All they know me as is the player — the man who fucks any woman that moves. The man who cheated on his fiancée because committing to her scared the shit out of him. I loved Willow, but I wasn’t in love with her, and I should have let her go long before I did.
But it’s true. After dropping Fallon home last night, all I could think about was her and the way she made me feel so alive. I’ve never felt that way before. It was new to me, and I feel lost to a fucking woman for the first time in my life. I don’t care who laughs about it neither. Fuck them all!
“Well, she wasn’t happy, Trace. She wants her job back. She needs the money.”
“She don’t need to be stripping to do that, Tammy.”
“I’m not going to stop her from dancing if that’s what she wants.” She tells me defiantly.
“You made sure she’s even old enough to work here?” I counter back while folding my arms across my chest. “‘Cause she sure as shit don’t look twenty-three to me.” There’s no way Fallon is twenty-three. I don’t even think she’s twenty-one. That I.D of hers has to be fake. The girl doesn’t look a day over nineteen. Shit, that makes me feel like a pervert!
I’m probably just clutching at straws, but I’ll clutch at anything and everything if it keeps Fallon from taking her damn clothes off for a bunch of old pervs. She’s already been attacked once, and there’s no way I’m going to let it happen again.
Tessa sighs and sits her hot ass back against the desk. “That’s the only reason we’ve taken her off stage.”
“The only reason?” I stiffen my back, looking at the two of them with a serious expression on my face.
“It ain’t like you don’t have a reputation, Trace. Shepard told us to keep you away from the girls while they’re working.”
Tammy’s right, he did. The cunt. However, he was right to do so because I would have fucked each and every one of them by now if I had my way. However, he warned me not to touch one of them, or he’d break my hands, to the point, I’d never be able to ride my motorcycle again.
I have to say that it was a cuntish move putting me in this place. I mean, it’s like putting a damn junkie in a crack den.
“When Nova caught a glimpse of Fallon yesterday, she point-blank told us that she thought Fallon was too young to be here. Nova took Fallon’s information with her and told us she’d get back to us once she’d done some digging. I let Fallon dance last night regardless. Today I got a call from Tank telling me not to let her dance. Shepard’s orders.”
Good. They may not have done it for me, but Fallon is not dancing, and that’s fine by me. She’s of age, though, for sex if nothing else. That much I’m sure of.
“Well let’s hope she ain’t allowed to dance tomorrow either.”
“You can be a real dick sometimes, Trace.” Tessa rolls her eyes at me, and I can’t help but smirk.
“So where is Fallon? I didn’t see her out front.”
“She left early,” Tessa tells me. “She didn’t seem with it to me, making mistakes with drinks orders, and customers started getting aggressive with her.” Anger boils deep inside. My fingers dig into the muscles of my biceps, my nostrils flaring.
“Jesus, Trace!” Tammy chuckles. “You look set to kill.”
I am. I really am!
I don’t know what it is about that girl, but the very idea of someone getting aggressive with her makes me murderous! I’m no woman beater, and I can’t stand men who physically hurt women. My old man taught me better than that.
Yeah, I’m a fucking cheat, a lowdown rotten bastard who can’t keep his dick in his pants, but one night with Fallon has destroyed the man I was overnight.
Literally.
I don’t understand how or why I just know I have to have her. This desperate urge to protect Fallon, to make her mine, is all-consuming. It’s driving me crazy to the point she’s all I think about, and that’s damn dangerous for a man like me.
Maybe it’s because she told me it would never happen between us again that’s making me want her like this. I’m not used to any woman not wanting to see me again. It’s like Fallon is forbidden fruit, and I have to have another taste. The thought of not touching or tasting her again is driving me to distraction!
“Oh, my god, you really like her, don’t you?” I don’t answer Tessa. It’s none of her damn business what I feel.
“There’s something you should know about Fallon.”
Listening to Tammy telling me about Fallon’s problems only cements in my mind that I need to make her mine. I can protect her if she’s mine. I can give her everything she needs. I just have to make her see it. Fallon probably won’t believe I’ll ever be faithful to her, because no doubt someone will tell her what a slut I am. I can make her believe me. I can be faithful to her. Can’t I?
Can a serial cheat really change?
I don’t know, but I’m willing to give it a try.
I bump into Roman in the parking lot as I’m about to straddle my bike. He pulls up beside me, looking as pissed as all hell.
What the fuck rattled his cage?
“What’s up with you?” I ask as he barges up to me, getting right up in my face. What the fuck?
“What the hell do you think you’re doing with Fallon?”
“What the fuck does that have to do with you?”
His eyes narrow, nostrils flaring.
What crawled up his ass and died?
“You were warned to stay away from the girls. Why can’t you just listen?”
I fold my arms across my chest. “I have stayed away from them. Ask any one of them, and they’ll tell you the same thing.”
He growls from his throat. Literally growls in my damn face like a dog with rabies.
Is he spoiling for a fight over Fallon?
Roman is married. Marley is a beautiful woman, one who loves him more than anything in this world. One who forgave him when he stupidly believed her ex when he said they’d been sleeping together. It might have taken Marley a little time to prove she never had, and Roman taking their daughter away from her and threatening to kill her before he realized what a damn mistake he’d made, but she forgave him.
