by Nikki Ash
“I know it’s not fair, Princess. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do because it’s what’s best for us. Your mommy loves you so much and she has you go to bed at eight o’clock because you need your sleep. You want to be a fighter, right?” She nods.
“Well, if you want to be a fighter, you have to get plenty of sleep so you can grow. Did you know we grow in our sleep? So, you need your sleep.”
I know she gets it, but she wouldn’t be my Bella if she didn’t still state her case. That’s where her passion comes in. When she believes in something, she fights for it. I can’t even imagine what she’ll be like when she hits her teenage years.
“Okay, Daddy, but I still miss you and want to say good night to you.”
It hits me then that we have technology, and as annoying as it can be, it can also be very convenient. “How about we compromise? Any time I’m not home by bedtime, you can use your mom’s phone to Face Time me on my phone so we can see each other and say good night?”
Her entire face lights up and she sits up straighter like I just gave her free reign at a toy store. “Okay, deal! Just make sure you answer.”
I give her a kiss on her forehead and say with absolute conviction, “I will always answer your phone calls. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I will also make sure I’m here for you, I promise. Now, let’s read you that book.”
When I finish reading the book, Bella is passed out, holding onto my arm like she needs it to breathe. It doesn’t matter what I have going on, I need to make sure the only time I’m not here to tuck her into bed is if I’m away. Fuck, I can’t believe in a couple weeks I have to leave. It’ll be the first time I’ve been away from Bella and Liz since they moved in here. Sometimes it feels like I need them to breathe.
I walk downstairs to the living room to find Liz curled up on the couch reading, and I almost feel bad taking her away from her book but I need some quality time with my woman. She sees me coming toward her and puts the iPad away.
“Hey baby, I thought you were going to be gone longer. Is everything okay?”
I sit next to Liz’s feet, dragging her body to me until she’s sitting on my lap. Then I wrap my arms around her body and drink in her scent. This right here is home, yet looking at this woman, I feel like I barely know her. Yes, I know the person she was when we met five years ago and the person she is today. She was and still is fun, and sexy, and so damn smart. She’s an amazing mother and friend, and she has the biggest, kindest heart. I mean, what woman goes to the man’s funeral who almost killed her daughter?
She cooks dinner for us every night even though I know it isn’t her cup of tea, and she works hard at the gym even though she knows how much money I have. Liz could easily stay home all day and let me take care of her, but she wants to earn her own way and be equal. What I don’t know is the person I missed out on for the last five years, the woman who was forced to grow up at eighteen because she was pregnant so young but still determined to make it through college. I want to know all about that woman.
“Tell me about the last five years.”
She seems a bit confused at my request. “What do you want to know?”
“I want to know everything. I want to know all about your pregnancy and Bella, every age, every milestone, and every detail. I hate that I missed out on so much, and I feel like no matter how much I try to catch up, I’m too damn far behind.”
“Um, okay. Well, after I found out I was pregnant, Kayla started coming with me to all my appointments. From the minute she found out, she never missed one. We would make sure they were on a day neither of us had school. I think the nurses and doctors thought we were lesbians. I had morning sickness for the first trimester, which totally sucked, but then it went away and the rest of my pregnancy was smooth sailing, thank God. At twenty weeks, I could’ve found out the sex, but Kayla wanted to know so badly I decided to wait. It was so much fun driving her crazy. She couldn’t even shop like she wanted to because everything had to be in neutral colors.”
She laughs through all of this and I’m glad she had Kayla and has good memories, but I hate those memories don’t include me. I cuddle her harder, needing her closer to me. “I wish I could have been there. I would’ve held your hair back when you were sick, and we definitely would’ve found out the sex of the baby. I would’ve gone crazy not knowing how to prepare. I know Kayla was there, but I hate that it wasn’t me.”
“I know, baby, but you can’t think like that or you will go crazy from guilt about something you can’t change. Okay, let’s see… At forty-two weeks pregnant, they induced me because Bella didn’t want to come out, and after forty-seven hours in labor they had to do an emergency caesarean because her heart rate dropped. When they took her out, at first, I couldn’t hear her crying. I kept asking Kayla if she was okay and I could tell by Kayla’s answers something was wrong, but they had a sheet put up, so I couldn’t see.
“When Bella came out she wasn’t breathing so they had to pump oxygen into her lungs. Finally, she took her first breath and started to cry, and it felt like my world was complete. They brought her over to me and announced she was a girl. After a few days, we both went home and then the fun began.”
I know she’s trying to make light of the situation by joking, but I can’t even imagine how hard it was for her and Kayla to raise a baby on their own at eighteen. I don’t say anything though, because I like listening to her talk. Instead I give her a kiss and she continues.
“The first year was exhausting. Bella had Colic, which is like acid reflux, kind of. So, she had to get put on a special formula, and I wanted to breastfeed, but I couldn’t pump, and I had to go back to school. I had her in the middle of the semester, so I only took off the days I was in the hospital. I couldn’t afford daycare and I didn’t want her to be with strangers so Kayla and I made sure our schedules were opposite, so one of us was always home with Bella.
