“Oh, yeah?” Diana said, staring at the painting.
“This room is where Mom and I stayed for six months after Mom and Dad separated. I was supposed to sleep in the twin bed but we slept together in the queen.”
“Aw. That’s sweet.”
“Yeah. A couple of times Dad came here and pounded on the front door and yelled that he wanted to talk to Mom and no one would answer the door.”
“Ooh, that must have been horrible,” I said. What happened between my parents had been much more civilized. They had sent me to Grammy’s house for two weeks one summer and when I got back everything had been decided.
“Yeah, hearing him yelling like that made me cry. I was in second grade.”
“Ooh, yeah.” I shivered, wrapping a towel around my wet hair. “Nothing like that would ever happen with Daddy and Lynn, do you think?” I could feel my chest tighten just thinking about it. A few seconds of silence crawled by. My thoughts careened from one possibility to the next. Was it happening with Diana, too? She acted like she didn’t care, but I wasn’t sure I believed her.
Finally Diana shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m never getting married, that’s all I can say.”
“Really?” I wasn’t surprised to hear her say that, to tell the truth. “Why not?”
“Getting along with another person all the time is just too hard.”
“But wouldn’t you get lonely? I can see that marriage is hard, but I don’t want to be alone.” I ran a brush through my hair. “What about having kids?”
“I like being by myself,” Diana said. “When I grow up I’m just going to have lots of pets. I’ll have, like, seven dogs and five cats. They’ll be my kids!”
I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, brushing my hair, thinking about what Diana had said. I pictured her living in a house with all those animals. “So, how do you think things are going with Jon and Olivia so far?”
“Jon and Olivia,” said Diana, laughing. “Aren’t you curious what they might be talking about? I bet they’re talking about us, don’t you?”
I laughed uneasily. “Yeah, probably.”
“I mean, when I see Dr. Shrink, I talk about Mom and Norm sometimes.”
“And me?”
Diana grinned. “Yeah, sometimes about you.”
“I kind of wonder what it’s like talking to a shrink. I mean, do you just talk?”
“Yeah. Mostly. I’ll tell her about stuff that happens. Sometimes she’ll ask questions and that’s a pain because they’re hard to answer.”
“Questions about your feelings?”
“Yeah. Sometimes she’ll make suggestions for ways for me to try to be more patient and calm down.”
“I think that would be kind of cool,” I said. “Is it?”
Diana shrugged. “Sometimes it’s a pain.”
All of a sudden my phone rang with Mama’s ringtone, the theme song from “Mamma Mia,” which she had picked herself. I set my jaw. I wasn’t going to answer it. Then, after a few seconds, I broke down.
“Hi, sugar!” She sounded excited and out of breath. “Listen, I know you’re mad at me because you’ve been ignoring my texts. But don’t hang up, sugar. I felt so guilty about you not staying with me this weekend that I told Barry I couldn’t meet him in Asheville. I’m here, and I want to come get you. I have to pick up Matt from work, since he lost his license, but I can come get you after that.”
I got goosebumps all over. Mama had changed her plans for me! I didn’t think she’d ever do that. “Wow,” I said, not sure what to say. “That’s kinda sudden, isn’t it, Mama? I mean, are you sure?”
“I’m sure, sugar! We’ll go shopping and get pedicures together tomorrow or something. I have to pick Matt up at eight, and then I can come get you. Just tell them I’m coming! Bye!”
I hung up, kind of stunned.
“What was that?” Diana asked.
“This kind of strange phone call from Mama. She said she changed her plans and I can stay with her this weekend and she’s coming to get me later tonight.”
“She’s coming to get you?” Diana plopped down on the bed with a disappointed look on her face. “Don’t go! Do you want to go?”
I couldn’t answer her. I truly didn’t know. I had felt kind of awkward when I first got here, but Grandma and Grandpa Roberts had made me feel really welcome. I’d been mad at Mama, but now she’d changed her plans for me. I wanted to be with Mama, but what about Matt? Would he be around this weekend? Even though he’d been nicer to me, I still hadn’t forgotten the times he’d been mean, and once even threatened me.
