“He said that to you?” She nods. That’s fucking low even for a cunt like Brick. This is a three-year-old child; why would anyone put that thought in her head? “Ava, what Brick told you wasn’t true.”
“It wasn’t?” That beautiful little face is so full of wonder. How could he have been so cruel? I’m a bastard and then some, but I’ve never treated a child cruelly.
“No, sweetheart. Your mommy loves you, Roman and Marley love you. Everyone here loves you, Ava. You are a very special little girl, don’t you ever let anybody tell you differently.”
I stroke her little cheek with the inside of my finger, and I find myself smiling at her. Why was I so scared to get close to this beautiful little girl? She’s part of Fallon; therefore she’s part of me. I’ll protect this little girl with my life until the very end.
Her little arms come up in the air, and I don’t hesitate in lifting her into mine, holding her close to me as gently as I can. I’m a massive monster in size compared to this little girl, but somehow, Ava feels like she belongs in my arms. She belongs there as much as her mother does.
“Do you love me, Twace?” She mumbles in my ear.
I breathe, deeply while stroking her back gently. “Yes, Ava, I love you.”
“I love you, Twace.” I close my eyes for a second as I hold her. It was so easy for me to say those words, so unexpected that she said them to me in return with such ease.
“Suits you.”
“Hey, Will.” Willow has been trying to make conversation with me more and more these past couple weeks. I wronged that girl in ways I can never make up for. I don’t deserve her friendship, and I don’t deserve her forgiveness. However, she gave me both without asking for anything in return. She’s an amazing woman, and I’m glad that she’s finally happy.
I watch Willow climb onto the seat beside me, the one little Ava just vacated. She smiles at me. “You okay, sweetheart?”
“I will be. I have to be. I need to be; this little girl needs me.”
“She really does, Trace. I know she has Roman, and that’s wonderful. Hell, she has all of us, but Fallon is your girl, and this little one,” Ava giggles at Willow as she strokes her little cheek with her finger. “She’s Fallon’s baby girl. When Fallon comes home and sees you both like this... Well,” She smiles just as Marley comes over to take Ava from me. It looks like it’s time for her to go home.
“Come on, little one.”
“No, no,” Ava wraps her arms around my neck tightly, pulling herself against my body as hard as she can. I get to my feet with Ava still in my arms. “I don’t want to go with you.”
“Sweetheart, it’s time to get you home. Your papaw wants to get you, Romany, and Colt to bed.”
“I want to stay with my Twace.”
“It’s time to go, Ava.” I didn’t see Roman approach us, but I feel him ripping that little girl away from me. Why the hell does it hurt my heart to hear her screaming my name as Roman walks away with her?
I know Roman is Ava’s grandfather, and she was left in his care, but I can’t help thinking that this is all wrong. How can he just walk away with her when she’s screaming the way she is? How can I just stand here and listen to it?
I can’t.
“Wait!” I call while jogging toward the man that is my brother in my heart.
He stops and turns toward me. “What is it, Trace? I need to take Marley and the kids home.”
“I know that.” I can’t take my eyes off the little girl trying to reach for me. She’s almost hysterical.
What the hell does this kid see in me? I’m a no-good biker. I don’t have kids of my own, never wanted any, but there’s something about this little girl, now that I’ve acknowledged her, that pulls at my damn heartstrings.
Roman, as big as he is, is struggling to hold Ava. She’s really pulling her weight in his arms. “Please! Please, papaw, I want Twace.”
Papaw. She heard Willow’s little boy, Noah, refer to Shepard as “papaw” and took to calling Roman the same thing. Sounds cute when she says it.
I reach for Ava, and Roman doesn’t stop me. I take her from him, and she instantly calms, her little head on my shoulder. “I know I have no right. It’s not like I’ve been with it since she arrived,” Roman folds his arms across his big chest, looking at me, waiting for an explanation. “She’s Fallon’s little girl, Roman, and Fallon is my girl, no matter what’s going on right now. I ain’t lettin’ go, Roman. I want Fallon home, and when she gets here, I want her to see that I stepped up to the plate, that I love this little girl just as she does.”
