by Jaci Wheeler
“Great, just what I need. She finally makes friends and now you have me worried about the boys already!”
“Calm down, she will be fine. You have plenty of time before the boys start sniffing around, as you put it.”
“How old were you when the boys started coming around?”
“Honestly? Never. I had a lot of guy friends, but I never dated or anything. I don’t think many boys were ever interested in me.” He is giving me the weirdest look right now and I can’t help but chuckle. “What?”
He sits there staring at me like I grew another head. “Roz, you’ve got to be kidding me. Do you really have no clue how attractive you are? We can’t walk two feet without every man in the vicinity checking you out.”
I’m sure he isn’t being serious; there’s no way I wouldn’t have noticed that. “Oh stop it, Dex, I know what I look like. I’m not as pretty as Aspen or Natasha, but I’m okay with that. I like who I am.”
“Rosaline, seriously, you have so much more beauty than they do. Yes, they are beautiful, but how long do you think it takes them to look that way? Aspen takes at least two hours to get ready every day; at least she did back when we were friends. She puts more layers on her face than I ever understood, and she curls and styles and fluffs her hair. You are literally the most natural beauty I’ve ever met. The guys at the Ministry have been going crazy half the time. You are all they ever talk about, wanting to know if you are single, putting bets on who can take you out first. This can’t be a new development for you. I’m sure you’ve had guys ask you out.”
“Nope, it’s always been just me and Wesley.”
“Huh, how weird.”
This is such a strange conversation and it makes me feel more awkward by the minute. While it’s nice to hear people find me attractive, it’s also weird to wonder which guys are talking about me.
“Let’s go see what everyone is up to, shall we?”
Dex can tell I am uncomfortable and takes the cue to follow me to the kitchen.
CHAPTER FOUR
I have a ton of work to keep me busy today, but I also need to go out and see Malik. I haven’t had much time to talk to him lately and I am really counting on his help to make this thing happen. Though I could send Dex or even Masters, I think I need to be the one to go and see where the former Outcasts stand on everything. I do as much as I can and go catch a train out to the now free territory. We had the electrified fence turned off and the gate is now unlocked and not monitored, so I hope the people feel better about that and not less secure. I never really thought about how they would feel about the changes.
When I got there it felt weird not to see it being manned by the guards. I went through the gate looking for Malik and walked right into Zara.
“Zara! How have you been? It’s been much too long.”
She eyes me warily for a moment, which kind of puts me on edge.
“Roz, it’s good to see you too. What brings you here?” The suspicion in her eyes knocks me off guard.
“I came to talk to Malik and see how everyone is now the ban is lifted.”
“Ah, yes, the ban. Malik has informed us of all the changes that will occur soon. He is at his house now doing some planning. You can find him there. I really need to get going.” She walks away.
I am stunned. I can’t for the life of me figure out why she’s acting so cold; if I’m not mistaken, there was also a hint of resentment in her demeanor.
I go to Malik’s dwelling and knock on the door. After a moment he opens it, looking the most tired I’ve ever seen him.
“Hi, Malik. Is everything okay?”
He smiles softly and opens the door wide. “Rosaline, what a pleasure. Please come in and have a seat.”
I sit down next to a desk where he has obviously been working. He looks exhausted.
“Malik, is everything all right here? I’m starting to get worried. Zara didn’t seem herself and you look so worn out. What’s going on?”
He smiles sadly and sighs. “Things have been a little shaken up around here since the ban was lifted.”
“I’m so confused. Did the people not want it lifted? I thought lifting it would be a good thing. Didn’t we talk about that?”
I’m so confused because in my mind, Malik has been helping me fight the Council and lift the ban. If that isn’t what the people want, why would he help me?
“No, Roz, it’s not that. All of us are here for our own reasons but we all have something in common. Though we all wanted to leave the Ministry for different reasons, in a way we really are outcasts. We either don’t fit the mold, or we have been burned by the rules and regulations enforced by the Ministry. Some people, such as Zara, are haunted by memories of the Ministry or the Zones. The ban really wasn’t needed because nobody wanted to leave. We got used to the gate and the guards.”
“Malik, I’m totally lost. If you didn’t want the ban lifted why didn’t you say something? I thought I was doing you all a favor.”
“Calm down, Roz. You did. It’s not that we didn’t want it lifted. There are many benefits that come along with the lifted ban. The access to medical care is the biggest, but also seeing family members who are still in the Zones, and not having to feel like a caged animal. However, with freedom there is always a price. The price we have to pay is a bit steep for some people.”
I don’t understand what price he is talking about. As far as I know nothing has changed except them being free to come and go as they please.
“What price do they have to pay?”
“We aren’t a group of outcasts as the Council may see us. We are a family, all of us. We are a tight knit community and we are safe and protected because of it. By lifting the ban we now have some new freedoms, but our home, our community, the security we have worked so hard to build, is now being threatened by opening it up to all. By making us a Free Zone you are exposing us and making us vulnerable. Our children won’t be as safe to run free, because we don’t know if we can trust new people or not. I’m not saying making it free is wrong, but you’ve got to see it from their point of view, Roz. You might be giving the people in the Zones more freedom, but in doing so you are taking away some of ours,” he said, looking at me sadly.
