by Nikki Ash
“Nothing about us will ever be like your parents. I know they mean well, but this isn’t a business arrangement. I love you.”
“Bentley…” I know what she’s going to say, so I cut her off by giving her a small kiss on her lips to shut her up. Her lips are soft and gentle and they make me want so much more. She pulls away from me with a glare, but when she tries to sit up, she’s quickly reminded she just had major surgery.
“Ow!” she cries out.
“Be careful.”
“Well, I wouldn’t have to be careful if you wouldn’t attack me with your mouth!”
“Don’t your parents ever kiss?”
“I’m sure they do… They do have needs, but I think right now we need to keep the line clear. I don’t want it getting all blurry. Let’s just focus on Faith.”
I steal another kiss from her and stand, and she looks at me like I’m crazy.
“What? You can do things your way and I’ll do things mine,” I say as I head to the bathroom, trying discreetly to adjust the hard-on I have going on.
Seventeen
Kayla
Bentley heads to the bathroom while trying to hide his erection… like I wouldn’t notice the man’s large, hard dick sticking straight out while he tries to adjust himself as he walks away. I bring my fingers up to my lips where his just were. Chemistry between Bentley and I has never been the problem. The problem is the fact that Bentley wants more and more leads to heartbreak and embarrassment.
I decide to check out the nursery while Bentley is in the bathroom. The doctor said it’s important to walk around as much as possible to work the muscles that had to be cut open for the C-section. I walk past Caleb’s room and then Bentley’s room and into my old room. It feels like a lifetime ago, but in reality it’s only been six months since I moved out.
The room has been transformed into a surfer’s oasis. The entire room is painted a beautiful sky blue with a darker blue toward the bottom that makeup the waves. The trim is a tan color, which I’m assuming is to represent the sand. Faith’s crib bedding is different shades of pink with multicolored surfboards all over it, and over her crib is a huge adorable umbrella-looking mobile. There’s a surfboard hanging over the changing table that has her name written out across it. The rug is a large surfboard, and on the wall are pictures of surfers. When I look closer, I see they aren’t just any surfers… they’re of me!
“Do you like the room?”
I jump at the sound of Bentley’s voice, which is insane because I’m standing in my own daughter’s room. It’s not like I’m sneaking through his stuff.
“How did you get these pictures of me?” I ask, pointing to them.
He smiles wide clearly proud of himself. “Google. I remembered that guy said a while back you were in various competitions and such, so I searched your name and found some photos from your surfing days.”
“When did you have time to do all this? I was only out of it for like a week.”
His lips tip into a frown. “Actually, most of this was all done in advance. I wanted Faith to know she always has a place here, and if we were sharing custody I wanted her to have a piece of you when she was away from you and with me.”
Damn it, this man definitely does not fight fair.
* * *
I haven’t left the house since I’ve been home from the hospital and I’m about to crawl out of my skin with aggravation. I need to get out of this house and off this couch! Bentley doesn’t leave often, but he leaves at least once a day, usually to get groceries or go to the gym. Sometimes he’ll take Faith to visit his parents. Because I can’t lift, he takes Faith with him everywhere. Apparently all the guys at the gym absolutely adore her and take turns holding her. I’m not complaining because he has been the perfect partner and father. He takes care of everything and all I have to do is lie here and cuddle with our precious little girl all day, but if I don’t get out of here soon I might kill somebody. Okay, yes, I’m being a bit dramatic but you get my point.
Bentley comes walking into the living room freshly showered and looking hot as hell. “My mom wants to host a Fourth of July barbecue at the place they’re renting. It has a pool and big backyard, but I told her we aren’t up for it…”
“Are you out of your damn mind? Call her back now! Tell her we will be there! I need to get out of this house right now! Right. Freaking. Now!”
He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind and puts his hands up in surrender, and in his defense I just may have.
“Okay, okay. I didn’t know you were feeling this way. We can go. You sure you’re up to it? You’ve only been out of the hospital for a short time.”