Ava’s little head shoots up. “You welly love me, Twace?”
“Yes, little one, I really love you.” Kids are amazing, aren’t they? She’s hanging off my neck like a little spider monkey, giggling like the little girl she is, happy because I love her, and I do love her. I know that now. I tried not to, but I fell in love with her anyway. “Let me take care of her tonight. I’ll make sure she’s safe.”
“You think I’m gonna leave my granddaughter with you? Are you insane?”
“I’m not a monster, Roman. I know I’ve got a past, but it is the past. Fallon changed me. I’m not the man I once was. I wouldn’t do anything to put this little girl in danger. You know me, brother, I’m many things, but I am not a danger to those I love, and I love your daughter and your granddaughter.”
Everyone is watching us; I can sense them. I hadn’t realized until now that the whole room is silent. They’re all thinking the same thing, ‘Trace can’t be trusted. Trace is a waste of space.’ That might have been true once upon a time, but it’s not now.
Nevertheless, if Roman doesn’t want me to take Ava with me, then I won’t argue with him, it’s not like I’m her father and have the right. The fact Roman isn’t saying anything in response to what I said, tells me everything I need to know. That fucking stings, let me tell you.
I set little Ava on her feet and crouch down in front of her. I take her tiny little hands in mine and smile at her. She has tear stains all over her face, her little eyes are wide and looking at me in wonder. “You have to go home with your papaw,” Ava whines and starts to cry again. “No tears, we’ll see each other again very soon. I won’t leave you, okay?” She nods and wraps her arms around my neck again.
“Ava?” She turns in my arms to look at Roman but makes sure I don’t let go of her. “Why do you want to stay with Trace?”
“‘Cause he loves my mommy.”
“We all love your mommy, darlin’.”
“But Twace is going to be my daddy,” Oh, hell. I did not say that! “Mommy and Twace are having a baby. The baby gonna call Twace daddy. I want a daddy. Want Twace to be my daddy.”
“What the hell have you been tellin’ her?!” If looks could kill...
“He didn’t tell her anything,” Thank you, Tammy. “Trace just spoke to Ava at the bar after she told him how Brick said no one could love her but her mother. Trace told her that you love her, that Marley does, that every one of us does. However, he did not say anything he shouldn’t have.”
“Baby,” Marley is now kneeling next to Roman, hand on his shoulder. “Don’t do this to her. She’s had a tough life with Brick, and she needs love, we can all give her that. I know what she means to you, what Fallon means to you. However, isn’t it possible that they mean just as much to Trace?”
“Would you allow this?” Why the fuck is he asking Red?
“He’s our brother, Roman; he’s as loyal to this club, every member, old lady, and kid, as any of us. Never thought he’d change, but I can’t deny that Trace has been different since Fallon walked into his life. Might have been off the rails a bit since she’s been gone, but it seems he’s pulled his head outta his ass now.”
Wrench tells Roman that he can trust me, that he knows I’ll never let anything happen to Ava. We went through some shit when he was shot and left for dead a couple of years ago. I got my ass kicked by a bunch of fucks who shot Wrench right in front of me. They
left me alive to tell the story. Fucking hate that I couldn’t save him. Shocked the shit out of me when Marley informed us that she’d saved him. Even more shocked when I saw he actually was alive and it wasn’t a joke.
More brother’s put their two cents in, all on my side. This club has been my life for the past few years. I’ve bled, killed, almost died for these men. Always knew they’d have my back where it counted. Never thought this would be one of those times, however.
Hell, I don’t even know what the fuck I’m getting myself into right now with this kid. However, I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t want to step the fuck up and show this little girl that we aren’t all monsters. Not where it counts at least.
“Ava, come here.” She looks to me to help her, but I have no right to keep her with me. I nod, and she walks to Roman. He hugs her tightly and kisses her head. “You know that papaw loves you, right?” Ava nods her little head. “I’m going to bring your mommy home to you just as soon as I can. I promise.”
