thank you. The fact that you noticed that, it’s going to make such a big difference in her life. I can just tell by looking at her.” He stared at his sister with adoration and love, enabling Kendall to see just maybe why he’d gone to the lengths he had to ensure her well-being and future.
And a man who loved so completely, a man she was developing deep feelings for, couldn’t be bad.
* * *
Julian walked into her apartment, Chinese food bag in hand, and she greeted him with a kiss on the mouth, one he’d been starving for all day. Her warm lips settled on his, causing his cock to do an eager jump.
A flying dog separated them when Waffles did a leap for the food, her paws landing on Julian’s stomach. Steve, meanwhile, lunged for Waffles.
Julian raised the bag, keeping it out of the dogs’ way. “Go play.” He gestured inside and both dogs took off running. Of course, this was a New York City apartment and they couldn’t go far.
Going in Deep Page 10
