Triple Dip Debacle
by
Constance Barker
Copyright 2015 Constance Barker
All rights reserved.
Similarities to real people, places or events are purely coincidental.
While spring wasn’t in full bloom yet in Caesars Creek, the hyacinth bushes were turning bright yellow, like an awakening after a long winter’s nap. Tulips also sprouted along my sidewalk, in colors of red, yellow and orange. I loved the gentle stirring of spring with its warmer weather. Even the rain showers couldn’t dampen my mood.
Brandon and I were an exclusive item by now. Although I didn’t have a ring on my finger, it was pretty knowledgeable around our small town that we were an item. We spent at least four evenings a week together, either at my house or his apartment. Of course, my little doggie Winchester was our chaperone on most occasions.
The big news of course was Brandon’s sister Stormi and her impending wedding to one of our city’s finest, Officer Greg Manning. Stormi was just like her name implied, a whirlwind that knew no bounds. Greg was the opposite and just what Stormi needed. An anchor to keep her from flying off into parts unknown. The two lovebirds were so cute and I’d never seen Stormi so gaga over a man. Sometimes near closing time at The Frozen Scoop, the two would sit at one of the corner tables and I’d hear Stormi giggle at something Greg said.
Tonight was the same. My friend Paige and her daughter Sam, short for Samantha, were helping me close for the night.
Paige pointed to Stormi and Greg. “Don’t those lovebirds ever get enough of one another? I mean, I like a good romance, but right now I’d like to punch them.”
“Mother,” Sam scolded. “That’s not nice.” Sam turned in the lovebird’s direction with a melancholy look. “I think it’s romantic.”
Paige wiped the top of the ice cream case with a damp dishrag. “Listen girl, don’t get any ideas. You have college in another year so don’t get stars in your eyes. Despite your father’s begging, I made him wait until after we graduated college to get married.”
“Don’t listen to her pumpkin!” Bruce, Paige’s husband snuck up behind her and grabbed her around the waist startling Paige who let out a half scream. She turned and smacked him on the shoulder.
“See what happens when you’re married almost 20 years lovebirds!” Bruce bellowed to Stormi and Greg. “You get smacked instead of kissed….just a friendly warning.”
Stormi waved her hand at Bruce and continued her little huddle with Greg.
Bruce looked at Sammi. “Don’t let your mother fool you Sam…it was her who pleaded for us to get married before graduating.”
Paige took another swipe at Bruce while he continued to laugh. They had a wonderful relationship the two of them. I could only hope that someday Brandon and I would be so lucky. Of course, I was getting ahead of myself. Brandon and I weren’t even engaged. In fact, I wasn’t sure what we were, except dating. We hadn’t talked about a future together. Mainly we went out on dates, sometimes with Stormi and Greg, or I would cook us a meal at home or he would at his place and we’d watch a DVD. I was starting to feel that we might be getting into a rut. Perhaps Brandon was satisfied with the way things were, and I had been for a while. But now I started to feel like maybe Brandon didn’t want things to go any further. I hoped I was wrong, but inside I felt that old familiar pang of uncertainty. Sometimes I felt like I had a bird on each shoulder. One whispering to be patient and the other saying no man wants to marry you. I wanted to swat the sassy bird into oblivion, but I knew he’d always crop up again. I shook my head to get those thoughts out of my brain.
I was in the back of my shoppe mopping the floor, listening to the goings on out front. Right now, I needed to focus on my dear friend Stormi. This was the beginning of the happiest time of her life, the upcoming wedding. I wanted to be there for all the laughs and tears that I knew would follow in the next few months. Planning a wedding is no small ordeal, unless you want to elope. Even small weddings require intricate preparation. However, if I knew Stormi’s mother, there wouldn’t be anything small about this wedding.
Stormi and Brandon’s mother, Miss Dottie Rogers, was a force to be reckoned with. If you thought Stormi was a bulldozer…Dottie was a tank. She could breeze in, pummel you with southern hospitality, and leave bodies in her wake. Now as much as it sounds to the contrary, I love Miss Dottie. I grew up around her, so her abrasive and barnstorming ways aren’t foreign to me. But there are others in town that never quite saw the charm in Dottie’s behavior. One such person was our good friend Trixie. Although Trixie loved Stormi, she never quite got along with her mother. Trixie respected Dotti because she was left with two young children to raise after her husband ran off when Stormi and Brandon were young tikes. But Trixie and Dottie’s personalities clashed so they simply remained polite in that southern kind of way. You know, the bless your heart with a brick.
