by Emma Louise
“It is what it is, Asa.” I sigh. “I got over it a long time ago.”
“Is that why you reacted to me the way you did that morning?” he asks quietly, his beautiful eyes holding steady on my face. “You thought because I worked in some seedy bar, I might be like them?”
“No,” I say on a wry laugh. “I was a straight-up idiot that morning. If anyone knows how to spot a bad guy from a mile away, it’s me. I spent enough of my childhood hiding from them.” Drawing in a deep breath, I lay it out for him. I’ve got nothing to lose. Whatever could have been between us is gone, I made sure of that, but I want him to know why I said what I did.
“I said those things because I was terrified. Those few days with you were ... incredible. And when I had to process it, I couldn’t stop thinking there was no way a guy like you, who looked like you, could really want to be with me.” Turning in my seat so I’m facing Asa, I keep laying it out for him. With the way things have been between us in the past, who knows if I’ll get the chance to tell him again. “You know something? I’ve been cheated on and dumped by every single guy I've ever been with. How pathetic is that?” I huff out a self-deprecating laugh.
“It’s not pathetic,” Asa says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me into the warmth of his chest. “You thought you’d get in there first? Cut ties with me before they could be cut for you. I get it.”
“I was looking for an excuse. But as soon as I said those words to Rina, I knew I was being a bitch,” I say into the fabric of his shirt, not ready to push away from him. The warmth radiating from him is too intoxicating.
“I really wish you’d stayed and listened to the rest of that phone call.” I know it’s a pointless wish. He didn’t, and now here we are. A wedge driven between us that we won’t ever be able to overcome.
He’s silent for a long while, and right when I think he’s not going to reply, he whispers softly against my hair,
“Me too, Sweet cheeks. Me too.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
ASA
“What the fuck is wrong with you today?” Tyler, my business partner here at Ink, asks as he drops a fresh cup of coffee down on the desk in front of me.
“Nothing,” I grunt, taking a big gulp of the lukewarm drink. “Where the fuck did you get this?”
“He got it from the coffee shop down the street,” our receptionist, Nancy, announces as she barges in to my office unannounced. “And it’s cold because he spent so long trying to get into the barista’s pants again.”
“Careful there. You’re letting your jealousy show,” Tyler fires back, gaining himself a death stare from Nancy.
“You wish,” she rebuts.
“Alright, kids. That’s enough from you two.” They’ve only been working together for a few weeks, but these two have been at each other's throats since day one. “What did you need?” I ask Nancy, hoping she’ll get on with it and get the hell out of my office.
“I was just about to run down to the deli on the corner for some lunch. Did you want me to get you anything?” She plants a hand on my desk, leaning forward to give me a view straight down her shirt. Yet again, she’s not wearing a bra.
“I’m good. I have plans for lunch already,” I clip, making it clear there’s no need for her to answer further. Of course, she doesn’t pay any attention to me.
“Really? There’s nothing on your schedule for this afternoon...” She trails off, waiting for me to answer.
“Was there something else you needed?” I ask instead of answering her unasked question.
“No,” she stutters out, seemingly surprised that I’m not fawning over her. “I’ll see you later, then.” She turns to leave, giving me a saccharine sweet smile as she goes.
“You regret hiring her yet?” Tyler asks once she’s gone, a stupid smug smile on his face.
“Shut up, dickhead.”
“I told you she was going to be a nightmare, but you couldn’t see past the big tits she kept shoving in your face, right?” He keeps on at me. He’s not exactly wrong, and that just pisses me off. He must be able to tell by the look on my face because he goes back to bugging me with his original question. “You wanna tell me why you’re acting like a bear with a sore head today? Or for the last two weeks, actually?”
“I have no idea what you mean,” I say without looking up from the computer screen. I do know. Ever since that night at my house, I haven’t been able to get Lucy off my mind. I find myself wondering what she’s doing at any given time. Is the baby okay? Is she okay? Is she eating? Is she sleeping okay?
