by Jayla Kane
“I’m not trying to be weird,” he told me, and for the first time when we talked about this… He managed to look like he felt, while he was actually speaking, and he looked… Stressed out, actually. “I don’t want to hurt you, Baby—”
“We covered that,” I said, smearing my tears away. “That’s making it weird, okay?” I glared at him. “You literally can’t hurt me, not seriously. Not if I’m paying any sort of attention, which, hello, I’m not going to do while I’m getting my brains fucked out and I am just fine with that. Okay?” The corner of his mouth moved the tiniest bit. “It’s okay to laugh! Hunter, jeez…”
“What am I doing wrong?” His eyes were pleading. He stroked my cheekbones with his big, calloused thumbs, and it made my whole body tremble.
“You’re pulling away from me,” I whispered, a sob catching in my throat. “You’re… You’re doing that shitty thing guys do, when they get tired of you—”
“Baby—”
“I know you’re scared of acting like him,” I said, the snarl creeping out of me against my will. He bit his lip, his thoughts dark, and I twisted my fingers through his hair, making him pay attention to me. “I know that’s what you’re thinking. We both… We were both so careful… I haven’t thought about it since the day before yesterday, Hunter,” I confessed, the words like fire, scorching my throat. “That’s the longest—that’s the longest ever. Because you,” I told him, “you make me so happy, you make me feel not alone, I haven’t—”
“I’m sorry—”
“Don’t be fucking sorry!” I slapped his chest, unable to stop myself, but I knew it didn’t hurt him. “Great. Now I’m sorry,” I muttered, the wave of shame temporarily over-riding my anger as he blinked down at me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” I stared up at the ceiling for a minute, willing myself to calm down, my face damp and my heart thudding in my chest; he held perfectly still. “You’re not acting like him. You’re acting like every other douchebag I ever dated. Once we fool around they’re too cool to talk about it, all of a sudden, even if it’s just because they’re worried it didn’t mean much to me and they don’t want me to hurt their feelings.” I swallowed and crossed my arms, balancing on his long thighs as he gently held on to my waist, his grip soft as he watched me and listened. “It’s fucking immature, is what it is.”
Some part of me sighed with relief at the sight of one silky black eyebrow arching sardonically on his forehead. “I’m being immature.”
“Yes.” I wiped my tears off of my chin. Gross. “You are.”
“You, Baby Keller, are accusing me—”
“Don’t be fucking cute right now,” I snapped, not ready to let go of my frustration, and felt a rush of elation when he abruptly pulled me forward and kissed my forehead. “Hey! I’m serious. We need to—”
“I’m not sure…” He inhaled, his eyes suddenly boring in to mine; the whimsy of the previous moment was gone from us both in a flash. “I’m still not sure how I fucked this up so bad.”
“I think I…” I sighed, the tension pouring out of my body as his big hands gently began massaging my lower back. “I need you, is all,” I whispered. “And I could feel you pulling away, and I—” I couldn’t finish. I didn’t have anything else to say.
It was his turn.
“That wasn’t the problem I anticipated,” he finally said. His voice was as soft as I’d ever heard it, a lion’s purr shaping words.
“I know.” Me either, I realized, although it should have been on my radar at least a little bit. I mean, I am a girl with two sisters, and I have read Cosmo since I was nine. But I was so focused on the stupid horribleness that happened right before—all of the drama and the dumb witches and all the horribleness that the dumb witches did to me--that it just didn’t occur to me to think about how Hunter and I would relate to one another. As a pair, as people.
As a man, and a woman.
“I mean,” he continued quietly, his hands still moving on my body, “I didn’t realize you… You wouldn’t know how I felt about you.” And then I realized those hands were shaking.
“I’m not psychic,” I mumbled, and he leaned forward and kissed my forehead again; this time, though, he stayed, pressing the puckered, worried skin of his own forehead to mine. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, linking my fingers behind his neck, and closed my eyes; this was right. This was how we were supposed to be.
“I’m afraid of hurting you,” he said again, but before I could interrupt with another protest he pressed a short, sweet kiss against my lips. “You don’t have to—I heard you. But I…” He inhaled sharply. “I got my own demons, Baby, and not just the wolf.” I felt him shiver and flattened my hands on his wide shoulders, pressing my energy into him. “And I’m trying… I was trying so hard not to scare you that I… I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You’re trying not to scare me?” I scrunched up my nose and tilted my head, making him smile for just a split second; his hands were still shaking though, and I began to stroke his head and pushed myself closer, so that our torsos were touching. In fact, we were in a very familiar position.
“I think you have a lot more experience with relationships than I do,” he mumbled as I kissed his jaw. “I mean… I’ve had a fair amount of sex, but it was nothing. Actually fucking nothing. Just a way to… To pass the time.”
“So romantic,” I muttered again, and felt the curve of his smile against my forehead as I nuzzled him.
“I don’t mean to talk about it, but I… I’m realizing some of the shit I don’t know, I guess,” he said, and I was completely floored when I felt the tiniest surge of heat in his cheek. I leaned back and stared at the faintest blush on his dark skin, and completely melted.