“My mom came to visit for a few weeks after Bella came home. She slept in my room, and I slept in the third bedroom with Bella.” She smiles absently like she is reliving those memories. What I would give to be in her head and heart, and see all of her memories firsthand.
She pulls out her phone and opens a photo app. “I lost all our photos and such in the fire, but luckily, I have all Bella’s pictures saved digitally.”
She begins flipping through them showing me Bella as a newborn, Bella at one, two, three years old, Halloweens, Christmases, and birthdays. Most are of just Bella, but once in a while I see a picture of Kayla and Liz as well—it’s like watching them all grow up together. When she gets to the last one, she has silent tears falling down her face.
I swipe them away and turn her to face me. “Why the tears, baby girl?”
“I love looking at pictures of Bella, but looking at them with you feels bittersweet. I have such mixed emotions because I feel like I should feel bad I messed up with the birth control but at the same time I don’t want to feel bad because my screw up got me Bella and I would never wish to not have her. Then I feel bad that you didn’t get to experience any of those memories, but at the same time I wouldn’t trade those memories for the world because I created them with Bella. Does that make sense?”
“Yes, it makes perfect sense, and I’m thankful for your screw up. I can’t imagine not having Bella in our lives.” I kiss her forehead and we sit together for a few minutes just enjoying each other’s company. I don’t know what comes over me but suddenly I blurt out, “I want to have a baby.”
She looks at me like I’m crazy so I continue. “I missed so much with Bella and she’s already almost five years old. I want to experience all of that with you. I know we aren’t married, but we’re living together and we’ll be together for the rest of our lives. I’m an only child and would have loved to have a sibling. I bet Bella would love having a little brother or sister, plus we have plenty of rooms here. I can move the gym to the garage or we can move. We can buy a bigger house with a bigger yard…”
“Whoa, whoa. Slow down, there. Are you sure, Cooper? I mean… you went from not wanting a family to having an insta-family. Are you sure you want to add another baby to the mix?”
My heart sinks. “You don’t want to have another baby with me?”
“Of course, I do! I just want you to be sure. With Bella, you didn’t have a choice. You’ve accepted her from day one and you two have an amazing relationship already. I know you’ll be an amazing father to any other babies we have. I just want you to be sure. I actually have to go get my shot this week because I forgot after the whole fire situation. If this is what you really want I can skip the shot, or I can get it and we can think more about it.”
“No, don’t get the shot. Let’s let nature take its course.”
She smiles and turns to straddle my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Okay, baby. We’ll let nature take its course.”
I lift her up by her ass and begin walking her to our bedroom. “I say we go practice baby-making right now.”
“I agree,” she says through her giggles as I slam the door behind us.
Thirty
Liz
It’s Monday morning and everybody leaves tomorrow night to go to Boulder. Well, everybody besides me that is. I’ll be here running the gym even though it pretty much runs itself. I walk into my office and see a huge bouquet of pink roses. The note on the front reads:
Pack an overnight bag and be ready to go at 6 p.m.
-Coop
Hmm… Well, okay then. The rest of the day I attempt to crunch numbers, pay bills, and print receipts, but I can’t focus because I’m too intrigued about tonight. At one thirty, just as I’m about to give up and head out to get Bella, Kayla comes walking in shaking her head.
“Where do you think you’re going? Home I hope, to get ready for your romantic night with Cooper.”
“How did you know about that? I’m going to get Bella and then going home.”
“Nope, not happening. I already have her stuff Cooper packed and snuck out this morning. She’s coming to my place for a sleepover. I’m getting her from school and you’re going home to get ready. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with an over-exaggerated wink that reminds me of Marilyn Monroe, she exits as quickly as she came in.
Cooper gets home around five o’clock and runs up to jump in the shower while I finish getting ready. When he’s done, we walk outside and waiting for us is a cab.
When I go to ask him a question, he raises two fingers to my mouth to shush me. We get in and he gives the driver an address to go to. When we pull up to a BMW dealership I’m confused. “I know you weren’t big on relationships, but surely you know that a car dealership isn’t considered romantic.”
He laughs and shakes his head, while grabbing my hand, kissing it, and then pulling me along.
The gentleman manning the door asks how he can help us and Cooper tells him he’s picking up a purchase. He gives him his name and the gentleman directs us to the pick-up area. Cooper signs a few papers and then is handed the keys and pointed in the direction we need to go.
When we get to the vehicle, it’s a beautiful midnight blue SUV. I’m not sure why he’s getting another SUV, but it’s his money so who am I to judge. I go to get in the passenger seat, but he cuts me off before I can get in.
“Would you mind driving?”
Okay, I never drive. I mean, I can drive, but Cooper is one of those guys who insists the man drives everywhere.
“Sure,” I say, taking the keys. We get in and I inhale the new car scent.
“Do you like it?” he asks, sounding almost nervous like whether I like it’s important to him. I look around taking the vehicle in. It has pretty grey leather seats and touch screen everything. It has a built-in DVD player and TV in the back seat. It’s a dream car. What’s not to like?
“Yeah, it’s a beautiful car. Are you getting rid of the Rover?”
He bites his bottom lip then pulls it out from between his teeth slowly. I’m kind of worried he’s going to draw blood.
