by Chloe Cole
She closed her eyes as she recalled how hard it had been to leave. Following their alpha’s misguided example, her pack had been doing things that had not sat right with her for a long time. Hunting humans, encroaching on farmlands that resulted in the killing of timber wolves in the area. The Big Sky clan was getting more and more bloodthirsty and less and less careful.
When her alpha had voted to murder a woman in cold blood, it had been the catalyst she needed to break away from them. Her former pack mates had been forbidden from contacting her since she left, and she missed some of them, but worse was the tension that night had created between the area packs. Alliances were made, gauntlets thrown…there was a storm brewing and, in spite of a quiet winter, it was only a matter of time before things imploded in the were community in a big, bloody way.
And still? She was happier than she’d ever been. She felt at home with her new pack in a way that she never had with the old. And, even in the short time they had been together, the friendships she’d made with all her new pack mates, especially Amalie—the very woman her former pack had voted to kill--Maggie, and Billy, had progressed to the point that they felt like family. Not to mention that her relationship with their alpha, Liam, was one of mutual respect and harmony. He was strong but approachable, firm but fair. Everything one could want in a leader.
Then there was Jax.
She thought again about that fateful night, when everything had changed for her. She’d walked into the beautiful great room of the Pray house with her pack, tuning out the low buzz of conversation around her as she scanned the room. She stopped as her gaze was drawn to a man she didn’t recognize. That had seemed strange because, despite being in different packs, everybody knew everybody to one degree or another. He looked haunted, his dark eyes staring into hers but not really seeing her.
Then she knew: Jax. Before Sara had died, his power had been almost palpable. She had seen them all together two summers before at a gathering by the lake. They were a beautiful family. Sara had been blessed with a cascade of corn silk hair and eyes the color of pansies in the spring time. Her temperament was as sweet as her face, and Chandra had looked on as they played by the water with Ryan. She remembered thinking how lucky they were and made a secret promise to herself she would not settle for less than that when she finally chose a mate and had a family of her own.
Less than a year later, Sara was dead. Shot to death by a man who some of the area werewolves claimed was just a regular Montana hunter who had gotten lucky. Chandra doubted that. It took a little more than luck to kill a full-grown werewolf. And a game hunter would’ve assumed that a single, well-placed bullet would have killed a regular wolf Sara’s size. Maybe two. By the time the pack reached her, she’d been shot eighteen times. To Chandra’s mind, the only reason he would have kept reloading and shooting, ruining the prized, lily-white pelt in the process was if he knew one bullet wasn’t going to cut it.
No, Chandra, along with most of the wolves of Pray, felt like this man knew what he was doing. That he had somehow figured out, or at least had a hunch, that Sara was a werewolf.
While this terrible, life-changing tragedy played out, Jax had been out of town. He had known instantly due to his bond with his mate that she was no longer alive and had rushed back. Ryan had been there with Sara and, at his mother’s desperate urgings, had managed to get away when the shooting began. But in the end, Jax’s wife was dead, and she still hadn’t been avenged.
“I failed my mate,” he’d said to Chandra earlier.
She shook her head briskly to ward off the ghosts of the past, focusing once again on the present.
And presently, Jax was probably still tangled beneath the sheets with that woman.
Chandra swung her legs over the side of the bed and hoisted her still weary body up. She brushed her teeth and took a few angry swipes at her hair with a comb before pulling it into a loose knot on top of her head. Maybe a run would clear her head. She quickly changed into workout gear and headed for the stairs, but a woman’s tinny voice sounded from behind her, assaulting her eardrums and stalling her in her tracks.
“Hey, there, Red, whatcha doing?”
Chandra sucked in a breath and bit her lip hard. She so didn’t need this shit right now.
“Hello there,” she said, pasting on a smile on before turning to face a disheveled Amber. “Aren’t you looking lovely this morning?” She attempted to cut their interaction short by turning back toward the stairs.
“Thanks.” Amber didn’t cooperate and stepped back into view. “Jax just buzzed my cab through the gates so I’m heading out.” She slid her arms into the coat that she’d been holding and hoisted her purse back onto her shoulder. “He was exhausted so he went back to bed.”
Fan-fucking-tastic.
“Nice place you have here,” she drawled, glancing around at the art decorating the hallway walls with an appreciative nod. “Kinda weird all of you living together though. I mean, the house is big enough and all, and I know Jax said the bunch of you are partners and run the business out of the house and whatnot, but still…kinda weird having seven roommates, isn’t it?” Amber’s gaze stayed on Chandra’s face longer than was comfortable.
Spidey senses tingling, she manufactured a laugh and replied, “Yeah, more than a little weird. But our boss, Liam, is what you might call eccentric. He feels like the partners that play together will stay together. And—” she lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, glancing around as if to make sure no one was listening “—he’s a slave driver to boot. He loves to call meetings on a Saturday afternoon or some nonsense just to make sure we’re all eating, sleeping and breathing real estate, you know?”
A horn blared, and Chandra said a little prayer of thanks to the cab company for their impeccable timing.
