by Kat Mizera
“The doctor!” Liz nudged me and I was instantly on my feet.
“Your Highness.”
“Please. Just Erik or Mr. Hassani.”
“Mr. Hassani.” The doctor looked tired. “We’ve done our best but—”
“Don’t tell me she’s dead,” I growled, my hands balling into fists.
“No.” He put a hand on my shoulder. “But she’s in a coma. She lost so much blood and stopped breathing for almost a minute. The bullet went through and we had to remove her spleen and repair a piece of her colon, but the surgery went well. It’s the lack of oxygen and the fact that her heart stopped that concerns us. At this point, it’s a waiting game. The next forty-eight hours will tell us more.”
“Can I sit with her?”
“She’ll be in a room in a little while, but yes, you can stay with her.”
“Thank you.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She was alive, but she was in a coma. What the fuck did I have to do to get fate to leave us the hell alone? If Casey’s death was my destiny, I wanted to get the fuck off this ride right now.
I dozed in an uncomfortable chair next to Casey’s hospital bed on and off for the rest of the day and through the night. Nurses came to check on her every hour, causing my eyes to open. Then I would drift off again until the next interruption. Casey slept through it all, her beautiful face even paler than before. But her skin was warm when I held her hand, and I took comfort in that, hoping my own strength would feed hers and bring her out of this.
I’d stupidly gotten on my phone and looked up things like lack of oxygen, stopped heart, and more medically terrifying terms that brought up even more terrifying diagnoses and end results. In the end, I put my phone away and had nightmares every time I closed my eyes. Gun shots and explosions that ended with Casey’s bloody body every damn time, until I finally gave up and went into the bathroom to freshen up. I desperately needed a shower, but I wasn’t leaving her, so the sink would have to do until someone brought me clothes and some toiletries.
“Hey.” Sandor was sitting in the chair I’d been in all night when I came out and I nodded at him.
“I spoke to Luke a little while ago,” he said. “He wants to see his mother. I didn’t know what to tell him.”
“Dad can send the plane for him,” I replied.
“Teal wants to bring the twins too. Just in case.”
“Just in case what?” I demanded. “She’s not going to die.”
“I know. But they don’t know that and they need to see their mother.”
“Yeah, I know.” I sighed. “It’s fine. Whatever you think is best. She’d want her kids nearby.”
“Luke said he’d like to meet you,” he said carefully.
I frowned. “What?”
“Everything is all over the news, Erik. All of it. Your faked death, what Anwar did, Casey saving your life and taking a bullet for you…all of it. Luke isn’t a baby, he’s acutely aware of what’s going on.”
“Shit.”
“No, man, that’s not a bad thing.”
“He’s only eleven. He shouldn’t have to deal with all of this. And knowing that his mother got shot saving me? Jesus, what kind of role model am I?”
“Stop it.” Sandor got to his feet and met my gaze with a steely one of his own. “Don’t you dare make light of what Casey did, as if her sacrifice somehow makes you less of a man or something. That girl fucking loves you more than her own life, so don’t you dare minimize what she did. I’ll kick your ass right here and now if you disrespect her like that.”
I stared at him for a moment, the enormity of both his words and his devotion to her a little overwhelming in my current state of mind.
“You love her,” I said slowly.
He didn’t even flinch. “You’re damn right I do. Not the way you do, but yeah, I love her and I won’t let you make light of what she did. When you meet your son, you tell him his mother was a fucking hero. Because she’s always been mine.” He turned and strode out of the room, leaving me staring after him.
37
Erik
The next two days were a blur of doctors, nurses and a rotating door of guests. Liz, Nick, my father, Ace, Xander, Jesper, Sandor, and even General Sarrano. And the gifts had started coming the day after Casey had been shot. Flowers, baskets of fruit and candy and chocolate, stuffed animals, balloons, and did I mention flowers? We’d had to start taking the cards off and sending bouquets to the rooms of other patients because there wasn’t enough space in Casey’s. They came from friends, family, fans, business associates, and even strangers. I read her every card, every email, every post on her personal and professional social media pages. The world was cheering her on and I felt like a spectator in my own life.
I didn’t know if she could hear me, but I read them anyway, taking time to tell her how much I loved and respected and needed her every chance I got.
“Hey.” Liz came in and leaned against the wall. “How are you?”
“No change.”
“I asked about you, not her.”
“There’s no difference in me as long as there’s no difference in her,” I said lightly, Casey’s hand sandwiched between both of mine.
“Well, there are some people here to see you.”
“I don’t want to see anyone.”
“Your daughter?”
I blinked.
Leni.
Shit!
I hurriedly got to my feet. “Oh, well, yeah, of course. How much does she know?”
“Almost everything.”
“Are they…all…here?”
She smiled. “Yes. Everyone is here. Your father sent the plane and pretty much brought over the whole family and then some. Skye and the girls. Jayson and the twins. Luke, Teal and Matt. Your mother. Sasha. The only person who didn’t come was Chains—his wife went into labor yesterday morning.”
I managed a small smile. “Remind me to send them something, will you?”