“I’m definitely good to go. Get me a chair under an umbrella, a nice cold alcoholic beverage, and I’ll be perfect.”
He smiles and says, “Okay, done.”
After we confirmed we were going, I called Liz to invite her family, and then she called everybody else to invite them.
Now I’m lounging out on the amazing back patio of a huge ass house Bentley’s parents are renting, listening to music, drinking a Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and holding my baby girl while I watch everyone play in the water. Cooper and Bentley are teaching Bella how to chicken fight. Cooper has Bella on his shoulders and Bentley has Ashley’s son, Tristan, on his, as they explain the object of the game. The problem is Tristan is refusing to push Bella, saying it’s not nice.
“You’re raising him right.” I say to Ashley, who’s lounging in the chair next to me.
“God, I hope so. With me as his primary role model I worry every day.”
“Where’s his dad?”
“Kayla! Don’t be so rude,” Liz chirps in.
“Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. Umm… Tristan’s dad isn’t in the picture. He left when Tristan was born. Trust me it’s a good thing. It’s been hard raising Tristan on my own, but it’s better this way. I don’t make a lot teaching, but it’s enough to support us, and my parents help out when they can.”
Her comment makes me think about Bentley and me. I know I could raise Faith on my own, but these last couple weeks watching Bentley with our daughter has changed the way I see things. He’s so loving and protective, and after she goes to bed every night he lies on the couch and watches television with me. It feels nice to not feel so alone. I’m just so afraid that if it turns bad I’ll have to call my mom to draw up the custody papers.
Nobody says anything and luckily Hayley breaks the awkward silence. “So, I totally have a crush on Caleb and he won’t give me the time of day. I think he’s gay.”
We all burst out laughing at her comment.
“Just because somebody doesn’t want you doesn’t mean he’s gay!” I say through my laughter. Faith stirs in my arms but quickly goes back to sleep.
“Umm… hello? Have you seen me? I’m hot and a doctor. What’s not to want?”
We all laugh harder.
“Honestly, I’ve never seen Caleb with anyone,” Liz says. I think back to all the months I’ve lived here and the truth is, I don’t think he has ever brought someone home.
“Just keep trying. Bentley hasn’t given up yet and he’s starting to wear me down, although I would never tell him that.”
Laughing ensues, until Kathleen walks over.
“Am I interrupting?”
“Oh, no! Just boy talk,” I say with a wink.
She sits at the end of the lounge chair and reaches out to grab Faith. I hand her over and then pull my phone out to snap a picture of her cradling her in her arms. I wish my mom were loving and supportive like this.
When I called my parents they told me it would be weeks before they could come and visit and practically blamed me because I had the baby early.
“Kayla, I don’t know why you left during your third trimester to go to that wedding. Now you’re stuck over there for six weeks.”
“It was my best friend’s wedding. I wasn’t just going to miss it.”
“Yeah, well, now you’re s
hacking up with Bentley and I wouldn’t be surprised if you two are back together soon, which would be a huge mistake. He’s going to break your heart and then when you come crawling back home once again, I’ll be the one helping you to figure out the custody arrangements of your daughter. I understood you not going to law school because, let’s face it, you didn’t have the drive, but to keep making these same mistakes with men is just ridiculous.”
Ryan, Bentley’s dad, announces the food is ready, bringing me back to the now. Everyone scurries over to the buffet they put together to grab their food. As I go to get up to get mine as well, Bentley stops me.
“I got it. Just stay here.” He grabs the back of my face and, before I can stop him, he gives me a big, wet kiss soaking me… from his wet bathing suit! Get your mind out of the gutter.
Bentley’s mom looks at me with a smile, not only on her face but in her eyes. “He loves you, you know.”
“I know. Has he told you anything about my parents or our arrangement?”
“Yes, we’re close. I hope that’s okay. He’s given me the shortened version I’m sure.”
