by L A Cotton
My smile fell. “I’m volunteering at the shelter.”
He mumbled his displeasure under his breath.
“I won’t be late. Why don’t you hang out with the guys at The Gridiron and I’ll meet you afterward?” The sports bar was on my route home from Paws, the animal shelter I helped at sometimes.
“Yeah?”
I nodded, and Jason leaned in capturing my lips again. “I know I’m a lot,” he whispered, “but it’s only because I’m so fucking crazy about you.”
Love wrapped around me like a warm blanket as I fisted his hoodie tighter. “The feeling is entirely mutual.”
“Yo, Ford,” Gio yelled. I liked him. He was American-Italian and hailed from Verona County in Rhode Island. He had an adorable habit of cussing in Italian. It wasn’t any wonder they called it the language of love; his accent was so freakin’ dreamy.
“Yeah, yeah, Abato,” Jase shouted back. “That’s my cue.” He stole another kiss. “I’ll see you later.”
Pressing my lips into a small smile, I nodded. “Go show them who’s boss, Captain.” I smirked. Jason chuckled, giving me a flirty wink before taking off toward his friends and teammates.
I watched them jostle him, fist bumping and laughing. He looked so happy, so free. He’d slipped into college life with ease. Even with his intense athletic schedule, he was doing well in his classes and keeping up with the workload. Nothing fazed him.
Unlike me, who had almost failed my freshman year.
I shook off the feelings of inferiority. This year would be better. This year I would give my studies everything, and now I had Darcy in my corner, everything would work out.
Except as I headed for my first class, I couldn’t stop the seed of doubt taking root in my stomach.
Jason
“What’s up, man?” Gio asked as he spotted me on the weight bar. “You seem... tense.”
“Felicity got a tutor.”
“And that’s a problem wh—” Realization dawned on his face. “The tutor is a guy?”
My jaw clenched as I pictured that fucker’s face. I didn’t know him from Adam, but I already didn’t like him. He’d be spending time with Felicity. My woman, the other half of my fucking soul. Possessive asshole or not, I was not okay with some guy spending quality time alone with my girl.
“It’s just tutoring.” He snorted. “You don’t have anything to worry about.”
“Don’t I?” My brow rose.
Felicity was gorgeous. All seductive curves and wild spirit. I saw guys around campus watching her, wishing they could have a taste. They soon backed the fuck off when they saw me, but still.
“Seriously, bro, Fee wouldn’t look twice at another guy. She doesn’t get all crazy possessive when we hang out with the cheer squad.”
Oh, she did. I just didn’t advertise the fact. Freshman year, Felicity had almost attacked a girl for trying to get my number at a party. Instead, I’d dragged her to the nearest bedroom and fucked the anger right out of her.
Our love was like wildfire. It burned constantly. Throw water on it and it simmered to a gentle flicker, but add a strong wind and it became an inferno. Ferocious and unpredictable.
“This is why I don’t have a girlfriend,” Griffin joined us. “Too much drama for my liking.”
“Dude, you don’t have a girl because you’re a walking, talking STI.” Gio exploded with laughter but it became muted when Griffin punched him in the arm.
“I had chlamydia once. One fucking time. She told me she was—”
“Rule number one, Griff,” I said. “Always wrap it.”
“Yeah,” he dragged a hand through his hair, “And what’s rule number two?”
“Get a steady girl and then you won’t have to worry about wrapping it.”
Gio and I shared a knowing smile. He wasn’t in a serious relationship like me and Felicity, but he had steady pussy.
“Nah, I need to sow my wild oats before I settle down.” Griffin grabbed some free weights and started pumping.
“You just haven’t met the right girl,” I said. I didn’t make a habit of sharing my personal life, but Gio and Griffin were my closest friends on the team. Both juniors, they’d taken me under their wing last year. It wasn’t the same as having Cameron and Asher—guys who had known me most of my life—in my corner, but I trusted them. And sometimes, when I needed to, I confided in them.
