by Nikki Ash
Ah, shit. She just had to go there. Caleb is loyal to a fault and he absolutely adores Kayla. This isn’t going to be good.
He walks up to her and rakes his gaze up and down her like he’s checking her out, but not in a good way, more of a who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are way.
“I get you’re Bentley’s girl, so I’ve made sure to be nice to you out of respect for him. I listen to you whine and bitch over everything every time you’re here, but I ignore it. I listened to you talk shit about my friend in Florida and I let it go because I let Bentley handle it, but now you’re in my home and talking shit about one of my best friends and I’m done listening to it. Kayla has made some shitty choices, but she’s still a thousand times more of a woman than you’ll ever be.”
I can tell he’s losing his patience with her, so I cut him off. The fact is I’ve had enough of all this. I need to focus on my baby and Kayla.
“Caleb, can you give Sophia and me some time alone?”
He simply nods and walks to his room, closing the door.
“He’s such an asshole. You seriously have the worst friends, Bentley.”
“I beg to disagree. Look, Sophia, this just isn’t working. I need to focus on my baby and I just don’t feel like we’re clicking anymore.”
She puts her hand on her hip and curls her lip in annoyance. “You mean you have to focus on Kayla?”
“At this point, the baby and Kayla are one in the same. It doesn’t even matter. I just know that I can’t focus on you.”
“Whatever! You’ll regret this. She doesn’t even want you.” She walks around the room and grabs her belongings. She doesn’t have much here. I never let her leave anything nor have I offered her a drawer or storage of any kind. I think I always knew it wouldn’t work out, but I was so hurt over Kayla I latched on to the closest woman.
She slams the door on her way out and I sit on the couch finally taking a deep, cleansing breath.
Caleb walks out and looks around for Sophia.
“Is she gone?”
“Yeah, she is.”
“Good. Bro, how you went from a woman like Kayla to a spoiled little girl like Sophia is beyond me.”
“I think that’s why I did it. They’re exact opposites. I love Kayla so damn much, and I think in the back of my head I knew whoever I was with wouldn’t be permanent because Kayla is all I want.”
He nods slowly. “Makes sense. Look, Kayla is fragile. She comes across as being tough, but she has a lot of shit going on inside her head. Just go easy on her.”
I nod knowing he’s right. I’m glad him and Kayla have developed a friendship.
“Have you spoken to her?”
“Yeah, she’s a mess. So when do you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning. I think I’m going to hit the gym. How’s the training coming along for the fight?”
“Good. I’m working with Kaden more since Cooper semi-retired. He’s working me hard. I’m hoping this upcoming fight will help me make a name for myself. Every single person I’ve fought and beaten has been minor compared to this guy.”
“You got this shit, bro.” We fist bump and I take off to the gym.
Ten
Kayla
I’m nervously running around getting ready for my doctor’s appointment. I’ve been to every appointment by myself and today Bentley will be joining me. We’ll also be seeing the baby through ultrasound and hopefully finding out the sex. He sent me a text this morning to let me know he has arrived and is staying at the Jupiter Beach Resort right down the street from my house, which means he isn’t planning to fly back tonight.
I didn’t have the guts to ask him if he’s still with his girlfriend and if so, if she’s with him. I know if my man were flying across the country to go hang out with his baby mama I would be right there by his side. Of course that’s just one more reason why I’m single.
There’s a knock on the door and I’m so thankful everybody in my house is gone. When I told my mom that Bentley was coming she gave me a huge lecture on not allowing him to steer my emotions. She knows now that I’m definitely not giving the baby up for adoption, but she has made it clear how bad of an idea she thinks it would be for Bentley and me to get together.
When I open it up, Bentley’s standing there. He’s dressed in a white collared polo shirt that’s tight enough to see the definition of his biceps and muscles but still loose enough that you can only imagine what’s underneath. Of course I’m one of the lucky ones that have gotten to see what’s underneath and it is pure. Fucking. Perfection. He’s wearing dark blue jeans and Nikes. He’s the epitome of sex. His hair is grown out just enough that I could pull on it while his face is buried deep between my legs. What the heck am I thinking? It’s got to be the pregnancy hormones. I’ve been turned on like crazy lately. I swear I’m going to have to buy batteries for my vibrator in bulk at this point.
I look into his beautiful dark blue eyes and see laughter. Shaking my head, I try to snap out of my mini-lust daydream but it’s too late. It’s like he can read my mind.
“You can have this any time you want.”
Laughing at his insinuation, I play it cool. “I don’t think your girlfriend will be too keen on that idea. Or are you thinking a threesome? She’s got quite a temper; I bet she likes it rough in bed.”
He closes the space between us and pushes me gently against the door. “One, I don’t have a girlfriend. Two, the only person I want to discuss being in bed with me is you. And three, I have no desire to share you with anybody else, man or woman. Got it?”
Well, hot damn. Maybe I won’t need my vibrator after all…
“Have you been with anybody since you left?”
For a second I consider lying to him. I hate that Bentley has been with another woman since me, but I go with the truth because I always tell it like it is, and I’m not going to change who I am now.
