At the bar Bryce stopped to order three tequila shots, handing one to me and pounding the other two himself. My throat felt hot after the shot but I was only mildly buzzed. Bryce, who had started drinking long before me, was fairly drunk. Holding my hand we walked downstairs to the basement and back to the room we had entered earlier. When we opened the door though, it was already occupied by two writhing bodies on the bed. With a hiss Bryce shut the door behind him.
“Let’s go upstairs. I know there are a bunch of other bedrooms up there.” Clearly Bryce had spent quite a lot of time in this house. I recalled hearing that he and Alex had dated freshman year.
As if my thought brought her to life, suddenly Alex was in front of us, weaving slightly. “Bryce,” she slurred, giving him a big smile. She gave me a quick nod, which was about as much as I could hope for from her. Her face suddenly registered concern, and she reached up tentatively to touch his bruised cheek. “Are you ok?” Her mouth made a little moue, showing off her ruby red lips to great effect. As the skill she was most famous for was blowjobs, this was probably not coincidental.
Bryce brushed her hand away. “I’m fine Alex. Glad we got those fuckwads out of here for you.” Of course the boys had been more than happy to clear those guys out for their own testosterone fueled posturing, not for Alex, but I wasn’t going to get into it.
Bryce’s face turned lecherous, and he took my hand. “Now if you’ll excuse us, Jenny and I are going upstairs to take care of something. Do not disturb.”
I was a bit shocked by his frankness but Alex just grinned knowingly. “Be my guest.”
Joe appeared, throwing his arm over Bryce’s shoulder. “Come on man, we’re doing shots, toasting the Dixon pricks and their departure.”
But Bryce was firm. “I’ll catch up with you later. Jenny and I have a date.” Still holding my hand, he led me toward the stairs. On our way up, I glanced down and saw Theo watching us. I smiled at him but his face had a look of displeasure, concern even.
On the second floor, we headed down the hall, looking for an open door. We finally found one at the end, a small room that must have been for a child. I knew Alex was an only child, so I wondered idly if it was for a visiting cousin or had been Alex’s when she was younger.
Bryce shut the door behind us before guiding me backward in the dark until my legs hit the bed. He pushed me onto it and followed me down, his body leaning over me. I could smell the alcohol on his breath but I knew he wasn’t drunk enough to lose focus. His touch as he ran his hand over my body was not unpleasant or aggressive, but I felt nothing. This didn’t seem the right thing to be feeling before sex. But I couldn’t see a way out of this situation that wouldn’t be social suicide, so time to just suck it up. The stark realization that I was more dependent on my popular friends than I had been willing to admit hit me. I was well and truly trapped.
Meanwhile, Bryce had reached over to turn on a bedside lamp and was now determinedly undressing me, while I lay like a ragdoll, neither resisting nor helping. He didn’t seem to notice my passivity. He paused to kiss me at various moments. I knew he really did care about me, but I also knew his affection was not unconditional and he expected me to give myself to him: that was part of the deal. I felt an overwhelming sadness, a sense of worthlessness, and my eyes filled with tears.
He had me down to my panties before he sat back on his knees to pull his shirt over his head. He gazed down hungrily, his eyes raking over my body, completely oblivious to my bleak mood.
“God you are so hot. I have been dreaming about fucking you for so long.” I lay still, hoping it would be over fast. He had unbuttoned his shorts and was pulling out a condom packet from his pocket- apparently he had decided to forego foreplay this time- when we heard a loud ringing sound from all around us. It was some sort of alarm, presumably a smoke alarm. I heard thumps and shouts and I sat up abruptly.
“What is that?”
Bryce cursed. “Fuck. Broken smoke alarm probably. Let’s ignore it.” He pushed me back down.
I looked at him. “Bryce we can’t. I don’t want to burn to death in this house, and with this many drunk people anything could have happened. Let’s go find out what’s going on.”
Bryce sighed and reluctantly agreed. “Ok let’s go.” He jumped up and pulled me to my feet, and I collected my clothes. His eyes settled onto my breasts and stayed there until I had my bra and cami back on, and I quickly pulled on my jeans. Bryce kept his shirt off but buttoned up his shorts over his erection. I grabbed my shoes and carried them. It was easier to move fast barefoot than in those torture devices.