“You guys want to get a drink at The Gridiron later?” I asked them.
“Fee giving you a free pass?” Gio smirked and I flipped him off.
“She’s working a shift at the shelter. She’ll meet us after. I’m going to invite Asher and Mya too.”
He’d been nagging me to get together, but it had been a crazy couple of weeks.
“I’ll ask Jordan if she wants to come.”
“Pussy whipped.” Griffin coughed under his breath.
“We’re friends.”
“Friends with benefits,” I corrected.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Count me out,” Griffin said. “But enjoy couples’ night.” He squeezed Gio’s shoulders before heading for the chest press.
“I hope his dick falls off.”
I chuckled. “He just hasn’t met—”
“The right girl, yeah.” Gio looked conflicted but I didn’t ask. If he wanted to talk about Jordan, he’d bring it up. “How are you feeling about being captain?” He changed the subject.
“It’s an honor.” It was. I’d come to Penn wanting to go all the way, and this was just another step in the right direction.
“But...” he prompted.
“Linc left some big shoes to fill.”
“Nah, you’ve got this. If it wasn’t going to be this year, it would have happened when he graduated. This spot was yours the minute you stepped foot into the locker room.”
“Thanks, man, I appreciate it.”
“No need to thank me, Jase. You’re one of the best; the kind of leader this team needs to go all the way. I have faith in you, man, even if you don’t.”
“I guess we’d better get to work then.” I smirked, brushing off his compliment no matter how much it meant to me.
“Yeah.” He chuckled. “We’d better.”
Felicity
“Fee, baby, get over here.”
“Asher?” I smiled, surprised to see him standing at the bar next to Jason and… “Mya!”
A high-pitched squeal broke from my lips as I bypassed Asher to go straight to his girlfriend. “It’s so good to see you.”
“Girl, it’s been three weeks.”
“Three weeks too many.” I hugged Mya tighter, uncaring that she preferred to keep PDAs to a minimum. “Tell me everything. How are classes? The new place? I want to know it all.”
“Are you okay?” She eyed me with suspicion.
“What? I can’t be happy to see one of my best friends?” I smiled, but it felt weak.
“Don’t worry about me or anything,” Asher grumbled, making Jason, Gio, and Jordan laugh.
“So needy.” I locked my arms around his neck and hugged him. “It’s good to see you, Ash.”
“Not as good as it is to see you.” He held me tight until familiar fingers pried me away.
“Okay, put my girl down, Bennet, before I have to snap your fingers and ruin your football career before it even gets started.”
Asher released me and Jase pulled me between his legs. “I missed you.”
“I want to say I missed you too, but the shelter had two new rescues, Pug puppies... they were so cute.”
“Great, I’ve been axed for goddamn dogs.”
“Aww, you still own my heart.” I kissed the corner of his mouth. “But these were some really, really cute puppies.”
“Well if you'd rather stroke those than…” he whispered the words only meant for me as he trailed a finger down my neck. A shiver rolled through me and I swallowed a whimper.
“Didn’t think so.” Jason kissed the end of my nose. “Hey, Hugh, get
my girl a drink,” he called over to the bartender.
“Sure thing. Your regular, Fee?”
I nodded. “So, what have you guys been talking about in my absence?”
“Oh, you know, trying to deflate this one’s head since he got promoted to captain.” Asher pinched Jase’s cheek, and he batted him away. “How does it feel to wear the crown?”
“Asher,” Mya sighed.
“He knows I’m proud. I’m like the proud brother he never had. But that shit’s got to weigh a ton.”
“I was born ready,” Jason said, but I saw the tightness in his eyes. He was having doubts about his ability to lead.
We all knew he had nothing to worry about though because he was born ready.
“That’s the spirit, bro.” Asher clapped him on the shoulder. “Now Fee is here, we should toast.”
“We don’t need to—”
“To Jason,” he thrust his beer in the air, “may your leadership be firm and your game strong. Congratulations, man.”