“I’ll take care of it.” She put her hand on my arm. “You ready? Leni needs you too, Erik.”
Her words held a lot of meaning and I nodded. “Of course.”
We stepped into the hallway and I spotted familiar blond hair immediately. I looked over at my sweet daughter and held out my arms. She ran and jumped into them, burying her face in my chest. “Daddy, are you really a prince?”
“Yes.” I laughed mildly into her hair. “And yes, that officially makes you the princess you’ve always been anyway!”
“I could have told you that without a press conference.” She giggled.
I hugged her again because I was so happy to see her, but over the top of her head I saw someone else and my heart practically stopped beating. Luke looked so lost and forlorn standing next to Nick, it broke my heart.
“He’s scared you’re not going to love him since you have another family,” Leni whispered to me.
“He told you that?” I asked in confusion.
“He tells me everything—we’re like besties.” She gave me a look. “Now go tell him you love him like you love me.”
I looked over at Luke’s sad face, emotion washing over me in a rush. I kissed Leni’s forehead, feeling blessed that I was raising such a wonderful child. “I’ll be right back, kiddo.”
My heart swelled with love, pride and a million other emotions that I’d kept carefully in check since Luke was born. There had always been pictures, two very short visits orchestrated by Sandor, and not nearly enough videos and anecdotes from Liz and my father. I’d always been kept apprised of my son’s life, but had never truly participated in it. Now, the boy was looking at up me with so much pain and confusion on his face, I just wanted to hug him and never let go.
Luke looked like he was about to cry and he turned to the man who’d raised him. “Dad—I don’t know what to say.”
Nick put an arm around his shoulder. “Everything’s okay, son.” He looked over at me and motioned for me to join them. “You don’t have to do anything you
don’t want to, but you’re pretty blessed to have two dads who love you more than anything. When your biological dad realized his life was in danger, he sat down and asked me to raise you for him. We made that decision based on our mutual love and respect for each other and for your mom, and it didn’t matter whose sperm had created you, but I would be the man to raise you. There’s no jealousy or hurt feelings—I love you as if my blood runs through your veins and Erik loves you because you’re his son. He only gave you up so you would be safe.”
“I’ve just always felt like there was something else that should be in my life,” Luke whispered. “And when I figured out that it was a dad I never knew, I needed to know everything about him! But I don’t want to hurt you, so I was afraid to ask, and then everything was such a mess after the car accident and now Mom…” His voice trailed off as he looked down sadly.
“Son, I’ve watched your father love you from a distance since the day you were born and there’s nothing I want more than the two of you to have a relationship like I’ve had with you. You’re a great kid—smart and kind, thoughtful and compassionate, a good brother to all your sisters, a terrific athlete, respectful to your elders. What more could any parent want?”
Luke’s cheeks turned pink. “Thank you.”
“You ready to meet him?”
It was barely perceptible, but I saw the slight motion of his head that indicated a nod.
“Erik, this is Luke.” Nick hugged the boy a little closer to his side. “Luke, this is your father, Erik al-Hassani.”
“N-nice t-to meet…you.” The boy looked up with eyes almost identical to mine and my world nearly collapsed in on itself. Not in a bad way, because meeting my boy had to be one of the highlights of my life, but it was life-changing and poignantly emotional too. I was as nervous as he was, probably more, but I was the adult and I needed to shake it off because the uncertainty on his face was killing me.
“Hi, Luke.” I reached out to shake his hand. “I know you’re nervous, but I’ll tell you a secret: I’m nervous too. So how about we take a little walk and get to know each other? Does that sound okay?”
“Yes, sir. That sounds…great.” Luke looked at the man he’d always called Dad, and impulsively hugged him. “Thanks, Dad—I love you.”
“I love you too, son.” Nick gave me a brief nod before walking in the other direction and leaving us alone.
We took a back stairway with Ace and Xander keeping their distance about ten feet behind us. For a while we were silent, but when we got to the bottom floor, I didn’t exit the stairwell and sat on the bottom step instead.
“I’d rather we didn’t have our talk in front of the press,” I said.
“Okay.” He sat on the step beside me.
“I’m guessing you have about a thousand questions. You’ve probably seen all kinds of craziness on TV and online.”
“Yeah.” He paused. “It’s so weird to see all this stuff about your life, the part that didn’t include me and Mom. Like with Aunt Liz and Leni and everything in Monte Carlo.”
“I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but I’ve always loved you, son. You know that, don’t you?”
“How could you leave Mom and me if you loved us so much?”
His face was so earnest, so curious but without censure.
“I made myself do it because I thought it was the best way to keep both of you safe. I never stopped loving either of you but I wanted you to have a regular dad, one that didn’t have a target on his back, and I wanted your mom to find someone else to love and take care of her.”
“But it didn’t really work out that way, huh?”
His intuition shouldn’t have surprised me but it did. “Not exactly, no.”
“I met you once, didn’t I?”
“Yes.”
“It was about three or four years ago. We were here in Monte Carlo and Uncle Loco and I got ice cream.”
“Yup.”
“I knew you were important to me even then. Something made me feel different after that.”
