227 you back at court. Joanna tells me your newest babe is as beautiful hg her mother; how does she?" 3 "Gwenifer is fine." Catherine paused. "I just wish I could say as much for Joanna." "What do you mean?" Catherine did not reply at once. Having already plunged into the ater, it was no ^me now *° ^"e worrying if she'd gotten in over her head. But she could not suppress a nervous qualm or two. As fond as Llewelyn was of her, he was not likely to thank her for pointing out all his shortcomings as a husband. "We've been friends for nigh on thirteen years. I must hope that our friendship does give me the right to speak plainly . . . about Joanna and you. You've not done right by her, Llewelyn; I know no other way to say it than that." "Indeed?" Llewelyn was both surprised and annoyed. Leaning back in the seat, he gave her a distinctly cool look. "I do not know to whom you've been listening, Catrin, but you are wrong. I think I've been very good to Joanna. Even ere we were married. I spared no expense in having her chamber made ready for her. Nor have I denied her anything since we've been wed, have given her whatever she asks for, have made sure that none do speak disparagingly of her father in her hearing, that she's accorded the respect due her as my wife. I've been patient, too, keeping in mind her youth, have not forced her against her will, and I've taken care that my liaison with Cristyn should not cause her hurt. Now if that is not doing right by her, what more would you have me do?" Catherine bit her lip. Rhys had an unfortunate and infuriating tendency to stalk out whenever he was irked with her; she felt sure that even if he refused to act upon her advice, Llewelyn would at least hear her out. But she was not getting off to the best of starts; the last thing she'd wanted was to put him on the defensive. "I did not mean you've been unkind," she said hastily. "I was speaking rather of sins of omission. I do not deny what you've done for her, but Llewelyn, do you ever think of Joanna, truly think of her as a woman, as your wife? Do you know how unhappy she is? How homesick? Do you know that she has been trying for months now to befriend your children, but to no avail? Or that she did turn fifteen more than two months ago?" Llewelyn was listening intently, his face thoughtful now rather "an irritated, and Catherine gathered up her courage, concluded luntly, "I suspect. . . and please do not take this amiss; I do not mean it ^s a criticism, for I know how heavy your burdens be. But I suspect you Or8et about Joanna altogether when she's not right there in front of y°u- And then she held her breath, waiting.
228 "Yes," he said at last, "I suppose there is some truth in what say. I am fond of the lass, Catrin, but she's not all that often on you Hy mind, I admit. Is she truly as unhappy as that? I thought she'd adjust time ..." "She tries, wants so much to do what is expected of her. But she' very young, and very alone. She speaks no Welsh, and how many at your court do speak French? She cannot even communicate with he maid, and with you so often away, there are days when she has no one at all to talk to. She's lonely and homesick, finds herself an alien in a land not her own. Can you not imagine how that would be?" Llewelyn drew an audible breath. "Yes," he said slowly. "I cat) imagine quite well; I've been there." Catherine leaned over, kissed him on the cheek. "Joanna is a lucky girl, and someday I shall tell her so," she said, smiled at him. The puzzle lacked but one piece now, and since he'd been the first to make mention of it, she felt no compunctions in saying, "You said you were being patient with Joanna, because of her youth. Then that is why you've not yet bedded her?" Llewelyn nodded. "Why else? I knew, of course, that she was fourteen. But to tell you true, Catrin, it came as rather a shock to find out just how very young a fourteen she was." He gave a rueful laugh, thinking back upon his wedding night. "Not having a taste for rape, I thought it best to give her time" He broke off abruptly. "Surely you do not think I was wrong?" "Indeed not! I think your forbearance was much for the best, was as clever as it was kind. But as fearful and reluctant as Joanna may have been on her wedding night, Llewelyn, that was over six months ago. How long do you mean to wait?" She saw amusement in his eyes, saw sudden interest, too. "Did Joanna speak to you of" "No!" she interrupted, quite indignantly. "Do you truly think I'd betray her confidence if she had? I would never tell you what she'd confided to me in trust; you ought to know that. It is because she did not that I felt free to come to you like this, to tell you what I think." "Which is?" "That Joanna is not the child you think her to be. And I'd venture to guess that if you were to stop neglecting the girl and pay her some longoverdue attention, you might be pleasantly surprised!" PUTTING down Richard's letter, Joanna began to reread her father's. These were the first letters she'd had since their departure for La Rochelle in late May. She'd expected such a silence, for John would have