We hurried along the hall and down the stairs. The house was almost empty, and the alarm was still going off loudly. We headed out the front door where we could see a large number of people had gathered. As we were among the last out and most people were facing the house, all eyes were on us for a moment. As Bryce was without his shirt and I was carrying my shoes, it was embarrassingly obvious what we’d been up to. It dawned on me he must have left his shirt off purposefully. I heard a wolf whistle and Bryce laughed. It pissed me off that he was airing all this in public, like I was some trophy.
I looked around at the crowd. Lacey and Kai were leaning against her car, she with her back pressed into his chest and he with his arms around her waist. She looked tired and pissed off. Our eyes met and she raised her eyebrows in a weak smile. The bartender from the kitchen was texting and having a smoke a bit further away. Charlotte and Chloe were huddled together, gossiping. Joe was making out with Katie. I looked around for Theo and saw Alex talking animatedly with him and Connor. Theo was shrugging and smiling, while Alex was glaring at them furiously. They all three trooped back into the house and a few minutes later the alarms went off.
Alex came back out the front door. “OK people, false alarm, literally. These dickwads”-(here she gestured at Theo and Connor, who were grinning unrepentantly next to her) –“decided to light a joint with some wet newspaper while standing under a smoke detector. They are very, very sorry: isn’t that right?” She glared at them as they nodded sheepishly to the partygoers on the lawn.
“Fucking idiots”, Bryce grumbled under his breath.
Alex smiled coldly. “Everyone, feel free to come back inside and party some more.”
As people walked back up the steps, Lacey called out to me. Bryce and I walked over to join her and Kai. Lacey was abrupt. “What a clusterfuck. Jenny, I’m ready to go home.”
I nodded, suddenly feeling exhausted. Bryce whined in protest. “What, Jenny we need to finish what we started. I’ll take you home later.”
“Nonsense,” Lacey said dismissively. “You’re drunk and not driving anyone anywhere. I’m sober. Pound her another night. We’re leaving.”
I rolled my eyes and raised my shoulders at Bryce, as if to say, “There’s no use trying to fight her.”
He pulled me into his arms. I could tell he was pouting but didn’t want to burn any bridges with me. “Babe, to be continued.” He kissed me sloppily on the lips and smacked me on the ass before turning to Kai. “Dude with the ladies going let’s get hammered.”
Kai nodded. “Agreed.” They moved toward the house. I caught Theo’s eye a few feet away. He smiled and winked at me. He put his phone up to take my picture. I pursed my lips in a kiss, my hands on my hips. He cackled and then turned away.
Alex called to us before we reached the car. “Lacey your little brother is naked and standing on the pool table. I can’t deal with him right now. Get him out of here.”
Lacey rolled her eyes and we traipsed back to the house. Kai and Bryce were nowhere in sight so we enlisted the help of a couple other guys to drag Dylan out. He was high as a kite but mellow, thankfully, a heap of blond hair and bare flopping limbs. They shoved him in the back seat of the Audi, where he promptly toppled over and passed out. I averted my eyes till Lacey tossed a towel over him.
Lacey shook her head. “What a night.” She glanced over at me as we drove around the circular gr
avel driveway. I was slumped in the passenger seat, feeling deflated. “What’s with you? It’s not like it’s your brother strung out in the back seat.”
“I’m sorry about Dylan. What’s he on, do you think?”
“God only knows. Poke him, will you, to see if he’s alive.”
I reached over and thumped his leg and he groaned.
Lacey got back to the point. “So what’s going on?”
I took a deep breath, not meeting her eye. “Bryce and I almost had sex- that smoke alarm is the only thing that stopped us- and I really didn’t want to do it.”
She looked surprised. “Don’t you want to be with Bryce? I thought you were into him.”
“He’s a hot guy and all but I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it.”
Lacey barked out a short laugh. “Is there someone you like better?”