The feeling of worry that sits in my gut all the damn time will not go away. I’ve spoken to her on the phone a few times, and I check in with her daily by text, but it’s not enough. I’m not doing enough.
“Dude, I don’t have the patience to deal with your shit today. Spit it out already.” Tyler presses, and the fucker looks like he’s getting comfortable, waiting for me to talk to him. Tyler is my best friend and has been since high school. We talked about starting up a tattoo business together for as long as I can remember, but he wanted to travel first. He spent the last few years working his way around some of the best studios in Europe. I was happy enough to stay here, killing time working in another tattoo studio downtown and working security at Fuzzy’s while I waited for him to get home. So far, it’s just Tyler and me here full-time, a part-time piercer, and Nancy. If we keep taking bookings like we are, I think we’ll be able to take on at least two more artists soon.
He’s been back a year, and it’s taken us that long to get Inkcognito up and running. We found the perfect building here, but the place was a wreck. The refurb took much longer than we would have liked, but the place is perfect now.
I’m not sure why, but I haven't told him about what’s going on with Lucy yet. Pushing a hand through my hair, I decide to get it over with. “Remember that night a few months ago that I picked up a shift on the door at Fuzzy’s? The last minute one?”
“The last time you were there, yeah?”
“I met someone.” Tyler sits back in his seat, a look of confusion on his face.
“Okay?” he asks when I say no more.
“We had a pretty wild weekend—”
“Weekend?” he interrupts. “Shit, she must have been good if you went back for seconds.” He laughs.
“She was better than good.” I regret telling him as soon as the words are out, but it’s too late to take them back, so I just keep talking. “Shit went down, and I thought we were done, but...” I sigh, letting the words trail off.
“But?” he prompts.
“She’s pregnant.”
“Holy shit,” he breathes out in disbelief.
“Holy shit indeed,” I agree.
Tyler sits in stunned silence as I give him a brief rundown on everything that’s happened over the last few weeks. The cheeky fuck busts out laughing when I'm done.
“Thanks for the support, asshole,” I mutter quietly, pushing back from the desk and getting ready to leave. Lucy has a doctor’s appointment, and I’m meeting her there in fifteen minutes. It’s the first time I’ve seen her in almost two weeks, and I’m counting down the minutes until I can see her.
“See you later, Daddy!” he yells as I leave the room. I don’t answer. I just flick him the bird over my shoulder.
***
“You didn’t need to be here. They’re just checking me out. We won't see the baby today,” Lucy tells me for the third time as we sit in the packed waiting room.
“You didn’t tell me you were sick for weeks. I’m here so the doc can tell me you’re okay.”
“You’re a pain in my ass; you know that, right?” She slumps down in the chair, crossing her arms over her chest in annoyance.
"Why are you mad at me?” I ask, leaning closer to her so the people around us don’t hear us bickering. Lucy’s head turns toward me before I get a chance to move back. Our faces are just a few inches apart. This close up, I can smell the vanilla shampoo sh
e uses. My cock twitches as the scent triggers a memory. Us on our knees in her bed, me behind her and buried impossibly deep. My face in her neck, her hair a wild tangle around us.
I don’t miss the way her gold-fqlecked eyes widen at our close proximity. “I’m not mad at you,” she whispers. Her eyes dart down to my mouth then back up again to meet my stare.
The urge to press a kiss against her lips is almost unbearable. I need to know if she tastes as sweet as my memories tell me she does. “Luce...” I murmur, leaning in at the same time her body sways closer to mine.
“Lucy Phillips?” The nurse’s chipper voice calling us back slices through the moment, severing the connection. Climbing to my feet, I hold out my hand to help Lucy get to her feet. “Come on. Let’s go get you two checked out.”
She stares at me a minute, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. That and the faint blush still on her cheeks does nothing to dampen this attraction I feel for her. The one that’s ridiculously inappropriate for me to be feeling right now.