“I just don’t know how to love like you guys do.”
“Sure you do, sweetie. You just have to open your heart and let him in. He told me you were once hurt. I understand. Ever think maybe everything happens for a reason? Sure, you were hurt, but everything from that point on led you to where you are right now, with a beautiful baby girl and a man who adores you both.”
“And what happens when it doesn’t work out? What happens when we’re just another statistic? Did you know that seventy percent of all marriages fail?”
She laughs softly and then pats my leg. “Oh, sweetie. You can’t think like that. All you can do is open your heart and let the ones you love in. Nothing is ever certain, but if you don’t even try you won’t ever know.”
Jeez! Where was she when I was a teenager and needed advice on love?
When I don’t say anything, she reaches over and touches my cheek, and for some weird reason it makes me want to cry. I can’t even remember the last time my parents actually showed me affection.
“Just think about it. No matter what, you have me. I’ll always be here for you, even if it’s just as the grandma to Faith and a friend to you.”
“How long are you guys staying for?”
“We’ve decided to buy this place. As much as I love Colorado, I love being near you guys more.”
The tears that have been threatening behind my lids, spill over, and she looks at me with concern. But before I can explain, Bentley comes over with our food and sees my tears.
“What the hell happened?” His voice carries, and Faith startles at the loudness and begins to cry.
I take her from Kathleen and put her over my shoulder patting her bottom to calm her down while glaring at Bentley.
“Sorry. I saw you crying. Is everything okay?” I think he’s directing the question to me, but he’s looking at his mom.
“Hey! Chill out. Your mom told me she’s buying this place and it made me happy to know she’ll be close by.”
“And that caused you to cry?” he asks incredulously.
“Yes! Okay, I guess it’s the new mom hormones but when she told me she’s staying here, it made me think about the fact that my mom hasn’t even made time to meet my daughter yet and your mom is moving here like it’s nothing.”
The tears start flowing faster and I try to wipe them off my face, but it’s no use, they’re falling faster than I can catch them.
Kathleen reaches over and wraps her motherly arms around Faith and me and holds me tight while whispering in my ear that it’s okay, and for the first time in a long time I feel like it actually is. It also makes me realize that in my twenty-five years my mother has never held me or hugged me like this. If I had to pick a kind of mom to be like, it would definitely be a mom like Liz or Kathleen. It also makes me wonder why the hell I care what my mom thinks. Why do I keep trying to live up to her expectations? Yeah, I was hurt once, but I was young. What if this time around it works out and we live happily ever after?
Faith begins to squirm, letting us know she’s ready to eat. Kathleen lets go of me and wipes my tears. I look around and see everybody staring at us and suddenly feel self-conscious. She takes the baby from me and offers to feed her while Bentley and I eat.
The rest of the day is enjoyable. It feels like I’ve reached a turning point and I’m seeing things in a different light. I want to be more like Kathleen and less like my mom. I want to fall in love, and I want to be happy.
Bentley announces that it’s time to go. I don’t want to leave, but it’s nearing dusk and Bentley is hell bent on keeping Faith on a schedule, and since he’s so adorable about it, I can’t say no.
We get home and I jump in the shower while Bentley gives Faith a quick bath and then lays her down in her crib. I get out to find him lying in bed watching Sports Center in nothing but his boxers over the comforter. In my towel, I walk over to the dresser to get my pajamas out of the drawers before I head into the closet to get dressed.
Up until now I’ve been sleeping on the couch. I’ve said it’s because it’s easier to get to the kitchen and bathroom at night, but the truth is I’m afraid to sleep with Bentley. I know his ass isn’t going to play fair.
After getting dressed I lie down on the opposite side of the bed.
He rolls toward me and laughs. “Finally decided to join me in bed? Any closer to the edge and you might fall off.”
“Yeah, well, my back is starting to get stiff, and since I can walk around now better, and I’m less sore, I don’t need to be close to the kitchen and guest bathroom. As for sleeping on the edge… any closer to you and you might try to have your way with me.”
