“I’m not willing to share you, certainly not with my eldest daughter.”
It was evening when they returned. Jason realized that though they hadn’t achieved an Eden, they had achieved a wonderful existence amid the chaos of the past year. However, he realized that the girls needed a wider world than the farm or the valley. He and Anne would need to find an outside world for them. Someday they would even need to find others to start building their own lives and families; Catherine sooner it seemed. That reality struck Jason like a slap in the face. What would contact with the outside world be like? What had happened in Hillsboro since he left? He didn’t imagine things had improved. This was going to be hard.
Chapter 3
Catherine grew impatient and finally caught Jason alone in the workshop.
“Did you talk with Mom?” she asked while he worked on some storm shutters. “I know you two went off together on that picnic last week. Did you talk with her?”
“Yes we talked about it. It’s an awkward thing, you have to understand. It’s very conflicting for both your mother and me,” Jason replied.
Catherine came up close to Jason as he was speaking. She was wearing a tight tee shirt which she filled out. She pulled Jason close to her in a hug. It was more friendly than affectionate, but as she drew him close, her body pressed to his, her nipples hardened. Her breathing became labored. She could feel Jason harden against her. She instinctively responded with her body, pressing her pelvis and breasts against him, her arms circling him tightly. Both of them were breathing harder now. She tilted her head up and kissed him fully on the mouth. Without thinking, Jason responded with a deep kiss.
Suddenly, he pulled back, not letting go of Catherine, but separating their bodies, “We can’t do this.”
“Yes we can,” she murmured, trying to close their embrace again.
“No, we can’t. This will break the relationship between you and your mother. It will break my relationship with her as well.”
“But you want me. Don’t deny it. I can feel your body.” Catherine’s voice was full of sexual energy.
“But—”
“No buts, I want this, you want this and it’s time.”
“Part of me may want this,” Jason said. This was not going well. Part of him wanted to take her right there on the floor. Her arousal stimulated his body in a way he hadn’t expected. He wanted to ignore, not dwell on the consequences and just take her and satisfy both of their desires. “I can’t. I can’t do this. I made a commitment to Anne.”
“But things are different. You said it. Things may never get back to what they were.”
“Things may not get back to what they were, but I made that commitment to your mother. That commitment is for now, not for before.”
“But Jason, I feel so right about this and…I want you so much. Can’t you feel that?”
“I do, and part of me wants you. Maybe it’s because of what we shared.”
“Then why shouldn’t we do this? It’s part of our special relationship.”
“Because of my commitment to your mom. In our eyes we are married.”
While they were talking Catherine slipped her arms under Jason’ shirt, arousing both of them. Her body demanded a response, demanded satisfaction. This time Jason abruptly broke the embrace. His eyes flashed. Catherine saw the anger in his face.
“Stop it! It’s just about sex. Do you think that I would ignore my relationship with Anne, with you and Sarah, to gratify my desire for you?” Then more gently, as Catherine looked at him in shock, “Look,” he said, “I have to come to terms with the fact that I’m sexually attracted to you. This happens to people, even after they’ve made commitments. And it doesn’t take the extraordinary experiences that we’ve had. But that doesn’t mean they have to act on those desires. It’s the commitments they make to one another that keep them from following those attractions.”
He headed for the door. “Think about this,” he said. He needed to escape from Catherine’s temptations. “Do you want a relationship with someone who’s so unreliable that they would cheat on their wife? Don’t answer now and don’t think this would not be cheating on Anne—your mother.” He turned and left the shed.
Catherine stood in the shop alone. Her face reflected a swirl of emotions: rejection, anger, frustration. She began to cry bitterly.
Anne saw Jason emerge from the shop with an angry look on his face. “Catherine?” she asked. He pointed to the shop and Anne headed there. Inside she found Catherine crying bitterly. Without a word, she went to her daughter and wrapped her in her arms. Catherine initially was stiff and resistant, but Anne would not let her go. Finally Catherine relaxed and began sobbing in her mom’s tight embrace. She disintegrated into a little girl as Anne comforted her.
“He’s so mean!” Catherine cried out. “He just rejected me. I’m so embarrassed. He doesn’t want me!”
After some time, Anne said, “Jason loves you, but he wants to be your father, your friend, not your lover. He made that commitment to me.” She continued after Catherine calmed down, “I understand that you and Jason have a special bond. I know you went through a lot together. That’s unique and precious and should never be diminished. And your desire for a baby is a good one, a healthy one, but it must wait for the right man. Jason is not the right man for you. I am not sorry for that, Catherine. I understand your need, but you have time, time to grow, to heal, to find someone more your age to share life with. It’s not just about having a baby, it’s about making a life together with someone else. You will find that someone else.”
“But there’s no one around!” Catherine turned away from her mother. “And Jason is the one I want. He’s the only one I would want to have my baby.”
“Catherine, I think Jason is the best man we could have in our family. The finest man I could have. But we are a couple now.”
“That’s what he said.”
“It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He’s a man of character,” Anne responded. “Please believe me, you will find someone and I am sure that person better be special, or they will have a hard time with Jason. He loves you so much, only the best man will do.”