“Well, it was nice talking to you.” With that and a breezy wave, she turned on the balls of her feet and jogged lightly down the stairs, replaying their conversation over in her head. She hoped she’d added enough detail to make their odd living arrangement plausible, but not too much that it had sounded forced. Amber didn’t exactly seem like the brightest star in the sky, but she might be ambitious and that could be just as dangerous.
Once Chandra was alone in the kitchen, she made for the window and watched Amber get into the taxi with a sigh of relief.
This was why they didn’t bring humans home to play with.
It wasn’t expressly forbidden, but it was definitely discouraged. Her pack did business with humans every day, and many of them had human friends or acquaintances. But they didn’t let them get too close, or they invariably started asking tough questions like Amber had done.
If he had no plans to hook up with her again, and everyone was asleep anyway, maybe he hadn’t seen the harm in bringing her over. They all knew better than to change indoors. Wolves were insanely destructive and they all liked a nice house, so it wasn’t like she would’ve seen anything she shouldn’t have.
Still, since she’d been with this pack, she couldn’t recall a single time any of them had brought a human home. Billy kept a room in town where he entertained lady friends, and if Maggie had a boyfriend, Chandra sure didn’t know about it. The rest of the pack followed suit, spending most of their time with one another or the other area wolves.
She might not have a right to be jealous, but Jax was Liam’s second, and his right hand in all things. He was also the brains behind their business ventures. The others looked up to him and respected him. He needed to lead by example, and, as his friend, it was up to her to remind him of that.
She went to the cabinet and took out her favorite mug, one that Jax had given her for Christmas. It had a picture of Little Red Riding Hood on it and read Anyone who confuses a wolf with their grandmother DESERVES to get eaten.
She filled it with the steaming coffee from the pot on the counter and sniffed appreciatively before taking a deep swallow. It scalded her tongue, which healed almost instantly, but it was worth it as she felt th
e glorious jolt of caffeine skim through her veins, clearing out the cobwebs in her brain. She drained her cup and refilled before heading back up the stairs to take the proverbial bull by the horns.
She knocked lightly on Jax’s door but didn’t wait for a response to let herself in. The room was dark, all the shades drawn tight, and she could just make out the shape of him in his bed.
“Go away,” he grumbled, covering his head beneath a pillow. “Wait!” He stirred again and poked his head out. “Do I smell coffee?”
Chandra sighed and brought her cup over, setting it into his outstretched hand. She sat down on the foot of the bed as he struggled into a half-seated position and began to drink her coffee.
“Headache?” she asked dryly.
“Nah, not too bad. Strong constitution, you know. What time is it?”
“About nine o’clock.”
He smothered a yawn. “Tired, though. Long night, I hardly slept.”
Chandra resisted the urge to jab him in the solar plexus and tried not to imagine he and Amber rolling around on the bed together. She reached out and touched a half-melted candle on the dresser with her forefinger before picking up a book of matches and reading the words emblazoned on it. “What’s The Naughty Kitty?”
“The name of the club where Amber dances.”
Dances.
He clearly wasn’t talking the Viennese waltz, and she bit back a growl.
“Whatever.” She dropped the matchbook and stood, determined to say her piece in spite of the ache just being in the room was causing her. “It’s really none of my concern what time you and your friend finally went to sleep last night. I’m here to talk to you and I want to get it out of the way so I can go for a run. First thing, you really shouldn’t be bringing women to the house.” She held up a hand as he opened his mouth to speak. “I know your personal life is none of my business, but she was asking me a lot of questions this morning.”
Plus, I’m crazy about you, and seeing you with someone else breaks my heart.
Jesus, she had to get those feelings on lock. Sure, he was sexy. And gorgeous. And smart. And, aside from his recent, late night jaunts, he was a great dad as well as a good person. But she couldn’t allow herself to be in love with him. That would be nuts, to hand her heart over to someone who was still in love with someone else, whether that someone else was still of this world or not. It was an exercise in futility and a recipe for pain.
So why did she suddenly have the urge to be a masochist?
Jax was still feeling a little bleary, but he couldn’t help noticing the sudden change in Chandra. She’d been the same way last night. One minute she was furious at him; the next she was comforting him in her arms.
He recalled the way she’d felt and shifted restlessly under his sheets, hoping to hide his immediate and evident reaction to her. Even now, hair up and in her running clothes, she looked superhot. Her hoodie was unzipped, and a sliver of sleek stomach was visible. Her creamy breasts, high and firm, pressed subtly against her sports tank. They were perfectly proportioned to her sturdy, toned frame. She couldn’t be more different from the more flamboyantly built Amber.
Then he thought of Sara’s willowy frame, her almost ethereal loveliness, and he realized why he had chosen Amber as a candidate to help him ease back into real life. She was the polar opposite of Sara. Maybe, deep down, he wanted to make sure he couldn’t mix them up in his mind; that he didn’t sully Sara’s memory somehow by trying to replace her with a replica. It had been an error on his part. If he truly thought about what Sara would have wanted for him, he would have found someone who gave him some peace and some happiness.
He might not be ready to move on completely, but if he was going to do this—and he was; abstaining was no longer an option—he wanted to do it right, in a way that would add something positive to his life. Drunken grappling with a stranger wasn’t going to cut it.