“But I don’t want you to be different,” I said gently. “I want you to be what you are—a smart, happy American kid who loves baseball and ice cream and video games.”
Luke rolled his eyes. “So sons of kings can’t like baseball and ice cream and video games?”
“Well, technically I’m only a prince, and while yes, princes can like those things, it’s still different. Life as part of the royal family is different. It’s a huge responsibility to be raised as a prince.”
“But I am a prince, and my dad is going to be king.”
Another surge of emotion caught me off guard. Had he just called me his dad? Jesus, I wasn’t ready for all the feels right now. “We don’t know that I’m going to be king.”
“I do. I’ve always known it.”
“Kiddo, I appreciate the vote of confidence, but we really don’t know anything. The biggest thing was getting King Anwar out of power and now that he’s dead, we can breathe again.”
“That jerk shot my mom.”
“I know. But he’s dead now and that part of this nightmare is over.”
He fidgeted with an invisible speck of dirt on his leg. “Is Mom going to die?”
“God, I hope not.”
“Dad, I’m really scared.”
Oh, god, he did it again. He was killing me with this. Because I’d been dreaming of the day I’d hear him call me Dad since the minute we’d found out Casey was pregnant. “Do you, uh, want to call me Dad too?”
“It seems kind of natural. Is there a rule that I can only call one person Dad?”
“Nope.” I leaned over and kissed the top of his head. “Absolutely not.”
“Dad, I want to be like you—I feel like I know you already. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but—”
“You can be like me, but I don’t want you to be me. I don’t want you to live under the stringent rules of the monarchy. I want you to be like other kids and decide how much of this lifestyle you want when you’re a little older.”
“But I’m your firstborn son, so I’m next in line, right?”
“You are. But my goal is to bring democracy to Limaj and let the people decide what kind of government we have going forward.”
Luke thought about that. “That’s fair. But those kinds of changes aren’t going to happen right away so they’ll be counting on you to guide them, right?”
“You’re very astute for an eleven-year-old,” I said wryly. “But that brings us full circle, son. You’re too young to think about what all of that means and when you’re a little older, we can talk about it. For now, I think you just want your dad. Both of them.”
“I’ve always had a dad,” Luke said after a long moment. “But somehow I knew he wasn’t my real dad. I noticed a long time ago that my parents had blue eyes while mine were green. I know now that it’s biologically possible, but I still knew I was different. I don’t know how. I just always felt like something was missing, and now I know that it was you.”
There was no way for me to hide the tears pooling in my eyes and I pulled him close, too overcome with emotion to think of an appropriate response.
“Are you crying?” he demanded.
“Yeah, kinda.” I swiped at my eyes. “You think dads don’t cry the first time they meet their son after missing out on eleven years of his life?”
“I guess they do.” He hugged me back and we sat that way for a minute.
“We have a lot to talk about, but I’ve been away from your mom a long time. Do you want to go see her?”
He shook his head. “No. I mean, I’m going to, ‘cause I think she needs all of us right now, but I don’t want to.”
“It’s okay, kiddo. I’ll be with you and even though she hasn’t woken up yet, I know she can hear us, and knowing we’re there for her is what’s going to help her get better.”
He looked like he was going to protest, but instead he just nodded and got to his feet. We walked back up the stairs
and into Casey’s room.
38
Casey
I was so drowsy but a new voice was making it hard to drift back into the comfort of sleep. I knew Erik was here, holding my hand and reading me weird messages that didn’t make a lot of sense, but I drew strength from his warmth and his voice, so I kept going back to sleep. But this voice was different. Younger. And nervous.
Luke.
My son’s name flitted through my mind briefly but it was enough to jolt me into awareness. Where was I and why was Luke here? Were we in Limaj?
The very thought of that was enough to make my eyes pop open and I blinked a few times, trying to focus on the blurry figures in the room.
“…she’s so pale,” Luke was saying. “Why is she so pale?”
“Her body has been through major trauma and that’s what happens when you’re sick. It doesn’t mean anything, though. She’s healing, son.”
“I hate seeing her like this,” he whispered. “Why doesn’t she wake up?”
“I know. I hate it too.” Erik wrapped his arm around Luke as the boy burst into tears.
“Hey.” At least I tried to say that. I’m not sure what came out, but whatever it was, it was enough for Erik’s eyes to snap to mine over the top of Luke’s head.
“Honey?” His voice was soft and he gently moved toward me, Luke still clinging to him.
“What?”
Luke’s head came up now too and I found myself staring into identical pairs of green eyes.
“Mom?” He held out a tentative hand, and though it was a struggle, I somehow found the strength to take it.
“Hi.” This time I just whispered and it came out a bit clearer.
“You need water,” Luke said automatically.
“I’m going to get a nurse,” Erik said, hurrying to the door.
I wanted to yell for him to stop, because I had a feeling the room would be swarming with doctors and nurses in a minute, and I just wanted to talk to my son, but I couldn’t stop him. Luke wasn’t letting go of my hand, though, so I held on, my eyes finding Erik’s every few minutes as nurses fussed over me and a doctor examined me.
