She’d be fine.
He wandered around the silent house for a few minutes before he finally discovered her, lying on the couch reading. Her legs stretched out against the gray material, bare beneath the short black shorts, nearly wiped his mind clear. Damn, she was the sexiest thing alive.
“Hey, Tanner.” Her greeting was soft as she set the book down and smiled.
He sat beside her on the couch and ran a hand up her leg, grinning when she sucked in a breath of air. “Hey, sweetheart.”
Her hands wrapped around his neck and trailed into his hair. “I missed you.” She pressed her body against his, brushing her lips across his ear when she spoke.
Damn, she gave as good as she got. Tanner shook his head slightly, not wanting to forget to tell her he’d be taking off in a couple of days. Not that she’d mind. “I need to tell you something. I’m heading out Wednesday. Probably in the afternoon.”
She pulled back, resting her arms on his shoulders, and something indecipherable flickered in her eyes. “Another trip? I thought you were clear for the rest of the month.”
“No, not a business trip.” He tugged her close again, his mouth leaving tiny kisses on her neck.
But she sat back again and he frowned. “Then what is it?”
Tanner dropped his hands from her waist. “Wyatt. He’s been asking me for almost two weeks to drive out to Nashville and watch his competition. He says it’s important and he really wants me there.”
She scooted down the couch far enough to slide off behind him. “Got it, Tanner.”
He watched her retreating back as she hopped up the stairs, completely confused by what just happened.
Chapter
Thirty-One
Izzy
Izzy leaned against the doorframe and grinned. “You were the last person I expected today.”
“That man of yours certainly still has some surprises up his sleeve, I guess.” Her best friend beamed with pride, and Izzy knew it had probably killed her to keep this from her all week. She lifted the garment bag in her right hand. “And really good taste in clothes, if I may say so myself. I totally peeked.”
Izzy laughed and stepped to the side to let Caroline through the door. “So you’re my keeper for the day?”
Caroline brought several bags in with her and walked into the kitchen, laying the garment bag across the back of one of the chairs and reaching into one of the paper sacks to pull out champagne. “I prefer to think of it as your partner in crime.”
She grabbed the bottle from her friend and stared at it. “Was this your addition or his?”
Brows up, Caroline shook her head slowly. “Nope, Iz, everything here is directly from the big guy himself.” She gestured with a hand. “I know I’ve joked about the Prince Charming thing since the early days, but…”
Izzy laughed again. Ever since they first officially met in that dark and scary place called NICU, Caroline had often called Tanner “Prince Charming,” thoroughly annoying her own husband in the process. “Yeah, that MBA of his, he doesn’t leave anything to chance.”
Nothing irritated her more than the sudden onslaught of tears. She was so tired of crying. Hurting. And missing Tanner more than she ever thought possible. But the image Wyatt showed her last night was still so fresh in her mind and right now she needed nothing more than to talk to her best friend about it.
“Every time I think I know the answer and I think I know what the right thing to do is, the rug is pulled out from under me.” She sat down on one of the chairs, and Caroline’s arm immediately came around her shoulder as she slid into a chair she pulled right next to her.
Sniffling, she took a deep breath. “Wyatt stopped by last night. He said he had something to show me, something to tell me, something Tanner got wrong.” She lifted her hands and offered a mirthless laugh. “And it changed every freaking thing I thought I knew.”
“Izzy, I don’t…I don’t understand.” Caroline shook her head. “Things were bad when I talked to you last. What in the world could Wyatt have said that would change anything?”
“Wyatt didn’t make him leave.” Speaking the words made them even more real. Even more meaningful. Giving her heart even more hope and causing even more fear. “Tanner…one of the first things he told me…one of the things he thought happened was that Wyatt saved the day and pulled him away before he could do anything…” She couldn’t say it even though she knew it hadn’t happened.
Izzy explained the entire story to her friend in detail, feeling relieved to share everything but also even more confused. She looked at Caroline. “What do I do? I was so sure before I saw the pictures that we would be able to go back to normal, well, normal before he started working so much. But when I saw those I just…” She sighed heavily. “I couldn’t fathom being with Tanner, living with him, seeing him every day, hugging him, kissing him, and not being in pain.”
“And now everything Wyatt told you and showed you made you reconsider.”
She shrugged. “Yes? But even before that, he has spent the entire week doing everything he promised he would do. He showed up every day he knew I had class scheduled and watched the kids. He didn’t push me, he didn’t beg, and he didn’t touch me even though I knew it was killing him.” She folded her arms on the table and buried her face in them. “Can’t you just tell me what to do?”
Caroline laughed and rubbed her back gently. “I can’t do that, but I can help you get ready, and the first step is for you to get in the shower.”
Izzy groaned her discontent but obediently climbed the stairs, mumbling along the way.
Nearly an hour later, Caroline held a hand mirror out with the practiced flourish of a professional make-up artist. “I declare you ready for Prince Charming.”
She carefully stood on the spindly high heels of the blush-colored shoes that matched the short lace dress Tanner had sent with Caroline. She grabbed both of her friend’s hands. “It’s stupid to be nervous, right?”
