by Jaci Wheeler
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I wake up the next morning with Molly sitting on my bed smiling down at me. She’s brought chocolate milk and a muffin so I can’t be too upset.
“Okay, spill. What happened last night? It got a little tense there for a while and then Dex left and didn’t come back."
I groan into my pillow. “Oh you know Dexter; he was being his usual lovely self,” I say sarcastically. I sit up and down my glass of milk. It doesn’t have the same effect it used to; it tastes much too sweet this morning. Great, maybe this is a sign I’m maturing; I’m finally too old for chocolate milk. I throw my head back on my pillow and sigh.
Molly mistakes it for being upset over Dexter. “You’ve got to give me more than that. What happened?”
“Seriously, Mol, not much. I was dancing with Jeff Adams.”
“Who is seriously hot.”
I laugh because she’s absolutely right. “Anyway, I danced with the seriously hot Jeff Adams a few times too many for Dexter’s liking and he got all possessive about it, that’s all. I might have been a little more harsh than I intended and he got upset and left. Then Jeff comes over and decides to tell me he’s interested and won’t make a move until I’m ready, he just wants me to know. It was actually sweet. Now I’m uncomfortable with the whole situation,” I say with that knot in my stomach again.
“So let me get this straight. You have two guys fighting over you? Why aren’t you excited about this?”
I can see why she isn’t getting it. Two guys fighting over her is Molly’s perfect scenario. “Yes, Molly, and I have no time for distractions.”
“I’d trade problems with you in a heartbeat,” she says with a smirk and I smile at her.
“Well if you have to pick one…I know you aren’t interested right now, but let’s say you’ve saved the world and you have nothing but time on your super hero hands…who would it be?”
I laugh at her. “Would I have a cape?”
“Of course you would! It would be uber fashionable and Aspen would have them made in bulk and color coded for seasons.”
This makes me crack up, laughing over the absurdity of it all. “On paper, Jeff would be the perfect boyfriend. He is completely genuine, super sweet, always funny, and fun to be around. His moods are even and he doesn’t pressure me or try to intimidate me.”
“And Dex?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Dex is a tortured soul, some partly deserved, though some partly self-inflicted. He is constantly moody, overly harsh, and his expectations are much too high. With him it’s like a rollercoaster ride every day, and you never know if it’s going to be a high or a low. One minute he’s declaring love and admiration and the next he’s pushing you away because he doesn’t deserve you. He makes me so mad sometimes I swear I don’t know if I want to kiss his face or punch it.”
Molly gives me a knowing look. “Yet despite Mr. Perfect, you would pick Mr. Has Major Problems every time wouldn’t you?”
I throw my hand over my face. “Every time,” I whisper. “What does that say about me? I would throw away the perfect guy for someone who might never be capable of true love.”
“I don’t know about that. I don’t think that’s the way true love is. Perfect, I mean. I think love, like people, is flawed.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, sitting up. Molly is rarely this serious, so when she is, you listen.
“Well, how boring is perfection? I mean, you can spend the rest of your life with someone who adores you, but never really makes you feel. You like Jeff right? But with Dex you never stop feeling. You feel angry, frustrated, giddy, happy, and flustered. You would have a bumpy ride, sure, but to me that’s what love is. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life bored. I want to fight with someone, and know he is going to love me anyway. I want someone who is going to challenge me and make me a better person, someone who is going to take care of me when I’m sick and not throw my mistakes back in my face. Not love me despite my flaws, but love me for them. Love isn’t perfect, Roz; it’s messy and raw and sometimes just plain doesn’t make sense.”
She kisses my forehead and leaves the room with me staring wide eyed after her. When did my silly roommate become a poet?
We spend the rest of the day hanging out with everyone. It’s so much fun to play games, relax, and not think about anything heavy. I open up to my parents once we’re alone, explaining everything going on, about the announcement to the people, and the announcement to the Ministry the next day. They both look a little uneasy but listen intently, assuring me I am doing the right thing and giving people a choice on how they live is always the right answer. They hug and kiss me and we all cry a little, then they leave for home.
The next morning I wake up with butterflies in my stomach. Today is the day we’re going to tell the Ministry. Dex agrees to make the announcement with me, hoping to help ease everyone’s concerns. After the trial run telling the department heads, they seem to really trust Dex. What better way to put the people of the Ministry at ease than to have the president and a Council member present? I get to my office early to try and get all my thoughts and notes together. Molly made a diagram for me of the Zones and the breakoffs, showing where the compounds will go. When I check my messages I find one from my dad. I open it eagerly, wondering what inspirational quote it will contain to help me through today. I’m not disappointed.
Good morning sugar bean!
I know you are nervous but calm down, take a deep breath, you will be fine! Your mother and I love you and couldn’t be more proud of the young woman you have become!
‘One needs to be slow to form convictions, but once they are formed they must be defended against the heaviest of odds.’
–Gandhi
Love you,
Dad
I smile. Dad seems to be favoring Gandhi lately. I do love the quote and I believe in making the nation united once again, but I don’t believe deception is the way to true unity. I will fight for this. I only hope the people agree with my convictions.
