by Nikki Ash
We separate and there’s a knock on the door. There’s no fucking way it could be Kayla. Surely she would know not to show up here after I left.
My mom goes to the door and opens it, and sure enough Kayla is at the door holding Faith in her arms. Faith is giggling and squirming wanting my mom to take her.
They both look at me. I have no idea how to handle this. My mom must sense my frustration because she takes Faith from Kayla and walks out of the room to give us some privacy.
“Bentley, what the hell happened?” Kayla walks over to me with the intent to put her arms around me, but before she can, I back out of her reach. The look of hurt she gives me almost brings me to my knees.
“What happened? What happened was the prenup you had in your drawer, all filled out, just waiting for me to sign.”
She at least has the decency to look embarrassed at the fact that I know.
“Please let me explain. My mom…”
“No, I don’t need or want an explanation. The fact that you even have it is enough for me. Did you hide this to get back at me for hiding being in that stupid mom’s group? You had your mom draw up papers for when we divorce one day. You never thought we would last, did you? I honestly don’t even know why I ever bothered.”
She cringes like she’s been slapped, and I know I’ve probably stepped over the line.
“Wow… Okay… It’s clear you have it all figured out so I’ll just go.”
The way she doesn’t move makes it clear she’s waiting for me to stop her, but it’s not going to happen. When she knows this as well, she nods. I can see the tears in her eyes, but she’s strong so they don’t release before she heads to the kitchen to go get Faith.
I walk out back and find the closest thing to me to take my anger out on. I punch the aluminum storage cabinet over and over again until I hear my dad’s voice.
“It’s a good thing I was planning on replacing that thing with a new wooden one. Once you’re all done we can talk.”
I stop punching the storage cabinet that is now completely mutilated and grab a towel to wipe my bloodied hand on. I take a seat across from my dad at the patio table and drop my head onto the table.
“Wanna tell me why Kayla is in the kitchen with your mom bawling her eyes out?”
I look up at him and shake my head slightly out of frustration. “How do you make someone believe that love is enough?”
He gives me a sad smile. “You can’t. All you can do is love that person and show her every day that you love her. Nobody said love was easy.”
“It’s easy for you and Mom.”
He chuckles softly and shakes his head. “No, it’s not. We just chose to never give up. I try to live by the five rules my dad once gave me to have a successful marriage: don’t be angry with each other at the same time, never go to bed without resolving the issue, never yell at each other unless the house is on fire, never bring up the past, and most importantly, always listen to understand, don’t listen to simply respond.”
I can’t help but laugh at the one about the house on fire.
He gets up and pats me on the shoulder, but before he goes back inside, he says, “You always knew she was a little broken. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. Nobody is perfect. Now it’s up to you to love her broken or let her go so somebody else can. You have to accept people the way they are, cracks and all.”
Damn him for always being right.
Thirty-Two
Kayla
As soon as Bentley left, I grabbed my keys, the diaper bag, and Faith, and chased after him. It didn’t surprise me that he ended up at his mom’s house. I would be damned if I was going to lose him now. I didn’t know what I did wrong, but I was going to find out.
I knocked on the door and was faced with his mom and then him. After she left and he said the word prenup, I wanted to throw up. Why the hell didn’t I just throw those papers away? I know why. Because I’m so messed up when it comes to relationships that I’ll always end up sabotaging anything good that comes my way including having an amazing man like Bentley.
I can’t blame Bentley for being mad. The papers look bad, especially since I didn’t even mention them. He was completely blindsided by them, and I know I would be upset if I found something like that without being told. I know how I felt when I found out about the mom’s group and that’s not half as bad as finding a prenup in your fiancée’s drawer. The truth is I haven’t even had a chance to look at them. I threw them in the drawer and completely forgot about them.
It feels like all I ever do is hurt Bentley. He loves so hard and so deep and I’m always fucking it up.
After Bentley made it a point to hurt me with his words, I headed to the kitchen to get Faith.
I’m now sitting in the kitchen, watching Kathleen feed Faith a crumbs from a sugar cookies and suddenly feel like I just need to get out of here and be by myself. I don’t belong here. I don’t belong in this sweet, loving, selfless home. I’m damaged and I can’t blame Bentley for no longer wanting damaged goods. He deserves perfection.
I stand up, ready to go, when Kathleen pops her head up and directs her attention away from Faith to me.
“He just needs time, sweetie. Don’t overthink this. He’s just hurt. He might be a fighter and look tough on the outside, but he’s always had a sensitive soul.”
I nod in agreement. She’s right. You watch him in a fight and you would think he’s nothing more than a heartless asshole, but the moment the fight is over he’s back to himself. He deserves more than this shit. He deserves more than I can ever give him. I give Faith a kiss on her forehead and gather up my belongings.
“I’m going to go. I have to work tomorrow, even though it’s Saturday. One of the fighters at the gym just got done with surgery on his knee and I agreed to start physical therapy with him. I’m going to leave Faith here with you guys. Bentley should be with her on Christmas.”
I start to walk out the door and she stops me. “Please don’t go. You shouldn’t be alone on Christmas.”