Jason
I tried to heed Asher and Gio’s words. Every day we practiced, every day we studied game tapes and devised new plays, I tried to hold onto the fact that I’d waited for this day my entire life. But with the opening game finally here, I couldn’t deny I had a constant gnawing in my stomach.
It didn’t help that Felicity was spending more and more time with tutor boy. She was finding one of her classes, parasitology or something, particularly difficult. But it wasn’t like I was around much to help, or even could if I was.
The team had become my life the last couple of weeks. Everything building to this moment.
“Okay, ladies, look alive.” Coach Faulkner moved through the locker room, fierce determination etched in the lines of his face. “Tonight, we’re going to go out there and show everyone why it should have been us bringing that trophy home last season, you hear me?”
“Yes, Coach.” Our battle cry echoed off the walls, reverberating all the way down to my soul. Hunger pulsed inside me as adrenaline trickled through my veins. No synthetic high could ever replicate this; the moment you stepped out on that field. The second we became gods among men: worshipped and adored, immortalized in the chants of the crowd, every sigh and gasp and cheer. It was our oxygen, our life-force. And I would let it fuel me, push me harder and faster until we won.
“Number one,” Coach fixed his eyes on me, “you ready?”
It was the million-dollar question.
I felt strong.
One hundred percent on form.
But I also felt humbled; honored to captain my team, to walk them into battle and lead them to victory.
Because losing was not an option.
“I feel ready, Coach.”
“Glad to hear it, son. Dartmouth are looking strong, but they don’t have our heart. They don’t have our drive or our thirst.” He jabbed his finger into the air. “They don’t have what it takes to go all the way. Bring it in.”
The sound of our cleats against the locker room floor was like the beat of a drum.
“Quakers on three. Jason, do the honors.”
I punched my hand into the middle of the tightly knit circle as fifty other hands followed suit.
“One... two... three... Quakers.”
We broke formation to file out on the field. I grabbed my helmet and jogged ahead, my heart racing, blood pounding between my ears. But it was nothing compared to the roar of the crowd as we jogged out onto Franklin Field.
“Soak it up, man,” Griffin yelled around a shit-eating smirk.
And I did. I slowed to a walk, soaking it up. There had been something special about playing in my freshman year. But this, being here as captain, was the pinnacle of my football career to date. I needed to take a minute, to allow myself a second to process everything. My eyes scanned the VIP section and found Felicity. She was grinning from ear to ear, sitting beside Jordan who was here to support Gio on a 'purely platonic' basis. I called bullshit, but whatever. I could just make out Felicity mouthing the words, “I love you.”
In that moment, with my girl in the bleachers, the thirteen-thousand strong crowd all shouting my name, I felt like a god. Worshipped. Adored. Loved.
I felt unstoppable.
This was my calling, my domain… my kingdom.
And I was born to rule.
Felicity
“Oh my god,” I breathed as I watched Jason fall back, search the field for his wide receiver, and send the ball flying toward him. He caught it, tucking it into his body and sprinting toward the end zone.
“Go, go,” Jordan yelled, and the entire crowd seemed to yell with her.
“Touchdooooown,” the announcer’s voice filled the stadium, and everyone went wild.
“They’ve got this,” Jordan said around a big smile.
“Yeah.” I dropped down in my seat and searched for Jason. He was celebrating with his teammates, high-fiving and fist-bumping. He looked completely at home out there, as if he was born to play.
I didn’t doubt he was. Some people possessed that natural talent, a destiny written in the stars. We were watching football greatness unfold right before our eyes, and I didn’t think there was a person in the crowd who doubted that Jason Ford, a boy from a small town in Pennsylvania, would one day grace the NFL with his talent and charisma.
The cheer squad broke into a sideline celebration and I smothered a groan.
“Hey, turn that frown upside down.” Jordan nudged my shoulder.
“They’re just so obvious.” I heard them talk about Jason, watched them lust over him despite the fact everyone knew he was off the market.
