by Nikki Ash
“Sure,” I say, pulling my covers up so she can lie down next to me. I continue flipping through the channels until I come across Titanic.
“Wanna watch this?”
“Sure, gotta love a movie that at least portrays the truth about love.” She laughs at her own joke. I look at her quizzically not understanding, so she explains.
“You know… Rose chose to love Jack… She chose love and what did it get her? Heartbroken.”
“Maybe so, but during the short amount of time together she got to experience a powerful, unconditional love. It was worth the heartache in my opinion.”
Kayla yawns and lays her head on my shoulder. “No amount of love is worth getting your heartbroken. Plus, she completely disappointed and alienated her family. What she did was selfish.”
I put my arm around her and stroke her hair. Within a minute, I can hear her softly snoring. The more I get to know Kayla the more I realize her anti-love feelings go hand-in-hand with her relationship with her parents. I’ve watched her with Bella and Liz and can see how selfless she is. There is more to this story, and I have a feeling Kayla rejecting love is more about others and less about herself.
Six
Bentley
It’s UFC Fight Night, and I’m fighting. Everybody is at the fight and by everybody I’m referring to Cooper, Kaden, Caleb, Hayley, who is my medic for the fight, and Kayla. Several other guys from Cooper’s Fight Club are here as well and Kayla is working with a few of them who are still coming back from an injury since she’s the physical therapist for the training facility.
The last couple weeks have been calm compared to the week’s prior. Kayla and I have settled into a comfortable truce. Since the night she fell asleep in my room, she has slowly come around and we actually spend time together. It’s usually just working out at the gym or watching TV and Caleb is almost always with us, but it’s progress, so I’ll take it. Also, Cooper and Liz are officially a couple and are heading forward full force. Kayla and I even babysit Bella together while they had a romantic night away just the two of them. I’m hoping that with Liz opening her heart and giving love a chance, Kayla will see can as well.
Of course, once we got to Boulder, shit got crazy. Because what’s a trip without drama? Cooper was missing Liz and saw a photo of her all over another guy at a club that she and Ashley were at—Ashley’s also a mom and is a teach. His caveman ass flew back to Vegas to claim his woman and luckily it was all a misunderstanding. Now he’s back and I’m about to fight against Dante Cobalt. He’s an up and coming fighter in the circuit and is currently undefeated with a record of seven-and-zero. My record isn’t perfect, but I have more fights under my belt with a record of nine-and-four. We’re the main event for the evening so people are going nuts. A lot of people are cheering for Cobalt, but I have a decent fan base, and after I beat his ass tonight, I have no doubt it will grow even more. Regardless, it’s a fucking rush being here.
Cooper and Caleb are standing in the corner of the octagon and I’m in the middle facing Cobalt. We bump fists, and then the referee goes over the rules, separates us, and say says, “Ready, ready, fight” and moves out of the way.
Cobalt immediately opens with a leg kick. I see it coming and block it. He does another leg kick and this time I’m not fast enough. He gets the meat of my leg and it hurts like a bitch.
While he’s good at striking, I’ve practiced Brazilian-Ju-Jitsu my entire life and know that to win I need to get him on the ground because that’s where my strengths are. He has obviously studied me and knows that his only way of keeping up is to keep striking. I back up a bit to give myself some room.
He comes at me with a strike to my face and grazes my temple. I attempt to strike back but he hits me again right below my eye and I can feel the blood beginning to trickle down. I quickly strike back, rocking and tagging him and he hits the ground. I’ve got him. It’ll be over in the next thirty seconds. I immediately jump on top of him and start throwing blows to his head. He attempts to cover his face, but it’s over. The ref jumps between us and calls the fight. The announcer declares me the champion and the crowd goes fucking crazy. Women are screaming my name, but I only have my eyes on one woman—Kayla.
Cooper and Caleb run out to hug me as they raise my fist in the air, and then Hayley is pulling me toward her to clean up my cuts. I’ve won many times, but for some reason this win feels different. It feels like everything is finally coming together. If I could just get Kayla to give us a chance, everything would be perfect.
