by Lola St. Vil
“I won’t see him again.”
“Can you even stay away from him?”
“Yes.”
“Wow, another lie. That’s just great, Ameana. That’s…perfect,” he spits out bitterly as he walks towards the edge of the cliff.
I shout after him as he prepares to take off.
“It hurts. It hurts so much to see them together. Every single moment I have to watch that, it feels is like I’m dying. Can you understand that?”
He turns and shouts back.
“You were with Marcus for two hundred and fifty-five days. I died two hundred and fifty five times. But I never did what you did; I never let my heart get in the way of this mission. Never.”
“Then you didn’t love me like I loved him.”
“You and Marcus should have stayed together; both of you are delusional.”
“Are you going to tell?”
“Even if I don’t, how long do you think you can conceal this act of evil you’re committing?”
“Don’t say anything, please.”
“If Rage ever gets the chance, he’ll kill you. And if Marcus ever finds out, he’ll think you’ve actually gone to the other side, he’ll have to kill you.”
“He already did.”
Rio shakes his head at me sadly and flies off. I lean back on one of the trees and cover my face with both hands.
When I open my eyes, he is standing in front of me.
“Don’t Sages ever take a day off?” I quip.
“Well, there was talk of a union awhile back but nothing came of it.”
“What is it?”
“I came to warn you.”
“Warn me about what?”
He looks at me as if to say, “You know what.”
“Yeah, I know what I’m doing is wrong. I got it,” I snap.
“No, my dear. What you’re doing isn’t just wrong; it’s against the rules.”
“What rules?”
“Good and evil are separate for a reason. Everything has to do with balance. You should know that by now.”
“Angels aren’t allowed to hang with demons.”
“Is that what you two have been doing, hanging?”
“We’re not a couple.”
“You have given evil access to your mind, body and spirit. More importantly, you have given evil a window into your soul. Do you think that there will be no consequences?”
“What are they?”
“Who knows? But I suspect they will be quite costly.”
“This is your warning?”
“No, my warning is this: being around evil causes one to act accordingly. It is not realistic to think that you will be unaffected.”
“I haven’t betrayed my mission.”
“No, just your team; for now.”
Then he gets back on the Port that brought him and disappears.
***************************************
CHAPTER SIXTEEN: THE CURSE OF KNOWING
It takes all my will to go back to the Healing Academy. I fear that when I get back there, everyone will know about me and Rage. But like it or not, I can’t just walk out on my team. So, I head back to see if there has been any progress on Emmy’s condition.
As I get closer to the center, I play out horrible scenarios where the team learns my secret. All scenarios end up with my death.
I long for the days of certainty again. Back when I had a mission and a boyfriend. Back when those two things were in perfect harmony.
Now most of my energy is spent trying not to kill a human who is in all likelihood going to die anyway. My energy is also spent kissing a guy I may later have to kill in battle.
But the place where most of my energy goes these days is to him. Marcus.
I spend more time than I care to admit trying to hate him. I push the memory us to the back of my mind. But the only way I can really push the thought of him away is with Rage.
I will stop. This thing with Rage is foolish and must end.
Although all of the above is true, cutting Rage off won’t be as easy.
I fly into the Healing Academy and try to brace myself for what may be coming. But as I round the hallway I don’t see any angry Guardians out for my blood.
I reluctantly enter Emmy’s room.
There I find the entire team along with Gray and several healers watching over Emmy.
There is a light blue liquid floating above her. From the way the healers are focusing, I’m certain that it is them that is keeping the liquid floating in a circular pattern just above Emmy’s body.
As I walk in, all eyes are on me except Marcus, who cannot tear himself away from his girl.
Rio, on the other hand, can’t help but glare at me. Miku studies her brother but she is unable to understand why he is giving me such an icy stare.
“What is that?” I ask.
“It’s the mixture we prepared,” Gray says.
“It is working?”
Please, please work, so I don’t have to tell anyone who the Caller is. If I keep his secret, he will keep mine.
“It’s supposed to turn white after five minutes. That’s how we know it is working. But it is still blue,” one of the Healers reply.
“How long has it been?”
“An hour and a half,” Marcus says grimly.
“If this doesn’t work, soon she’ll go into the third and final stage. She’ll begin to see things that aren’t there, the pain will be beyond comprehension and she’ll die.”
“What about the carving in her arm? Is it complete?” I ask.
“There should be one more marking. If she can survive it, we’ll at least know what the maker of the Virus wants,” Gray says.
“We know what they want; they want the Triplex,” Marcus barks.
“We should know for certain when she wakes up. Why don’t all go recharge?” Gray says in a calming voice.
Marcus is about to argue, but Jay stops him.
“Baby girl would want you to get some rest, man. C’mon.”
Marcus kisses Emmy on the forehead and heads out the door. Miku does the same. Rio and Jay put a caring hand on her before exiting.
I silently follow them out of the room.
Once in the hallway, it is clear that Marcus isn’t going to recharge. He is pacing up and down the hall.