“Oh, sugar,” I whispered, stroking his cheek, and he blinked at me.
“See, now that?” He gulped. “That’s the kind of shit I just did not know.”
“What?”
“What it would feel like,” he whispered, “when you… When you love me.”
“I told you I do.”
“Yeah but—” His eyes squeezed shut, and I watched the pulse in his throat throb for a solid minute before he was able to speak again. “It’s too much, Baby,” he whispered, and I stared as he swallowed and tried again, then gave up.
“What is?” His hands were shaking less, but they still hadn’t stopped. “Hunter?”
“The way I feel about you,” he said softly. “It’s too much. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, earlier—I was so happy, I heard what you said last night and I thought about it a lot after you went to sleep but…” His eyes searched my face, bright and exquisite, the shine of them more like the limning of a silver moon than tears. “I keep trying to take care of you, to make sure I don’t rush you, that I don’t take more from you. If I’m not doing it right—” His massive chest heaved as he pulled in a hard breath. “I’m sorry. All I want to do is take care of you.”
“Okay,” I whispered, my hands running over the stubble on his cheeks; I traced his perfect lips with my index finger, my eyes fixating on their shape as I slowly leaned in.
“All I want to do is love you,” he whispered, and I kissed him then, kissed him in a way that I hoped showed him how that made me feel inside.
“How do you want to love me?” The teasing undertone left my voice when I felt his breath on my throat, his hands tightening around my waist, our bodies pressing against one another. The heat radiating off of him was intense, and the tremor in his hands wasn’t from fear, I could tell.
“All ways,” he murmured, his mouth on my collarbone. “Every way.” He made his way towards my breasts, the two of us swept by a hunger for one another so powerful I found my body locking on to his, my thighs squeezing as I clung to his hips. I was naked and he took full advantage, his mouth suddenly ravenous for me, for my breasts as he kneaded and stroked them, and my body found itself once again riding the hard length of him through the rough fabric of his jeans. He stayed like that,
though, slow and deliberate to the point of making me beg, his full lips teasing my nipples until they stung. His hair was long enough for me to pull, so I wrapped my fingers in his dark curls and yanked him off, shivering at the feel of his teeth as they slid along the tip of my damp nipple.
“I want it,” I whispered. “Please?”
“What do you want?” His eyes flashed with darkness, then reverted back to grey; one broad hand splayed out across my back, holding me aloft, while the other one slipped between my thighs. I felt my spine melt as soon as his finger slid inside of me.
“More,” I panted, but he licked the column of my throat and made me ride it, my quads tensing as I flexed my hips and moaned beneath his ravenous gaze. Hunter kept me upright with one hand as I shamelessly rocked my body, working my pussy against the calloused skin of his palm; “baby, please,” I begged, forcing my eyes open and lurching upwards again, so that we were face to face, breath to breath. “Please, I want you inside.” I started tugging his shirt over his head, and this time he let me, gently sliding his finger out so he could pull it completely off. “You like it when I beg,” I accused, watching his face, and was treated to a quick flash of his dimples.
“Why whatever do you mean, darlin’?” In half a second, I was flat on my back, staring up at the ceiling. I started to giggle and squirm away, but massive biceps slipped over my hips and held me fast, long fingers gently caressing my belly as Hunter gazed up at me from between my thighs.
“I’m on to you, Hunter Black,” I murmured, and heard his dark chuckle just before a shot of pleasure scorched through me. His tongue licked me from my lips to my clit in one solid stroke, sending a shockwave through my spine that forced it off of the mattress. I didn’t recognize the noises coming out of my mouth when he did it again, his tongue sliding between the swollen folds just before full lips latched onto my clit. He made me cum so hard I had to shove him off, my hands fisted in his hair as he gazed up at me, defiant, eyes blazing. As I tried to catch my breath he stood up and stared down at my body, chest heaving; I wanted to reach out for him, but my spine was almost liquid, unable to move.
“We should get you home, sugar,” he rasped, his eyes raking over my breasts, still peaked and damp, then down to my core.
“The hell with that,” I mumbled, forcing myself up onto my elbows and pretending to glare at him.
“Did you have something else in mind?” One eyebrow raised, and a twinkle in his eye. The bastard.
“Yeah, like I said,” I told him, unable to hide the amused irritation he flushed me with. He shrugged and started to walk off, and I reached back and hurled a poorly aimed pillow at his skull. “Hunter! You get back here and—”
“And?” He cocked his head as he turned around, his tongue tasting his lips. I watched as he lifted the finger that was inside me earlier to his mouth and sucked it, his eyes black as pitch, one canine curling over his full bottom lip.
The sight made me so wet I felt my body instantly clench below.
“Baby?”
“Hunter Black, you get over here and fuck me right now,” I hissed, reaching down to tease my folds open with my own fingers. He froze, his body preternaturally still as he drank in the sight, and I opened my legs and laid back, running lazy fingertips over my breasts, making my nipples harden in front of him. “Or not, I guess,” I whispered. “I could always—”
He was undressed and inside of me before I could say more—he teleported into me, the weight of him sudden and fierce, my slippery opening stretched to its limits as I screamed with delight and awe. Hunter pounded into my wet slit, the hard length of his cock meeting my insides as I gasped with pleasure, wincing as I adjusted, then was lost to sensation. He fucked me into oblivion, my screams echoing through the house so loudly I could still hear them once we both came, his big body shuddering into mine as I clutched his heaving back muscles and sighed, sore and content.
