by Carol Ross
“I think so.”
“Good. Because in addition to your high standards, you can get so wrapped up in your work, or a project, or with saving the world, that you don’t stop and see what is right in front of you. In spite of your expectations, or maybe because of them, you can also be a little oblivious and maybe a bit, um, hyper-focused? That’s what happened with your dad and me. He was focused on a bigger picture and kind of forgot about me there for a while.”
Aubrey listened as her mom filled her in on more details. By the time they caught up to Eli and Camile again, Aubrey was glad. She needed time to absorb what she’d heard. She wanted to talk to someone.
* * *
AS IT TURNED OUT Eli didn’t have to figure out a way to tell Aubrey about his dad and her mom. Fate, and Susannah Wynn, took care of that for him.
He and Aubrey stopped by her house after the treasure hunt to grab lunch before heading to the pool for a swim. They hadn’t gone swimming together in twelve years. He didn’t count the ocean rescue in their flight suits. He’d been looking forward to it, thinking about how much fun they used to have. Wondering if she still wore pink swimsuits and whether he could beat her in an underwater race now.
Until she said the words, “Eli, there’s something I need to tell you...”
She went on to recite the details Susannah had disclosed. She added some more that strengthened Eli’s belief that Brian Wynn wasn’t quite as terrible as he’d believed for all these years.
“My mom says she didn’t have an affair. Just that she wanted to. Do you think that’s possible?” She threaded her fingers together and dipped her chin down to rest upon them. “Isn’t that what people say when they want to admit something without feeling too guilty about it?”
Eli believed it. Because he’d been thinking about this a lot and he couldn’t remember his dad ever saying they’d had an affair. He’d simply said that he was in love with Susannah, that he’d needed to get out of Pacific Cove, and that Brian had arranged a transfer for him. Looking back, he recalled how despondent his father had been. He’d seemed almost broken. Being so young, Eli hadn’t questioned him thoroughly enough, he could see that now. He’d pieced together the rest and hadn’t exactly done a bang-up job of it.
“My dad was gone a lot back then. I remember my mom complaining about that occasionally. But I don’t remember any other man ever being around...”
Which gave him the opening he needed. “Except my dad?”
Her head snapped up and she froze, green eyes full of shock as the truth hit her with all of its cruel and unrelenting force.
Her voice came out a hoarse whisper. “Your dad and my mom?”
Eli nodded.
“You knew about this? All these years you knew? And you never told me?”
“It wasn’t my secret to tell. When my dad told me, he didn’t know about you and me.”
“Eli, that’s unfair, and you know it. If the situation were reversed, you would have wanted me to tell you. You’d be furious that I hadn’t told you.”
This was true. He hadn’t thought of that at the time, either. He’d been so concerned for his dad and the probable blow to his career. To Eli, on the verge of entering the academy and dreaming of his own career, the Coast Guard had been everything. The loss of his father’s future had seemed like the end of the world.
“Maybe you’re right, but...”
Aubrey folded her arms across her chest, her shock seemed to be morphing into anger. “I am right.”
“I’m trying to apologize here, Aubrey. Even now, I’m not sure I should have told you. At the time I was sure they’d had an affair. I love your mom and I didn’t want to hurt her. And your dad... I’ve spent the last twelve years hating him. Unfairly, I think now. I didn’t want to be responsible for harming your parents’ relationship, but mostly I didn’t want to see you get hurt by it all.”
“I think the only person responsible for that would be my mom. And your dad, too, to some degree. But why would you hate my dad? He seems to be the innocent one here.”
Eli agreed. “He was—is. Except... Apparently he found out about them. I think that’s what prompted my dad to take the transfer to New Jersey.”
Her look turned sharp. “He said that?”
He thought for a second. Had his dad actually said that? Eli realized he really didn’t know. “Back then I was under the understanding that your dad gave him an ultimatum—either take the transfer or he would expose the affair.”
“That’s not possible. My mom said my dad didn’t know about another man, only that she was unhappy.”
* * *
FINDING IT IMPOSSIBLE to sit still, Aubrey stood and paced the length of her small living room. The blood was now racing through her body, pulse pounding hard in her ears. Something else occurred to her and she stopped.
“Why are you telling me this now?” Even as she asked the question, the answer occurred to her. Was this why he’d broken up with her? This perfectly lame excuse had caused him to leave her? No matter the fine points, and in this moment she didn’t really care about them, because her parents were still together and appeared happier than they’d ever been. Although, she realized now, Tim’s transfer had probably been what had saved their marriage.
“Isn’t that obvious?”
“Maybe. But I want you to clarify just in case I’m mistaken in thinking that you broke up with me not because of me but because of something going on with our parents!”
“Aubrey, calm down.”
“What makes you think I’m not calm?” she asked much too calmly.
He swallowed nervously.
Good, she thought. He should be nervous.
He lifted his hands, palms down, fingers spread. “Yes. I left you—stupidly—I see that now. But at the time, I knew we couldn’t stay together. I wouldn’t have been able to keep this information from you. Think about it. We were so close. You were like a part of me. At the same time, I knew I couldn’t ruin your life—your family. I could not do that to you.