* * *
“To Bentley!” We’re all at a local club partying it up. I don’t even know what round we’re on at this point and it doesn’t even fucking matter. I won my fight and it feels damn good. Kayla has been eyeing me all night and I’m afraid that soon I won’t be able to resist her.
Before I can think further on the subject, she’s handing me a shot and sprinkling salt on my wrist. She brings my wrist up to her mouth and licks it slowly. My dick goes hard at the sight of her tongue lapping my skin. She takes the shot out of my hand and downs it, and then takes a lime and puts it into her mouth to sucking it. Jesus. She’s going to be the death of me.
She closes the space between us and pulls my neck down to her mouth. After sucking briefly on my neck, she whispers into my ear, “Let’s get out of here.”
I pull back and assess her. Her eyes aren’t dilated and she’s not sweating, so I don’t think she’s wasted, but I ask anyway because I know I’m fucked up right now.
“Are you drunk?”
She smiles wide and says, “Not nearly enough. Let’s go.”
She grabs my hand and pulls me down the hallway into the ladies’ room. I should probably stop this, but I want her so badly. I don’t think there’s anything I wouldn’t give this woman. The word no doesn’t seem to exist when it comes to her.
She hops onto the sink and spreads her legs. Her short dress rides up, and when I bend down, I have a clear view of her bare pink pussy. The fucking woman isn’t wearing anything under her dress. I pull her to the edge of the sink and begin stroking her clit with my tongue tasting her juices. She’s already wet. I don’t stand a chance against her, and she knows it. I insert a finger into her core and then another. She’s riding my fingers while I continue to lick and suck on her clit.
“Damn, baby, you taste like heaven.”
She doesn’t say anything, but moans and moves her ass, riding my face with her pussy. I insert one more finger deep inside her and hit the spot I know gets her off. It does exactly what I predict, and within seconds she’s coming all over my fingers and tongue. I suck her on her clit, drinking her juices while she comes down from her orgasm.
She grabs my shirt collar and pulls me up to her face.
“Fuck me, Bentley. Please, I need you inside of me now.” She hops off the sink and begins to undo the button on my jeans and then works the zipper down.
“Are you sure, Kayla?” I’ve warned her repeatedly that if we make this jump we’re both all in.
“Yes, I’m fucking sure!”
She pulls my face toward her and our mouths collide. When she tastes herself on my lips, she moans into my mouth. My woman likes it dirty.
“Kayla, if we do this, you’re mine.”
She tugs my jeans and boxers to my knees. “Just fuck me now.”
And I do. I grab her ass and lift her. She wraps her legs around me and simultaneously wraps her arms around my neck. I push her up against the wall and thrust deep inside her.
“Holy shit, woman,” I groan as her warmth and tightness grips my dick.
“Move, Bentley! Fuck me.”
I start off slow, fucking her up against the wall. She lowers her shirt, exposing her perfect tits, and I latch onto her nipple with my teeth, sucking hard while I continue to pump in and out of her. I can feel her pussy contracting and know that she’ll soon be chasing another orgasm.
I move my body closer to hers and nuzzle my face in her neck, getting close enough to go
even deeper inside her. I can feel my orgasm building, so I angle my cock to hit her deep.
“Oh, yes. Bentley, right there. Yes!”
Her pussy tightens around my cock. She’s close. I thrust deeper into her tight pussy as we both find our release.
Once we’ve come down from our highs, I move her back to the sink and set her down. I get a paper towel, wet it, and clean her up.
She sits and watches me and when I’m done I go to give her a kiss but she pulls back.
“What’s wrong?” I ask nervously
“You’re always so damn sweet to me.”
“That’s because I love you, Kayla.” I take her face in my hands and try to make her understand. This woman means so much to me.
“Bentley, I can’t do this.” She’s shaking her head back and forth and I know I’m losing her once again.
Is she fucking kidding me right now?
“Do what?” I hope I’m wrong, but my gut is telling me I already know the answer to my question.
“I know what you said, but it was in the heat of the moment. I wasn’t thinking. You can’t love me. You can’t say shit like that to me. I’m not capable of love. I don’t want love. I’m already a fucking disappointment to my mom as it is. The last thing I need to do is give her another reason to remind me how badly I always fuck up.”