229 tie time for letter-writing in the midst of a campaign, Isabelle was a lously pOOr correspondent, and Richard had not the funds to en n e a couner of his own It had been a long, lonely wait, but the news s good, was all she could have hoped to hear Her father was coming home Reaching for her mantle, Joanna hastened from her chambers, out nto the bailey She knew Llewelyn was conferring that morning with lorwerth ap Madog, the lawyer he'd chosen to compile the ancient law ode of Hywel the Good, and she headed for the great hall Catching sight of her husband in the window seat, she started toward him "Llewelyn, I've had a letter from my father1 He" Coming to an abrupt halt, stanng at Catherine THE window was covered with oiled linen, casting the seat into sun and shadow Llewelyn positioned a cushion behind Joanna's back, sat down beside her He was so close that she felt his breath upon her cheek as he leaned over to unfasten her mantle, so close that she could think of nothing else, sitting in silence until he prompted, "Are you not going to tell me what your father wrote, Joanna7" "He he has won signal victories against the French, did take Montauban Castle in just fifteen days " Joanna raised her eyes to Llewelyn's, found she could not look away "He writes that he has secured his hold upon Poitou, that he and Philip have agreed to a two-year truce " "It does sound as if his campaign was indeed a success," Llewelyn agreed politely, forbearing to tarnish John's triumph by pointing out that he may have regained Poitou, but Normandy was still lost to Philip Joanna nodded "Not even Charlemagne could take Montauban, but Papa did," she said proudly "He took Angers, too " She hesitated then, before saying with studied casualness, "What were you and Cathenne talking about7" Llewelyn had, however, caught her inadvertent look of dismay at sight of them together Having long ago learned that a half-truth was often far more effective than an outright denial in allaying suspicions, he said, with equal nonchalance, "As it happens, we were talking of you Catnn was taking me to task for having forgotten your birthday " "Oh," Joanna said, much relieved She was not sure what she'd feared, for even had Catherine repeated verbatim every one of their conversations this month past, would that have been so dreadful, after all? Actually, she was glad that Catherine had told him about the missed hrthday, she wanted him to know "I expect it's best that you find out the truth about me early on " Llewelyn's smile was wry "You see, love, I do have an appalling mem-
230 1 ory for dates, be they birthdays, name days, saints' days, whateve Tangwystl finally resorted to laying out tally sticks in our bedchambe to remind me of the days remaining until her birthday. And my chi](jre' do take no chances, talk of nothing else for fully a month beforehand " "Alas, and I thought you were without flaw," Joanna said lightlv She was suddenly very happy. They'd often sat and talked, but thi conversation was somehow different; Llewelyn was somehow different She could not have articulated the change, knew only that there was an intimacy between them that she'd never felt before. "I take it I'm forgiven? I should like to make amends, though, so you may ask of me what you will." "Anything? Anything at all?" "Well, anything within reason," Llewelyn hedged, but then laughed, realizing she was teasing. Joanna laughed, too. "I shall have to give it some thought. An opportunity such as this is not to be wasted, must be . . ." And then her eyes fell upon the letter in her lap. Very much in earnest now, she put a hand imploringly upon his arm. "Did you truly mean it, Llewelyn? For there is something I do want, more than you could ever know. My father wrote that he e
xpects to land at Portsmouth within the fortnight. I've not seen him for nigh on seven months, and . . . and it would mean so much to me to be there on the docks, waiting for him. May I, Llewelyn? May I go home for a visit?" She did not, Llewelyn saw, even catch her slip of the tongue, the use of "home." Catrin had been right; he'd not done all he could for the lass. "Of course you may go to Portsmouth, Joanna, if that be your wish." "Thank you, oh, thank you!" For a moment he thought she was about to fling her arms around him; she made an indecisive movement, and then jumped to her feet. "May I go now? Today? It'll take a week to reach London, after all, and I know not when he's sailing. I could stay with my Aunt Ela, and we could travel together to Portsmouth. And .. and if you'd not mind, I could remain for Papa's Christmas court?" "I'd not mind in the least. What could be more natural than that you'd miss your father, your family? Now, if you truly want to depart this noon, you'd best set your maids to packing. Meanwhile, I'll see about getting you a proper escort." Joanna had begun to thank him again, and he rose, put his arm around her waist. "Why do you not," he suggested, "ask Catrin to help you pack? You did look rather . . . taken aback at sight of her earlier, and I'm sure you'd not want her to think she'd somehow displeased you. She's a good friend, Joanna; they do come no better. You need never fear that she'd betray a confidence, share your secrets."