“Okay,” I murmured, kissing his throat. When he reared back, his face held a little bit of that lingering fear from earlier; he had definitely gone all in this time. But we fit, I thought, willing him to see it. Sure he was huge and savage and sweet all at the same time, but I…
Could I really see myself with anyone but him? Could I really see myself ever doing this again with anyone else without thinking about the way he smelled, and tasted, the way he felt when he was so deep inside of my body I saw stars?
No. He was perfect. He was meant to be mine.
Hunter was still gazing down at me with that little tinge of wariness that made my heart ache. I arched my back, surprising him; he was still inside of me, buried in my slick heat, and I pushed him further in. “Okay,” I whispered. “Now do it again.”
And the light that shone behind his eyes burned away any of the reservations I might have had, if I had any; he was meant to be mine, I thought, I was sure.
But I was also meant to be his.
Chapter Nineteen
Hunter
I wasn’t going to be able to leave her.
I could already feel it, the gathering rebellion in my gut, the way my claws kept trying to cut through my knuckles. I couldn’t be away from her for another fucking two weeks—one week—one goddamn night was too much. I couldn’t do it.
She sent me back twenty minutes ago to grab a new toothbrush from her bathroom, and just being in the mansion… I’d arrived at the cabin with her toothbrush in my hand and my heart in my throat. And now I felt like it was trying to crawl out of my mouth.
I knew it was going to be bad, yesterday morning when we woke up—well, when I woke up. I curled around her and listened to her breath for an hour before she started to stir, and then it took her another twenty minutes to admit she was awake, and then we… But I spent that whole hour thinking absolutely crazy shit.
Like, we’d never talked about birth control, and I didn’t fucking care. I knew Baby was probably on the pill; she’s just too damn smart and has too many sisters not to be. Her power also would probably take care of anything unpleasant that might have been passed along by that fucker, but regardless, I realized it hadn’t occurred to me even once to run out and get some condoms. Or even mention them, and it wasn’t solely because I was such a goddamn gentleman that I wasn’t expecting sex.
It was because I didn’t give a fuck if I got her pregnant.
I mean, for her I did—I recognized that Baby was not ready to be a mother. I never wanted to put her in a position where she had to think about it, and I should have talked to her, somehow, but the emotional things we were tackling were so heavy that I just… I guess I wasn’t ready to throw this latest batch of crazy on the pile… And like I said, I honestly hadn’t thought about it.
I didn’t care if I got her pregnant. I would marry her tomorrow, I would have a fucking litter with her in a heartbeat, I would never leave the cabin again if it meant I could be with her. I wasn’t just in love with Baby Keller; that was old news. That was the book title, the one written when I was born. I was… I was hers. I was hers in a way that was completely new, completely insane… A way that was complete.
It must have to do with the wolf, I thought, letting my body relax into some of the new ways I absorbed the world as one more often now; my eyes were always adjusting to the light levels, my nose was always working overtime. I used to be human when I relaxed, but I was becoming more of a hybrid. It got more intense after Moondown, which had to be related to the magic of the pack, but I didn’t understand how, and this new thing in me that was so attached to Baby…
I wished to god I had someone to talk to. I would have settled for a half decent father; I wondered if I could hunt the Sheriff down, then winced at the idea of having to talk about fucking feelings with a stranger. Tristan might have another book or something—something on mates, and how they make you lose your goddamn mind. Jake could probably relate at least a little bit, but he would definitely think I’d lost my shit if I admitted that I was thinking about marrying Baby after one weekend officially… Well, n
ot even officially together.
There was no way to tell her all this nonsense. She was eighteen years old; she was incredibly generous to spend any time with me at all, let alone entertain even the vaguest notions of romance. Such as it was.
Because I wasn’t working in vague notions, and a part of me had to admit I never was when it came to her. I was working in absolutes.
I would do anything for her. Die for her, kill for her, anything. Anything at all.
Except, apparently, leave her alone for one night.
“Baby,” I started, then ground my teeth together. She was packing up her bag and looked absolutely beautiful, as lovely as sundown; her skin was glowing like a fresh plucked peach when she smiled up at me and tucked her hair into a ponytail, and I could actually hear every beat of my fucking heart in my ears, revving like an engine at the sight of her face.
I needed to shut the fuck up.
“I’ll call you tonight,” she said, her mind already somewhere else, putting the rest of her clothes in the bag and zipping it up. She looked… She looked happy. At least I’d gotten one thing right. She looked like she had before all this crap happened. “Is that okay? I know you don’t like to talk much, but,” she continued, resting the strap on her shoulder, “I would really love to hear your voice.” She gave me one of those looks that leaves me speechless, a flirty little glance from under thick black lashes, and followed it up with the kind of sass that made me want to plant her back in the bed. “If that’s alright.”