“No… this car is for you.”
“What? For me? Cooper. No, you didn’t.” I should have seen this coming!
Damn, this thoughtful man.
“I did, but hear me out. I have to go away and I get you’re okay with your car, but I’m not. I let it go because I’ve been around and if I’m not, one of the other guys usually are. So, if your piece-of-shit car breaks down we can handle it. However, we’re all leaving and I need to know my girls are safe. It even has roadside assistance so you can get a tow truck or with one press of a button call someone to come fix your flat tire for you. You can even call to get gas delivered in case you run out.”
I want to be upset, but when he looks at me with those cute puppy dog eyes begging me to understand, I don’t have the heart to hurt him. I know his heart is in the right place and he genuinely cares about our safety.
I take his hand in mine, bringing it up to my lips, and kiss his knuckles. “Thank you, Coop. This was very sweet of you. I love the car and I love you.”
I think I just put him in shock. He was obviously gearing up for a fight, because he doesn’t even know how to respond.
“Well, good. I’m glad you like it. I love you, too.”
He gives me directions to where we’re going and we end up at the Venetian hotel on the strip. We pull up and valet park. Is it weird that I totally don’t want to hand over my new baby to this stranger? Cooper sees my reluctance and whispers, “It’s insured.” Whatever.
We enjoy a great Mexican dinner at the restaurant and then we stroll over to one of the bakeries and share my favorite dessert, Crème brûlée. When we’re both stuffed, we make our way to the counter where Cooper checks us into a room.
“You didn’t have to do this. We could have gone home. Bella is at Kayla’s you know.”
“Please don’t argue about this, baby girl. I’m leaving for four days and I want to give my woman a romantic night away from the house.” How can I argue with that?
Once we’re in the room, the door barely shuts before he’s on me. He pushes me against the wall and begins to kiss me. God, I will never get tired of how remarkable this man can kiss. His hand lifts my chin and then his mouth is on me. He sucks lightly on my bottom lip and then on my top, asking for access. I open up for him and his tongue swirls in my mouth, his kisses feeling like the most potent drug. I honestly think it’s possible to get high off Cooper’s touch.
He moves his body closer, if that’s even possible, and within seconds I’m shamelessly writhing against him, begging for him. He grinds his erection into me, and I moan loudly into his mouth. The need gets stronger, and suddenly we’re all mouths and teeth and hands, and it’s just too much.
I pull his shirt up and he yanks it off the rest of the way. He pulls down my dress and I kick it off. His hands grip my panties and I feel him rip them off me. I grab his belt to unbuckle it and his jeans fall to his feet, exposing his incredible erection.
The growing need for each other exceeds our ability to make it to the bed. I wrap my leg around his waist and he lifts me up, wrapping my legs around either side of him. Once he has me steady, he thrusts his hard cock up into me. There’s no foreplay. There’s no need. I’m wet, he’s hard, and I need this man more than air.
My back hits the wall hard as he continues to pump into me. I lower my head to kiss and suck on the side of his neck and he tastes delectable, better than any dessert.
He hits deep inside me over and over again, the pleasure inside me increasing with every thrust. “Fucking hell, Coop. Right there. Don’t stop,” I pant. My pussy is clenching tight and I know I’m getting close.
A few more thrusts and I’m flying high, my orgasm exploding around his cock. Cooper picks up the pace and with a grunt he comes inside me. As he comes to a stop, both of us breathing heavy, he looks at me, beaming, and I melt inside. This man is my entire world.
We shower together and then get into bed with him spooning me from behind.
He plays with my hair for a few minutes, combing it with his fingers, then stops. I think he’s asleep until he lets out a heavy sigh. “I hate leaving you guys tomorrow.”
“Cooper, it’s going to be fine.”
“I hope so, baby girl. I hope so.” A few minutes later, I hear his soft snores, but I can’t sleep. I just don’t understand why he’s so worried about leaving us. I have a feeling this all stems back to his parents, with his dad being away often and his mom cheating. At some point, he’s going to have to believe in us, that we’re not his parents and we aren’t going to go down the road they did. I guess all I can do until he does, is believe in us enough for the both of us.
Thirty-One
Cooper
I wake up in the middle of the night to feel Liz’s body rubbing up against mine as she moves a bit in her sleep. I don’t know why it is, but I have this incessant need to show her she’s mine and ruin her for any other man. No, that’s a lie, I know why it is. I have it in my head that if I ruin her for other man she’ll never leave me. My goal is to leave her with her feeling me between her legs for the next four days so she won’t forget about me and seek comfort elsewhere.
Gently moving the sheets off her body, I move my hand to her pussy and slide one finger in and then another. She’s still half asleep, but she’s starting to move. I spread open her lips just enough to wrap my mine around her clit and pull it. Her body begins to writhe against my fingers and mouth, wanting more.
“Fuck, baby, you taste so good,” I whisper as I go back for more. With my fingers still pumping slowly deep inside her warmth, I start to suck hard on her clit then soothe it with my tongue. Her legs tense, telling me it’s going to be a quick but strong orgasm. Her body shakes and then her legs tremble around me as she softly moans my name.