The one I’m getting pretty fucking tired of fighting.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
LUCY
“I can’t believe you’re actually leaving.” I pout, folding the shirt in my hands and adding it to the pile to be packed away.
“I know you’ll miss me, sugar, but it’s only California,” Hayden shouts from inside the closet he’s currently packing up.
“Do you know how many miles that is?”
“Do you?” he calls back, sounding like he’s fighting back laughter.
“I know it’s not Savannah, and that’s all that matters,” I mutter.
“Hey,” he says softly, appearing at my side. “Doesn’t matter if I’m next door, in the next town over, or in another country. I’m still your best friend,” he tells me as he sits next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and squeezing lightly.
“Don’t let Poppy hear you say that,” I say, nudging my shoulder into his.
“I heard it!” Poppy yells from somewhere else in the house, where the rest of my friends are in the process of helping pack all of Hayden’s things.
“She’s got Elliott. I called dibs on you.” That gets a smile from me. I’m going to miss this guy. I don’t know how it happened, but somewhere along the way he became one of my best friends in the world. I know this move will be good for him. He’s a firefighter and has been offered a promotion at a fire department in California.
“You know you can come and see me anytime you want to, right? And I’ll be back when you have the baby. I promise.”
“It’s not the same. Who’s going to sit with me when everyone goes out, and I'm the only one without a boyfriend?” Out of all our friends, Hayden and I are the only singletons, so we often end up stuck together while all the others are busy being loved up.
“From what I hear that’s not going to be an issue for long,” he drawls. I cock my elbow back and jam it in his ribs, causing him to huff out a pained laugh.
“Don’t you start. I’ve had enough of the girls getting on my ass about this. There is nothing going on with Asa and me.” He’s stayed in contact, but apart from the appointment with the doctor, I haven’t seen him in weeks. I don’t say that part out loud, knowing I’ll sound too needy if I do.
“Whatever you say, sugar,” he drawls sarcastically before he goes back to packing up his closet.
“I’m serious. Whatever there might have been between us is long gone. We have to be in each other's lives now, but if there was no baby, Asa wouldn’t look at me twice.”
“And what about you? How do you feel about him if there was no baby?”
My mind goes back to that weekend. The mere hours I spent with him. I was happy. And not just a sex-glow kind of happy. I felt wanted. Like he liked me.
How would I feel if there wasn’t a baby tying us together? I’d want him, regardless. I do want him. But he doesn’t feel the same, and I’m not willing to process how much that hurts. I can’t let those feelings in, not right now at least. I need our friendship to be strong, so we can do what’s best for our child.
My silence is enough of an answer for Hayden. “You know not all men are like Scott, right?” he asks quietly when I don’t speak, misunderstanding the reason for my silence. “I know I’m probably the last person you should be taking relationship advice from,” he says quietly, and the serious edge to his voice grips my attention. Hayden is the joker of the group, rarely taking anything seriously. “If he’s what you want, go for it. Don’t get in the way of your own happiness.”
If only it was that easy. There’s just too much on the line for me to even contemplate what he’s saying right now.
“Enough of the heavy stuff. Tell me what happened at the doc yesterday,” Hayden says when it becomes obvious that I’m not going to get into this with him. It’s his last few hours here, and I’m not wasting it talking about my problems.
“Everything looks good.” I follow behind him and pick up the things he misses in each drawer he empties. “I’m gaining enough weight, even though the sickness hasn’t really gotten any better. We get to find out the gender in a couple of weeks. Yet another thing you’re going to miss.”
“That’s okay. I’ll get one of the guys to FaceTime me when you do the reveal. I already put my money on it being a boy, though. I see a little baby Hayden in your future.” He laughs loudly. The image of a little boy fills my mind. I can see him running around, dark hair, dark eyes. A miniature version of his dad.