Dottie Rogers now lived in a suburb of Atlanta. She generally didn’t make it back to Caesars Creek much, preferring to remain close to her friends in her apartment complex. Stormi and Brandon didn’t seem to mind this arrangement either. Yes, they loved their mother, but she was a control freak. It was easier to love her from afar than up close. She talked to her children every week on the phone, but Dottie had not met Greg yet. In fact, Stormi hadn’t told her she was engaged until a few days ago. Now you might wonder why Stormi would keep such good news from her own mother. But Stormi’s defense was that Dottie would take over, and guess what, she was right. Stormi knew she couldn’t hold out any longer in telling her mother of her upcoming wedding so when she did, Dottie decided to clear her schedule and make her way to Caesars Creek to help plan the wedding. She was set to arrive in a few days. Brandon had been avoiding Stormi from the time he heard his mother was coming because he knew she wanted something from him. Unfortunately, for Brandon, he didn’t see Greg and Stormi sitting at the table in the corner of my ice cream shoppe that evening. As soon as Stormi spotted Brandon, she flew out of her chair and cornered him.
“Why haven’t you been returning my calls?” Stormi asked accusingly.
Brandon nervously pushed a hand through his thick dark hair. “What are you talking about?” He asked unconvincingly.
Stormi pointed a finger at his face as Brandon backed against the sidewall. “Don’t you play coy with me little brother. I know exactly why you’ve been avoiding me and I won’t have it.”
“Storm, you’re being ridiculous.” Brandon, you should know by now you’re only stoking the fire.
“Oh really? I’m being ridiculous am I?”
I peeked out the back shoppe door into the store. I thought I saw Brandon gulp.
“I’ve been calling you for the last week. I’ve told Tara to have you call me and I know she did. Don’t even try to tell me she didn’t because I’ll rip your lying lips off your face.”
Wow, she’s really hot. I hadn’t seen her this bad since Brandon put worms in the foot of her bed and she flew out screaming. Of course, we were a lot younger then. At that time she horn swaggled him to the ground and sat on him for 15 minutes. I was wondering if she planned to do the same tonight.
“What’s got you in such a lather?” Brandon asked.
Still pointing her finger Stormi said, “You know good and well why I’m in a state…our mother!”
Brandon still feigning ignorance said, “What about her?”
“She’s coming in a few days and she’s not staying with me. I told her she could stay with you.”
Now Brandon was the o
ne with steam coming out his ears. “You what? How could you do that? You didn’t even ask me!”
“I would have if you would answer your phone and quit avoiding me.”
“She can’t stay with me.”
Stormi put her hands on her hips. “And why not?”
“It’ll be weird.”
Stormi scrunched her nose. “Huh? You lived with her for 20 years. How could it be weird?”
Brandon changed the subject. “Why can’t she stay with you?”
“Because I have enough on my plate without having to deal with her on a constant basis. At least if she’s at your place I can have some peace.”
“What about me?” Brandon asked. “What about my peace?”
Stormi’s eyes blazed and the finger came out again. “You don’t get any peace, you got that!”
Bruce walked up to Stormi and Brandon. “Now come on you two. I’m sure we can work this all out peacefully.”
Stormi turned on Bruce. “Good, she can stay with you and Paige.” I saw the color drain from Paige’s face.
Bruce put up his hands. “You’re on your own Brandon.”
Brandon looked at Bruce as he skulked away. “Coward.”
Poor Brandon, but I couldn’t help but laugh to myself over the whole debacle. Finally, he relented.
“Okay, okay. Just quit pointing that thing in my face.”
Stormi lowered her weapon.
“Good. I honestly don’t think I’m asking for too much. May I remind you of all the times I covered for you during high school when I changed your report card grades or the times you’d sneak out at night.”
Paige looked at Sammi. “Ummm Sam, we can finish up. Go ahead home.”
Sammi shook her head and remained listening to Stormi and Brandon. “That’s okay, I’m enjoying this.”
Paige blanched. “Just don’t get any ideas from those two. They were rotten, rotten kids.”
Stormi finally allowed Brandon to move behind the counter where he was sizing up his getaway to the back of the store.
“Our mother will be arriving in a few days. I will give her your address,” Stormi said as she walked back over to where Greg was sitting. I noticed during the foray that Greg ignored most of it by looking at his cell phone. He already knew how to deal with Stormi’s rages, just ignore them. Easier said when they weren’t directed at you.
Brandon slipped into the back room where I was waiting. I had my hand over my mouth, trying to stifle a laugh.
“Ah yes,” Brandon said. “From afar her temper might not appear dangerous, but up close, it’s terrifying.”
I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I let out a guffaw that I knew they could hear on the other side. I walked over to give Brandon a hug.
“Here, does this make you feel safer?” I asked as I put my arms around him.
“A little,” he said. “But I’ll probably need a few stiff drinks when Momma shows up.”
Half the town will, I thought.