Fuck, she’s freaking out. I never should have used those words with her. What the hell was I thinking? I can’t take it back now.
“Are you serious, Kayla? You knew how I felt. You know how I feel about you. I know we’ve been drinking, but I fucking asked you. You said okay. Forget your mom, please. Listen to your heart, baby.” My voice bounces off the walls, getting louder with every word I speak. I’m fucking hurt and desperate and beyond pissed that I can’t make her see what we can have. I should have known she would pull this shit.
She looks at me with remorse in her eyes and says, “I’m sorry but I can’t give you anything more.”
I see red. I’m drunk and angry and so fucking upset that all I can see is red. If she were a guy, I would fucking deck her. I don’t even know how to handle this. I punch the closest thing to me—a paper towel holder. It falls to the ground, making a loud clanking noise. Kayla jumps in fear. I need to walk away.
“Fuck this!” I shout in her face. “Fuck this and fuck you. I don’t need this bullshit. You’re right. You said you didn’t want this and I ignored it thinking you would eventually come around to wanting more. I was wrong. Enjoy your lonely fucking life because I’m done.” I slam my fist into the mirror behind her, shattering it to pieces and then storm out.
It’s time for me to let go. It is clear she’s never going to give us a chance.
* * *
It’s been about two months since Kayla and I hooked up and a lot has changed, some good and some not so good. It’s Christmas morning and we’re standing in Cooper and Liz’s new home, although it’s more like a damn mansion, as he kisses her like nobody else is in the room. He just proposed and she said yes. On top of that, she announced that she’s pregnant with their second child. I’m happy for them. I’m happy they found their forever. Their daughter Bella doesn’t even know what’s going on as she chases around her new puppy, Elsa, which she named after the movie Frozen. Don’t look at me like that… I know Frozen. It may be because the adorable almost five-year-old made me watch it and nobody in their right mind says no to her, but the point is, I know the damn movie.
I look across the room and lock eyes with Kayla. She looks so sad. I would do anything to make her smile, but she doesn’t want me to be the man for that job. I look to my left at the arm hooked with my own. The owner of that arm is my girlfriend Sophia. We’ve been dating for about a month now and it’s going okay. She’s not Kayla, but she’s nice and attentive and wants a future with me. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Why did I move on so quickly? Don’t judge until you know the whole story…
It was a couple days before Thanksgiving and I had gotten off work and decided to meet Caleb at the local pub for a drink. I was walking through the door with my head down, staring at my phone. Kayla sent me a text saying she needed to talk to me so I was texting her back to find out when and where.
Kayla: ASAP
Me: I’m at Mitch’s Pub. Do you want to come here?
Kayla: No, I’ll just see you at the apartment.
Me: Okay
I wasn’t looking where I was going when I ran into a woman walking toward the restrooms. I almost knocked her to the ground, but luckily I grabbed her arm and caught her before she hit the floor.
“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you okay?”
She gave me a shy smile and nodded. She had pretty green eyes unlike Kayla’s light blue and red hair that flowed down her back unlike Kayla’s blond hair. She wasn’t skinny and toned like Kayla, but had a body shaped like an hourglass. I realized I was comparing her to Kayla and that looks-wise they were exact opposites.
“It’s okay. I was in a rush to wash my hands. I spilled my martini on me and my hands are all sticky.”
She raised her hands up to show me the invisible stickiness while she scrunched up her nose in disgust. I chuckled at her cuteness.
“I’m Sophia.”
“I’m Bentley. Nice to meet you.”
“My friend and I are just having a drink at the bar. Would you like to join us?
Now, right here is where a smart man who has feelings for another woman would have said no and walked away, but I never claimed to be smart. I’ve spent weeks being turned down by Kayla and to be honest it was nice to have a woman who actually wanted to spend time with me.
“Sure. I’m meeting my friend though, so let me make sure it’s okay with him.”
“Okay, cool! And your friend is totally welcome as well.
She showed me where she and her friend were sitting and I told her I would come over either way to let her know if we would be joining them.