“You’ve got to stay, Steph! When Noah comes you won’t be able to hang out. And you won’t learn to kneeboard.”
I didn’t look at her. Instead, I went around the room, gathering my hair dryer and overnight case and wet bathing suit and putting them back into my suitcase. I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t like being mad at Mama. I wanted things between us to be good.
“Dinner’s ready! Come and eat!” Grandma called from downstairs.
Trying to kneeboard works up an appetite. The salad was laden with Grandpa’s juicy tomatoes, and the roast, potatoes, and hot bread all smelled fantastic.
“That was a good try out on the kneeboard today, Stephanie,” Grandpa said. “I’m sure you’ll get it next time you try.”
“I hope so,” I said. I felt like such a dork. I bet Diana had gotten up on her first try.
“Well, let’s talk about our plans for tomorrow,” said Grandma. “Diana, you’re working at the horse barn and we need to get you there, is that right?”
“Right, I have to be there at eight,” Diana said, slathering margarine onto her potato. She looked over at me. “I hope Commanche’s hoof is better.”
I waited for Diana to mention the fact that she had invited Noah to the lake, but she didn’t.
“And Stephanie, you have to teach two gymnastics classes tomorrow morning, right?” Grandma added.
I knew now it was time for me to tell Grandma and Grandpa Roberts that Mama was coming. I bit into my bread, hesitating. I was afraid they might get mad. But then Diana did it for me.
“Stephanie’s mom is coming to get her tonight,” Diana told them.
Grandma put down her fork. “She is? I thought you were supposed to be here for the whole weekend.”
“I was, but Mama changed her plans and I can stay with her now. She’s not going to Asheville to meet Barry.”
“But you have to learn to kneeboard!” said Grandpa.
“Oh,” said Grandma with a sigh. “It’s been so nice to have you with us. I wish you could stay.”
I felt myself blushing. They were being so kind. I didn’t know what to do.
I wished none of this had ever happened. That Daddy and Lynn hadn’t gone away. That Mama hadn’t had other plans when we called her. That Mama and I had never had a fight. I really wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.
After dinner, Diana and I helped Grandma with the dishes, then ran up to our room to get our flip-flops se we could go with Grandpa to the movie store. On our way back down, Diana grabbed my hand and we stopped in the middle of the stairs. She put her finger to her lips and we listened.
“Do you think the girls know why Lynn and Norm went away?” Grandma was saying. Dishes clattered as she finished loading the dishwasher.
“I don’t know, why?” asked Grandpa.
“Well, Lynn said they didn’t tell them, but what did you think about what they said out on the dock this afternoon, when they were pretending to be the male and female goose getting marriage counseling?” asked Grandma.
“Oh, that? You think that proves that they know about it?”
“It aroused my suspicions. Why would the girls say something like that otherwise?”
“You’ve got a point. Maybe they’ve figured it out.”
“I just don’t like those girls having to face so much uncertainty. That’s one reason why I don’t want Stephanie to go with her mother ton
ight. They’ve already had enough disruption in their lives. They don’t need more.”
“Well, it’s her mother,” Grandpa said.
There was silence. Diana looked at me and nodded, and we continued down the stairs. My heart pounded in my chest. Grandma and Grandpa did know about where Daddy and Lynn had gone! Would there be a big argument when Mama got here?
Diana, who is better than I am at faking things, pretended we hadn’t heard anything. She immediately talked Grandpa into letting her drive to the movie store, so she climbed into the drivers’ seat, Grandpa rode shotgun, and I climbed into the back of their sedan. Diana had a little trouble backing out of the long driveway, and I turned and watched out the rear window, thinking about how I would be learning to do this myself next year.
“Slow down, now,” Grandpa told her as she drove down their street. “This is a winding road and you don’t want to take these corners too fast.”
“Okay.” She slowed down a little. Diana didn’t talk back to Grandpa the way she talked back to Lynn.