“I love you, papaw. Please let me stay with Twace. I miss Mommy, and I want Twace to cuddle me ’til Mommy comes home.”
“You keep her safe, Trace. I swear to God, one wrong foot, and I’ll kill you myself.”
“Ain’t nothin’ gonna happen to her, Roman. I swear, I’ll blow my own brains out first.”
He nods just as little Ava runs right back to me, jumping in my arms and giggling. What the hell have I let myself in for? I don’t know shit about taking care of a kid, but it can’t be that hard, right?
Chapter Twenty-Five
Fallon
I look and feel stupid. This wedding dress is hideous, white lace, long, backless. It’s not my wedding day or anything, but it’s now only a week away. I’m with May and Janice, Billy’s wife, trying my dress on. As I’m not allowed to leave the clubhouse for any reason at all now, Janice brought the dress here.
She made it, and I am grateful, she put a lot of thought and work into it, and under normal circumstances, I would love it. However, the truth is, I hate everything about my life right now. I hate this stupid clubhouse and the people within it.
I’m nothing but a glorified maid for these people. Brick has me cleaning the place every day — my own fault after complaining about being bored. If I’m not cleaning, I’m serving them drinks or making food like some slave.
Surely the President of the clubs girl isn’t supposed to be a slave to all the men?
I’m only glad this club isn’t a huge one, there’s only eleven of them right now. Brick seems to have offed most of the men who used to be here. God only knows why, but he always finds a reason none of the others argue with. I don’t know much about running a motorcycle club, but I know that the President is at least supposed to have his men vote on things before acting on them, especially taking out a fellow member. Brick does not do this.
I know that Mortar is getting angrier and angrier with Brick’s ruling. Brick just doesn’t seem to want to listen to anything his men have to say. I can see a war coming within Satans Cutthroat MC. I can see Brick’s men turning on him, and I don’t want to be here when that happens, because that means they’ll have to kill me too. It’s how this club works. You kill the man; you kill his family also.
It wasn’t always that way, and I know Mortar hates that fact, but what can he do when Brick is out of control and even sleeps with his damn gun in his hand? I’m terrified every single night, in case, he accidentally shoots me.
So, as you can imagine, I hardly get any sleep these days. I look like hell, dark circles under my eyes, sunken in cheeks. I’ve lost weight, too. I know I have because May had to fetch me some new clothes the other day. I’m a size smaller, and as much as it pleases a woman to lose weight most of the time, I didn’t want to lose weight.
I might have needed it in the eyes of some, but I liked my body. Not so much anymore. It might have something to do with the fact I’m never really hungry. Don’t get me wrong; I eat now and again. However, it’s not like Brick even notices if I don’t.
I shouldn’t even be losing weight in my condition!
My leg is healing, at least. I’ve still got a limp, but the wound isn’t sore anymore. I was checked over by some doctor Brick brought in. He told me that I would fully heal in time, might have a slight limp for the rest of my life, but I’ll live.
I find myself wondering a lot about Ava. I wonder if she’s okay and if she’s settled in with Roman and Marley. I wonder how she gets on with Romany and Colt. I also wonder how the rest of the MC has taken to her.
She’s an easy-going child, is Ava. She’s never fussy, never misbehaves. Not that most three-year-olds misbehave, but they can be a little naughty sometimes. But not Ava, she’s just not that kind of child.
I also wonder if she misses me as I miss her. I love my baby girl, and I only did what I did because I couldn’t take care of her. However, I know I was wrong to leave her with Brick, no matter what he told me for me to hand her over, I should have been stronger. I should have been there for her, but I know in my heart that I couldn’t. I was just too lost. I didn’t feel like... Ugh. There’s no point to me keep going on about why I gave Ava to Brick. It’s not going to change anything.
I just hope she knows how much I love her, and I hope when she looks back in the future and wonders why I’m not with her, that she understands why I did all of this. The note I wrote her just in case I don’t make it out of this alive explains everything. I’ve made sure of it. Ava will know I loved her and that I had to keep her safe.