***
“Time for me to hit the road,” Hayden announces a short time later, and I’m hit by a strong wave of emotion as tears fill my eyes. I can’t even blame it on the pregnancy hormones this time. I’m just sad that I'm losing Hayden.
We all watch quietly as Hayden locks up his rental house for the last time. One by one, everyone says their goodbyes. Keir and TJ get handshakes and backslaps. There are kisses for Poppy, Elliott, and Breeze.
He makes his way to me, wrapping me up in his strong arms. I bury my face in the familiar warmth of his chest for as long as I can. “Gonna miss you, sugar,” he murmurs against my hair.
“Just make sure you come back. No falling in love with a Cali girl, you hear me?” I try to joke through my tears.
“Me? Come on now, sugar. We both know I’m not the settling down type,” Hayden scoffs, with a huge grin on his face. He’s so full of it. Hayden Flynn has the biggest heart of anyone I know, and when he finally decides to give it to just one woman, she’s going to be the luckiest girl alive.
The kids all get turns being thrown in the air by their favourite Uncle Hayden. When it’s Duke’s turn to say goodbye, there’s hardly a dry eye to be seen. The two men embrace for a long time, both saying things that are not for the rest of us to hear. Before they separate from each other, they do that weird guy thing and give each other loud backslaps.
Once the inevitable has been delayed as long as possible, everyone gathers around as Hayden pulls on his leather jacket and grabs his helmet.
“You be a good boy for your mama, you hear me?” Hayden leans down and talks directly to my small bump. “Save all the trouble for your daddy instead,” he finishes, causing us all to bust out laughing. It’s just the thing we needed to cut through the sadness that has hung over us all day as we’ve helped him pack up his life. Standing up, Hayden pulls me in for one last hug. “Be happy, yeah? Whatever it takes.” Looking over my shoulder, he gives a nod to someone behind me.
Turning around, I’m shocked to find Asa is here. He’s leaning against his car, arms crossed over his chest, eyes on the scene in front of him. I can’t get a read on him at all; his face is completely closed off. It’s not something I’m used to because he’s usually easy to read.
Hayden climbs on his bike and starts the engine, throwing his hand up in a wave as he glides down the driveway. He slows the bike down as he approaches where Asa stands, stopping to speak to him. With the distance between us and the loud rumble of his Harley, there's no wa
y any of us can hear what’s being said between them. Whatever it is, it’s quick because Hayden is revving the engine and flying off down the road within a minute.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as I approach Asa. He finally drops the blank look that I find so unsettling, a smile forming on his lips. The sight of it eases the sudden tension that has gripped me.
“Thought you could use a distraction,” he says, reaching out to run his finger down the bare skin of my arm. The skin on skin contact sets off a riot of butterflies in my stomach.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
ASA
“The last time I got in a car with you, it was an ambush,” Lucy says, turning in her seat as far as she can so she’s facing me. I don’t think she even realizes she does it, but I've noticed she’s done it a few times now.
“No ambush this time, sweet cheeks.” I drive toward the small deli on the other side of town that Bree told me was Lucy’s favorite place to eat. “How have you been feeling?” I ask.
“Nothing has changed since you texted me this morning. Or since you called me last night,” she says on an eye-roll.
“Just humor me, please?” I ask, giving her my best puppy dog eyes. I know she always tells me she’s alright when I ask, but it’s not the same as seeing her in the flesh and hearing her say the words to my face.
“I’m okay,” she relents. “The nausea is definitely better now that I’m well out of the first trimester, but the tiredness is still a killer.” I believe her. She looks amazing. Her hair is down, hanging in loose, shiny waves past her shoulders. She looks like she’s gained some of the weight back that she lost too. The summer dress she has on skims over her curves perfectly, showcasing the bump that’s grown since I saw her last. My hands itch to reach out and feel it.
“Are you sure you’re not doing too much?” I ask, concerned that working full-time is too much for her. Every part of me cries out to take care of her and my baby, but I have no idea how to tackle that subject with her.