A calming smile spread across Caroline’s face. “It’s completely reasonable for you to be nervous. This is bigger than when you agreed to marry him. You have to decide if you can trust him again. There’s really no doubt you still love him, is there?”
Izzy shook her head vigorously and the teardrop pearl earrings tapped against her jaw. “I never stopped.”
“I think,” she ventured slowly, “trust is so much harder to rebuild and, right now, for you two, maybe even more important than love. You can love him with everything you have, but if you can’t trust him again, you’ll have a miserable marriage.”
Before she could respond, the doorbell rang, and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Five years, Caroline. Five freaking years we’ve lived in this house and that whole time the boys just barged in. Now they decide to start using their manners.”
“How do you know it’s one of his brothers?” She laughed as she helped Izzy navigate the stairs without falling.
Izzy grinned when she spied Wyatt and Connor standing on the other side of the door. “I know Tanner.”
Connor dropped a kiss on her powdered cheek and informed her he was on childcare duty, and Caroline offered one more hug before pushing her out the door.
Wyatt offered his elbow to her and led her to Tanner’s obnoxious yellow truck. “Your chariot, madam.” He bowed dramatically as he opened the door, and Izzy laughed.
An hour into the drive, she looked at her brother-in-law. “Not gonna tell me where we’re going, are you?”
Wyatt chuckled, resting his wrist on the steering wheel and propping the other arm on the truck door. “Nope. I was threatened with multiple forms of violence if I tell.” His features sobered. “For what it’s worth, he really is sorry, Iz.”
“I know.” After several beats, she looked at Wyatt and studied his profile. “Don’t you think it’s time to try something else?”
He glanced at her with a frown before quickly returning his eyes to the road. “You mean give up bull riding?”
She shook her head, frowning slightly. “No, I mean give up your self-appointed role as the rebel of the Carlisle family. Stop running from whatever you’re running from and acting like the jerk you think everyone expects you to be. Because that’s not who you are.”
His jaw tightened. “What if it is?”
“Don’t insult me.” She scoffed. “I’ve known you for too long and seen way too much. I don’t know why you think you need to act like this, but I know that’s not the real you.”
Something in his face softened, and Izzy saw an expression there she’d never seen before. “I’m glad someone thinks so.”
***
Kicking the suitcase standing against the closet door would be childish, right?
Izzy huffed and crossed her arms. For someone with an MBA, Tanner was really stupid sometimes. Couldn’t he tell she didn’t want him to leave? Couldn’t he tell that the fact he managed to clear his schedule for Wyatt and some rodeo in Nashville but couldn’t seem to come home on time for dinner just one night a week hurt not just her but the kids too? Couldn’t he see just how much she missed him?
A small voice at the back of her mind gently asked: When is the last time you told him? When was the last time she didn’t just simply rearrange everything to fit Tanner?
That question caused her heart to ache even more than the others. There were days she felt like nothing more than a babysitter and housekeeper and cook. Sure, Tanner would curl against her at night, whenever he finally came home. Yes, he would run his hands over her body and ignite the desire that hadn’t cooled over their years of marriage. And he would still whisper his love for her before falling into a nearly comatose sleep, but that wasn’t enough.
Where was her best friend? Where was the guy who teased her and negotiated with her and used his hands to endlessly torment her while she was making dinner? Where was the Tanner who would put in a stupid movie they both hated just so they could snuggle with each other and make out like teenagers?
This cruise control they’d been operating on for the past three years really wasn’t cutting it anymore.
She glared at the suitcase again, and a new idea started to form in her brain. He said he’d be home Friday evening. Her brow smoothed out and her frown curved upward.
Izzy captured her bottom lip between her teeth. She reached in the pocket of her denim shorts and dialed her mother-in-law.
Tracy answered on the third ring. “Hey, Izzy, honey.”
“Hey, Mom, listen, I hate to ask this of you guys, but do you think Ava and Noah could spend the night Friday night? Tanner’s going out to Wyatt’s last show, and I was hoping we could have his first night back alone together.” Her cheeks heated. “Only if you guys don’t mind, that is. I…”
Laughter trickled over the line. “Oh, Izzy, you know we love having Noah and Ava.”
Her eyes landed on the suitcase once again, and this time she smiled. “Thanks so much. I’ll drop them off after lunch Friday.”
All too soon Tanner strode into their bedroom and the crooked grin she loved so much easily fell into place. “Damn, sweetheart. It’s not fair for you to look so damn hot when I don’t have time to take advantage of it.”
A wave of bitterness rose up at his comment. Oh, really? She hadn’t done a single thing differently. Not a stitch of her clothing was new. And she certainly hadn’t lost the extra fifteen pounds she was still carrying after the twins’ birth.
She bit back every word and kissed his cheek instead. “Call me when you get there and drive safely. And make sure you don’t do anything Wyatt would do.”
Tanner laughed and pulled out the handle of his suitcase to its full extension. “You got it, sweetheart.”
As soon as she heard the throaty sounds of his truck’s engine, she sent a quick text message to her brother-in-law, a small half smile curving her lips when he answered within moments.