“No, no I just don’t feel a spark there. I find him kind of, well, boring. And he is sexist too.”
Lacey looked annoyed now. “Well if there is no one else, I think you’d be making a big mistake to break it off. What are you expecting, some brilliant sensitive type who’s also hot as shit? Doesn’t exist among teenage boys. Give Bryce a chance. We’ve got Homecoming in a month, for one thing. You and he will definitely make the Court. There are a lot of perks to being with him, and what’s the big deal about sleeping with him? You’re not a virgin and I’ve never heard complaints about him in the sack.”
Lacey’s response had been pretty much as I expected. I should consider myself lucky, shouldn’t I?
Chapter 19
I slept fitfully that night, and woke up at 8 feeling tired and listless. Last night had been a shambles. I now knew I was as weak and trapped as any other shallow high school student, something I had prided myself on not being. I really wanted to talk to Tina but she was traveling this weekend with her parents to San Francisco. The only thing keeping me from spending the day in the fetal position was the thought of seeing Callum. I showered to get the product out of my hair and pulled on short jean shorts and a St. Pauli soccer club t-shirt that my dad had brought back for me from a trip to Germany. I let my hair air dry while I ate breakfast and then pulled it into pony tail. I put on some concealer to hide the dark circles under my eyes, and a little eye shadow, and left it at that. I stopped off at a Starbucks drive thru on the way to Callum’s house and got us each a large coffee and a scone for him, and was pulling up to his house by 9:10.
I rang his doorbell and waited, experiencing the now familiar butterflies. After what seemed like forever the door opened and he stood there, wearing nothing but plaid drawstring pajama bottoms slung low over his waist, revealing his chest all the way to the sexy v below his abs. He was rubbing his eyes sleepily and had serious bedhead. He looked scrumptious, but I wasn’t going to let him off the hook.
“You told me to get here by as close to 9 as possible, and you’re not even up yet!” I pointed an accusing finger at him.
“Well technically I am up, since I’m standing here aren’t I?” He rubbed his eyes again and smirked. “Anyway, sorry, I was up later than I expected last night, so I slept in. Give me a few minutes to shower and dress and I’ll be right out.”
I felt like saying, “Let’s just go back to bed,” but didn’t have the nerve, obviously.
Callum padded down the hall and I sat down on the couch in the living room to wait. When the shower went on I tried not to think about him naked in it. Instead I picked up his phone and made a playlist on his Spotify account, named it Callum’s Faves, and loaded it with Justin Bieber, One Direction, and Ariana Grande.
A few minutes later Callum reappeared with wet hair and wearing board shorts. He was pulling on a t-shirt and I got to see his abs ripple and his arms tense over his head. I gulped, trying to stifle the sound. He plopped down next to me on the couch, smelling of soap. There was about a foot between us, which I needed if I was going to keep from springing into his lap.
He glanced at the tray on the coffee table in front of us. “Hey you got me coffee? Thanks, I need it.” I handed it to him, careful that our hands didn’t touch, and he took a sip. “Wow and you even remembered I like it with a splash of half and half?” He looked incredulous. It had come up in conversation weeks before. Since I hung on every word he said, I’d remembered.
I deflected that, feeling embarrassed. Was I trying too hard? God I felt so off my game here. “Lucky guess. Here, this scone is for you too.” I handed him the bag.
“You rock.” He gave me a big grin and briefly wrapped his arm around my neck and squeezed, and then released me. Feeling tense being so close to him, I leaned forward on the couch as I sipped my coffee, while he relaxed back, his legs splayed out in front of him.
“Where’s your dad?” I had noticed that Callum’s was the only car in the driveway.
“At his girlfriend’s, as usual.” I heard the tightness in his voice and I ached for him.
“What’s the deal? Why are you so pissed at them?” I finally felt comfortable enough to risk asking something I’d been wondering about since our first tutoring session.