“Please tell me you’re not worried about the likes of Shelly and Farrah?”
“She wants him.” Shelly Halstead had wanted Jason since the first day he stepped foot on campus.
“Half the girls here want him.”
My lips pressed into a thin line, but Jordan only laughed.
“He loves you; everyone can see that. You have nothing to worry about.”
I liked Jordan. She was one of my few girlfriends here. It wasn’t that I’d purposefully avoided making friends during freshman year, just it was hard when your boyfriend was the new football star. Girls either looked at me as the competition or they were brazened enough to try to use me as a steppingstone to get to Jason and his friends. I’d quickly given up trying to form genuine friendships. I had Jordan and Mya, and I spoke to Hailee all the time despite the nine-hour distance between us.
“It’s just... a lot,” I whispered the confession, hating myself for even saying the words.
Jason gave me no reason to worry. He was unwavering in his love for me. But as I watched the team celebrate; watched the cheer squad lick their lips and bat their eyelashes in his direction; listened to thousands of people chant his name; I couldn’t help but think the very thing he loved would one day be the thing that drove a wedge between us.
Jason was going places.
And I barely had my head above water.
Jordan pulled me into a side hug. “You and Jason are endgame, Fee. I see the way he watches you, the way he tracks your every move. That guy is head over heels in love with you. All this: football, the crowds, the high; it would mean nothing if he didn’t have you by his side.”
As if he heard her words, as if he felt the doubt swirling around me like a storm cloud, Jason looked up, searching the bleachers for me. I couldn’t see his eyes behind his helmet, but I felt them.
And I couldn’t ever imagine not feeling them.
The party was wild. But there was something about winning the first game of the season that had everyone worked up. Jordan and I lingered on the periphery with a couple of the other girlfriends, sipping our sugary sweet mixed drinks, while Jason, Gio, Griffin, and a handful of their other friends took shots.
“Okay, okay, let me get up here.” Griffin jumped up on the huge breakfast island and ushered the crowd into silence. “I think I can speak for everyone when I say we were a
ll fucking bummed when Coach gave us the news about Linc. But I think I can also speak for everyone here when I say we never doubted Jason would be there to pick up the pieces.” He fixed his eyes on Jase and raised his beer in the air. “I’m proud to call you my friend, man, but I’m even prouder to call you my captain. And I know... I just fucking know, you’re going to take us all the way this season.”
The room exploded with cheers and hollers, quickly turning into chants of, “Speech, speech.”
Jason cleared his throat, looking more than a little displeased at Griffin’s little stunt. “Those of you who know me, know I’m a private guy, so I’m going to keep this short. Linc is a good guy, one of the best. He took me under his wing last year and guided me right, and for that, I owe him. I’m fucking honored to lead the team in his stead. To Linc.” He tipped his beer forward and nodded at his rapt audience.
“Linc.” The name echoed through the room, a somber reminder of how fragile this life could be. How, one minute, you could be on the cusp of football greatness only to have it all ripped away in the blink of an eye. Or, in Linc’s case, a simple wrong landing during a basketball game with his younger brothers.
Jason’s eyes found mine across the kitchen, and he stalked toward me.
“We’re going to dance,” Jordan announced, shooting me a knowing glance.
I gave them a small wave, heat coursing through my veins as Jason drank me in. I was wearing skinny jeans and a fitted Quaker tank top, no different than half the girls here. But the way he looked at me... it was as if I was the only girl he could see.
The only girl he wanted to see.
“Hey.” He crowded me against the counter.
“Hey.” I smiled. I couldn’t help it. Jason would always bring out the best and worst of me. “Nice speech.”
“You know I fucking hate doing that.”
“I know.” I ran my fingers over his jaw. He didn’t resemble a twenty-year-old sophomore. He was all man. Tall, broad, and muscular with a five o’clock shadow over his angular jaw, Jason had graduated Rixon a boy on the verge of adulthood and matured into a confident, self-assured guy who knew without doubt what he wanted from life.