“What was that crashing sound we heard earlier?” Miku asks us.
“I threw Ameana out the window,” Rio says in a very serious tone.
Everyone takes it as a joke and no one asks any more about it.
Thank you, Omnis.
“Marcus, go recharge,” I tell him.
“Why isn’t the mixture working?” he says to himself.
“We’ll just wait to see what the maker of the Virus wants,” Miku says.
“It doesn’t matter. Even if we had the Triplex, it’s not like we could just hand it over,” Rio says.
“She will not survive another marking; no human can possibly can.”
“Emmy isn’t just any human,” Miku reminds him.
“She told an Akon to go to Hell. She battled War and held her own. Let’s face it, Emmy is way too stubborn to give in to anything including this Virus,” Rio reminds him.
“She’s awake,” Gray says, sticking her head out of Emmy’s room.
We all pile back inside. Emmy stirs and groans on the bed.
“We couldn’t recharge,” Marcus says to Gray.
“I understand.”
Emmy seems to have lost about ten pounds in the last few days. Her collarbone is more noticeable, her eyes continue to look sunken and every movement she makes requires a great amount of effort.
“How are you feeling?” Marcus asks her.
“Thirsty,” she says in barely a whisper.
Everyone in the room looks at each other. Every time they have given Emmy anything to eat or drink, she throws it back up immediately. Then she continues to vomit seemingly without end.
“We’ll get you something in a minute,”
Miku says kindly to her friend.
“Is the mixture working?” she asks.
We look up at the waves of blue above her. They should have turned white over two hours ago.
“Yeah, it’s doing the job,” Marcus says.
“Angels shouldn’t lie,” she tells to him.
Then the mixture slows down and eventually stops.
“What does that mean?” Marcus asks.
“It means the mixture has failed,” Gray says.
“Well, try again,” Marcus demands.
“I’m afraid it will be the same thing.”
“I don’t care, try again.”
“Is there maybe an adjustment that could be made?” Miku asks.
“We’ll see what we can do.” The healers collect the liquid and leave the room. Judging from their faces, it is unlikely that they can come up with a better mixture than the one they have already tried.
“It’s okay, guys. I’m really not in that much pain,” Emmy says.
Even as she says the words, her lips tremble and her hands shake.
It’s like she’s being electrocuted from within. Everyone can see that she’s just trying to put up a brave front.
“There’s only one more marking that we’re waiting for,” Marcus reassures her.
“And then what?” she asks.
“Then we find a way to give the Virus maker what they want.”
“You know what they want; the Triplex. But we can’t say yes. We can’t even give them a clue.”
“We’ll worry about that later. For now, try and save your strength,” Rio encourages.
She looks over at Jay. He is sad and unable to make eye contact with her.
“Hey Jay, why don’t we ditch this healing stuff, hop into Siren, and go for a drive?” She playfully dares him.
“Bet; where you wanna go?”
“Knowing you, I’m sure we’ll end up somewhere with hard liquor and easy girls”
Jay laughs despite himself.
She smiles at me and says she likes my new look. I mumble a quick ‘thank you.’
I really don’t know how else to react.
Then she cries out as her body is jolted off the bed. Marcus rushes closer to her. Gray runs into the room.
They pull the bed sheets back and Emmy’s whole body is pale and sweating. They try to get her to remain still but she can’t stop writhing in pain.
“Please, make it stop. Make it stop,” she begs to the whole room. Marcus’s heart is breaking. I swear I can hear it.
“It’s okay, baby. It’s gonna be okay.” But she’s too busy screaming to make out what he’s saying.
It takes every ounce of strength that she has but she reaches out for Marcus. She looks pleadingly into his eyes, tears stream needlessly down her face. She clutches at his shirt.
“Marcus, kill me. Please, kill me.”
Gray makes everyone leave so she can calm Emmy down. As we head out of the room, I make a decision: I am going to tell Marcus who the Caller is. That way she can stop suffering. Even if it means my suffering will begin.
But even before I can call Marcus over to talk, he comes over to me.
“Mimi, take a walk with me.”
Hearing him call me Mimi causes me to feel a little lightheaded. I didn’t realize how much I missed hearing him call me that. Miku calls me that also, but somehow, it’s different when he does it.
I suggest if he wants to talk in private that we can go to the White Forest but he says he doesn’t want to be that far away from Emmy right now. I could have pointed out that we were only minutes away but I let the subject drop.
I figure this is just as good a time as any to tell him who the Caller is and put a stop to this. At first I thought that the mixture would work but since it didn’t, there is no way to avoid having to tell Marcus the truth about the person sending the Virus.
“Hey, I want talking to you about—” I start but he cuts me off.
“—Wait. Let me go first.”
I want to get this off my chest once and for all but he looks so tired, I can’t help but to give him what he wants.
“Okay, you start,” I say.
“First, I’m sorry I blew up at you earlier. You are entitled to make yourself over any way you want. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“It’s fine; you’re under a lot of pressure.”