He paused for a moment, fiddling with the lid to his coffee. “Remember how I told you about my mom dying? I had just started going to this music teacher when my mom got sick, and when she died, my dad wanted to keep my life normal so the lessons continued. We were shattered, just going through the motions of living, and having routines helped get through the days. Anyway, I grew really close to that teacher. Looking back, I was just this little kid missing his mom and looking for another mother figure, whether she deserved it or not. But she seemed to really care about me and I trusted her. After all I saw her a couple times a week for years and years. She would do all this extra stuff for me, take me to concerts and give extra lessons and stuff, and I really thought she cared about me. I told her a lot of personal stuff- I just fucking cringe thinking about it. Then a year and a half ago I walked in on her and my dad screwing, right on this couch in fact. I was so pissed I was this close to punching him in the face. It turned out they’d been at it for years, all the time I’d thought she cared about me she was just kissing up to my dad. I cancelled the lessons and haven’t seen her since. I do my own thing now. I can teach myself pretty well at this point anyway. My dad won’t give her up but he at least keeps her out of my sight.”
He hadn’t looked at me as he talked, just kept flicking the edge of the coffee lid. He looked so vulnerable, the hurt and betrayal still raw. I ached for him. I reached out to touch his hand lightly, and he looked over, giving me a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“I’m sorry. That really sucks. I can’t believe she didn’t really care for you though.”
“Not enough to keep away from my dad. And my dad… he could have dated anyone and he picks her? I can’t forgive him.”
We sat for a moment in silence, then I decided it was time to change the subject.
To distract him, I asked “So, how was the gig?”
His face lit up. “It went well. We were pretty tight and we tried out a new song that people seemed to like, so, yeh, a good night. We were at this little club downtown where the owner really cares about music so it was a good opportunity for us.” He looked relaxed and happy, talking about his band.
“That’s awesome!” I said enthusiastically, delighted for him.
“I heard Alex’s party was quite eventful.” He raised an eyebrow.
“It was a goddamned arms race.”
Callum didn’t miss a beat. “Fall Out Boy.”
“Nice. So you heard about the party already? News travels fast.”
“Theo came over after it and filled me in on the Dixon boys, the smoke alarm and various other things.” He was smirking.
“Did he tell you that he and Connor were the ones who set off the alarm? What a dumb move to light that wet newspaper. You’d think they would have known better.”
“They did know better,” Callum said enigmatically.
“What? You mean they di
d it on purpose? Why do that?” I swung sideways to look at him. I must have looked shocked because Callum laughed.
“They had their reasons.”
“Why, then?” I persisted. “A prank?”
He was looking down, busy getting out his scone.
“Something like that.”
“You won’t tell me any more than that?” I whined. This sounded like good gossip.
“No. you’ll have to work it out for yourself, or try to extract it from Theo.” Callum was matter of fact. After a pause to eat more scone and take a sip of coffee, he spoke again. “So, did you have a good time last night?”
I shrugged, my eyes on the coffee lid. “It was OK.”
“Just OK? You looked like you were having fun in the photo Theo sent me.” I was glad I’d not made some ugly face when he’d taken that picture.
“Why wasn’t the party better than OK?” Geez now he was the persistent one.
I wasn’t about to reveal details, but I was too tired to be anything but emotionally honest with him. Resting my elbows on my knees, and keeping my eyes still on the coffee lid in my hands, I said, “You know how I was saying a while back about how I could be in the popular group without giving a shit about that? Well some things happened last night that made me realize that isn’t entirely true, that I am not the free agent I thought I was. That kind of sucks.”
I turned my head sideways to look at Callum’s eyes, dreading the thought that I would find judgment in them. Instead I saw tenderness and sympathy, which immediately triggered tears. I turned away and jumped up.
“OK enough stalling, how about that oil change already?” I said it teasingly as I bounced toward the door with my back to him, giving myself a chance to get my emotions in check.
“What’s the hurry? You’ve gone this long neglecting your car!” Callum was half grumbling, half laughing. He stuffed the rest of the scone in his mouth as we headed out the door.
I perched on a curb while he got the oil and drip pan from the garage and popped the trunk, where the engine was located. He also brought out cold bottles of water for each of us. When he had pulled out the dipstick and checked it he whistled.
Tutor Me Page 15