I found Caleb sitting at the bar only a few seats down and told him Sophia and her friend invited us over. He reluctantly said okay and we moved down the few seats to join them.
About thirty minutes later the girls were tipsy. Apparently, they had been drinking for quite a while. I heard a throat clear behind me and when I turned around I saw none other than Kayla standing with her hands on her hips. I didn’t get her anger until I realized Sophia was practically sitting on my lap at this point.
“So, I take it you’ve moved on to your new happily-ever-after.”
I don’t get women and I don’t think I ever will. If you really think about this logically, I’ve pursued the woman the entire time I’ve known her and been around her, and of course after she has pushed me away repeatedly she decides to get mad when I’m around another woman. It just doesn’t make sense.
“We were just having a drink. I thought you said you wanted to talk at home.”
“Never mind. I changed my mind. We don’t need to talk.”
I moved Sophia off my lap and went toward Kayla. This girl has me in fucking knots. I would give anything for her to just give me a chance but she just keeps dicking me around. There’s only so much a man can take and I’m sick of acting like a fucking pussy.
“Look, I don’t understand why you’re mad. You have said repeatedly you don’t want me. I’m just trying to move forward. Have you changed your mind?”
“No, like I said, never mind.”
She turned around and walked out the door. I should have gone after her, but I was just so fucking tired by the back-and-forth bullshit.
Several hours later, Caleb and I headed home. Sophia asked for my number and I gave it to her. She seemed nice enough, and since she’s the opposite of Kayla, maybe it would help me get over her.
I got home to find Kayla in her room with the door shut. I knocked but of course she ignored me. I went to bed and decided it was really time to move on. I couldn’t keep doing this.
The next day I received a text from So
phia and replied. We started to text throughout the day and it felt good to text with someone who wasn’t annoyed by me.
Kayla, Cooper, and Liz all took off to Florida for Thanksgiving and while talking to Sophia I learned she would be alone. I invited her to join me in Boulder to visit my parents, and Caleb ended up tagging along as well.
We had a good weekend. My parents seemed to like Sophia and she seemed to enjoy herself. A few times she complained about me wanting to spend so much time with my parents and not go out, but I let it go. I’ve learned most kids don’t have the relationship with their parents that I have with mine.
We got back Sunday, and on Monday Sophia asked if I wanted to go to dinner. After I picked her up I realized I forgot my wallet, and instead of her offering to pay, she got an attitude, so I turned around to go home and get my wallet.
“I’ll be right back.” I jumped out of my car and sprinted back to the apartment. We made reservations and if I didn’t hurry we would be late.
I got to the apartment, opened the door, and didn’t bother to close it behind me since I would only be a minute. When I came out of my room I saw Sophia and Kayla squaring off.
While glaring at Sophia, Kayla said, “Seriously? You couldn’t leave the trash outside?” Whoa! I wasn’t sure what her deal was, but she clearly had her claws out and ready to fight.
Before I could get between them, Sophia lunged at Kayla. I grabbed Sophia by the waist and spun her around. Then I looked at Kayla with a what the fuck expression on my face.
“Whatever,” she hissed before retreating back to her room.
After that day, Caleb came to me and told me Kayla was moving out. As much as I wanted to stop her, I figured it was for the best. I sure as fuck couldn’t make her happy, so maybe she would find happiness elsewhere.
I also decided not to bring Sophia to my apartment anymore. Since Kayla would be moving out soon there was no point in starting unnecessary drama.
Now it’s Christmas and from what I’ve heard from Caleb, Kayla has decided to move back to Florida. I’m staring at the girl I know deep down my heart wants and it feels like it’s shattering into pieces. I know I have Sophia with me and that we’re dating, but I can’t help feel like when Kayla leaves, she’s ripping my heart out and taking it with her. I can’t make her believe in love. I can’t make her want a future with me. I can’t make her want to give us a chance. All I can do is have faith that maybe one day our paths will cross again and she’ll feel the same way I do. I know it’s not fair to Sophia, so I make the decision that starting today I’m going to give her my all. The only problem is, my all is nothing more than a broken, mangled heart.