I choke down the sobs that are threatening and shake my head. “It’s okay. It’s for the best.”
When I get home I find Caleb sitting on the couch watching TV.
“Everything okay?” he asks.
I shake my head and he opens his arm up and nods his head to join him. Sitting on the couch, wrapped up in Caleb’s arms, I cry for everything that could have been and everything that will most likely never happen.
* * *
The next day after work I go to Liz’s house to spend time with her and the babies. When I get there I see Faith crawling all over the ground in the living room. I immediately scoop her up and give her big kisses on her cheeks.
“Where’s Bentley?” I ask, looking around.
“He and Cooper had some stuff to do so he asked me to watch her.”
“He could have told me. I’m capable of watching our daughter,” I snap. Liz looks at me with a frown unsure of what to say.
“I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
She gives me a hug. “I think he just figured you would be working.”
“No, he’s mad and doesn’t want to contact me.”
“Want to talk about it?”
We sit on the couch and watch the babies play while I explain to her about the prenup and how Bentley found it before I could throw it away.
“I know I should have thrown it away, but…”
“No, you should have told your mom you didn’t want it to begin with,” Liz says, cutting me off.
She’s right, but I just can’t help but get caught in my mom’s web of negativity.
“I think I was afraid that if I didn’t take it, and he screwed me over, she would once again let me know how stupid I am for making the wrong choices.”
“At some point, Kayla, you’re going to have to realize your mom is pretty damn jaded. She isn’t happy and you know it. Sure, she’s successful by her standards but not by most other peopl
e’s. Do you really want to live your life by her standards?”
“No, I don’t. I love Bentley and my life with him.”
“Just give him a few days to cool off and then go talk to him.”
* * *
It’s been three days since Christmas and I haven’t heard a word from Bentley. After I left Liz’s on Saturday, I went home to sulk in bed. I found the prenup on the dresser with a note.
Kayla,
I would have given you the world and you didn’t need a contract to get any of this from me. Money doesn’t buy happiness. I hope you find your happiness one day. I’m sorry it couldn’t be with me.
-Bentley
I ripped up the stupid contract and threw it in the garbage and stayed in bed for the next twenty-four hours crying. I did what Liz suggested and gave Bentley a few days to cool down, but I’ve reached my breaking point. I’m off work for the next couple days since the club shuts down for New Year’s, and I want to see my daughter. I decide to text him instead of calling in case he doesn’t want to talk to me.
Me: Hey, I’m sorry to bother you. I just got off work and I have tomorrow off. Can I take Faith?
After a few minutes my phone dings.
Bentley: Yeah, you can pick her up at this address. It’s where I’m living now.
I copy and paste the address into Google Maps and see it’s in the same neighborhood as Liz and Cooper. Hmm… that’s weird. How did he find a place so fast?
Me: Okay, is now good?
Bentley: Sure, see you in a few.
I’m heading out of the gym, when I see Marco and Caleb fighting in the ring. Marco practically lives at the gym these days and totally looks up to Caleb. As a mother I can’t imagine my child being away from home so often, and Caleb has made several comments that Marco’s mom doesn’t ever drop him off or pick him up.
“Go Marco! Kick his butt!” I yell, rooting for him. They both smile and wave at me.
Caleb has been my saving grace the last few days. He has really turned out to be an amazing friend and he never judges me, which is something I really need right now. After I finished crying on his shoulder he told me I’m welcome to stay as long as I need to. It means a lot since he’s Bentley’s friend and could easily write me off. I know he doesn’t really seem to trust many women, so it means even more to me that he trusts me.
I follow my GPS and pull up to the beautiful house I’ve passed a million times on my way to Liz and Cooper’s place. It is two stories tall and made of mostly tan brick except the front archway, which is made of gorgeous cobblestone. It has a three-car garage and a huge U-shaped driveway. The best part is it’s completely fenced in. I can see Faith riding her bike one day in the driveway or playing with chalk on there, and being completely safe. I haven’t been in the house, but I know it has a fireplace because the cobblestone from the front archway also covers the outside of the chimney on the side of the house.
I pull up and there’s a keypad and call button, so I press the button, and within seconds it buzzes and the electric gate opens and then closes behind me.
I park my vehicle and then knock on the front door.
Bentley opens the door with Faith in his arms and as soon as she spots me she starts making all sorts of noises putting her arms out for me to grab her. I take her and wrap her in a huge hug never wanting to let her go. I don’t even realize I’m crying until I feel Bentley wipe the traitor tears that are trailing down my cheeks.
I walk into the home, and it’s just how I pictured it, if not even more beautiful, and what’s crazy is that it’s furnished.
“Did you move in here this weekend?” I ask in shock.
“Yeah, I didn’t completely furnish it yet. I just bought the basics.”
“Well, it looks great. You did all that quickly. Were you planning to leave me?”
He glares at me like I’ve lost my mind, but what else am I supposed to think? Who buys a house and moves in completely within two days of moving out?
“No, Kayla. This house was supposed to be our engagement present. The house key is under the tree. Did you even bother to open the presents I got you?”