My father, Trace, and the rest of the Snakes will keep my baby safe. She’s one of them now. She will always be safe. Well, as safe as anyone can be. Hell, she not only has the largest MC in the state looking out for her but a damn mafia Don as well. I’m sure between all of them; they can protect her.
Moreover, I hope more than anything Trace doesn’t hate me too much. I know he does right now, but I wrote him a letter also. A letter explaining everything. Once he reads that he’ll know my heart was true, that I loved him more than life itself.
I sigh while sliding my hands down the dress as Janice tells me how beautiful I look and how she’ll style my hair on the day in a fancy updo.
I don’t need all of that, we’re only getting married here at the clubhouse. It’s not like we’re going to church or anything. However, she insists that it’s what Brick wants, and what Brick wants, Brick gets, right?
After Janice leaves and takes the dress with her for some last-minute alterations, needed because I’m suddenly getting a little belly even with the weight loss to my hips, May and I sit in the bar room talking, there’s just us here. All the men are out on runs, and as most of the men haven’t got old ladies, and no whores are here right now, we’ve got some peace and quiet.
She hands me a glass of lemonade and sits down with her glass of white wine. “I remember when this place used to be busting at the seams with men and women.”
I nod, not really knowing what to say to her.
“Brick has destroyed this club. Now he’s bringin’ a war down on us that we can’t even hope to win.”
“You mean with the Snakes?”
She nods her head.
There’s no way on earth a club this small could win against a giant club like the Snakes Henchmen. They might have stood a chance of taking out a few members had Brick not gone on a killing spree in his own club these past few weeks. He’s taken out nine men since I’ve been here, and a few more before he brought me here. When Scott was part of Satans Cutthroat, there were twenty-three men part of this club. Twenty-three full members and six prospects.
“To be honest, Fallon, I’m scared. Brick isn’t going to stop until he’s the last man standing.”
“He’s lost his mind,” I say more to myself than May.
“No denyin’ that. I’m scared for you.”
“Don’t,” I take her hand in mine. May is a sweet woman. She’s a few years older than me, red-headed, blue-eyed, big sister type. She was once so p
roud to be part of this club. Then Brick lost his ever-loving mind, and now she’s scared of her own family. “I’m gonna be fine.”
“Not if you stay here. Let Mortar and me help you, Fallon. Let us help you get away from him.”
Another trick. Is there anyone I can trust?
Whether May means it about helping me or not, I will not risk saying anything against Brick that might get back to him. If he decided to hurt her, torture her – because he would – to make her tell him what I’d said, she’d say it. Most would. I won’t risk it.
“I’m not leaving him, May, so just drop it!” I get out of my seat and walk away from her.
I want to put my faith in May, but I can’t. It would be suicide. For all I know, Brick has the damn place bugged. He’s so paranoid that I wouldn’t put it past him.
I get to his room and lay on the bed. My mind is blank, it’s for the best right now, thinking about nothing. If I think about nothing, nothing can upset me, and with these damn hormones, everything upsets me lately.
However, I know I have to shake myself out of this funk before Brick gets back, I don’t much fancy a beating or being forced into sex as a punishment for acting this way. Trust me; he’d do it. Brick has no compassion when it comes to anything I do. If I’m upset it pisses him off, and he gets really angry with me, and I could do without that today, thank you very much.
That’s why I’ll grab a shower, change my clothes, put on a little makeup, and smile when he walks through the door. I only hope he’s had a good run or even a smile won’t save me from what he’ll do.
God, if you can hear me, please help me be strong. Strong enough to get through what’s coming for me. Without your help, I’m not sure I’ll survive.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Trace
This Dad thing isn’t as bad as I always thought it would be. Ava’s an easy kid to care for. She’s been living with me for three weeks now because she refuses to go back to Roman’s. Oh, Ava will visit with him each day, but when it comes time for me to leave her there, she begs me not to.
Two Of A Kind: Snakes Henchmen MC Page 19