“No, unlike you, I’ve only been with one person in the last year and that person is you.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “I can’t take back being with Sophia. I was hurt by your rejection. You have to know that she’ll never compare to you. Nobody will, but fuck, what am I supposed to do when you won’t give us a real chance?”
Whoa! Shit is getting way too deep. Time to change the subject.
“Oh, stop. We weren’t even together. You can sleep with anybody you want. Yeah, we have crazy chemistry, but it’s just sex, Bentley.”
He smiles when I mention our chemistry, but it quickly morphs into a frown when I add that last tidbit in, and I immediately want to take it back. I hate to see him sad. It feels like my cold, icy heart thaws just a little bit every time he’s around being so sweet to me.
He wraps his arms around my waist. “We’re having a baby together, Kayla. You’re stuck with me for life. That means I have the rest of our lives to convince you that it’s okay to love me. It’s okay to have feelings. What that guy did to you was wrong. I don’t know what happened, but whatever he did, he was an immature little boy who didn’t deserve your heart. And what your mom said was way the fuck wrong. Parents should encourage love not discourage it. One day you’ll give me your heart, baby, and it will be nothing short of amazing because love is a beautiful thing.”
He gives me a soft kiss on my cheek and then moves me from the door, closing it so we can leave to my appointment. He doesn’t even wait for a reply, and that’s probably a good thing because what the heck would I say to that? Everything he says is true, but it doesn’t stop me from still being afraid.
We arrive at the doctor’s office at two on the dot. I sign in and we have a seat in the waiting room. A very pregnant woman with two little kids is sitting just to the left of us. Her kids are playing with blocks and she’s rubbing her huge belly.
“Do you want more kids?” I don’t know what comes over me when I blurt out this question. I swear I’m blaming all my craziness on my pregnancy hormones.
Bentley grins at me. “Damn, woman, you’re still pregnan
t with our first kid and you’re already thinking about having more?”
I smack him on his shoulder and he just laughs. “No! I was just curious how many you plan to have. You are an only child.”
“Well, I guess that depends on you. How many do you want?”
I roll my eyes but answer. “I have one brother, but we aren’t close. I kind of wish we were. I think it would be nice to have a couple kids. ”
He nods and then leans in to me. “Once you admit that you love me, I’ll give you as many kids as you want.”
I chuckle at that and then smirk. “I’m pretty sure all I need to do is get you drunk and find a bathroom like the last time.”
“Kayla, that shit isn’t cool.” His features are no longer carefree but brooding. I was only joking, but it’s clear he doesn’t think it’s funny.
Once my name is called, we go to the ultrasound room and I get undressed below my waist, lie down on the bed, and leave my stomach bare. The ultrasound tech comes in and says hello while squirting the blue gunk on my belly to do the ultrasound.
Within seconds I hear the Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh, making me smile. Bentley looks confused, so I explain to him what he’s hearing. “That’s her heartbeat.”
His gaze becomes mesmerized and in awe as he glances from my belly and back to the screen several times.
“So amazing.” His lips curl into the biggest grin like he’s already in love with her, and I feel like such a piece of shit for attempting to keep all this from him. He deserves to watch our baby grow. She’s as much his as she is mine.
“You said baby girl. Did you already find out the sex?” the ultrasound tech asks.
“No, it’s just a mother’s intuition.”
“Well, do you want to know if your intuition is correct?”
I glance at Bentley and he gives me a small smile letting me know he’s okay with finding out the sex.
“Yes, please!”
She moves the doppler around my stomach, then stops and presses some buttons to zoom in and get a clearer picture.
“See those three lines right there? You’re having a little girl and she’s growing right on track with your due date. You were right about your mother’s intuition. I’ll take a couple screen shots for the doctor to look over more thoroughly and print some up for you to take home.”
“Thank you.”
“Um, miss,” Bentley says to the tech. “Can you print some up for both of us, please? I would like to have some.” Bentley looks so uncomfortable asking because it means we aren’t going to the same home. I doubt she knows that, but I know that’s why he’s asking, and I feel horrible. But how do I change the way I feel? How do I open my heart up and risk getting hurt again? I know what happened to me was when I was younger, but the concept doesn’t change once you’re an adult. If I give me heart to Bentley, I risk being hurt, only this time the stakes are higher because now we have a daughter on the way.
“Sure thing,” the tech says brightly.
After I get dressed and she gives us the photos, we head out. I’m thinking Bentley will take me straight home but instead he stops at an Italian restaurant down the street from the OB’s office.
“Is this okay? I figured you might be hungry and it’s almost dinner time.”
“Yeah, sounds good.” I feel so guilty I’d probably agree to anything the man wants right now.
We walk into the restaurant and my eyes go straight to the boy—well technically now he’s a man—that broke my heart. What are the freaking odds of seeing him here?
Eleven
Bentley
This afternoon has been amazing. Getting to see our precious little girl on the ultrasound screen and hearing her heartbeat is nothing short of a miracle. When Kayla threw it in my face that it was just drunken sex that created our baby, I wanted to punch something, but I let it go. Sometimes when I look at Kayla I think she might be coming around, but then she closes up, and it feels like I have to start again from square one.
