by Kat Mizera
It was five o’clock and the kids were waiting for me, but I had Sandor take me to the hospital first. Jay and I were going to talk, without Liz, even if I had to physically get her out of the room.
“This isn’t a good idea,” Sandor said for at least the tenth time as we pulled up to the hospital.
“Tough shit.” I got out of the car, slammed the door and stalked inside. I got in the elevator and took it up to the private room where Jay had been moved. While I was glad he was out of ICU, I wasn’t sure if there was adequate security on this floor.
“Hey.” He looked up in surprise when I walked into the room. Liz was on the chair next to the bed and they both looked at me guiltily. As if I didn’t already know they were involved.
“I need to talk to my husband,” I told her. “Alone.”
“Casey?” Liz actually looked hurt as she got to her feet.
“You can come back. I just need a few minutes.” I paused, waiting while she grabbed her purse, looked over her shoulder at Jay and then quietly shut the door behind her.
“What’s going on?” Jay asked me.
I tapped my foot impatiently. I wanted to rail at him for being a dumbass but that wouldn’t help anything, especially not my situation with Erik.
“What did you think was going to happen with all of this?” I asked him. “That we would stay married, Liz and Scott would stay married, and then we’d do the couple sex swap thing? I mean, what were you thinking? Love is fine, I get it—you got lonely—but with Liz? Getting her pregnant? How are we going to tell the kids and how the fuck are we going to move forward with our family, the band, the studio? Our lives are completely intertwined. I gave you half of everything to make you feel like you were part of me, but I’ll be damned if I sell all the things I love just so you can take half the money to go start over.”
“Okay, wait.” He was shaking his head. “First of all, the pregnancy, if nothing else, was a huge surprise to me too. She had an IUD, so I thought we were protected. I never would have done that intentionally, no matter how much I love her. Second, I’m not taking anything or going anywhere. If you don’t like the idea of staying the way we are in the interest of protecting Er—er, Scott’s identity, then we can handle it however you want. I’m officially debt-free, from my personal debts, and I don’t think we have anything substantial as a family.”
I shook my head. “No, both houses are paid for, all of our vehicles are paid for, and we pay off our credit cards every month, but if you had to borrow money from Nick, that means you have nothing left of your own money.”
He sighed. “No, I don’t. I mean, there’s a few thousand in my personal account, and other than a few hundred here and there for incidentals, I never touched our joint account, but everything else is wiped out.”
“Your 401K? Everything?”
He nodded.
“Jesus, Jay.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I assumed we would have a big advance coming from the record company but now…”
I sank into a chair. “So that was your plan, to stay married to me and continue the way we are because you’d have time to get your life in order.”
“It’s not like that.” He scowled. “I know I didn’t handle things right, but my plans never included using you or somehow getting my life together at your expense. That’s why I borrowed that last hundred grand from Nick. I didn’t touch anything that was ours, the kids’ college funds, anything like that. I just want to do what’s right going forward. Tell me what you want.”
“I don’t know and until we have answers about that accident, it’s hard to say. I do have a question, though.”
“Of course.”
“Who did you tell about…our life? Scott, Luke, everything Liz told you.”
“No one. I swear to god.”
“Are you positive, Jay? This isn’t about assigning blame anymore—it’s about protecting Luke and possibly the twins since I could also be a target.”
“Not for anything would I put you or any of our kids in danger. They’re my kids too, dammit. How can you think that of me?”
“I don’t think that of rational you, but desperate, gambling-addict you might have done something you’re now too terrified or ashamed to admit.”
His eyes narrowed into golden slits and he shook his head. “Not for anything. I swear on the twins, I didn’t tell a fucking soul. Not even my mother.”
“Then if the accident was intentional, we’re in deep fucking shit.”
I got home half an hour later and the kids acted like they hadn’t seen me in a year instead of a few days. It was ridiculous, but I hugged them all tightly and made sure to snuggle Luke extra hard, whispering in his ear that we’d talk after we ate. Marisol had made lasagna and garlic bread, so we sat at the table, the five of us since Sandor was part of the family too. It was odd, without Sasha or Jayson, and Jay and I had talked briefly about what to tell them. We weren’t going to make any official announcements until he could be with me, but tonight I had to give them a generic explanation of what was going on.
“Are you and Dad getting a divorce?” Jessie blurted out, her mouth full of lasagna.
“We don’t talk with our mouths full,” I responded, taking a long drink of iced tea.
Jessie swallowed, wiped her mouth and took a sip of water. “Are you and Dad getting a divorce?”
“I don’t know,” I said. Jay and I had decided to be truthful without giving them any more information than necessary. “Your dad and I decided to separate last fall, but that doesn’t mean the same thing it might mean for other families because of the band. We make a lot of money, and Uncle Tyler and Uncle Bash count on us too, so we decided to continue our lives but take some time to explore a few personal things individually.”
“Which means Dad found a girlfriend,” Joss said with a scowl.
“It means your dad met someone he cares about,” I responded slowly.
“And you too,” Jessie whispered.
“I’m not sure what you mean.” Uh oh.