Catherine didn’t answer. Her pain remained.
When Anne returned to the house, leaving Catherine in the workshop to gather herself, Jason was packing his gear.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“Hunting.”
“Running away?”
“No. I just think I should be absent for a while, seems like I’ve made a mess of things,” he responded.
“Well, she got the message and the issue is now settled. Catherine has to come to grips with it. I helped her understand that what she is looking for was out of bounds. It’s not going to happen.”
“I should have let you do it from the start,” Jason responded. “I didn’t expect such an encounter.”
“Well, it was going to be a big disappointment for her no matter who handled it—she’ll get over it.”
“I wonder how long that will take?” he said as Sarah came downstairs.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“Hunting. We need meat and I need to be in the woods.”
“I’ll go with you,” Sarah offered. “It could be fun and I’d like to get away.”
Anne looked at Jason. “No,” Jason replied, “I need to spend a little time alone.”
“You’re no fun. I’d really like to go with you.” Jason caught something in Sarah’s tone. She was thinking about more than just a hunting outing.
“Well, sometimes I am just ‘no fun’, like you say. But I need to go alone. Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon, hopefully with some game.” Turning to Anne, “Keep watch and keep your side arms on you at all times. You know the drill. Things seem to be fine, but we should always be cautious.”
“When can we expect you back?” Anne asked.
“I’ll be out two nights. I’m going to go over the ridge to the lake and try for
some ducks or geese. I’m taking the 12 gauge.”
“You’re sure you don’t want some company? I can help with the hunting,” Sarah asked plaintively.
“Sarah, if I wanted a hunting partner I would be happy to take you along, but not this time,” Jason responded with a smile.
He turned to Anne and kissed her quickly, “I should head out now. See you day after tomorrow. Take care of the girls.”
Chapter 4
As Jason made his way through the orchard and into the deeper woods, heading towards the ridge, another pair of eyes besides Anne’s watched him depart. Billy had been sneaking over to the Whitman’s house ever since the battle at the bridge. Seeing Sarah grown up, her body filled out, now more woman than girl, had inflamed his desires. The cuts to her face had only increased his interest, stimulating a mixture of physical desire and protective urge. His mind was assaulted by these two attractions, one sexual, the other caring until he couldn’t distinguish between them. The result was a newly aroused passion that carried an overlay of legitimacy in Billy’s mind. As if he was justified in his lust by his desire to protect. He began to slip away from tending to his dad every chance he got to hike through the fields and spy on the farmhouse, hoping to see Sarah.
Billy was at ease in the woods. The forest was like his back yard. The valley was a very private place to live and he was familiar with it and the surrounding ridges. He knew how to be quiet and to move though the woods without being seen or heard, a skill he developed while working with his pa, tending the still in the woods. Billy was not much of a success in school before the power went out. He didn’t excel at sports and he was shy with the girls. Even out here in the country he stood out as being more redneck than the others, more of a hillbilly, a name he often heard spoken behind his back. But in the woods he felt at home. There he had a sense of mastery over his environment. Old man Turner had been a moonshiner all his life, just like his father and now, it seemed, Billy would be also.
He could see that Jason was woods smart and able move as quietly as he could. He also saw how deadly Jason was, and that scared him. It scared him because Billy’s fantasies about Sarah could incite Jason to attack him.
Sometimes he was watching when the girls came out to bathe in the tub. Thinking they were alone, they would undress in the yard before washing. Billy could then catch glimpses of them naked from afar. Seeing them, especially Sarah, even from a distance aroused him. Now Jason was gone and no one knew Billy was watching. It gave him a feeling of power to spy on the family—they didn’t know he could see them and watch everything they did. And with Jason gone, he could now get closer.
Later Catherine came up to the house. Her face was flushed from crying. They all had a quiet meal and then went upstairs for the night. Sarah, however, remained downstairs, on the couch, with a lamp lit. She relaxed, thinking about how she almost got to go hunting with Jason. It wasn’t the hunting that held her interest, it was the camping. She began to fantasize about sleeping under a lean-to with Jason. He excited her and scared her at the same time. She was attracted to his strong presence. He was forbidden and dangerous territory.
As Sarah ran through her fantasy, she unsnapped the top of her jeans and slipped her hand down under her panties. She began to rub herself. It only took a moment for her arousal to grow. She slid slowly down on the couch, her legs slightly parted and her hips now moving from her stimulation. Her other hand pushed up her shirt and she began rubbing her breasts. Her small nipples stood erect from the stimulation. Her hips moved harder against her hand as her excitement increased. She rolled her head to the side and opened her eyes…and screamed loudly.
There was a face in the window leering at her. The mouth hung open; the eyes were aflame with lust. Hands were pressed to the window, framing the terrible visage. Her scream was loud and full of terror. Anne and Catherine came bounding down the stairs. Catherine had her pistol out and ready.
“What’s going on?” Catherine shouted to Sarah, who was sitting bolt upright on the couch, re-buttoning her jeans. She pointed to the window.