“I haven’t touched anything under the tree since you left. You bought this house for us? This must have cost you a fortune.”
He sighs and closes his eyes briefly—I think to calm himself down. Faith is squirming in my arms to get down, so I set her down on the blanket in the room and she immediately crawls over to her toys to bang on them.
“'I don’t know what to do, Kayla. I’ve tried to show you how much you mean to me, but it’s never enough. It doesn't matter how much I love you, I don’t think you’ll ever truly feel the same way. You’ll always view love negatively. I can love you with all my heart, but I can't make you love me back. I can't make you have faith in what we have. That fact is I haven't done anything to support your bullshit negative theories about love.”
His words break my heart. How can he think I don’t love him? He’s not done talking, though, so I let him continue.
“The truth is I’m a very wealthy man. I come from old money that’s been passed down from generation to generation. On top of that, I’ve made quite a few good investments that have worked out in my favor. I have more money than I can ever spend, and one day Faith will have it all passed down to her.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He brides the gap between us and it takes everything in me not to grab ahold of him and never let go. “Maybe I should have told you from the beginning, I don’t know. If you had known, maybe this whole thing wouldn’t have happened. I thought if you knew it would scare you off, so I kept it to myself. The only people that know are the guys. Even when I funded the youth program at Cooper’s gym I kept it anonymous. I don’t want my money to define me and I don’t want to be judged for having it.
“I wanted you to love me for me and to be comfortable with us. And then to see a fucking prenup is a punch to my face. It sucks so bad. I wanted you forever. What’s mine was supposed to be yours. I don’t give a fuck about my money. All I wanted was you and Faith. I just wanted your love. One side of me is saying I need to move on, but the other side is telling me not to give up on us because I can’t imagine living a life without you by my side. I just can’t do this alone.”
I should probably be mad that he kept his money situation from me but at the same time I can see where he’s coming from. I’ve been hot and cold with him from day one. I can’t blame him for overthinking his choices.
We’re now so close I could kiss him and it’s such a tease because being this close to Bentley and not being able to touch him is torture.
I open my mouth to respond, but my throat feels dry so I clear it and then begin. “I never thought love could ever be a part of me. I was just going through the motions and thought I was smart. No love meant never being hurt. But then you came along and showed me over and over again how amazing unconditional real love can feel. Please don't take that away, Bentley. Please don't give up on me. I’m sorry it’s taking me so long to get on the same page as you, but I really am trying. I promise. We can sign a different prenup. One that protects you and shows you I just want you and not your money.”
“Woman, you aren’t getting it.” He looks into my eyes and then gives me a soft kiss on my lips.
“I don’t care about the money, Kayla. I don’t need or want any contract that states what will happen if we divorce. When I marry you, it’s forever. And if you leave me, you can take it all. A life without you and Faith isn’t a life at all. It’s my job to protect you and our daughter. We shouldn’t need a piece of paper to protect either of us from the other.”
This man could have any woman in the world, anything in the world, and all he wants is to live a life with me and our daughter. I may not deserve him, but I’m going to spend every day earning his love.
I don’t know what to say, so I do the only thing I can think of and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him with all the love I have built up
inside me. His body stills in shock at first, but after a second he relaxes and kisses me back. When we separate I feel like a piece of me is missing. I want to be tied to this man in every way.
“Let’s get married.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy and then laughs. “Umm… I’m pretty sure that was the plan.”
“No, I mean today. Well not today because it’s already too late in the day, but tomorrow. Let’s get married tomorrow. I don’t want to wait. I don’t want a wedding or any of that craziness. I just want you, me, Faith, your parents, and our friends at a Chapel on the strip.”
He grins wide and it melts my heart to see him smile. I vow in that moment to make him smile like that every chance I get.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. This is what I want… I mean, if you still want to marry me that is.”
“Woman, stop. You want to elope that’s what we’ll do. The sooner I can make you officially mine the better. Let’s call my parents and our friends, and then find a chapel we can reserve for tomorrow.”
He wraps his hand around my neck and pulls me close to him again. “Wanna a tour of our new home?”
“Yeah, I do. But what I would really like is the special hands-on tour after Faith goes to bed.”
He barks out a laugh. “Oh, that can definitely be arranged.”
He grabs Faith and we go from room to room as he shows me our new home.
Epilogue
Bentley
“Do you, Bentley Cruz, take Kayla Peterson to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to love and cherish, from this day forward until death do you part?”
“I do.”
It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m looking at the most beautiful woman in the world who is about to become my wife. I tried to get her to do it right by having the wedding at the Bellagio or even the Wynn but she wasn’t having it. According to Kayla, if we’re going to elope we’re going to do it Vegas style. Which is why I’m currently standing in front of the ordained minister in the Little Church of The West with our family and friends, and by our family I mean Kayla’s brother, Zach, and my parents. While she wanted to get married the very next day, once her brother said he would like to attend, we decided to hold off a couple days so he could fly over and give her away since her parents don’t approve of the marriage and refused to be a part of it.