“You were on the beach with some guy,” Luke finally spoke up. “In Greece. Like two days ago. It’s online.”
I put down my fork and rubbed my temples with one hand. “You guys need to stay off the internet. I mean it. I’m going to block everything that’s not educational if you keep this up. I’ve probably told you ten thousand times that your dad and I are celebrities, which means the press will report anything and everything, even if it’s nothing. The man I was with on the beach is an old friend, not a boyfriend. He was holding my hand because we were walking on uneven ground and—” I pointed at my sling. “I have a broken collarbone and broken ribs, so he didn’t want me to fall.”
No one said anything for a few minutes and finally Joss nodded. “Almost all the kids at school are from broken homes. It’s okay.”
“Our home isn’t broken,” I said tightly, trying to stay calm. “Our home is unconventional. Do you know what that means?”
Luke nodded but the twins shook their heads.
“It means not like everyone else. I’m divorced from Luke’s dad, Nick, but you all spend time there with him and Skye and Megan and Maddie. Sasha is adopted but she spends time with Nick and Skye, and your dad’s mom and sisters too. We have a large, unconventional but loving family, and that isn’t going to end.”
“Not if Dad marries Aunt Liz,” Jessie agreed. “She’s already our aunt—we don’t have to call her Mom, do we?”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “No. Definitely not.”
“And then Leni will be our cousin and our stepsister?” Luke wrinkled his nose. “Is that weird?”
“You would just continue to call her your cousin,” I said, already exhausted from this.
From that point on, they started talking about vacations that included all their cousins and stepsiblings, like the ski trip last Christmas, and how they would decorate their room in Jay’s new house. I wanted to interrupt, protest, something, but I honestly had no idea
what to say because I still had no fucking idea what we were going to do. And since they were putting a positive spin on it, it seemed like the best thing to do would be to let them.
Luke and I snuggled on my bed after the twins went to bed, and I just stroked his hair, waiting for him to talk to me. He was a lot like his father—his biological father—in that he tended to think about everything before opening up. Running into the house the day he’d made the discovery about who his biological father was had been out of character for him, and the quiet, thoughtful preteen with me now was the one I was used to.
“It’s okay if you met someone,” he said finally. “I mean, you haven’t been happy for a long time.”
“What in the world makes you say that?” I asked, shocked.
“I can tell. You’re my mom, you know? I know you and I’ve been worried about you.”
Tears pricked my eyelids. He was such a good kid and growing into a wonderful young man. It amazed me how smart and intuitive he was. So much like Erik.
“It’s not your job to worry about me,” I said softly.
“We’re a family,” he protested. “Don’t we have to care and worry about each other?”
“Of course, but I’m the mom and you’re only eleven. You should be enjoying your life, your friends, school…not thinking about whether or not your mom is happy.”
“But I love you and it makes me sad when you’re sad.”
“I’m okay, kiddo. Really. I have you and your sisters, which makes me happier than pretty much anything else. I have my music, which also makes me super happy. I have wonderful friends, my family, and more money than most people ever dream about. I have a great life. If Jay and I get divorced, it’ll be sad, but we don’t hate each other and I’ll be glad to know he’s met someone that makes him happier than I could.”
“Derek Harper’s mom said that his dad is a tool and his new wife is a bimbo. Derek said their divorce went on for a really long time and now his dad and his stepmom live in a little tiny apartment because his mom took all the money.”
“Sometimes that happens,” I said carefully. “But that won’t be the case with Jay and me. We have a lot of respect for each other and we’re not going to be petty like that. Besides, we’d already agreed to separate, so I knew this was probably going to happen.”
“So you’re not going to marry the guy in Greece?”
I closed my eyes, forcing myself to breathe. “I’m not going to marry anyone right now—I’m still married to Jay. I’m going to focus on taking care of you kids while my body is healing from the accident and figure out what we’re going to do about finishing the tour because there’s a lot of money at stake.”
“Mom, can we not go to Greece this summer? I just… I want to stay here with my room and my friends and my grandmas and Grandpa Ben and just be at home.”
It broke my heart but I nodded. “Of course. If that’s what you need, that’s what we’ll do.”
“You could go for a little bit, though,” he said slowly. “I mean, like a week or something. I know it’s your favorite place.”
“It is, and I’ll see what happens. Right now, we’ll stay here. All of us.”
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, kiddo.” And I really did. I couldn’t even fathom giving up my kids, but I also couldn’t fathom giving Erik up again. What the hell was I going to do?
16
Erik
We’d planned to gather at Casey’s house for a meeting last night, but Sandor said she was out cold when he went to check on her after she put the kids to bed, so I’d told him not to wake her. She’d been through a lot in the last week or so and she would need a good night’s sleep as we delved into this situation with Daniil. I was shocked to hear the driver of that truck had been an old friend of Daniil’s, and Sandor had been ready to hop a flight to London, but I’d calmed him down enough to remind him that if Daniil had betrayed us, Luke needed his Uncle Loco now more than ever.