I’m finishing up my messages when Dex walks in. He did a pretty good job of avoiding me all weekend so this is bound to be awkward.
“Hey, you ready for this?” he asks, as though nothing happened.
“I doubt I’ll ever be ready, but I’m ready for it to be over with.”
He gives me a small, guarded smile. “Look, Roz, about the party…I’m sorry for getting upset at you. I know I had no right to be jealous.”
I study him for a moment. He appears to be sincere, and I can tell he is upset with himself, but there is still some underlying anger, most likely directed at me.
“It’s okay, Dex. I wasn’t mad that you were jealous; it happens. You can’t go around accusing people and taking your jealousy out on anyone though, okay?”
He nods. “Are we okay then?”
I smile and give him a hug.
A few minutes later Masters comes in. “All right people; let’s get this show on the road. I came to brief you before we go in. Are you ready?”
“Brief away,” I say.
Masters gives me his “I’m not amused” look but doesn’t skip a beat. “I have the security all set up in case something happens. We think it highly unlikely, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared. I’ll be in the control room keeping a close eye on all the monitors. I have several of my men in plain clothes out in the audience, as well as guarding all exits. Green is going to be stage right keeping an eye out up top. Adams has volunteered to be your personal security so he will be on the platform with you.”
Dex scoffs. “I bet he did.”
Masters gives him a pointed look. “Is there a problem?”
“No problems at all, please continue,” I say, shooting Dex a warning look.
“As soon as you are done speaking,” Masters continues, “I want you to leave the stage instantly. Green will clear a path and Adams will be with you and Dex the whole time until he brings you directly to your office. Like I said before, we don�
�t think anything is going to happen, but we aren’t going to tempt fate either.”
“What about questions?”
“Questions will not be covered by you. We already decided it would be best for department heads to field questions. I’ve read over your speech thoroughly. It doesn’t need to be followed with a Q and A. This way you say exactly what needs to be said, Dex will fill in any holes, then you thank them, assure them everything is under control, and get the heck out of there. My guys will take care of crowd control and getting everyone back to where they need to be.”
“That sounds efficient, Masters. Thank you.”
“Dex, can you give us a moment please?”
Dex nods and walks out, and I look at Masters.
“Are you okay?” His authoritative expression from before is replaced by concern.
“I’m fine, but I’m worried people aren’t going to take me seriously and we’re going to have a battle on our hands.”
“Look at me, Roz. You may be only a teenager, and I forget that more often than not, but you have wisdom about you that makes it easy to think you are in your thirties…until you go and do something like throw a ridiculous dance party,” he says with mock seriousness that makes me laugh. “Let that wisdom speak to the people, and let your youth give you the courage and drive to take on such an undertaking.”
I give him a hug and whisper “Thank you” in his ear.
“Now get your game face on; it’s time to go.” And just like that, big bad security Masters is back.
When he opens the door, Adams is waiting for us and a big smile spreads across his face. Of course Dex scowls, then instantly tries to mask his expression. I inwardly roll my eyes and greet him with a smile. Adams and Green lead us to the auditorium, which is packed full. I take a deep breath and Dex grabs my hand, squeezing it for reassurance. Once everyone is in place, Dex and I take our spots at the podium and wait for Green’s cue. When he gives it I step up to the mic.
“Good morning, everyone. I appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to meet with me. What I am about to tell you is considered privileged information, and as such I ask you to keep it under wraps until we go public. I trust this won’t be a problem?” Several heads nod. “Good. I want to talk to you first before I go public because I think you have the right to know ahead of time the actions I am taking to make United America the best country it can be. I am proud to be the leader of this country, and I’m very blessed to have each one of you working with me to help the cause.”
I get several smiles.
“I truly believe in order to move forward, we must continue to make changes that better the people and our system. After being in office for a year, I have discovered a few things about the way our country is run that need to change. Of course, anytime you make a drastic change people are going to worry and be unsure. This is normal and I completely understand you will have concerns. I’m asking you to put your trust in me right now, even though you might not agree with what I’m about to tell you. I’m asking you to keep an open mind anyway.”
The fear and worry radiating off of people is palpable. I smile widely, mustering up as much encouragement as I can.
“After working here for a while and learning all the ins and outs, I will be honest with you when I say I wasn’t comfortable with the monitoring system we have in place. After talking with the Council, the head of Career Development, and the head of Security, we think taking a new approach would be best. I’d like to inform people of the monitoring process in all of the Zones.”
“Many of you who work here understand why we monitor and exactly how much, but the people in the Zones—and I was one of them up until last year—have no clue to what extent. I strive to be as upfront and honest as I can, and this is something on which I will not bend. I believe people have every right to know how much they are being watched, and yes—I do believe in our system and the need for it. However, I also think secrecy is never a way to prosper a country.”
People are reacting better than I expected; then again, most of them know about the monitoring.
“With that being said I would like to—”
“President Thatcher—this country has been running on the same set of rules for a hundred years. Who do you think you are to come in and change that overnight?” a man’s voice shouts out. I can’t see where it comes from or to whom the voice belongs.
