by Peter Handke
XXIV
The spot shines on Kaspar. It is obvious that his jacket does not match his pants, either in color or in style. Kaspar just stands there. A table is a true table when the picture of the table coincides with the table: it is not yet a genuine table if the picture of the table alone coincides with the table whereas the picture of the table and chair together do not coincide with the table and chair. The table is not yet a true, actual, genuine, right, correct, orderly, normal, pretty, even prettier, spectacularly beautiful table if you yourself do not fit the table. If the table is already a picture of a table, you cannot change it: if you can’t change the table, you must change yourself: you must become a picture of yourself just as you must make the table into a picture of a table and every possible sentence into a picture of a possible sentence.
XXV
Kaspar puts the stage in order. While the spotlight follows him and everything he does, he moves from one object to the other and corrects whatever harm he has done to it. Moreover, he puts the objects into their normal relationships toward each other, so that the stage gradually begins to look inhabitable. Kaspar creates his own (three) walls for himself. His actions are accompanied by sentences from the prompters. At first these sentences are adjusted to Kaspar’s movements, until Kaspar’s movements gradually begin to adjust to the movement of the sentences. The sentences clarify events on the stage, of course without describing them. There is a choice among the following sentences.
Each of his steps and movements is something new to which the spotlight calls attention. Occasionally he accompanies his actions with sentences. Every interruption of the action produces an interruption of the sentence. Every repetition of an action produces a repetition of the sentence. As he nears the completion of his task, his actions more and more obey the sentences of the prompters, whereas in the beginning the prompters’ sentences adjusted themselves to his actions. First of all, Kaspar rights the chair on which he had been sitting, saying, for example: I am righting the chair and the chair is standing. He goes to the second chair and raises it, this time with one hand. The spot shines on the hand, which holds on to a vertical rod on the backrest: I am putting up the second chair: I can count. The first chair has two rods. The second chair has three rods: I can compare. He squats down behind the chair and embraces the rods with both hands. He shakes them: everything that is barred with rods is a chair. One rod breaks in half. He quickly puts the two halfs together again: Everything that breaks is only a rod in a chair. Everything that can be covered up is only a rod in a chair. He walks to the large table. This time, before he kneels down, he pulls his pants up over his knees: I pull my pants up over my knees so they won’t get dirty. He quickly picks up what had fallen out of the drawer: Everything that cuts is only a table knife. Everything that lies face up is a playing card. He tries picking up a match with his whole hand. He fails. He tries with two fingers and succeeds: Everything I can’t pick up with my whole hand is a match. He quietly pushes the drawer into the table. He still has the match in his hand. He sees another match on the floor. He picks it up, whereupon the match in his hand drops. He picks it up, whereupon the second match falls out of his hand (the movements are very precise, the spot follows). For the first time he uses his other hand to pick up the match. He holds the two matches in his two fists. He no longer has a hand free to open the drawer. He stands before the drawer. Finally he gives the match from one hand to the other hand: I can hold one hand free. Everything that can move freely is a hand. He opens the drawer wide, with one hand. He puts the matches in the drawer, pushing the drawer shut with the other hand, whereupon the first hand gets caught in the drawer. He pulls on the caught hand while pushing in with the other hand, exerting himself more and more in both endeavors. Finally he is able to free his hand with one violent pull while the other hand, with one violent push, pushes in the drawer. He does not rub his hand but moves on immediately, righting the rocking chair, which had fallen near the table, almost in one movement with the bang of the drawer as it is shut. Immediafely afterward he leans the broom against the wall. Almost before the audience has time to realize it, he is kneeling before the three-legged able replacing the leg, all his movements being rapidly followed by the spotlight. As he moves, he says, also very rapidly: Everything that bangs is only a table drawer: everything that burns is only a chapped lip: everything that puts up resistance is only a fallen broom: everything that gets in the way is only a snowdrift: everything that rocks is only a rocking horse: everything that dangles is only a punching ball: everything that can’t move is only a closet door. In the meantime he has marched to the closet door and banged it shut. But it won’t stay shut. He slams it shut again. It slowly opens again. He pushes it shut. As soon as he lets go of it, it opens up again: Everything that doesn’t close is a closet door. Everything that frightens me is only a closet door. Everything that hits me in the face is only a closet door. Everything that bites me is only a closet door. (Each of these sentences coincides with Kaspar’s attempts to slam or push the door shut.) Finally he leaves the closet open. He goes to the sofa, puts it back in order, at the same time shoving it completely n stage. The spotlight precedes him, designating the place where the sofa should stand. Two other spots precede him, showing where the two chairs should stand. He puts the chairs there. (The spotlights are of different colors.) Another spot designates the place for the