233 "Was I so obvious as that7" Joanna asked softly, and Llewelyn ndded, gave her waist a gentle squeeze n "go you admit, then, that you have secrets from me7" he mured and Joanna's eyes widened On the surface, it could have sed for his usual banter, but the undercurrent earned an altogether H fferent message He was, she thought in utterly amazed delight, flirtmg with her "That," she said impishly, "is for me to know and you to find out " Llewelyn burst out laughing, more than a little intrigued It was a child's answer, the sort of flippancy that any of his daughters might have uttered, but there was nothing at all childlike in the look she gave him, a look impossible to misread, for he'd had it from too many women in the past not to recognize it on sight for what it wasan invitation to further intimacies BLANCHE was even more excited than Joanna at the prospect of returning to England, and she completed the packing in record if disordered haste Within the hour, Joanna found herself out in the bailey, watching as her coffers were loaded onto pack horses Enid came forward, made a quick curtsy, and retreated as if she feared Joanna might change her mind, make her accompany them to the English King's court, after all But Joanna merely smiled, and then startled Enid by giving her an utterly inappropriate hug Embracing Catherine next, she waited until Sugar was safely settled into her traveling basket, and then moved toward Llewelyn He was standing with her seneschal, turned at her approach 'Dylan and I have just been determining your route You'll be ferried across the strait at Abermenai, Dylan will swim the horses across Ordinarily, I'd have you pass the night with the monks at Aberconwy, but you're getting a late start, and I'd as soon you crossed Penmaenmawr in full light So you'd best halt at Aber tonight " He drew her away from the others then, put something into her hand "Here, this is a gift for your father I had it looped upon a chain so you could wear it around your neck, for safety's sake " It was, Joanna saw, a square-cut ruby ring, set in heavy gold "I shall present it to Papa with your compliments," she promised, and LleWelyn shook his head "No, Joanna I've arranged for a falcon from Ramsey Island as my ^evv Year's gift This will be from you, and you alone " He smiled, for e nng had been taken in one of his grandfather's wars with the En- °1Sn/ and it amused him to think of the English King wearing booty tr°m a border raid
232 Joanna was staring down at the ring. Her father had a passion f jewels, but she had never before been able to indulge that passion t give him a gift so sure to please. "How generous you are, how good t me," she said, and reached up, kissed him quickly upon the cheek. On impulse, Llewelyn stepped closer, took her in his arms. CurioUs as to what her response would be, he bent his head, touched his lins [ hers.He was half expecting her to recoil,as she hadatRhaeadr Eywnnol but he was, just as Catherine had predicted, very agreeably surprised Far from shrinking back, Joanna at once put her arms around his neck He tightened his hold; there was a fluid feel to her body, as if she'd flowed into his embrace, so yielding was she, so softly supple and pliant, so utterly unlike the girl who'd once gone rigid at his lightest touch. Her breath was sweet, her mouth opening under his like a flower. When he probed it with his tongue, she clung all the closer, showed herself to be a quick study responding with timid tongueflickerings of her own. It was, for a kiss born of curiosity, one that offered infinite and unexpected promise for the future, and it was with genuine regret that Llewelyn released her, ended their embrace. He'd noted before that Joanna had unusually beautiful eyes; they changed with the light, her mood, reflected color like crystal, hazel brown to gold-flecked emerald within the span of seconds. They were very green now, a misty, glowing green, wide with wonderment. She was quite flushed, was running the tip of her tongue over her lips, as if she were still savoring his kiss, and Llewelyn suddenly laughed. Was this how Eve had looked upon first tasting the forbidden fruit? "Do not," he said, "be gone too long." 19 PORTSMOUTH, ENGLAND Dtumba 1206 «i H -LJ.OW long must we wait, my lady? I'm s° cold, am like to catch my death if we . . ." But Joanna was not listening to Blanche, for she'd caught sight ot