We walk into the restaurant for an early dinner at a local Italian restaurant I looked up and read good things about. Kayla is in front of me, and when she stops short before making it to the hostess stand, I run right into her, then grab her from behind to make sure she doesn’t fall over.
“Kayla Peterson, is that you?”
A sleazy-looking guy walks up to us, never taking his eyes off Kayla.
“It is you! How are you? What’s it been like, ten years?”
I’m still holding onto her and can feel her entire body tense when he speaks to her. I wait for her to say something and when she doesn’t, I take over.
“I’m Bentley, and you are?” I hold my hand out to shake his and he shakes mine in return.
“Oh, shit! Aren’t you the UFC Fighter? I watched your fight a few months back. My name is Jake.”
Kayla is still standing there frozen in place so I continue talking to this guy. “Yeah, that’s me. So how do you know Kayla?”
Yeah, I’m talking like she isn’t even here, but I don’t know what else to do. She isn’t saying shit,
“We hung out for a little bit back in high school. Fun times.”
“Fun times?” Kayla practically shrieks.
Okay. I guess she’s found her voice and it doesn’t sound like she would agree with the term fun.
“Fun times?” she repeats. “I wouldn’t call you pretending to like me just so you could have sex with me and then dump me right afterward fun times! I wouldn’t call you spreading it all over social media fun times, either! Or how about when I told you I loved you and in return you laughed at me and left? Was that fun for you? Because it sure as hell wasn’t fun for me! Oh! And how about afterward, when I had to spend the next three years going to school with guys that just wanted me for sex since you told everybody how easy I was before you left for the summer and then ended up moving away? Nope, definitely wouldn’t call any of those fun times.”
Suddenly it’s all making sense—Kayla not believing in love, the guy who broke her heart who she refuses to speak of, her listening to her mom when she told her love doesn’t belong in a relationship. The guy who helped make her who she is today is standing right in front of me, with his eyes wide open like the scared little pussy he is, and it’s taking everything in me not to deck him straight in his face for everything he’s done to Kayla.
“Look, Kayla...” he begins, but I’ve had enough, so I cut in. I’m not about to sit here and listen to his excuses.
“No, you don’t have shit to say to her. I think you did enough. Take your punk ass out of this restaurant and don’t even think about this woman again. As a matter of fact, if you ever even see her again you walk the other way. Got me?” I don’t bother waiting for his answer. I take Kayla by the hand and lead her to the podium to request a table.
When we sit down, she’s visibly shaking. I could ask her to tell me about what happened, but based on what she said to him, I can piece it together enough to know that piece of shit used her for sex and then dumped her. I do have one thing I need to say, though.
“Look, I know you probably don’t want to talk about what just happened or what happened all those years ago, but I just need to say one thing.”
I wait for her to agree then I continue. “It sucks that I didn’t meet you before him because if I would’ve met you before that asshole, I would have had your heart, and my guess is, it would still be intact and perfect because I would’ve handled it with care. You may not admit it, but what we have is more than just sex and it didn’t just start recently. It started six damn years ago and if I had had you before he tore your heart to shreds and you let your mom get under your skin, I wouldn’t have taken it for granted. I’ll never take you for granted.
“Every day you live a lie trying to convince yourself love isn’t real, you’re letting him win. I’m not going to give up on you. Until you’re ready to give us a real chance I’ll have enough faith for the both of us. I’m here, Kayla, and I’m not going anywhere.”
I give her a second to let it all sink in and then say, “Now let’s eat some food. I’m starving.”
She smiles and nods, and I know she gets it.
Twelve
Bentley
“Sweetie, I’m so glad you broke up with that Sophia girl.”
My mom and dad are in town for the wedding. They’re staying at a hotel for the weekend, so I met them at the restaurant attached to the hotel for dinner.
“If you didn’t like her why didn’t you say something?”
“We just want you happy, Bentley. It isn’t our place to judge. How are Kayla and the baby?”
After I found out Kayla was pregnant, I immediately called my parents to let them know. As an only child, my mom has been waiting for the day she’ll get a grandchild. Since I told her Kayla is having a girl she has sent me packages of girl shit every day. I hope Kayla allows my mom to be a part of this baby’s life. I can’t imagine why she wouldn’t, though. While Kayla and I still aren’t together, we have reached a new understanding. I’ve flown to Florida for every doctor’s appointment and we’ve reached a level of comfort where we actually laugh and talk and joke around. I can feel her opening up, but she just isn’t quite there yet.
I’ve brought up our living arrangements, but she’s hell-bent on living in Florida. I think the lack of affection in her childhood home makes her feel safe because she doesn’t have to deal with emotions with her family. Caleb has told me I’m welcome to use the third bedroom as a nursery until I figure out what I’m going to do, so I currently have a crib, bassinet, rocking chair, and other essentials in the room that I’ll need for the baby. I know it’s wishful thinking that I’ll convince Kayla to move here with the baby, but even if she’s willing to visit, I want to have everything she needs for her here.
“I think she’s good. She flew in today for the wedding as well. Her parents are busy so they won’t be going. Work always comes first for them. She flew with Liz’s family so at least she wasn’t alone on the flight.”