*****
The next few days were a blur. I helped Brandon clean his apartment until it glowed. I could tell he was nervous about his mother staying there and I wanted to make sure everything was in its proper place. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see his mom, but she was overbearing and he was steeling himself against the onslaught to come. I told him that she would be so busy with Stormi and wedding planning that she probably wouldn’t browbeat him too much. That seemed to relax him somewhat.
Then at the Frozen Scoop Ice Cream Shoppe, I would have to pacify Stormi, who was equally petrified of her mother’s interference.
“She’s going to ruin it, I just know it!” Stormi was making herself miserable the day before Dottie’s arrival. It was later in the day and Paige stopped by to get herself and Bruce a strawberry smoothie to take next door to his financial planning business.
“You know no such thing,” Paige admonished.
Stormi stared at Paige. “You do know who we’re talking about here…Dottie Rogers. The woman takes no prisoners. She’ll steamroll my wedding planning and I’ll never know what hit me.”
I poured the strawberry concoction into two to-go cups. “Stormi you’re going to make yourself sick. Simply tell Dottie it’s your wedding and this is what you want.”
Now Stormi stared at me. “Have you met my mother?”
She had a point. “I’ll help to explain it to her.” Uh-oh…did I have a death wish?
“Oh really, would you?” Stormi squealed. “That would definitely help.”
No backing out now. “Of course.” I brought Paige the smoothies who gave me one of those ‘you be crazy’ looks.
As Paige left she held the door open so ol’ Charlie could wheel his automated wheelchair into the shop. He pulled his slow moving sign affixed a wobbly pole on the back of his wheelchair down so he could get inside the door. Once inside he let the sign go and it bounced lazily up and down. It was almost hypnotic.
“How is Charlie today?” I asked.
“I’m just fine. How are you girls?” He asked as he wheeled up to the counter.
“I’m doing fine, but Stormi is fretting about her mother.”
Charlie turned to look at Storm. “Why is that pray tell?”
Stormi wiped her hands on her apron. “Because my mother likes to take over and I’m afraid that’s what she’ll do regarding my wedding.”
“Just tell her it’s your wedding not hers.”
“That’s what everyone says, but it’s not that easy.”
“What’s hard about it?” Charlie asked. I handed him his usual, coffee with cream.
“Charlie, you know my mother right?”
Charlie took a sip of his coffee. “Yes’m I do. Miss Dottie. Strong willed woman. Ample shape if I remember correctly.”
Stormi did a double take. So did I.
“Ummm, yeah, well anyway, yes she’s strong willed and that’s what will ruin my wedding!”
“Hmmm…” Charlie looked like he was mulling the situation over. “Want me to distract her?”
I thought Stormi’s jaw would hit the floor. Not what we were expecting!
“You…you want to do what?” Stormi stuttered. She was in over her head!
“You mean take her mind off the wedding planning?” I asked.
“Mmmm hmmm. I could sweet-talk her into a date. Keep her busy so she wouldn’t have time to mess in your affairs.”
Stormi’s mouth was open but nothing was coming out. Neither one of us had ever seen this side of ol’ Charlie. There was still a tiger growling in the old boy’s tank.
Now we both knew that Stormi’s mother would not take Charlie up on his offer of going out on a date. Not that Dottie didn’t love Charlie as we all did, but a romantic tryst…not going to happen.
Charlie took a sip of his coffee. “Of course she’ll have to drive.”
There’s your chance Stormi…go for it! But she stood there like a lump. She must still be in shock. I knew I had to throw her a life preserver.
“Well now Charlie, Miss Dottie won’t have her own vehicle when she’s here,” I turned to Stormi. “Didn’t you say a friend was bringing her down?”
Stormi nodded. Snap out of it girl!
“Well darn.” Charlie didn’t seem too upset by the news.
Finally, Stormi found her voice. “How about you keep her occupied when she comes to the Frozen Scoop?” Huh? What the frick?!
Charlie mulled it over. “I think I could handle that.”
Now I’m speechless.
“Well girls I must be on my way home. Have a good evening.”
I walked over and opened the door for him to leave, almost being hit in the face with that darn slow moving sign atop the flimsy pole. After he left I turned to Stormi.
“You want Charlie to sweet talk your momma here in the shoppe? You know she won’t give him a second thought.”
Stormi walked over to wipe down the tables. “Hey, I’ll take any distraction I can get, even Charlie romancing my mother.�
��
“Careful what you wish for…you could end up with a new daddy.”
Stormi winced as she continued to clean the tabletops. “Nah, surely that would never happen.”
“I’ve seen stranger things.”
Stormi looked stricken.
“I’m just teasing!” I confessed. “You’ve got to lighten up or you’re going to make yourself sick. This should be a happy and magical time for you.”
Stormi slumped in one of the chairs. “I know, but ever since I told momma I’ve regretted it. You know she’s a force to be reckoned with.”
Triple Dip Debacle: A Cozy Mystery (Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book 7) Page 1