“You are too. This isn’t easy for you. I know that.”
“It’s fine,” I say lamely.
“No, it’s not. I wish I could have done things differently, ya know?”
What does that mean? Is he trying to say he regrets breaking up with me?
“What things?” I ask. I’m terrified and yet hopeful of the answer he might give.
“With you and me.”
He’s coming back to me…
The thought makes me dizzy with happiness and anticipation. I put both hands in my pocket so as not to fidget.
“What about us?” I say.
“I should have done things differently. Better.”
“What things, Marcus?”
We look longingly into each other’s eyes. There is no one else in the world but us. He takes my hand in his.
He still loves me.
“Mimi, I should have been stronger and more courageous when we were together. I shouldn’t have waited so long to tell you that it was over. I should have told you that the moment I began to have feelings for Emmy.”
“You’re sorry you didn’t break up with me sooner?”
“No, I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to be upfront with you like you deserve.”
So, you don’t want me back?
I don’t talk. I’m afraid of what I will say. I’m afraid of how weak and needy my voice will be. I just look away.
“Mimi, I’m sorry about the way things went down with us. And I’m sorry that I don’t have the time to do this the way that I really want to.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I wanted you to do this on your own time; whenever you were ready. But the truth is Emmy just doesn’t have that kind of time. We might never know what the symbol is because she may die before then.”
“Marcus, what is it?”
“I love her, Mimi. She’s means the world to me. I know it’s been hard for you to have front-row seats to our relationship. And had our circumstances been different, I would wait for as long as you need me to. But things are…”
He stops himself and takes a moment. Then, sadly, he looks into my eyes and says, “Mimi, I need my Rah back.”
It feels like I’ve been stabbed the chest by one of Mayhem’s daggers. I’d take a moment to steady myself but I don’t know how.
He wants his Rah back? He gave his Rah to me. It is an Angel marriage. And now, he wants a divorce? He wants to take back everything we’ve ever said and meant to each other?
“Mimi, are you okay?”
“What?”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
“I know I should wait until you’re ready to return the Rah, but I can’t. If Emmy doesn’t make it, I’d like to kiss her goodbye.”
“Then you have a problem, because as it so happens I’m not giving out Rahs today. Come back in a few weeks and I’ll see what I can do.”
I fly off leaving him shocked and disheartened.
I fly until I am out of Daraquin.
Everything around me seems to blur. I don’t really see the rush of Wal-Mart shoppers or the cars on the streets.
I don’t slow down even when the New Yorkers curse me for bumping into them. I don’t care. I have to get where I am going.
I get in a cab. I’m now three blocks short of my destination, when we hit traffic.
I quickly pay the driver, get out of the cab and run the last three blocks like a woman possessed.
I bang on the door loudly.
He opens.
There would be no meeting in the alley tonight.
I wanted him right
here, right now.
And Rage had absolutely no say in the matter.
*********************************
Hours later, I’m sitting on the edge of the White Forest, knowing that I have to go back to the Healing Academy. Giving Marcus his Rah back or not is a personal decision. But I was chosen for this mission and I can’t abandon it because some guy broke my heart. That sounds like something Emmy would do and I’d like to think I’m much more mature than that.
I didn’t plan to snap on Marcus; it just happened. A part of me got so angry that he would ask for his Rah. How could put me in that position?
Yes, I know Emmy is in danger, but what about us?
What about Marcus and me? Am I supposed to forfeit all our times together just so he can make out with the human?
Yet again, I force myself to fly to the Healing Academy and brave what must be ten thousand times worse than the house of fire.
I walk into to Emmy’s room and everyone turns to me. But I’m not getting the usual looks of despair due to Emmy’s health.
“What happened?” I ask.
“The Hun has broken the second Mind Lock” Jay says.
“Damn it. How much time until he gets past the third one?”
“It shouldn’t take long.”
“Marcus, you can stay here and look after Emmy. The rest of us have got to go and protect the Witness,” Miku says.
“Not to mention Arden; she needs us,” Rio adds.
“Yo, if Arden dies, we will have pissed off her father, big time.”
“They’re right; we should go,” I say to my leader.
“You guys shouldn’t be out there without me. The Hun is too powerful. Even as a team, it’s going to be difficult. Let alone if you’re missing a member”
He looks over at Emmy.
She smiles bravely and he takes her hand.
“Why don’t the rest of us get ready and we’ll meet you outside,” Rio says.
Everyone but Marcus files out of the room.
Once in the hallway, Rio finally speaks to me.
“Stay here in case he needs you for anything,” he orders.
“Hey, hey, who’s the second-in-command here?” I ask him in a sad attempt at playful humor.
“That’s what I’d like to know,” he retorts.
He storms off leaving me by myself standing just outside Emmy’s room.
I can only imagine what Marcus is telling Emmy right now: Ameana is being a total bitch, she won’t give me my Rah back, Blah, blah, blah.