I am about to respond when Dex steps forward.
“The President won’t be taking any questions at this time. Please let her finish, then we will make sure everyone has their questions answered later,” he says authoritatively.
There are some gasps and murmurs and the crowd starts to part. Dex yells at Adams to cover me. I’m grabbed from behind and I still don’t understand what the problem is. Dex goes stiff and rigid, and then I hear someone clapping.
“Bravo, son.” That’s when it hits me—the voice belongs to former president Conner Vaughn.
“Dad, you need to leave. You aren’t supposed to be here. We thought you left the country. You need to go.”
Dex sounds strong but I can hear the slight waver in his voice. It isn’t fair for Vaughn to put him through anything else. I break free from Adams and go stand by Dex to show him I am with him in this. Vaughn starts ranting about how I ruined his life and now I turned his son against him. Before I know what is happening, he raises a gun. It all happens so fast but it also seems like everything freezes at the same time. The next thing I know there is a loud sound and I am on the floor. My head hits so hard everything goes black for a moment, then I feel horrible pain all over my body. I’m not sure where it is coming from or why; the only thing I can think of is that I have been shot. I feel the blood, sticky and pooling on the floor underneath me. I try to move, to scream, anything, but it feels as though I am crushed and can’t get a deep breath. That’s when I realize someone is laying on top me. I try to push him off of me but can’t; he’s too heavy.
“Green?” I whisper in his ear.
Dex rolls him off me and Adams is frantically checking me out, trying to find where I was shot. It’s not my blood. I look down at Green, who isn’t moving. I shove Adams off me and go to Green, running my hands down his body when I find the bullet hole, the wound gushing blood.
I scream over and over for someone to get help, then Green opens his glassy eyes and looks right into mine.
“Roz, you okay?” He coughs, barely able to get a breath, blood spurting out of his mouth and the hole in his chest. This can’t be good.
“Shhhh, I’m fine, Sebastian. You rest, and everything is going to be fine. You saved my life.” I choke that last part out. This should be me laying on the floor in a pool of blood, not my friend.
“It’s an…honor…to help a beautiful…lady.” He can hardly talk and his body is starting to shake. I can tell he is losing too much blood and that he is shivering. I take off my jacket and lay it over him, then rip off my shirt and try to stop the blood. There’s so much, it’s soaked within seconds. I’m screaming at someone, anyone to give me clothes. Someone hands me a few jackets and I place them on him, but it’s not helping.
“Ssssoooo cccold…”
“I know, Sebastian, I’m going to warm you up, okay? We are going to stop the bleeding and I’m going to get you warm.”
I’m trying too hard to keep my voice light, although I know nothing can help him now. We aren’t trained to deal with bullet wounds here. Nobody has even seen a gun in the Zones, much less knows how to treat the aftermath. I know body heat is the best way to warm someone so my goal now is to try to make him as warm as I can. I half lay on top of Sebastian skin to skin, and place the jackets on his shoulders and legs.
“How’s that? Better? I’m going to keep you warm, okay?”
A small smile plays across his pale lips. “I knnnnew yyyou cccouldn’t resist me for llllong.” A joke? He’s lying here in a puddle of blood and he’s making a joke? If he wants to make this light I am going to try my best to
follow along.
“Some guys will do anything to get a lady undressed, won’t they?” I try to sound light but I start to cry; I can’t hold the tears back.
“Shhh…” Now he’s consoling me.
“We fiiiight, Roz, We fiii—”
“We fight,” I say for him.
He’s fading fast and his eyes drift shut.
“Open your eyes, Sebastian. Look at me! We fight, we don’t give up. I know you’re cold but you open those beautiful eyes and you look at me you hear? Look at me!”
I’m yelling at him now. He slowly opens his eyes and looks right at me. The shaking is getting much worse and the blood is pouring at a rapid pace from his mouth as well as the hole in his chest. I play with his hair with one hand, rubbing the other up and down his arm.
“You told me you don’t know how to love, that it isn’t for you, but you were so wrong! You do know how, Sebastian. I love you too, do you hear me? You are much loved.” His eyes slowly lift to mine again and he smiles slightly once more, then starts choking on his blood. I roll his head to the side, trying to clear his mouth so he can breathe, when I feel it…all the breath leaving his body. He’s gone, he died…for me. I can’t move, can’t breathe. I feel someone tugging on my arm and calling my name but nothing matters. My friend just died, because of me. I literally have his blood on my hands.
Someone picks me up and carries me away. I don’t even care who it is. I can’t stop sobbing, can’t catch my breath, and the pain in my head is so sharp. The blackness starts to come and I allow it to overtake me. Blackness, numbness, that’s all I want right now.
***
When I wake up and open my eyes I immediately regret it. The throbbing in my head returns and a bright light stabs my eyes. I put a hand over my eyes and groan. I hear someone moving beside me and the light is dimmed, thank God. I feel someone rubbing my hair and whoever closed the blinds comes back over to my other side.
“There, there honey. It’s all right. You’re going to have a pretty bad headache but you’re going to be fine.”