rocking chair. He follows it and places the rocking chair in its appointed spot. Another light already indicates the place for the little table. He puts it there. Another spot appears, designating the appropriate place for broom and shovel. He wants to put them there but the spot moves on and he follows it. It goes backstage and he follows it there with shovel and broom in hand. The spot returns without him and is already fixed on a place on the stage when Kaspar returns. In his arms he holds a large vase with flowers. He puts the vase in the designated place. Another spot indicates a place on the little table. Kaspar leaves the stage and returns with a plateful of decorative fruit. He puts it on the little table. Another spot designates an empty place in the corner of the stage. He leaves the stage and returns with a small stool. He puts it in its appointed place. Another spot indicates an empty area on the backdrop. He gives a sign to the tage-rigging loft and a painting is lowered onto the empty area. (What the painting represents is of no importance as long as it goes with the furnishings.) Kaspar irects it until it hangs perfectly. He stands there. Another spot walks ahead of him to the open closet. It lights up the clothes. Kaspar goes to the closet. Quickly he takes off his jacket, but finds no place to put it. The spotlight goes backstage and he follows it with the jacket over his arm. He returns with a clothes tree and hangs the jacket up on it. He walks to the loset and picks out another jacket, puts it on, buttons it. He stands there. He takes off his hat. He hangs the hat up on the clothes tree. The stage becomes increasingly more colorful. He has now begun to move in rhythm to the sentences from the prompters. A continuous sound has set in softly. It now becomes louder. It is apparent that the jacket goes with the pants and the other objects. Everything on stage goes with verything else. For a moment Kaspar looks Like a dummy at an interior-decoration exhibition. Only the open closet disrupts the harmony of the picture. The continuous tone becomes even louder. Kaspar stands there and lets people look him over. The stage is festively lit. Everyone is born with a wealth of talents.
Everyone is responsible for his own progress.
Everything that does harm is made harmless.
Everyone puts himself at the service of the cause. Everyone says yes to himself.
Work develops an awareness of duty in everyone.
Each new order creates disorder.
Everyone feels responsible for the smallest mote of dust on the floor.
Whoever possesses nothing replaces his poverty with work.
All suffering is natural.
Every working man must be given leisure time in accordance with his need to replenish the energy expended while working.
&nb
sp; Everyone must build his own world.
Example is a lesson that all men can read.
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
Good order is the foundation of all things.
A fanatical desire for order does not have to lead to a coup d’etat.
Every step extends one’s perspective.
That table is a meeting place.
The room informs you about its inhabitant.
An apartment is a prerequisite for an orderly life.
Flowers should stand there as though they had a common center.
Don’t stand if you can sit.
Bending down expends more energy than anything else.
A burden is lighter the closer it is held to the body.
Put only things you don’t use often into the top shelves.
Saving means saving energy.
Balance the weight on both arms.
The table won’t run away from you.
Always take a fresh look at your work.
Only if you’re healthy can you achieve a lot.
Disorder outrages all decent thinking men.
One of the most beautiful things in life is a well-set table.
The furnishings should complement you.
Apportion your time correctly.
A place for everything and everything in its place.
Happy are those who have steered a middle course.
Nothing is given to you in life.
The fingernails are a special index of order and cleanliness.
Suggest with a friendly smile that you like your work.
What has always been the way you find it, you won’t be able to change at once.
Everyone must be able to do everything.
Everyone should be completely absorbed in his work.
Everything that appears to harm you is only in your best interest.
You should feel responsible for the furniture.
Sweep the floor in the direction of the boards.
When you clink glasses, they should ring clearly.
Every step must become completely natural to you.
You must be able to act independently.
Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth.
The merit of originality is not novelty; it is sincerity.
The golden rule in life is moderation in all things.
There’s nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.
A bad beginning makes a bad ending.
Circumstances are beyond the control of man; but his conduct is in his own hands.
In an orderly room the soul also becomes orderly.
Every object you see for the second time you can already call your own
The relativeness of means is your basic principle.
Running water does not become stagnant.
A room should be like a picture book.
Sitting all your life is unhealthy.
A room should have a timeless character.
You must show confidence in your work.
There are no woodworms in the door hinges.
You must be able to be proud of what you have achieved.
Your well-being is determined by your achievement.
The floor makes a decisive difference in the overall impression of the room.
What matters is to be with it.
Doors lock, but also constitute connections to the outside world.
The objects must supplement your image.
All work is what you make of it.
The order should not be a soul-less order.
You are what you have.
Living in a dark room only brings necessary thoughts.
The order of the objects creates all
prerequisites for happiness.
What is a nightmare in the dark is joyous certainty in the light.
Every order eventually looses its terror.
You’re not in the world for fun.