Marley was hurt by her ex, he drugged her and planned to take her out of the country. Roman found her, brought her to safety, but Marley wasn’t the same with him after that. She needed time alone with their daughter before she could have him back in her life. By time, I mean a few hours.
Roman killed Marley’s ex, finally proving to me just how he got the name Roman. He’s a sick individual, is Roman. Crazy bastard.
However, Marley did forgive him. She took him back, and they’ve been happy ever since. Not long became parents to a little boy. Colt. Little Romany loves her baby brother, and Roman adores them both.
However, something definitely pissed him off today.
“Just stay away from her, Trace. I mean it.”
“I don’t know who died and made you king, but what I do with whom is none of your business, Roman.”
He pulls in a deep breath and runs his hands over his face. Roman has been good to me in the past. Especially with the whole therapy thing, but that doesn’t mean it gives him the right to get up in my face about a woman. Who the fuck does he think he is?
Shit, I wouldn’t put it past him to warn Fallon away from me. He’ll tell her all about my past and what a bastard I am, and then she’ll never want anything to do with me anyway.
Great.
“Don’t test me, Trace. I’m warning you.”
I don’t answer him; I just watch him walk away from me with his shoulders hunched.
Well, that was interesting, to say the least.
Chapter Eight
Fallon
Sorry I’m visiting so late, I had to work. Not that I worked long, my boss said I could leave early because my mind wasn’t on the job.” My brother is the first person I come to when I’m struggling a little with things. Even though he’s not really here anymore, I need him.
It brea
ks my heart to see him like this. He’s no longer the huge, strong, powerful man he once was. His face is pale and sunken in, and he’s lost all of that muscle he worked hard to get. I look Scott over as I often do. The tube that covers his mouth, keeping him alive has become a part of him, and I struggle to remember a time when he didn’t have it, and I die a little more inside at the thought.
Why have I kept him alive like this for so long?
I was so selfish, I’ve kept him on this machine because I was scared to let him go, scared to be alone. I am scared because once I let him go, I’ll be all alone in the world.
Almost.
I have no idea how to find our father for him to say goodbye to my brother, and so that my brother can find some peace in the next life. I know in my heart that if I let my brother go now, he will never be at peace because his soul will forever worry about me, or is that just another excuse I’ve made up in my head because I’m scared to let go?
“I wish you were here to tell me what to do, Scott. I’m so lost and scared.” I lie my head on his hand and let the silent tears fall.
This is the hardest, toughest decision I’ll ever have to make, and even though I know, my brother is already gone, turning off his machine feels like I’m killing him all over again. For real this time. How will I live with myself afterward?
“You’re here late this evening.” My head shoots up. There’s a huge guy in the doorway, a biker, tall, muscular, handsome.
I wipe my eyes quickly. He’s one of the bikers I saw at the meeting at work the other day. I can’t place his name, though, but he’s a Snakes Henchmen like Trace, that’s all I do know right now.
“What are you doing here?” Shit, did he follow me? Did he come to find me because I fucked up at work? “Erm... Tammy said I could leave early.”
“I’m well aware of that, and I’m here because I followed you.”
“Why?” I swallow hard as he walks into the room, coming closer to the bed.
“You’ve been lying to us about your name and age, haven’t you, Fallon?”
Oh shit, they found out!
How?
No one has ever found out anything about me in the past. Scott said no one would, so how the hell does this man know anything?
I stare at him wide-eyed as he continues. “Fallon Caldwell, twenty-three years of age. Pretending to be Fallon Davidson. Real name: Fallon Jameson, actual age twenty.”
Jameson? My name has never been Jameson. It was my mother’s name, but she never used it. I’m guessing they investigated me and found out who I am.
Nevertheless, “My name has always been Caldwell. I don’t know why you would think it would be Jameson, but I’ve never gone by that name. Yes, I lied about my name and age, but that was only because I needed to work to pay for...”
“Your brother’s needs. I know. However, everything has been covered. You no longer have to worry about that.”
“What?” What the hell is he talking about?
“His father has taken care of everything.” His father? I’m so confused right now.
“How can that be? I’ve searched for our father since this happened. I’ve never found any trace of him. Nothing that would lead me to him.”
“They were in contact before this happened.”
“Yeah, he told me,” I say defensively while getting to my feet. I feel too small sitting while this giant stands.
“They were getting to know each other over a couple of months.”
What the fuck?
I look down at my brother. He was getting to know our father over months? Without telling me?
“He didn’t mention you ’til the last time they met.” More betrayal. Oh, my god, why would Scott do that to me? “Scott left that day with a promise to bring you to our clubhouse. He never returned.”
Obviously! He never returned because he was too busy saving my sorry ass and getting himself shot.
“We looked for him for months, never found anything.” That might have something to do with Brick. He promised no one would ever find my brother so they couldn’t finish the job. He made good on that promise. Scott hasn’t so much as had a visitor other than me in two years.