On the way home, after getting a movie, dusk was approaching, and Grandpa made Diana turn on the headlights. As we turned back onto Grandpa and Grandma’s street, and began the winding descent down to the lake, Grandpa said, “Well, Diana, you did a pretty good job driving other than being a bit aggressive with the accelerator. When your mother learned to drive a stick shift, I believe my hair turned white in one day.”
Diana laughed. “That’s pretty funny.”
We were all laughing when we came around the last turn. And, that was when it happened. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a deer leaped right in front of our car. Its narrow head, with large frightened eyes, soared directly in front of our windshield.
“Look out!” yelled Grandpa Roberts.
“Oh!” Diana yelled slamming on the brakes.
The deer’s long, powerful front legs hit the road directly in front of our right tire, and then we slammed with a loud thump into the deer’s shoulder.
I screamed.
7
DIANA
“I couldn’t help it! It jumped right out in front of me!” I burst into tears.
“Just pull over to the side of the road,” Grandpa said.
But I was shaking all over. I couldn’t move. I had hit a deer! A beautiful deer! I sat there frozen and sobbing, with the engine running. Over and over in my head, I kept hearing the sound of that thump.
Finally, Grandpa got out and walked around to the driver’s side. “Can you slide over, honey? Let me pull the car over.”
I managed to move over to the passenger seat. “What happened to it?”
“I don’t know. That’s what we’re going to see,” Grandpa said. He slid behind the wheel and pulled the car over to the side of the road.
“I’m going to look for the deer,” he said, cutting the engine. “You girls stay here.”
“No, I’m coming with you!” I said.
“No, if it’s hurt I don’t want you to see it,” Grandpa said.
But I didn’t listen. Still shaking like crazy, with tears rolling down my cheeks, I jumped out of the car and followed Grandpa into the wooded area beside the road. Even though we had hit the deer, it hadn’t fallen down. It had just kept on running. And it was nowhere to be seen. Grandpa and I tromped through the branches and underbrush, searching through climbing vines and under pine trees, combing the area for fifty yards around, while Stephanie waited in the back seat of the car. We couldn’t find it.
Finally Grandpa said, “It must have been okay. It didn’t stop. Maybe it wasn’t that badly hurt.”
“That thump sounded so awful, Grandpa.” Tears started leaking again from the edges of my eyes just thinking about it. “Do you think if I had been a more experienced driver I could have done anything?”
“No, it jumped out directly in front of us, honey,” Grandpa said. “There was absolutely nothing you could do. If I had been driving, I would have hit that deer.”
Still I was shaking.
Grandpa stopped to examine the car when we got back. The right front headlight was smashed. “Well, it’s a good thing it’s not any worse,” he said.
“Did you find the deer?” Stephanie asked when we climbed into the car.
“No, it completely disappeared,” I told her. “So maybe I didn’t really hurt it.”
“Just no way of knowing,” Grandpa said as he started the car and headed back down the road. “You know, when living things have the fight or flight response, they have a lot of adrenalin running through their system, so they can do some amazing things, even with serious injuries. We’ll probably never know what happened to that deer.”
After we told Grandma about hitting the deer, I went upstairs and got into the bed and pulled the flowered bedspread up over my head. I felt horrible. I had seen the deer’s beautiful face just as we hit it, with its terrified eyes. I could close my eyes and feel the thudding jolt as we hit.
For school I had just read The Yearling, the story about a boy who raised a deer. I had loved reading about the way the boy related to the deer, all the deer’s antics inside the house, and the deer’s funny and mischievous personality. The boy had named the deer Flag. But the boy’s life was very hard, and the story had been so sad in parts.
Stephanie and Grandma Roberts came upstairs after me. “Maybe the deer will be all right,” Stephanie said, sitting on the side of the bed.
“I’m never driving again,” I said, from under the bedspread.