She gave Tanner a strong head start, nearly thirty minutes, before she poked her head in the playroom. “Hey guys, I need to run to the store for a little bit, but Uncle Connor is coming over to play with you, okay?”
Both kids cheered in excitement. Tanner’s brothers may be immature, but the twins adored each of their uncles. And probably were already thinking of all the ways they could manipulate the tender-hearted Connor into feeding them ice cream, cookies, and all the other treats normally off limits before dinner.
As soon as he arrived, she climbed in the driver’s seat of her SUV and pointed the vehicle towards the mall. “He always did like when I bought new lingerie.” She grinned as she turned from their driveway onto the main road.
Her heart felt light and hopeful for the first time in a long time. As soon as he came home, they’d have a long talk and he’d get a very nice reward.
Chapter
Thirty-Two
Tanner
Tanner shifted on his feet uncomfortably and looked at his watch again. Yeah, he was happy his brother was taking his time and driving carefully, just as he was told, but he was dying a slow and agonizing death waiting for Belle.
Was there a chance in hell she could forgive him? Did Wyatt’s little intervention make a difference? Or had she already made up her mind and nothing he did, said, or gave her would change that?
He felt like he was the main contestant on that ridiculous reality show Dean’s best friend liked to watch and he was waiting to hand out the final rose.
As soon as he saw Belle standing at the top of the wooden stairs, his breath caught in his throat. His palms grew wet with sweat as she approached, and he wiped them on his black dress pants.
“Damn, you look beautiful.” He breathed the words when she reached him. Not at all part of the speech he’d spent most of the night rehearsing but he couldn’t help himself. The lace dress hugged the curves that he had memorized. And the soft chocolate curls hanging over her left shoulder made his fingers itch to touch them.
At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to bury his nose into the silky tresses and inhale the fresh scent of apples and summer and Belle, but he had far too much to say.
She looked down, and pink tinged her cheeks. “Thanks. You, uh, decided to go low-key, I see.” She waved a hand to encompass the Lower Cascade Falls, roaring behind where they stood beneath the white pergola Tanner and his brothers had set up on the observation deck.
Soft twinkle lights were twisted around each leg and around the periphery of the structure and glowed in the rapidly darkening night. Red rose petals covered the cement pad, and alternating red and white candles flickered along the railing of the deck.
Over the top? Maybe. What Belle deserved? Not even close.
He closed his eyes for a brief moment before fixing them on their joined hands. “Thank you for waiting until now to make a decision and for even showing up here tonight. I swear, sweetheart, I wouldn’t have blamed you if you left me standing here alone.”
She nodded slightly and gave him the barest of smiles. “This is gorgeous, Tanner. And I love that you picked here.” She laughed lightly. “I will never understand how you manage to set this stuff up, though.”
He grinned then. “Some secrets are meant to be kept.”
Belle’s eyes filled with tears, and he swallowed back his own. They had so much between them that was special and unique and only theirs, and he simply couldn’t imagine a world where he couldn’t utter a relatively innocuous phrase and have her understand.
“I’m sorry, Belle.” He felt like he’d uttered those words more over the past forty-three days than he had his entire life. “I’m sorry I ignored you. I’m sorry I took our family for granted. And I am sorrier than I can possibly express that I violated your trust and stole something that was damn near sacred.”
“Tanner, wait.”
She held a hand against his lips, and his heart stopped beating. She wasn’t going to let him apologize. She wasn’t going to listen. She was finished with them and tired of his pathetic attempts at making things right.
He
’d done too much. Screwed up too badly. This was the final nail in the coffin of his marriage.
Lost in his own head, and so certain nothing would change, he barely registered the feeling of her hand sliding from his mouth to the back of his neck. Or her body pressing against his. Or her other hand twining around his waist.
“Somewhere along the way, we lost us. And I don’t just mean us as a couple, I mean you and me.” Her eyes locked on his. “I’ve realized the past few weeks how much I didn’t just miss you, I missed me.”
Belle leaned her forehead against his and sighed softly. “It’s not all your fault, Tanner. We both lost sight of what’s really important. And I…I forgot who you were. You’re not my dad. You’ve never been like him. Tanner, I never should have measured you with his yardstick.”
Well, hell.
He gripped her hips tightly. “I will regret what I did for the rest of my life, sweetheart, but I am so damn glad I got a well-deserved wakeup call to put my priorities back in place.”
He dropped to one knee before her. When he heard her choked sob, his stomach flipped. Was that a good sign? “Belle, I don’t deserve a second chance. The last time we stood here, I made a promise not to work too much. I made a promise to be faithful to you. I made a promise to put you first in my life, and I broke every single one of those.”
Her hand clapped over her mouth, and she sucked in a shuddered breath.
“I know I don’t deserve it, sweetheart,” he repeated, “but I will never again take for granted one second with you if you can possibly find a way to forgive me.”
Belle pulled him to his feet and pressed her lips against his. “I forgave you long before I got here.”
***
His heart thudded against his ribcage, and he cursed himself. He sure as hell wasn’t a virgin and this wasn’t his first time with Belle.
But it kind of was.
Meant to be Kept Page 22