“Wasn’t ’til Red and me heard your name at the club that alarm bells started to go off. Nova checked you out, and here I am.”
Yeah, here he is.
“Why’d you come? My dad too scared to face me himself?”
“On the contrary. Scott’s father, on the other hand,” I narrow my eyes. Scott’s father? “Is cut the fuck up! Three fuckin’ years his son has been like this. Three and he had no damn clue, or that he was even this close to home. Just seven fuckin’ miles away from the place he lives.”
I swallow hard. How was I to know we were this close to our father? “I tried really hard to find him.” I offer up weakly. I feel empty, unwanted, even. I don’t understand what’s going on.
“I’m not blaming you, sweetheart.”
“What’s his name? Our dad?” I haven’t taken my eyes off my brother. This hallow skeleton of a man, lying in this bed, so still, so already gone. He’s nothing but a body in a bed. There’s nothing left of Scott but that.
I sense the biker step closer to the bed. I don’t want him closer. I want him to answer me, dammit!
“You and Scott don’t have the same father, Fallon. I had assumed Scott had told you that.”
This time I do look at him, my eyes darting across his face. We don’t have the same father and Scott knew, yet he didn’t once tell me in the months he was getting to know his father. Did I even know him at all?
I let go of Scott’s hand and turn away from him. I am literally dead inside. I don’t know what to think or do. All I know is that I have to get out of here.
“I have to go.” I won’t look at the biker; he’s nothing to me but a messenger for Scott’s coward of a father. “Can you let his father know that I’m signing the paperwork to have his machine switched off. He should come say goodbye before it’s too late.”
I rush from the room with the biker calling my name, but I won’t stop. I won’t wait and listen. That man has just destroyed any feelings I had for my brother by proving what a lying bastard he was. He didn’t care about me; he cared about himself.
If Scott cared about me, he would have told me that he’d found his father, that he wasn’t my father also. I would have been sad, of course, but happy for Scott, and the fact he’d found the one person he’d longed for since he was a little boy. Instead, my brother kept it from me like I was nobody to him.
God, I really am alone in the world. I was okay when I thought my dad was out there somewhere just waiting for me to find him. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I have only one link in the damn world that ties me to anybody, and that isn’t even mine anymore!
I need to get drunk. I need to forget for a while. If ever there was a time I needed a man like Trace now would be it. However, I can’t have him, he’s part of that biker club, and I’ve had enough dealings with them for one day, thank you very much.
That’s why I run. I run and run ’til the throb in my legs, and the ache in my chest stops me running anymore. I lean back against the massive tree behind me, breathing hard and fast. So much fucking anger inside that I scream my lungs out in frustration. I turn and kick and punch that damn tree with all that I’ve got.
I punch it like it’s my damn brother! I keep going until there’s nothing left inside me, and my knuckles are torn to pieces from the bark. I’m tired, and I have no fight left in me. So I turn and slide down the tree, my ass hitting the grass below with a thud.
I don’t know who I am now, where I go from here, what I’m supposed to do now.
It must be hours that I sit here because the sun is starting to rise. I need to get home and let Duke out. I need to soak my hands and wrap them up. I don’t think I need stitches, and I don’t think I’ve broken a knuckle, or at least, I hope I haven’t.
Chapter Nine
Trace
<
br /> I’ve been outside Fallon’s trailer for over an hour. She hasn’t been home all night. I don’t know how I know; I just have a feeling.
I knocked on the door to Fallon’s trailer a few times. Gave up when the big ass dog inside started jumping against the door. That’s why I didn’t attempt to open the door. I do not want a bite from that thing. From the sound of its bark, the thing is gigantic. How loud the dog was barking is what led me to believe that Fallon hasn’t been home all night. If she were home, she would’ve told the dog to quiet down, any sane person who wanted to save their hearing would, at least. The damn dog inside sounded vicious. Ain’t no way in hell I’m going anywhere near the damn thing. Not even if my life depends on it!
I’ve been sitting on the steps outside Fallon’s door ever since. I’m not leaving until I know she’s okay. I’m pissed that she didn’t come home. All I can think about is Fallon in some other guys bed, and I’ve never been so angry! I want to find the guy and rip his fucking dick off and shove it up his own ass!
Fallon is my girl, even if she doesn’t know it yet.
What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve never wanted to make anyone my girl, not since Willow. Even then, my heart wasn’t entirely in it.
However, Fallon, I don’t know, she’s different. There’s something about her, a strength and a vulnerability that I find alluring. She’s sexy as fuck, and the fact her pussy is possibly the best I’ve ever had doesn’t hurt things.
Why am I even awake this early in the damn morning? I clocked off hours ago. I should be home, sleeping. Instead, I’m outside the home of a woman I can’t stop thinking about at six in the damn morning. I’m never going to live this shit down. After all the jibes I’ve given my brothers over the years each time one of them fell in love.
I’m not in love, don’t go thinking that’s what I meant because it damn well wasn’t. I want to fuck Fallon repeatedly, wreck her for any man that comes after me. However, love isn’t something I’ll ever be able to give her.
Two Of A Kind: Snakes Henchmen MC Page 5