It’s like I have been punched in the stomach. He’s right. I never even thought for a minute how it would negatively affect these people. I thought only of the benefits of it for the people in the Zone. I put my head in my hands, trying to fight back the tears that are threatening. All I want is to make everyone happy, keep everyone safe, and I’m finding it impossible. You can’t please everyone, because as soon as you make something better for one group another suffers.
“How?” I rasp out. I look up into Malik’s eyes with tears in my own. “How am I supposed to make everyone happy, Malik? I only want to bring unity. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for this country…unity, peace, safety. How can I bring these things?”
“Sweet child, if anyone had that answer the world wouldn’t be where it is today. There isn’t a good leader alive today who wakes up and thinks, ‘How can I bring misery and discord to my country today?’ The presidents before you, even the ones when the States were intact, weren’t trying to ruin the country. Things like greed, power, dishonesty, corruption…those can leak in and influence the greatest of men and ruin a country. Those things are present because of human nature, Roz. You can’t change human nature, and until you can, there is no perfect solution. You do what you think is the best for the masses. Someone will always foil your plan. The only thing you can do is align yourself with what is right.”
“What do you think is the best way to proceed, Malik? Do you think I should open up the Free Zone to everyone, or do you think it will cause more discord?”
He sighs. “Roz, it doesn’t matter what I think. I’ve been sitting here trying to come up with the best plan, but someone always loses in some way. I don’t want to see our gates open and have the masses descend upon us and change our way of life. I also don’t wan
t to be responsible for keeping the people in the dark. You need to contemplate the best plan of action. Don’t be in such a hurry to make a change, Roz. With haste comes mistakes. Think it over, toss around ideas. I’ll be there to help with anything you need and I will try my best.”
“Thank you Malik, that means so much to me. If it were up to you though, would you find a way to keep this place from being invaded by others?” I ask and he nods.
“And you also think others have a right to be free from the Ministry?” He nods again.
“Good. I’m glad there’s an easy solution to this mess,” I say sarcastically.
He chuckles. “You have drive, girl, and compassion, with a strong dose of empathy. You will make this work. Do you still want me to find and train some reps to go to the Zones?”
“Yes, if you can. Please assure the people for me that nothing has been decided yet. I’m going find a way to make this work.”
“Of that I have no doubt, little one. You once told me your father is fond of quotes. I have a rather fitting one for you,” Malik says with a wide smile that makes him look less stressed and exhausted and more like himself.
“I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: Try to please everybody.”
“Wow, that’s fitting!” I exclaim. “And completely frustrating! Who said that?”
“A smart man by the name of Herbert B. Swope. He was long before your time. Think on it, Roz. You’ll come up with something.”
I say good-bye, leave the compound, and make my way back to the Ministry. Once there, I call Karl, who is Dex’s personal assistant, and ask him if Dex was free to meet with me at some point today. It seems weird calling his assistant to make time for us to talk when we live together and I can easily ask him at home. However, since he’s moved in, I’ve made it a point to try and separate work and home as much as possible. Karl calls me right back and says Dex can see me in half an hour in his office.
After squaring away a few things with Judy, I head to his office. The Council members’ offices are on the same floor as their meeting room. I am the only one besides the members and their assistants who even have access to the floor. Since I’ve never been to Dex’s office, I ask Aspen which one is his. I walk in and see who I assume to be Karl sitting at his desk in the front office. He’s younger, most likely around Aspen’s age, and a good looking, well-dressed guy. He reminds me of a younger version of Samuel. He has a flirty, easygoing way about him.
“Well if it isn’t the president herself in flesh and blood. You are even better looking than I thought you’d be,” he teases me. “Dexter is ready for you so go ahead on back.”
I’d never admit it but I am secretly happy Dex doesn’t have a cute young girl working for him. “Thanks, Karl, it’s nice to meet you.” I knock on Dex’s door and walk in.
He looks up from his desk with a smile on his rugged face. It doesn’t matter how many times I see his scarred, beautiful face…it gets me every time.
“Hi, come on in please. Is everything okay?”
“I’m not sure. I’m a bit frustrated, and before meeting with the whole Council I wanted to run some things by you first if you don’t mind.”
“Of course.”
“I just came back from the OC and I’m pretty confused. I thought the people wanted this, and I thought Malik wanted this. However, it turns out they are resentful that I opened their gates. I thought this is what we worked so hard for, though after I had a chance to talk to Malik and hear their side of things I’m at a loss as to what to do.”
Dex frowns. “Roz, I don’t know what you were expecting. Of course they are upset—this is their home, their way of life. Everything they worked so hard for is about to change. Having the ban lifted is a huge plus in some ways, but opening the gates and allowing anyone who wants to come in—that’s terrifying for them.”