“Oh, nonsense,” Grandma Roberts said. “Grandpa told me the deer ran right out in front of you. There was nothing you could do. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Why do animals do that, anyway? Run out in front of cars?” I asked, folding the bedspread back so I could see them.
“Well, you know, they might be confused by the lights,” Grandma said. “They may be scared but not know which way to run.”
“I’m not driving anymore,” I repeated. I had been so excited about getting my license, but right now the idea of getting behind the wheel just made me start shaking again, just like Stephanie. I was pathetic. I might have killed a living thing. I might be a murderer.
A minute later, a knock sounded on the front door downstairs.
“That’s probably Mama,” Stephanie said. She went over to the twin bed and slung her weekend bag over her shoulder.
“Oh, no, we’re not ready for you to leave, Stephanie!” Grandma said.
We heard Grandpa downstairs answering the door. “Well, hello, come in, come in,” he said.
“Hey there,” came Stephanie’s mom’s voice. “Thanks so much for keeping my Stephanie today.”
Stephanie headed downstairs and Grandma Roberts and I followed her. Stephanie’s mom, normally with perfect hair and makeup, had mascara smears and bags under her eyes. She looked like she’d been crying. She was talking and waving her hands around nervously. “I appreciate you keeping Stephanie but I can keep her now.”
“Hey, Mama,” Stephanie said.
Her mom pulled her close and wrapped her arms around her. “Hey, sugar!”
“We were expecting to have Stephanie all weekend,” said Grandma Roberts. “We were looking forward to it.”
“I know, and I so appreciate you being willing to keep her, but my plans have changed.” Stephanie’s mom was playing with Stephanie’s hair now, picking it up and smoothing it down over her shoulder.
“All right, then,” said Grandma Roberts. “We’ll miss you, Stephanie.”
Stephanie’s mother pulled her more tightly against her, wrapping her arms around her neck.
I looked at Stephanie’s face. She looked uncomfortable and a little scared.
“Where’s Matt?” I asked.
“He’s out waiting in the car. I just picked him up from his job at the carwash. We’re all going to head home and have a nice time together.”
“How is Matt getting along since his accident?” asked Grandma Roberts.
“Really well,” said Stephani
e’s mom. “He regained all the movement in his arm, and he’s got that carwash job, and he’ll be taking classes at the community college this summer, too. He’s really turned over a new leaf. We’re proud of him.”
“That’s wonderful,” said Grandma Roberts.
“Well, sugar, if that’s all your stuff, let’s get going,” said Stephanie’s mom. “Thanks again.”
“Thanks for having me,” said Stephanie. “Thanks for dinner and for the kneeboarding lesson.” I looked at her face and the expression was hard to read.
“Our pleasure,” Grandpa Roberts boomed. “And we want you to come back again.”
“Any time,” said Grandma Roberts, and she lay her hand on Stephanie’s arm.
“Bye,” Stephanie said to me. “I guess I’ll see you back at home next week.”
But would she? What was going to happen when Mom and Norm got home?
“Bye,” I said. “Text me.”
“Yeah, okay, I will.”
I went outside on the front porch to watch as Stephanie walked up the long driveway to her mom’s car. Matt, sitting in the front passenger seat, waved. After a second, I waved back.
I lay on the couch in the family room of the lake house. It wasn’t going to be any fun to watch the movie without Stephanie.
“I don’t feel good about letting that girl go tonight,” said Grandma Roberts. She sat at the end of the couch and put my feet in her lap.
Grandpa sat down in his La-Z-Boy. “Well, it’s too late now. She’s gone.”
“Did you think it looked like her mother had been crying?”
“Yes,” I said.
“You thought so, too?”
I nodded.
“What’s her husband like, do you know, Diana?”
“I don’t know.” I thought about Barry. “He’s tall.”
“Well, that doesn’t tell me much!”
“He’s a pilot. He likes golf.”
“But what’s he like?”
“I don’t know, Grandma! I never paid much attention to him. I’ve only met him once or twice. He’s not usually around.” Sometimes Grandma asked a lot of questions.
Season of Change Page 4