“Instead of being angry with your mom and my dad, I channeled all of that toward your dad. All I could think about was that he was destroying my dad’s career. His life. My life. But the worst part of it all was having to break up with you. It was like tearing my own heart out. That’s why I didn’t keep in touch. I couldn’t talk to you, and laugh with you, and see you, and not...have you be mine.”
She melted a little at those words and at the way he was staring at her, every inch of him seeming to plead for understanding. He looked incredibly frustrated and just...sad. And he was right; they had been close, so very close. She had no choice but to concede part of what he was saying.
They began speaking at the same time.
“I can see how you’d think that. And I...”
“Aubrey, I’m so, so sor-ry... R-r-really?”
His eager gaze latched onto hers, asking a question she was only too happy to answer.
“Don’t get too excited. I’m still angry. You’re right, it would have hurt me. It might have destroyed my family, and probably hurt your dad even worse than he was already hurting. Back then, I never would have been able to keep this information to myself.” She was good at keeping secrets, but not this one. This wasn’t a matter of keeping someone’s confidence. This was information that affected a lot of people.
Suddenly chilled, she sidestepped to stand in front of the tiny wood stove that heated her house. “You still should have told me. You can’t control what I get to know, Eli, in order to protect me. Just like you can’t protect me from every physical danger that comes along.”
He came forward and stood before her. “Aubrey...”
The way he whispered her name caused a sharp pang to shoot through her. For some annoying reason, hot tears began to roll down her cheeks. She dipped her head into her sleeve to mop them up.
He took her hand and led her to the sofa. He sat and urged her down next to him. She complied and he immediately cradled her against
his chest.
Aubrey let the enormity of the situation—of his admission, of her mom’s disclosure, of their discussion and the details of their breakup—sink into her.
“You’re right. I was an idiot,” he said. “I can see that so clearly now. We would have found a way to work it out. We shouldn’t have had to suffer for their sins, whatever or however severe they might have been.”
“Wow,” Aubrey finally said. “What a mess.”
Eli blew out a long sigh. “Yep.”
“What are we going to do?”
“I have absolutely no idea.”
“There is one thing I do know, though.”
“What’s that?”
She sat up and looked him square in the face. “In order for us to have a chance of making this—whatever this is—and I don’t care if it’s just friendship... But in order to make something work with us, you can’t do this anymore. No more deciding what I get to know. And no more thinking that you need to protect me, okay? I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Do you think you can remember that, knight?”
He bent his head and brushed a soft kiss across her lips. “I will try, mermaid. I will try.”
And then he kissed her again.
CHAPTER TWELVE
ELI REMEMBERED THE exact date he’d discovered the cave. It was the second of May, memorable because he’d just turned sixteen and gotten his license the day before. His dad had let him take his Jeep out for a drive. The afternoon had been bright and clear and he’d driven up to the lighthouse simply to enjoy the view. The year before, Alex had managed to steal a key and occasionally they’d let themselves inside and climb to the top.
But that day Alex hadn’t been with him so he’d parked, deciding to take a hike along the cliff’s edge. He’d walked for maybe a half mile and, although the weather had been sunny and warm, it was breezy like it usually was along the ocean’s edge. A gust of wind had taken him by surprise, lifting his baseball cap from his head. It had sailed over the edge and landed about fifty feet down the cliff on a wide ledge of rock. He probably wouldn’t have bothered except that the cap was his favorite. Aubrey had given it to him after she’d attended a Gonzaga University basketball game with her dad.
Studying the situation, he’d decided that it wouldn’t be that difficult to retrieve. He’d carefully picked his way down until he’d reached the ledge. As he’d retrieved his hat and turned to face the cliff before him, he’d noticed a narrow crevice in the rock face. He doubted he would have explored further than that except that a butterfly had chosen that moment to flit by, disappearing into the space. Curious, he’d gone closer and discovered the opening to a small cave.
The next day he’d brought Aubrey back with him. They’d visited the cave regularly and, when they’d started dating, it became their “spot.” The place they’d go to be together, to talk or to enjoy the ocean. He hadn’t been back in twelve years and he found himself wondering if Aubrey had. He’d never shared the cave’s existence with another living soul. By mutual consensus, they’d never even showed Alex, knowing that he’d never be able to keep it a secret. And later they’d wanted the place for their own. Even now, the idea of her bringing someone else here, to their place, bothered him.
With Aubrey in the passenger seat beside him, he drove past the lighthouse and parked. Turning off the engine somehow revved up his nerves. What would she think about this? If she had any doubt about his intentions this would certainly steer her toward thinking he was serious.
She was staring out the passenger window. “I can’t believe you brought me here.” With her head turned away and her voice so soft, he couldn’t gauge her reaction.
When she turned to look at him, her serious expression had him believing he’d made a mistake. At her next question he began to formulate an apology.
“You know what I’ve always wondered?” she asked.
“What’s that?”
“If anyone else has ever found our cave.” With a laugh she was out the door and running before he could grab his jacket.