“Someone was looking in the window—a horrible face!” she exclaimed.
Catherine immediately snuffed out the lamp and Anne ran back upstairs to get her 9mm. Catherine cautiously went to the window and looked out; she could see no one.
“Do you know who it was?”
“No…no, wait…it might have been Billy Turner. It scared me so, I can’t be sure.”
“What a creep,” Catherine said in disgust. “Sarah, get your pistol and we’ll go around the house. I want to make sure the doors and windows are locked tight.”
“You’re not going outside, are you?” Sarah asked.
“No, I want to make sure we’re secure from the inside.”
They went through the house and only after satisfying themselves that the main floor was secure, headed back upstairs. Catherine made sure the extra weapons were locked away and each of the women took their rifles upstairs with them. Anne added the 20 gauge pump shotgun as well. For a long time Catherine kept watch out of the second floor window. She thought she saw a shadowy figure moving through the orchard, away from the house but she could not be sure. That night the women slept together in Anne and Jason’s bedroom. Sarah had a hard time getting to sleep; every time she closed her eyes, the leering face pressed against the window flashed in her mind.
Chapter 5
Billy jumped back at Sarah’s scream. He was thoroughly aroused from what he saw but now, in a panic, he scrambled for the cover of the orchard. From there he watched as the dim lamps went out. They would be looking outside for someone now. After calming down, he began to slink away through the dark, back to his own farm. His mind raced with thoughts of Sarah. He had gotten to see her partially naked up close and sexually aroused. She seemed full of sexual desires which he imagined satisfying. His mind churned with fantasies as he made his way back through the dark woods. He was frustrated. If Jason were out of the picture, he would be able to have his way with her. They would all look to him for protection, especially Sarah.
The next day Anne and the girls stayed close to the house. They took turns at the lookout position on the roof, but saw no one. They had pretty much decided that the peeping tom was Billy and, while disdainful of him, they did not dismiss him as an idle threat in this post-EMP era. Catherine was adamant that he could be serious trouble—for them and for Jason. When Jason returned with his ducks the next day, he was set upon by the girls with the story of Billy’s spying. Even Catherine seemed to have set aside the issues that drove him from the house in the face of this new threat. Jason proposed going to the Turner farm to talk with the father. Anne was doubtful and Catherine said it wouldn’t work.
“You saw how he behaved when we met with everyone—before the battle. He’s got a mean streak and doesn’t like you,” Catherine declared emphatically, “And now that he’s injured I’m not sure Billy would listen to him.”
Anne agreed with Catherine’s assessment. Sarah just wanted something done. She knew that what Billy had seen—more than the others realized—could be harmful to her.
“Someone’s got to do something. We can’t just wait until he comes back. We didn’t know that he was spying on us. How many times has he done this and we didn’t know about?” Sarah’s question sent a shudder through Anne and Catherine. The idea of Billy hanging around the house was creepy, and now in these lawless times, who knew what could happen?
“Did you notice the way Billy kept looking at Sarah when they came to the house the morning of the battle?” Catherine asked. “He was staring at her—checking her out. Sarah noticed it. I had to interrupt him.”
“I guess I was preoccupied with other things. I didn’t notice. But what do you want me to do?” Jason asked.
“You should take care of him,” Sarah said.
“What does that mean, ‘take care of him’?” Jason responded.
“I don’t know…”
“Shoot him,” Catherine said
matter-of-factly.
“I can’t just shoot him. You’re asking me to kill him.” He looked hard at Catherine. She looked straight back at him, not giving an inch.
“Why not?” Sarah said. “You’ve killed lots of people.”
“That’s different, and you know it. I was defending us against attackers who wanted to kill us. This kid is a peeping tom, and needs disciplining, not killing. And don’t forget, he fought for the valley and his dad almost gave his life in that fight.”
“I’ll do it then,” Catherine said. She had a dangerous look in her eyes. Everyone turned to stare at her. “Just because he took part in the battle doesn’t give him the right to spy on us…and it didn’t automatically make him a good guy. I’m a good shot, I’ll just wait and shoot him when he goes up to his dad’s still. I can ambush him there.”
“No! I won’t let you do it,” Jason said with all the finality he could bring to his voice.
“What’s the matter? I’ve killed before.”
“But you haven’t murdered,” Jason said.
“I don’t want you doing this. It will harm you,” Anne said. “We’ll find some other way to deal with Billy.”
“I don’t think you will,” Catherine said. Jason wondered if she was taking her hurt out on Billy.
“Look,” he said, “You have let me be a father to you. I couldn’t demand that acceptance. I had to earn it from you girls.” He was looking from Sarah to Catherine; pausing to stare at her to emphasize his point. “But there’s another dimension to our relationship. Along with your step father, I am also your commanding officer.” The girls now looked at him with some surprise. “Yes, we are a family, but we also are a fighting unit, an army of four, and I am the general of this army. You are bringing up a threat to the family which makes this a military matter.” He looked directly at Catherine, “You are under my authority in these matters and I will not allow any insubordination.”
After the Fall (Book 1): Jason's Tale Page 22