“Kayla, I already told you this before. I don’t want you for sex, and when we do have sex, it will be you begging me. Now get over here and I’ll play with your hair until you fall asleep.”
Well, I’m sure as hell not going to argue with that. I scoot closer to Bentley, grab a pillow to put against his hard stomach, and lay my head down on it. He runs his fingers through my hair until I pass out.
Eighteen
Kayla
Tonight, Bentley, Faith, and I going out to dinner with our friends and family. Liz has officially reached her due date and wants to have one last dinner before they become a family of four. On top of that my parents and brother all came in this morning and are meeting us as well. While Bentley’s parents have been completely hands-on and have both been a huge help, my family hasn’t even met Faith yet.
I’m getting out of the shower, and about to get dressed, when I hear Bentley talking to someone, which is weird since nobody is here. I listen closer, and I can tell by the sound of his tone, he’s talking to Faith. He always makes it a point to soften his tone when he talks to her. Being nosey, I sneak over to the nursery in my towel and see my man sitting in the rocking chair holding our daughter in his arms while he reads to her.
Oh shit! Did I just say my man? What I meant to say was that man. He’s not mine! Since the first night after the barbeque when I started to sleep in his bed he hasn’t tried anything. Don’t get me wrong, he sneaks in an occasional kiss here and there, but he hasn’t tried anything major. He has been a complete gentleman. I’m actually starting to wonder if he wants me anymore.
I watch Bentley and Faith for a few minutes as he reads to her, and they’re so precious together. She has no idea what he’s reading, but she stares at him like he’s hung the moon. He stops every so often and smiles at her like she’s his entire world. When I watch him like this, doting on our daughter, I can’t help but fall more and more for him. He was already damn near perfect, now add in doting father, and I don’t stand a freaking chance.
I get dressed and then feed my precious angel while Bentley gets ready. I could hold her forever. I’m definitely going to miss her when I go back to work soon, but luckily Cooper is letting me work the hours I want so I won’t have to be a
way from her for too long. And knowing that she’ll be here with Bentley makes me feel even better.
Oh that’s right, I forgot to mention I’m staying here in Vegas. Bentley and I sat down one night and talked and decided it’s for the best if I stay. I haven’t told him I’m seriously considering giving us a real chance yet, but I know that regardless of what happens, my home is here with Liz and Bentley and our friends. Faith deserves to see her daddy every day and I loved my job at the gym. I can’t wait to watch Faith and Liz’s son grow up together. I also love being close to Kathleen and Ryan. I didn’t realize how unfulfilled I felt until everybody around helped fill in the emptiness.
We arrive to the restaurant and are shown to our seats. Everybody is already seated. My mom and dad stand to give me a barely-there hug and an air kiss. It brings me back to the barbeque when Kathleen held me tight and hugged me, showing me what a real mother’s hug should be like. I offer to let my mom hold Faith but she declines.
“That’s okay. Babies are rarely good in restaurants. We don’t want to mess with her. It will be quite embarrassing if she starts crying and ruins everybody’s meal. Honestly, I’m surprised you brought her. Have you not found a nanny yet?
“Um, no, not yet.”
Bentley tenses up but keeps quiet. I haven’t really spoken to my mom about our plans. I just don’t want to listen to her tell me how wrong I am.
I walk around the table and say hello to everyone. Liz gives me a look of sympathy and I walk over and hug her extra tight. We all have a seat and, after the waiter takes our drink orders, the conversation begins. Of course my mom is the one to start it.
“So, Bentley. Kayla tells me you have been home with her since she had the baby. Are you planning to go back to work or just apply for unemployment?” She chuckles at her joke but her tone suggests the question is one meant to be answered.
“Actually, Nancy. I’m not going back to work. At least not any time soon.”
I hear her gasp as she asks, “What do you mean by that?”