He chuckled, his spirits lifting as he watched her heading down the trail. Alex was right, the girl really could move like lightning. He slipped into his jacket and set off after her.
“I’m still faster than you,” she teased. She was waiting for him by the giant rock that they’d always used to mark the place where they descended to the ledge below. It was steep, but they both remembered the route to get down and several minutes later they were on the ledge and entering the cave.
Aubrey removed her phone from her pocket, tapped on the screen and pointed it up. “Look, it’s still there.”
Eli had surprised her once by bringing a paint pen and writing Knight loves Mermaid on a large, flat piece of rock that made up a portion of one of the cave walls. It was the first time he’d told her he loved her.
He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around her. He nuzzled the side of her head, burying his face in her hair. She pivoted in his arms so that she was facing him and put her phone back into her pocket. She slipped her arms around him, one hand cupping the back of his neck.
He took a few seconds to enjoy the feel of her hand on his skin. They were close enough to the entrance that light still made its way inside. He could see that her lips were parted slightly, playing with a smile. Her green eyes glowed with laughter, joy and affection that he hoped he wasn’t imagining. She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and by far the best person he’d ever known.
“You know what?” he found himself asking.
“What?”
“It’s still true,” he whispered just before his mouth covered hers. “I’ve always loved you, Aubrey. There’s never been anyone else. There could never be anyone else.”
* * *
AUBREY FELT LIKE her heart might explode, and not just because Eli was kissing her. Yes, she wanted that, and him, but it was the way his touch was combining with the movie reel of emotions now flickering through her brain—desire, affection, relief, love, fear, anxiety... They all expanded inside her, leaving her chest tight and aching.
She didn’t want this moment to end even as she wished it wasn’t happening. Because rising to the top of her consciousness was the fact that he’d told her this twelve years ago. He’d told her he loved her and she’d believed it then, too. And she’d loved him. They’d loved each other. But it hadn’t been enough. Or maybe he’d loved her too much, she realized now. So much that he felt like he had to protect her. He’d always tried so hard to protect her. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing, though. Sometimes. And he did seem to realize now that breaking up with her, while noble and selfless in a way, hadn’t been the solution.
The bottom line was that he was trying. She wanted to try, too.
She was in love with him, too, she knew that. She always had been. She could only hope that, this time, their love would be enough.
* * *
“I FEEL LIKE a jerk,” Eli said to Gale the next morning. He stood up from where he’d been sitting at the dining room table in their rented house. “Am I a terrible friend for even suspecting Alex could be involved?” Stretching his arms over his head, he let out a groan. “I can’t believe I’m already stiff from that workout.” He and Aubrey had gone to the gym that morning.
“Well, yoga isn’t normally a part of your workout plan.” Gale chuckled. “Next thing you know you’ll be wearing tights and taking spin classes. And, no, you’re not. I suspected him, too.”
Alex’s company was using the wood from Coastal Wood Sources, all right. They were using it for projects in home construction for a charity organization. One of Alex’s many worthy causes was building homes for needy families.
“We’ve been to his warehouse, his maintenance shop, his office and four building sites so far. Where else can we look?”
Gale ran a pen down the list of locations they’d compiled. They’d visited each one, searching for crates or evidence that someone in Alex’s organization was constructing th
em.
“The problem,” he added, “is that it wouldn’t take much space to make crates. A person could do it in their garage. They could be sneaking pieces home and making them.”
“Exactly,” Eli agreed, exhaling a frustrated sigh. “We need...something.”
“Nothing else from the West kid?”
“Nope, not yet. Aubrey has another swim lesson with Danny tomorrow. I’ll see her tomorrow night, so if something comes up, hopefully I’ll hear about it. And then she’s back on duty for a day.”
Gale eyed him, a half grin curling his lips. “You two have really been spending some quality time together, huh?”
“We have,” Eli answered enigmatically.
They’d managed to see each other every day for the last four days, including the day he’d taken her to the cave. As bad as he felt about the disqualification, Aubrey’s loss had been his gain. Now that she didn’t have quite as much pressure from the Christmas contest weighing down on her, he’d been able to capitalize on her free time. Of course, she was still Aubrey, which meant she was virtually unable to sit still for longer than it took to eat a meal.
“What’s the status with you two?”
He paused, not yet sure how to answer the question. Things were going incredibly well. They’d taken a hike along the beach, gone rock climbing at an indoor wall, and driven down the coast looking at Christmas lights. Tonight they were having dinner at Nina’s.
“You know, your lack of information in this regard tells its own story.”
“Oh, yeah? So does that bag over there stuffed with tennis balls and dog toys.” Eli pointed across the room to where a shopping bag from the local pet store Sandy Paws was sitting.
“Those are for Marion. You know how much I love dogs. Border collies are a very energetic and playful breed. They need a lot of stimulation.”
“All right. I’ll buy that. But what about that book on the coffee table on how to raise free-range chickens? Is that for Marion, too?”
Gale’s lips twitched as he tried not to smile. “Hey, I’m going out there tonight, too. I’ll have you know that Gwyneth Kohen would be appalled if her son arrived at a dinner party without a gift for the hostess.”