Fun, sexy times with a friend. Shared satisfaction. Someone who got him, understood his emotional limitations and who would still want to be friends after.
What he needed was Chandra.
Chapter Three
Chandra shifted under the weight of Jax’s stare and cleared her throat as she turned away. He’d been quiet for so long, it was starting to freak her out.
“Well, if you don’t feel like talking, I’m going to go get some exercise.” As she moved toward the door, he halted her with a hand on her wrist.
He put the coffee down on his bedside table in a slow, deliberate manner. “Why don’t you wait a minute and I’ll come with you?”
She swallowed hard, pulse pounding, wondering at her reaction to such an innocuous question. “Sure,” she said, trying to keep her voice light. “But hurry up, because I’m going now.”
“Not a problem,” he replied with a wicked grin.
He released her, slid to the opposite side of the bed and jumped to his feet, totally nude. He walked over to a hamper, then grabbed a pair of sweatpants off the top of the pile. His back to her, he bent low and slid the pants on, sans underwear, mercifully covering his distractingly naked bottom. Her heart banged against her ribs and she resisted the urge to reach for him…to yank those pants back down and get a look at him from the front.
He glanced over his shoulder. “Well? What are you waiting for?” he asked, brows raised, before jogging out the door.
Chandra stood rooted to the floor for a moment, unsure of how to react. She had never seen him totally naked, and was still completely flustered by his nonchalance. God, his back was gorgeous though. Tan, lean muscles trailing down to a firm ass that begged to be squeezed…
Whatever. If it didn’t bother him, it didn’t bother her, and she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of mentioning it.
She bounded down the steps to catch up to him and they met in the foyer.
“You going to get sneakers?” she asked, glancing at his bare feet.
“Nah,” he replied. “If we’re going to run, let’s run.”
So they would run as wolves. No wonder he had put on those ratty old sweats, she thought. Made the lack of underwear seem a lot more sensible now. She looked regretfully down at her cute little Nike workout clothes and gave them a mental kiss good-bye. Wouldn’t be the first, or the last, outfit she had ruined.
He took off out the door in a sprint, heading straight for the trees. She followed close behind. The air was crisp, and near freezing, but were-blood ran hot and it felt good on her too-warm cheeks.
Surrounding the house was a square mile of thick woods. It was private property that belonged to the pack and was fenced around the perimeter. With a state-of-the-art security system complete with cameras at all entrances and exits of the property—they didn’t record within the compound, having their activities committed to film would be too dangerous—it was one of the few places they were basically free to roam without fear of being seen. Werewolves typically marked fifty miles or more for hunting territory, so it was useless in that regard, but they were able to take advantage of the relatively large grounds for exercise and training.
Once she and Jax hit the woods, he wasted no time, leaping high in the air and exploding into wolf form. His sweats practically disintegrated around him, leaving behind a glorious tawny colored wolf, so large and powerful, she couldn’t help but marvel at his beauty.
“Showoff!” she shouted.
Despite her teasing, her blood sang as she looked on. She loved to watch him shift. He did it like that every time, with absolute abandon, as if he couldn’t wait to get out of his skin. It was one of the rare times she saw a glimmer of the old Jax, crackling with life and power as he had before Sara died.
Chandra ran to join him, full speed, and threw off her hoodie. She could feel her muscles lengthen and her bones shift into place as she leaped. She landed gracefully on the ground as a wolf and, without missing a step, tore after him.
They ran together, chasing one another, nipping and playing, for the better part of an hour.
By the time they stopped at the icy stream for a drink of water, they were both breathless and panting, but her heart was so full, she felt like she could burst.
Why couldn’t she feel this exact way about someone else? Someone who wanted her. Someone who wasn’t so tortured by the past that they couldn’t see to the future.
She took another long drink, letting the cold water run down her parched throat. It was going to be fine. She’d get over this feeling soon enough, and maybe someday, she’d find a male who loved her the way Jax had loved Sara.
Almost as if she’d called to him, Jax’s mind touched hers, asking if she was ready to change back now. She barked out a mental chuckle for his benefit. As a general rule, they always stayed in wolf form until they returned to the homestead. There was a barn out back they’d fitted with hot showers and clean clothes so that, in the event a hunt got bloody, they’d be able to clean up before heading inside. It also allowed them some measure of modesty, rather than everyone strolling around naked as they moved between human and wolf form.
He was obviously yanking her chain, suggesting she shift back with him standing right there. Talk about awkward.
She sent him a mental eye roll paired with an “as if” snort and turned, loping back toward the house, his mocking laughter ringing in her head. He lagged behind and she beat him to the barn, pressing the button that opened the door with her nose. It swung wide, and she padded across the room, stepping into one of the shower stalls. Jax chose the stall directly next to hers.
Doing her best to ignore him, she let her limbs go loose and willed herself to let the human in her take center stage. A moment later, the change was complete and she stood, naked in the narrow space.
The wall between them came only to shoulder height, and she peeked out of the corner of her eye to see how much or how little of Jax was visible from her angle. Broad shoulders only, fortunately. The last thing she needed was more temptation. Already her hands itched with the need to touch him.