“Why are you only telling me about this now?” I ask, frustration seeping into my voice.
“Tell you what exactly? Even if I had told you, it’s not like you would be able to understand how they feel. Look at your life, Rosaline, really look at it. You come from an amazing home, you have two parents who love you and have only ever treated you right, and the whole country puts you on a pedestal. How are you supposed to understand them when all they’ve ever known is pain?”
His statement cuts like a knife.
“I can’t believe you of all people can say that to me, Dexter. I thought you knew me better than that. Yes, I did come from an amazing home. I have wonderful parents who love me unconditionally, I have friends and a good job, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know pain. This last year I felt more pain than I ever thought possible. I went into prisons and saw the horrible living conditions, I had to watch a man slowing dying from pneumonia and lack of care, all because he was protecting his daughter, and it hurt me so bad because there was nothing I could do to help him.”
“I felt pain so deep I thought I would bleed when a little boy told me he was going to die and there was nothing anyone could do to save him. I felt like my heart was torn out when I saw his mother try to hide her own grief and share in his joy of seeing a monkey for the first time and knowing it would also be his last.”
“I have to remember to breathe when I look at Grace’s sweet face and see all the hurt hiding just beneath the surface. To know all the things that have happened to you, all the ways you’ve been mistreated and abused and not being able to take any of them away is a pain I can’t even describe.”
“So no, Dexter, while maybe I haven’t had to go through physical pain, the pain I feel from others is certainly real, and I go through it every day with the weight of a country on my shoulders, knowing all it takes is the slightest wrong move and it will come crashing down. That is a pain nobody bears but me. I have pain, and I also have responsibility nobody else has. Those people can hide behind their anger and blame the Ministry. The Council conveniently hides behind the cloak of anonymity and blames the uprising. Who can I blame, Dex? Where do I hide? I’m the only one hanging on the line. I’m the one the people look to for help, or to blame for wrong decisions. Not you, not the Council, me. I might not have any physical pain but I understand the concept perfectly well.”
I have tears rolling down my cheeks now, but I’m too angry to care. Dex comes around his desk and kneels in front of me. He wipes my tears away with his thumb.
“You’re right, Roz, I’m so sorry. I’m such a fool, a total and utter fool. You feel more for people than anyone I’ve ever met, and you also understand the responsibility placed on your shoulders and the burden that comes with that. I don’t know what I was thinking to question that. I’m sorry.”
He is completely sincere and I know that. All the fight and anger drains out of me, leaving me with only exhaustion and the weight of the world.
“I don’t know what to do, Dex,” I whisper. “I can’t make everyone happy. The only thing I can think of to do is going to piss the Council off, and they will never approve of it.”
He lifts my face until my eyes are level with his. “You let me deal with the Council okay? Tell me what your idea is.”
“I’m not sure of the inner workings yet, but the only thing I can think of is to make a separate compound in each Zone. It’s going to take so much more manpower and resources this way, but I can’t bring people into their compound, Dex, not after realizing what it would do to them. The Council is never going to pass opening a separate compound in each Zone either, though.”
He contemplates this for a moment. “Maybe not, but they might pass opening one in each region. It makes sense to have more than one anyway; it keeps the feeling of safety and security. Not to mention by having them in different regions, they can take advantage of resources better this way. If they want they can trade with the other compounds for different commodities. I think it could work, Roz.”
I look at him now with hope in my eyes.
“It may not be the perfec
t answer, and the Council isn’t going to be thrilled, but I’ll take care of them, and I do think it’s the best option so far.”
“Thank you, Dex, really, I appreciate it. I’m sorry for going off on you. I’m worried the pressure is getting to me.”
He looks at me with such love and understanding I feel like I’m going to dissolve into tears again.
“You have every right, and my permission to go off on me anytime it is deserved. Sometimes I think we forget you aren’t a superhero, you only happen to act like one most of the time, is all.” He runs his hand through my hair.
“You think this is the right thing to do?”
“I do.”
I can tell he wants to kiss me but I promised myself not to go there, so I hug him. He tells me he will talk to the Council and let me know by tomorrow so I will have a little time to prepare for my speech with the head of the departments.
That night after dinner and after we get Grace to bed, Dex asks me to meet him in my office. I can tell he wants to talk about the Council. I go in and shut the door behind me.
“What did they say?”
He sighs and rubs a hand over his face. “Well you were right, they didn’t like it. But they also are smart enough to realize they don’t have any better options.”
“They want to make a compound in each region then?”
“Yes, that’s what we decided. Clarisse wanted to drop the matter entirely, but luckily once it’s been passed they can’t take it back. Samuel was frustrated this was an oversight, though agreed it’s the only way to move forward. I think it’s going to be a lot of work to build and make so many compounds. However, if it is worth it to the people to gain distance from the Ministry, they will build it and make it work. If they don’t want to, it’s even easier, but you are giving them a choice. I think all people really want is a choice.”