233 father He had emerged from the sheltering tent, was watching as lors secured their moorings Beside him, Joanna recognized Peter des c hes, Bishop of Winchester, one of the few churchmen her father med inclined to trust Isabelle was now out on deck, too, looking probably beautiful in a hooded mantle of silvery fox fur, cuddling a mall dog that might have been Sugar's twin Joanna could wait no I nger' pusned her way to the forefront of the small crowd assembled upon the dock John was halfway down the gangplank when he saw Joanna He paused, then smiled, kept his eyes upon her all the while the city fathers bade him welcome As the wind was biting enough to curb even the most effusive of tongues, the official greetings were mercifully brief, and within moments Joanna was curtsying before her father He raised her up, then drew her to him in a warm, enveloping hug "I could ask for no more agreeable surprise than this But how did you manage it, lass7 You are not a runaway wife, are you7" His banter did not nng altogether true, for all that it was playfully posed, the question articulated a genuine concern What did Papa fear that she was unhappy as Llewelyn's wife7 Or that her unhappmess might jeopardize his alliance with Llewelyn7 Probably both, Joanna acknowledged, but without resentment Papa would be counting up political gams and losses even upon his deathbed So, she suspected, would Llewelyn "You need not worry, Papa," she said, and smiled at him "I have a very indulgent husband " "WILL you be coming to me tonight, John7" Isabelle's ladies were preparing her for bed, and she was clad only m her chemise, her hair loose and flowing down her back A lovely child, she was maturing into a breathtaking woman, John never tired of looking at her, had yet to tire of sleeping with her Crossing the chamber, he drew her to him, into a possessive embrace "Does that answer your question7 But it'll not be till late, so you need not wait up for me 11 wake you " He kissed her again, then turned toward Joanna "How about a kiss from you, too, sweetheart7" he said, and Joanna mi'ed, came quickly into his arms Stepping back, he looked for a long foment into her face, and she thought he meant to ask for assurance ut he did not, and she wondered why, was it that since he could not ange what was writ, he'd rather not know if the price had been too high? Isabelle was dismissing her ladies "That will be all The Lady anr>a can see to my needs " As soon as they were alone, she beckoned
234 Joanna toward the bed. "Well? Are you not going to tell me ab Llewelyn?" Ut Joanna nodded. "Yes," she said slowly, "I am." She'd given jf great deal of thought in the last fortnight, had concluded that she had n choice but to confide in Isabelle. She was not blind to the risk; Isabel] was not the most reliable of confidantes. Yet there was no one else. For time she'd considered her Aunt Ela, for Ela was a pious, earnest woman who'd go to her grave before she'd betray a trust. And like Joanna and Isabell
e, Ela had been married very young, to a man much older than she. But there'd never been true intimacy between them; no matter how she tried, Joanna could not envision herself discussing so sensitive a subject with Ela. Nor did she think Ela was a likely source for the sort of advice she needed; Ela was too passive, too docile, too . . . good. Ela would not understand. But Isabelle would. That Joanna never doubted "I do need your counsel, Isabelle. Things are not right between Llewelyn and me, not as they should be. But ere I say one blessed word, you must swear to keep secret whatever I do tell you, swear upon your very soul." "That is insulting, Joanna. Think you that I cannot keep a secret?" Joanna merely looked at her in significant silence, and Isabelle yielded, said reluctantly, "Very well, I do so swear. You surprise me, though. I was so sure you'd take to Llewelyn ..." "I did that, in truth," Joanna said ruefully. "I love him, Isabelle. I did not want to, but I do. And now I'm frightened . . . because for the first time I think he's starting to see me as a woman. I want so much to believe that, but if I'm wrong ... I do not think I could bear it. I'm afraid to go back, afraid to find out. And I'm afraid, too, that when I do, I'll say or do the wrong thing, that I'll" "Joanna, I want to help, I truly do. But I know not what you're talking about. If you love him, what then, is the problem?" "That he's not yet taken me to bed," Joanna said, before she could lose her nerve. Isabelle's brows rose. "Why not?" "I think . . . think I'm not to his liking, not the way a man wants a woman." Isabelle did not make the conventional polite denial. For several moments, she said nothing, and then she shook her head. "That's not likely, Joanna. I grant you your coloring is unfortunate. But no man thinks of such matters in bed. Now if you were rail-slat thin or partridge plump . . . but you're not, have high breasts, a waist a man could span with his hands" She broke off, began to laugh. "I sound as if I/rn tallying up the finer points of a filly I hope to sellfifteen hands high/ with a gait smooth as silk!"
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