We had no concrete proof he’d done anything, of course, but no one had forgotten Skye’s warning, years ago, that her ex-husband had been close to Daniil. Daniil had denied it and at the time we’d believed him because they’d obviously covered their tracks well, but my gut told me he was involved and it was hard to wrap my head around. Sandor and I were beyond close, more like brothers than cousins, and Vardan, Daniil and Elen had been close to me growing up as well. Vardan was gone now, and Elen had dropped off everyone’s radar after my purported “death,” but for Daniil to do this was unthinkable. Even though I didn’t know what, if anything, he’d actually done. All I had was my gut and it was screaming right now.
We waited until the kids had left for school before getting to Casey’s house. Nick, Liz, Ace and I shared a limo from the Charleston and I was suddenly nervous. Not because I’d done anything wrong or had anything to hide, but the last time I’d been in Casey’s house it had been a disaster and I wondered how she was going to react to all of this.
Sandor opened the door and we filed inside, following him to the kitchen where Casey or her housekeeper had set up a nice breakfast buffet, including croissants, quiche, fruit and a few pastries. She looked up and smiled when I came in, walking over to me and pressing her lips to mine. I didn’t give a damn who was watching and I kissed her thoroughly, flipping Sandor the bird when he made a sound of protest.
“Good morning,” she breathed, grinning up at me.
“Good morning.”
“Is your housekeeper home?” Ace asked, ignoring us.
Casey shook her head. “No, I sent her out running errands. She won’t be back for hours.”
“So we have news about the accident,” Ace said as we all got something to eat.
“I had a feeling,” Casey murmured. She slid her hand into mine and I squeezed it in what I hoped was a reassuring manner.
“No details yet, but we’ve identified the man as Samuel Barahi. He moved to Las Vegas about four years ago using the name Manuel Lopez. We’re not sure where he got the I.D., but Manuel Lopez, at least the one with the social security number he was using, died in California twenty-five years ago as a child. Manuel, a.k.a. Samuel, had no work history here in Vegas and lived in an efficiency apartment. No bank account, no bills to speak of, no credit cards, nothing but a stolen pickup truck that he used to crash into you.”
“A suicide mission?” Casey asked, frowning.
“No way to know,” Ace continued. “But the interesting part is this: Samuel was Daniil’s roommate in boarding school in England from grades nine through twelve.”
“Daniil?” Casey’s mouth fell open. “Oh my god.”
“Exactly.”
“I’m going to kill him.” Sandor growled under his breath.
“We don’t know anything yet,” I said to him.
“But the writing is on the wall. Skye told us years ago he was close to Omar and though we couldn’t find any proof, I should have dug deeper.” Sandor looked pretty pissed.
“The accident was some kind of warning,” Liz said softly.
“What do you mean?” I asked her.
She swallowed and chewed her lower lip. “Daniil has stayed in touch. He knows everything—absolutely everything. He’s stayed in contact since your death and has come to visit us at the Charleston in Monte Carlo multiple times.”
“Did he know about you and Jay?” Ace asked, narrowing his eyes slightly.
“I don’t know, but anything is possible. The last time we saw him he was kind of…weird?” She glanced at me. “Remember? He said something about relationship troubles and then kind of changed the subject.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I do remember that. Shit. What are we going to do?”
“I’m going to see him,” Sandor said.
“I need you here with Luke,” I said. “I have a better idea. I’m going to go look up Jesper.”
“Jesper?” Casey looked lost. “Who’s Jesper?”
“He’s an old friend of mine from Limaj. He was t
he Limaji ambassador to the U.K. before Anwar took power. I believe he works as a political consultant now, or a speech writer. Something like that. But if Langley can get me his address, I’m going to pay him a visit. He knows I’m alive since he recognized me back when we were actively helping the anti-rebellion. He may have an idea what’s going on because I believe he and Daniil kept in touch as well.”
“You can’t trust anyone,” Sandor said. “You don’t know that Jesper hasn’t turned too.”
“The alternative is sitting back and waiting to see what else happens and I’m not willing to do that. They’ve already gone after either Casey or Jayson as some kind of warning.”
“Warning of what?” Casey asked in confusion. “You’re not actively trying to get involved in whatever’s going on in Limaj, and Jay and I have nothing to do with it.”
“But if someone found out about me and Jay,” Liz said, “they might be worried. If Anwar, or any faction in Limaj, knows that Erik is alive, he hasn’t been a threat because he’s in hiding in Monte Carlo and has left things alone. If I’m involved with someone else, that means Erik might come out of hiding.”
“What’s the correlation?” Casey asked.
“If I’m moving on, perhaps Erik is planning to go back to you, which means he’s coming out of hiding, and despite everything that’s happened, he’s still Anwar’s biggest threat.”
“That seems so random,” Casey said. “I mean, it’s been eleven years since he died. Why would he come back to me now? If Daniil knows everything, he knows that Luke is Erik’s, that Erik left me to protect him, etc. How does you finding someone else change anything?”
“I’m not sure, but this isn’t a coincidence. Jay and I got involved in December. Five months later the two of you are almost killed by someone very close to Daniil. No way it’s a coincidence.”
“Which is why I have to talk to Jesper,” I said firmly.
“If Daniil can turn on us, Jesper definitely could,” Sandor pointed out.