XXVI
The light on stage is very gradually extinguished, the tone adjusting itself to the light. Kaspar is speaking as the light goes out. He begins to speak in a deep, well-modulated voice, but raises it as the light and the continuous sound subside. The darker the stage and the softer the tone, the more shrill and ill-sounding Kaspar’s voice becomes. Finally, with the onset of complete darkness and the ceasing of the continuous sound, he is whimpering in the highest registers: Everything that is bright is peaceful: everything that is quiet is peaceful: everything that is in its place is peaceful: everything peaceful is friendly: everything friendly is inhabitable: everything inhabitable is comfortable: everything comfortable is no longer ominous: everything I can name is no longer ominous: everything that is no longer ominous belongs to me: I am at ease with everything that belongs to me: everything I am at ease with strengthens my self-confidence: everything that belongs to me is familiar to me: everything I am familiar with strengthens my self-confidence: everything that is familiar to me lets me breathe a sigh of relief: everything I am familiar with is orderly: everything that is orderly is beautiful: everything that is beautiful is good for my eyes: everything that is good for my eyes is good for me: everything that is good for me makes me good: everything that makes me good makes me good for something. It is now completely dark. As it again becomes bright very gradually, Kaspar begins to speak again, at first with a pleasant-sounding voice, but the brighter it becomes, the higher and shriller his voice gets: Everything that is in order is in order because I say to myself that it is in order, just as everything that lies on the floor is a dead fly because I say to myself that everything that lies on the floor is only a dead fly, just as everything that lies on the floor lies there only for a short while because I say to myself that it lies there only for a short while, just as everything that lies gets up again because I say to myself that it gets up again, just as everything that I say to myself is in order because I say to myself that everything that I say to myself is in order.
The prompters speak while Kaspar is speaking, however without making him incomprehensible, whereas they themselves are only barely comprehensible because they speak too softly, their words overlap, they leave out syllables, reverse the order of the words, or put the wrong emphasis on them. In regular sequence they speak something like the following text: Hit the table. Sat between the chairs. Rolled up the sleeves. Stayed on the floor. Looked behind curtains. Spat into hands. Struck the table. Stayed on the floor. Rolled up sleeves. Sat down between chairs. Sat down at the table together. Struck the table. Sat down in the nettles. Slammed the door. Rolled up sleeves. Struck the chairs. Beaten to a pulp. Struck the table. Sat down in the nettles. Knocked down. Spit in front of feet. Struck between the eyes. Broke the china. Stayed tough. Sat down in the nettles. Knocked out. Beat down the request. Showed the fists. Beaten to a pulp. Struck a low blow. Exterminated from head to toe. Smashed the floor. Spat in front of the feet. Struck between the eyes. Broke the china. Pushed into the nettles. Smashed the table. Struck a low blow. Smashed the communal table. Struck down. Smashed the set. Smashed the door. Struck down the heckler. Stayed tough. Smashed all prejudices.
XXVII
Kaspar is now taught the model sentences with which an orderly person struggles through life. While he was uttering his last sentences, he sat down in the rocking chair. During the following course of instruction he continues to sit in the chair, but begins to rock only gradually. At first he drawls his words, although speaking with intensity, without punctuation marks; then he begins to speak with full stops, finally with hyphens, finally he makes exaggerated sense, and ultimately he utters model sentences. While Kaspar is sitting in the rocking chair, the words the prompters uttered just now, which anticipate the aphorisms, are repeated: now, because Kaspar is silent, they are more comprehensible and become completely comprehensible toward the end, and then turn into the following model sentences: Every sentence helps you along: you get over every object with a sentence: a sentence helps you get over an object when you
can’t really get over it, so that you really get over it: a sentence helps you to get over every other sentence by letting itself take the place of the other sentence: the door has two sides: truth has two sides: if the door had three sides, truth would have three sides: the door has many sides: truth has many sides: the door: the truth: no truth without a door. You beat the dust off your pants: you beat the thought out of your head: if you couldn’t beat the dust off your pants, you couldn’t beat the thought out of your head. You finish speaking: you finish thinking: if you couldn’t finish speaking, you couldn’t say the sentence: I finish thinking. You look again: you think again: if you couldn’t look again, you couldn’t say the sentence: I reflect: if you couldn’t look again, you couldn’t reflect.
The pupil of the eye is round fear is round had the pupil perished fear would have perished but the pupil is there and fear is there if the pupil weren’t honest I couldn’t say fear is honest if the pupil were not permitted fear wouldn’t be permitted no fear without pupil if the pupil weren’t moderate I couldn’t say fear only arises at room temperature fear is less honest than is permitted fear is drenched warm as a hand on the contrary
You are standing. The table is standing. The table is not standing, it was placed there. You are lying. The corpse is lying. The corpse is not lying, it was placed there. If you couldn’t stand and if you couldn’t lie, you couldn’t say: the table is standing, and the corpse is lying: if you couldn’t lie and stand, you couldn’t say: I can neither lie nor stand.
A fat man is true to life cold sweat is commonplace if a fat man weren’t true to life and if his cold sweat weren’t commonplace a fat man couldn’t become afraid and if a fat man couldn’t lie on his stomach I couldn’t say he neither stands up nor can he sing
